Dinah is a disgrace! She's like a Hell's Granny!
At the moment her perfect day is something like this:
Pat slaves and hook claws in nostrils until they awake and let you out.
Drink minging water from planter in garden.
Refuse pouch/tin etc.
Go upstairs and demand brushing. Enjoy brushing.
Eat pouch that is brought to you in bedroom.
Snooze for several hours.
Go outside, drink more water, sneak next door.
Have massive, unladylike swearing and spitting match with cat two thirds bigger than you and half your age.
Come back in and demand slaves remove burrs and grass seeds using brush.
Eat biscuits.
Demand slaves come upstairs.
Take up place on slave's pillow and expand to fill maximum size.
Purr and dribble on pillow/slave.
So much for adopting dainty old lady who slept all day and didn't like being outside
She's so funny!