I cant believe it. I got an email from the breeder saying she was sending my deposit back.
She wants to keep the kitten as it looks like a ragdoll she recently lost and she cant bear to give it up.
It broke my heart to read this. I guess I didn't see this coming. Part of me feels angry because we shook hands and she let me come and visit and pay a big deposit. I fell in love with little one the moment I met her and she made it clear that the kitten was reserved for me and everything was finalised. So now not getting her is really upsetting. On the other hand I know I should try and understand it from her point of view, but its hard right now.
I hope she isn't disappointed in the future as this kitten wont be the cat she lost except in looks.
Anyway I have decided to carry on searching and now hopefully have found another possible Ragdoll kitten. This time I know not to get my hopes up too much until I have any potential kitten home.