Author Topic: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats  (Read 6544 times)

Offline Judecat (Paula)

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #16 on: August 08, 2016, 00:01:05 AM »
It does sound very likely Lyn. ;D

You are doing exactly the right thing taking it slowly. :hug: :hug: :hug:

Mine are all eating together - ish, I just have to make sure that Pirate and Pippa are in between Merlin, Bob and Emo. Emo is still scared of Merlin, he and Bob growl if any other cat approaches their bowls. I feel like the cat equivalent of the UN Peacekeeping Force :rofl:
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Offline Lyn (Slugsta)

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #15 on: August 07, 2016, 21:54:37 PM »
It's great to hear that Fluffy is doing so well - and it sounds as if Merlin has fallen on his paws too!

Sky and Alf have met, we have fed them close to each other for the past 3 evenings. Alf isn't sure but seems to think the best tactic is to walk away. Sky is curious and not at all worried by the fact that Alf is more than twice her size! We are still taking things slowly but are hopeful that they will get on better than Alfie and Cleo did.

Offline Judecat (Paula)

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #14 on: August 06, 2016, 19:34:31 PM »
That is fantastic news ;D, (Fluffy was my first cats name ;)),

Lyn's Sky is doing well, my Merlin has progressed to playing, it is all going well on the cat integration and socialisation front :evillaugh:
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Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #13 on: August 06, 2016, 12:52:48 PM »
That's great progress!   ;D  Well done Fluffy.   :) :)

Lyn's Sky is coming on really well too.  Must be the season for it.   :Luv:

Offline Furryhead

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #12 on: August 06, 2016, 11:30:29 AM »
Thanks for your replies Lyn, I hope your new cat is making the progress that Fluffy is making.

Huge change has happened here over the last week. Fluffy is now coming into the lounge on his own and even came on the settee last night of his own accord. When Blackie came in and saw Fluffy where he usually lay he left him alone and walked away. The other day he went outside on his own and did a bit of exploring. Claw-dee-Puss hissed at him (as he always does) but left him alone. Blackie followed him and when Fluffy settled under a tree he also sat down nearby and glared at him for a while but didn't attack. Hubby called Fluffy and he followed him round some of the garden which was amazing.

He no longer hides away but has a chair he likes to call his own, the window ledge or, at night he sleeps in our room in the cat travelling box.
He still doesn't really go outside and hasn't used the cat flap yet (during the day the doors are always open if we are in) so that's the next milestone as I'm getting a bit bored with cleaning the litter tray.

Anyway, that the latest news - I'll keep you all updated when further improvement occurs.

Offline Judecat (Paula)

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2016, 22:31:25 PM »
I must learn patience. Where can I take a crash course?  :rofl:

I just want to know where the shop is so I can buy some. :shify:, patience is a virtue, unfortunately one of many I am lacking in.

As a lot of people know, I have fostered then adopted yesterday a large male stray, he only goes outside if I am out there, maybe, most of the time he sits in the doorway where he can see me and leaves it at that. It is as if he thinks that now he has somewhere ward, safe and gets fed lots he won't risk going out.

If he is happy at the vets, which will only have relatively small pens, maybe it is worth keeping him confined for a bit longer? When he gets used to his surroundings he will probably be happy to explore. maybe just give him a slightly larger access area if possible?
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Offline Sootyca

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2016, 22:15:22 PM »
 :rofl:

Offline Lyn (Slugsta)

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2016, 21:53:24 PM »
I must learn patience. Where can I take a crash course?  :rofl:
« Last Edit: July 30, 2016, 21:53:43 PM by Lyn (Slugsta) »

Offline Sootyca

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2016, 20:14:15 PM »
Maybe both your cats have arrived to teach you patience :)  They will only go at their own speed :)

Offline Lyn (Slugsta)

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #7 on: July 30, 2016, 20:05:19 PM »
We are in a different situation from you - but share some similarities as our new cat is very timid. Any sudden move or unexpected noise and she is off, back under the bed most likely. She's very affectionate, loves being stroked, but doesn't tolerate any move that even looks as if she is going to be picked up.

What we do have in common is that this is going to take a lot of time and patience (and we haven't even tried introducing the newcomer to our existing cat yet).

Offline Furryhead

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2016, 17:59:08 PM »
Thanks for your input and insight Sootyca. We had to house him at the vets while we went away and he seems to really like it there as they have actually had more contact with him so far than we have.

He has been a little more adventurous since we got back 2 days ago - once laying sprawled out in the open and several times perching on the stone window ledge but then it has been awfully hot here. He still spends most of the time hidden away although hubby has just told me that he (Fluffy not hubby) is currently sprawled in the open front doorway. This IS progress!

He's a lovely cat but recoils when we reach out to stroke him but enjoys being held on a lap and stroked and even offers his tummy for tickling. Oh and I don't think he's up for playing yet as he really freaked out when we showed him the fishing rod toy.

We're trying to take it slowly but we don't do patience very well!

Offline Sootyca

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2016, 21:24:48 PM »
I have a girl who is thought was previously a stray - I've had her now for 6 years I think it is.....in that time she has barely gone outside.  She is getting better at it this year but she has to know she can get back in.  Within minutes of a door shutting she will be there wanting to get in.   I don't force the issue with her - if she wants to stay indoors that's up to her :)  Maybe it's a lingering memory of not having a home - she doesn't want to go out and risk losing a good thing!

As previously mentioned - toys are usually a great way to get cats to interact.  If he doesn't want to get close enough to play the rod toys would be the best or a laser toy (none of mine have ever been able to resist the red dot!)  After the play session maybe feed him some treats but put them close to you so he has to be near you to get them - I wouldn't necessarily put them right next to you or try touching him but just so he knows that you are the source of good things :)

If he has access to all the house maybe it is all overwhelming with the sounds and scents and he is struggling to adjust.
)
Hope you manage to get him settled before you have to go away.  They are all gorgeous :)

Offline Furryhead

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2016, 20:23:04 PM »
Thanks for both replies and the cat compliments - they are all lovely but then I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a cat that isn’t!

Gill you might be right about him previously being an indoor cat (the vet thinks he could be feral but I don’t see it) but we like to go away for short trips every now and again and it really isn’t practical to have someone come and have to empty litter trays. In September we have to visit the UK so we’ll be away for about 10 days. The friend that comes isn’t that keen on cats - she's much more of a dog person - but she is reliable and does her best. I don’t know anyone else who lives close enough to come.

BTW when we lived in the UK we only had a garden but land is cheap in Portugal (houses too if you aren’t in the Algarve or near Lisbon!).

SueP - wow what a thoughtful reply, many thanks - here’s some answers to your questions:

Fluffy appears to enjoy being cuddled and also seems relaxed when he’s outside with us but every time we have left him outside he has either ran back inside or stayed out but hidden. He doesn’t recognise his name yet so calling him yields nothing.

I wouldn’t say he gets along with the other cats, rather ignores them! Luckily they also don’t seem too concerned/jealous of him.

That first night was strange, he came up beside me on my pillow. It was only in the morning we found him in that cat bed we had provided and soaked in pee. The vet said she was 100% sure he was scent marking but thankfully it hasn’t happened again but a shame that he hasn’t felt comfortable enough with us to come on the bed again. Our only problem with letting him remain inside is that we need to go away next week for a few days so we either have to get him used to being outside quickly or take him back to the vets for those days which we can do but I’m concerned we might undo all the progress we’ve made.

We have spent a lot of time just sitting with him but outside or in front of the tv (which we have to have on low as he gets a bit freaked out by the sounds) but we can’t just sit with him in the bedroom as he’ll be under the bed and we’ll be on top like we are when we are sleeping. We’ll try your  a good idea to encourage him with treats to gain trust.

We did try a couple of cat toys but he wasn’t interested - maybe he hadn’t recovered enough so we’ll keep trying.

I think you’re right about it needing time, it’s just that time isn’t on our side.

Blackie was very sick a few years ago and was in the vets for a week. We asked about his dribbling but the vet said he would need to be anaesthetised for them to look and he wouldn’t cope with that. He has a chronic liver condition and many times when we have been to the vets since we have mentioned his dribbling but she but never suggests bringing him in. He has some dental stuff in his water now and I think it has helped as he’s starting to eat biscuits again.
 
Yes it is lovely here, almost idyllic!

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2016, 18:33:48 PM »
Hello there.  A big warm Purrs welcome to you and your OH, Blackie, Claw Dee Puss, Fluffy (and not forgetting the lovely Ginger, bless his paws)

What beautiful cats, and how lovely you've made your home available for them all. 

So, have I got this right - Fluffy loves being with you, spends a great deal of his time hiding under your bed, and would prefer not to go out?  he gets along with the other cats tolerably well, and so far there's been little other than the odd hissing and growling? 

If so, it sounds like he's actually been very well received.

When you say he had spent the night with you, but ended up back in his own bed soaked in pee, did you get to the bottom of why that was?   Was it related to his tumour or other health problems?

If not, he may have been scent marking, to help himself feel "safe."  Given he's expressed reluctance to go outdoors, and has been hiding under your bed, and given that he's been quite sick, he may feel exposed and vulnerable in the open.  I also wonder f having found a place he feels "safe" when you go to pick him up and take him outside, he may feel that he's being rejected, and may no get back to his "safe" place again.  Would you have a problem letting him remain inside, with primary access to one particular room, until he's had more time to heal, and to relax into his new situation? 

Physical illness may have been the least of his worries.  It's hard for cats that live on their wits when they fall ill.  Any sign of vulnerability turns them from hunter to potential prey, and it's a huge psychological knock for a cat.

My suggestions would be not to force the introductions at this stage, because in fact they haven't been going too badly.   You need to go slowly with Fluffy, to win his trust and to show him that nothing bad is going to happen to him now - that you're a regular source of food, comfort and care, and that he is welcome to stay.  This will take time, and you have to go at the cat's pace, however slowly that may seem to be going.   Giving him a safe hiding place in your home is a great idea - it's somewhere for him to retreat to, and to call his own. 

Spending time just sitting with him - not moving to fuss him unless he seems receptive - and just letting him get used to being around you all with nothing "bad" happening is a great idea.  If you can read where he is, listen to the radio, watch TV or surf the net all within easy reach will help.  So will encouraging him to accept attention by giving him a small treat when he let's you get closer.  Try to get him comfortable enough to accept food from your fingers if you can, so he associates you both being around him with good things - positive reinforcement.

Have you tried him with any toys to play with?  Fishing rod toys are great for capturing their interest, and you can determine the vigour of play by the way in which Fluffy reacts initially, taking it gently to begin with so he isn't frightened by the prospect.  I would also suggest asking the friend who takes care of the cats to pop by a few times so he can get accustomed to his or her presence, and again associate them with good things.

Has Blackie had a dental check?  Sometimes if they're affected with an abcess or a sore tooth, that can make them drool?  Similarly, if they have hyperthyroidism that can cause them to drool slightly.   Love the piccie of Blackie, Ginger and Claw-De-Puss all together.   :)

Portugal is such a lovely place.   :)  It sounds idyllic where you are.     :)

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2016, 18:29:27 PM »
They are all gorgeous  :Luv:

However I think you are talking to the wrong person/people because you live somewhere we can only dream about and I would never force a cat to be outside if they didnt want to.

Sounds like Fluffy was an indoor cat who got out by accident or was abandoned because of his health issues.

He will not love you or the others if you force hi outside.

But then I live in a house with a garden not an estate like you  :evillaugh: :evillaugh:

Offline Furryhead

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How to get a cat to integrate with us and our other cats
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2016, 17:35:35 PM »
Hello fellow cat-lovers.
Before explaining the “issue” upon which we seek advice, I’ll briefly describe our “cat-world”…
My husband and I live on a 5 acre farm in rural Portugal. 5 years ago we acquired 2 cats - Ginger and Blackie - brothers, about 10 years old, from a couple who were returning to England. They were always outdoor only cats but now are “free-range” - there’s a cat-flap for them to go in and out as they please - when we go away for more than a night, we lock them out, a friend comes daily to top up the “dry food”, give some wet food and to check on them, and they have a barn with 2 exits for sleeping. It’s a great place for cats to live - land, undergrowth, live food of many sorts for the picking, breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, supper on demand.
4 years ago we found a kitten mewing on an outside wall - we fed him a little, went away for the weekend and he was still there, so we took him in. Claw Dee Puss by name, he was about 6 weeks old, and of obviously Siamese descent. We’ve must’ve been bad parents since sometimes he just becomes a wild thing - his eyes go red, iZombie style, and he attacks us.
Ginger, sadly, died a few months ago. Blackie is an old cat now - he stopped grooming a year or so ago, he hobbles, he drools constantly but he seems happy enough, eats regularly and this week he even caught himself a baby rabbit!
OK - so the scene is set.
About 4 weeks ago a new cat turned up, noisily at the back door - he was in a very sorry state - one bloody ear, incredibly thin and dirty. We fed him and said that if he was still there the next day we’d take him to the vet.
He was, so we did. The Vet needed a name so we called him Fluffy because, well, he’s very fluffy! The vet estimates him to be 4-5 years old.
He spent around a week all-inclusive at the vets to put on some weight. We thought we could look after him, cone and all, while he built more strength up, so we took him home for one day - that night he slept with us on our bed (sometimes the other cats do, sometimes they don’t). In the morning he was in the cat-bed beside our bed, soaked in his own pee. We took him to the bathroom to give him some “cone-free” time and the place ended up like a scene from Sweeney Todd - every time he shook his head an arch of blood went over the walls.
So we took him back to the Vet and, after another couple of days, the Vet operated on him to remove most of the bleeding ear - it was, apparently, a tumour. We had him castrated at the same time.
After a few days recovery at the Vet, and another week at home (with cone), he had his stitches out and came home permanently - cone-free. The first few days he spent separated from the other cats, who didn’t seem to know he was there.
So - here are our confusions…
Once you manage to pick Fluffy up, he becomes most compliant - he purrs - he loves it - he particularly loves to have his tummy tickled, as well as the classic head spots. But he was spending ALL the time under our bed, coming out only for food and water and to use the litter tray (thankfully). So we’ve taken to forcibly taking him outside and sitting with him for a couple of hours, in a shady spot - he simply curls up in the spot you put him down. He quite happily sleeps, or purrs, or has his tummy tickled. He doesn’t make any attempt to run away. But we have to actually catch him in order to do this - we don’t understand why, when he seems to enjoy this time with us, he fights so hard to avoid it. When we leave him outside on his own he makes his way back into the house pretty smartly although last night he didn’t and we couldn’t find him but he was under our bed again by morning.
A few times he’s been on my lap when Claw Dee Puss has strolled by - once they even rubbed noses (although Fluffy was the rub-ee, rather than the rub-er) - after which Claw Dee Puss hissed and growled - Fluffy just yawned and put his head down again. There are no longer any barriers between any of our cats - Claw Dee Puss only cares if Fluffy is with us, which he rarely is, and even then he doesn’t seem to mind much, aside from hissing and growling. Blackie has hissed at him too (and Blackie hasn’t said anything for years), but Blackie doesn’t care as long as you stay out of his way.
That’s the situation today - we need, somehow, to bring this cat out of his shell - he needs to go outside on his own once in a while - he needs to stop fearing us - he needs to meet the other cats properly - we need to be able to leave him outside, for a few days, while we go away. Is it just a matter of time, and if so how long?
He’s a lovely cat, but we just can’t fathom what’s going on in his head, or what we should, or should not, be doing.

Of course, I have thousands of pictures, but these are the guys I’m talking about…

 


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