Hi undecided. It can be really difficult when you share your life with someone who is passionate about cats, and you don't feel quite the same way. I can fully understand your feelings about damage and destruction - we took on two semi feral kittens last year, who have virtually shredded our things throughout the house.
However, we've had cats for over 30 years and it's the first time we've had two destructive ones.
And there are measures which you can take to minimize the likelihood of that happening. Extra scratching posts, throws etc, using plug in pheromone diffusers, or calming sprays which aren't harmful to the cat or cats. A lot will depend on the behaviour of the cat or cats you take on. You're more likely to be able to gauge the nature of the cat if you get one that isn't an out and out kitten. You can pick out one - or two - chilled out cats. A bonded pair are less likely to be hard to integrate with your existing cat.
Much depends too on your relationship with your wife. I would be heartbroken if my hubby declared we wouldn't get any more cats if anything happened to the ones we have now. We've lost four in as many years, and admittedly I felt a bit rushed into getting two more, but it was the best thing my OH could've done, to be honest. He would've found it far harder to live with me, if I hadn't had the focus the new cat companions gave us both.
If material things have value to you, then it's right that you should be able to talk things over and consider your options - after all, sofas and curtains aren't cheap to replace, and you have a right to be able to voice your worries. A compromise may be the way forward.
I'd accept the inevitable, fill your wife's heart with happiness, buy throws for the new sofa, put the new curtains away and replace them with elderly shabby ones, while your new cat/s acclimatize themselves, and sit back to see how much joy your selflessness brings into the world of others.
Perhaps buy yourself a shed. I've seen some amazing things done with sheds.
