My Angel Gizzymomo

[Sabrina (Auferstehen)]

Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry, I had no idea anything had happened to Gizzy.

You did what was best for Gizzy by letting him out, it’s not your fault what happened to him or Rio.

One day you’ll be able to look back without the tears but it’ll take time.

Take care of your self, 

[Dawn F]

Tan I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, we were the same with Algie, he needed his freedom but paid the price, I try to rationalise that he had a short life but a happy one I hope that soon you can do the same - hugs Dawn

[Cheesecat]

Oh no, Tan, how terrible - I did not know you had been through it all again with your other babe. I am filling up thinking of what you are going through.
You are right though, you couldn't keep him in if it was getting him down, you did all you could for him.

I am so so sorry 
I hope both Gizzy and Rio are together with Ochi on the bridge and that you are sent a sign that they are all together happy and waiting to meet you again

xxxxxxxxx

[Tan]

It's been 3 weeks now and my brain has been blocking out the pain and any thoughts of my lad. I haven't been able to admit it and not able to tell you all as it would make it real, i still don't want to except it and just want to live in a world where my Gizzy and Rio are simply just out and will be coming home soon. 
Ya all know that i lost my special wonderful lad Rio on 9th July to RTA. There is a hole in my heart that will never heal. What sent me in to denial and a total block was my Gizzy got hit and killed 3 weeks ago on 10th Sept. My so wonderful Mr spitty, my gorgeous adorable babe. I still find it hard to write, i don't want to except it, this seems like only words  and he will be home soon.  Wonderful friends have said it would help to post about it but i really don't want to. He isn't gone, Rio isn't gone.

I do feel so bad and i do blame myself cause if i had continued to keep Gizzy in as i did for 7 weeks after My Rio was killed, he would be home, i would be able to cuddle and love him. I would be able to kiss that gorgeous belly and there would still be fresh scratches on my hand.  I tried so hard to give him all he needed to stay inside and be safe and in the 1st two weeks he seemed happy. With the arrival of Garfy and them getting on sooo well very quickly, i thought yesss my lads are now safe and happy.
Then Gizzy started to stop playing, stop doing anything just sleeping and mopping. I tried to get him to play, give him his fav food, brought new toys, spent alot of every day trying to make him happy. The vets said there was nothing physically wrong with him.  After seeing him like this for 5 weeks it was breaking my heart.   I felt i had no choice but to let him back out. For me i realised either way it was a no win situation for me. To have him depressed kept inside for the rest of his life, we would be both be upset and to let him out again as he was used to for a year and half, i would worry every second he wasn't home but at least Gizzy would be happy. I gave up praying to keep them safe cause for the two years i prayed to keep Rio safe, he was taken form me. God stopped hearing them. 

I want my babes to be happy so i am happy. Oh my darling lads i so hope you are happy and together on the bridge with Ochi, Rio's brother. My heart will never ever be full again.