Topic: time to say goodbye to my old friend?? (Read 33820 times)

Tan · « **Reply #101 on:** June 18, 2015, 12:25:53 PM »

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #100 on:** May 06, 2015, 19:56:53 PM »

Thanks for sharing that Joeys. It's good that humorous things are helping you to smile again.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #99 on:** May 06, 2015, 19:46:09 PM »

You really must start a new thread to leave this one for Joey!

Sorry to hear about your grandad and sadly too manybthink like him

joeys · « **Reply #98 on:** May 06, 2015, 19:28:30 PM »

Hello friends. Been a while since I came on here, days/weeks/months seem to fly by. Since we last spoke, my dad passed away, so there has been some cruel blows. He was a proper old timer, hard grafting bloke who loved his pint of guiness, loved his grandkids but couldn't understand why we had such attachments to our pets. He certainly thought we were mad when we cried over losing Joey and Hobs. But I would like to share with you a story he told my daughter a few weeks after Joey had died, to cheer her up. When he was a wee boy, he said he knew an old man who adored his cat, this cat was treated to only the best meat while the old man didn't spoil himself with fancy foods. His cat was everything. My dad says he remembered the old man with tears in his eyes one day, he had found his cat dead, and carefully laid him to rest in a grave he had dug. The man was heartbroken, my dad off course couldn't understand why would you be upset 'sure its only a cat'. But that evening, when the old man sat infront of his hearth, in strolled his cat, alive and well. Only a few months ago my dad sat round my table crying with laughter that the old man had buried someones elses cat. His crazy sense of humour. Joey is still on my mind of course, and Hobs, even today when I pulled up on the street our other cat came walking towards me and my first reacton was 'oh look at our Joe, comin to meet me'. Then it clicks that he isn't here. I have rambled enough for this evening, I hope you are all keeping ok everyone. xxxx

sheilarose · « **Reply #97 on:** January 26, 2015, 16:17:38 PM »

Hey Joeys, you know that destiny cares for us all, and there is a reason for everything? I'm sure little Robin was sent to help repair the terrible pain you and your family have been through, and even if she can't stay forever she has shown you that there is room in your hearts for another needy soul.

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #96 on:** January 20, 2015, 16:14:20 PM »

Quote from: Gill (sneakiefeline) on January 20, 2015, 15:00:06 PM

Thats wonderful and you need to start a new thread and show us Robin

I am shure Joey told her wher to come

Couldn't agree more.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #95 on:** January 20, 2015, 15:00:06 PM »

Thats wonderful and you need to start a new thread and show us Robin

I am shure Joey told her wher to come

joeys · « **Reply #94 on:** January 20, 2015, 12:17:45 PM »

Hello everyone. I hope this finds you all keeping well. I thought I would pop in to say hello and tell you some news. After my gorgeous Joey left, my daughter kept asking for another cat. I said yes, then felt 'no don't, just wait'. I cant describe why, but I told my daughter 'hold on, because I feel a cat will find us and adopt us'. Sure enough, a week or so later, she walks in with tears in her eyes holding such a pretty wee cat. Where on earth this cat came from, I don't know, we live in the middle of nowhere, very few houses around and they don't own cats. Plus she isn't wild or fearful, she is extremely friendly and a happy little soul. I feel she may have been dumped. And of course, she hasn't left. :-) . And we have named her Robin, just like the friendly wee robin that popped in here after Joey had passed. But of course, the hole in my heart from our boys passing is still very raw, I try my best not to think about him. But its impossible as I still see flashes of him in my mind, and hear his croaky meow. I dream of him all the time, and those dreams are fab, he cuddles on my chest as always. I would do anything to have him back.

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #93 on:** December 12, 2014, 20:01:20 PM »

Poignant poem.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #92 on:** December 12, 2014, 19:44:10 PM »

Lovely poem and so many out there.

No its not strange that things are all over the place and the time of year makes it harder.

I am sure you are trying to block it out but yes it will come back often I am sure

joeys · « **Reply #91 on:** December 12, 2014, 17:56:40 PM »

To my dearest friend.
I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying you found it hard to sleep.
I spoke to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today; your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you; I smiled and said, "it's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to me.

Author Unknown

joeys · « **Reply #90 on:** December 12, 2014, 17:55:33 PM »

Thankyou Gill, Jiji and Sue. I read choosing tears, then I read it again to my daughter, and she took great comfort in the 'sending a rainbow' line, as we had a beautiful rainbow here the day after our dear Joeys passing. I have also looked up the Ralph site and Blue Cross too. Things have been rather chaotic here, I guess like everywhere else too, but its good as it keep ours minds occupied. Although I cant help but think that I'm avoiding thinking about Joey which could lead to someday just breaking down, does that make sense. I received a beautiful card in the post from the vet, which was of course comforting but also made us cry. Its all topsy turvy, and still pretty much disbelief that our two oldest gentlecats have left us in a short space of time. I have a poem that was sent to me and would like to share it with you if I can manage to copy it properly. xxx

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #89 on:** December 09, 2014, 14:06:28 PM »

You may finf that You have chosen tears might also help your daughter, but i dont know the level of understanding of the written word a 9yr old has so may need a bit of help.

also if you do a web search for the stages of grief this will help too.

i am firmly convinced that writing down your thoughts, memories of joey helpful for you and daughter, time and date each piece of prose or poem and keep in a notebook for the future. dont force what you write just let all emotion flow feely and both do individually and keep private unless tou want to share with each other.

very sadly this is all part of lifes lesson for your daughter and this is what You have chosen tears is about in a beatiful way.

blue cross also have a telephone councelling service for those who are having trouble dealing with the loss of their pets.

Jiji · « **Reply #88 on:** December 09, 2014, 13:00:28 PM »

The Ralph site also has some information and useful links to help children with the loss of pets http://www.theralphsite.com/index.php?idPage=18

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #87 on:** December 09, 2014, 11:35:15 AM »

Here you go Joeys.

http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,45613.msg817036.html#msg817036

The hardest lesson for any of us to learn, young or old, is that letting go is often the greatest act of love we can ever bestow. Don't blame yourself.

joeys · « **Reply #86 on:** December 09, 2014, 11:31:21 AM »

have just ordered goodbye mog, cried just reading the reviews. beautiful.xx

joeys · « **Reply #85 on:** December 09, 2014, 11:06:37 AM »

many thanks sue, frances and caffiend. I don't know where to find Gills post on choosing tears? and most certainly will look for that book goodbye mog. and have just loaded up the blue cross leaflet, so thanks again for your help all. its a bitter stormy day out there, but i know joey and hobbs are safe. yes my lass is taking it badly, she is a huge animal lover, any type of creature big or small, but joey was also her bestest pal. she did mutter a few times 'i should have stopped you mummy, we could've held on to him if i hadve been brave and stopped you'. whish of course makes me feel worse that deep down she blames me. :-(

caffiend · « **Reply #84 on:** December 08, 2014, 14:19:23 PM »

Depending on the age, "Goodbye Mog" is wonderful. Don't read it in the bookshop though (floods of tears ...)

Frances · « **Reply #83 on:** December 08, 2014, 14:16:44 PM »

Blue Cross have an online leaflet about helping children deal with the loss of a pet which you might find helpful: http://www.bluecross.org.uk/files/Children%20and%20pet%20loss.pdf.

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #82 on:** December 08, 2014, 13:16:18 PM »

I firmly do believe in the dream you had. There are more things in Heav'n and earth Horatio, and all that. It was his way of letting you know that he's okay.

Am so sorry your little girl is being so badly affected. It's incredibly hard even as an adult to get your head around the pain of loss. Whilst some children recover fairly quickly from the death of a loved one and can move on, not all children are the same. I know I was never able to let it go that easily, whether it was one of my pigeons, a guinea pig or a beloved dog, I always fell hard any kind of animal suffering always impacted on me in a big way.

It was one of the very few things that would reduce me to tears, and I was a tough little kid on the whole.

(Not now though - now, I cry at the drop of a hanky - little old man shopping alone? Yep, I snivel. Where's his little old lady? Lovely piece of classical Music such as Albinoni's Adagio? Yep, I'm off again. The snippet Gill posted about choosing tears - open the floodgates and stand well back.....

joeys · « **Reply #81 on:** December 08, 2014, 12:01:59 PM »

thankyou sue, gill, Sheila and soufflé. that horrible feeling in the pit of my tummy is still there, just as cruel as it was on the day we said goodbye. I know it will ease in time. I miss Hobbs terribly too, but his passing didn't hit as much as Joeys. Hobbs went so suddenly, and I guess I then made a mental block as all attention then shifted onto Joey. Bless them both,, they are side by side under the apple trees. I am pleased you all seem to agree on the dream, and I do believe it was his goodbye. My 9 year old lass is still suffering lots, not sleeping great, and my 5 yr old son has started asking little questions on death since Joey passed on. I will take a peek at what you mentioned, the 'choosing tears' section. XX

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #80 on:** December 08, 2014, 07:15:50 AM »

I am so sorry to learn that Joey has gone, but am firmly of the mind you gave him the greatest gift of all, and showed immense courage in doing so. It's one of the hardest decision any of us face. Gill posted a reminder elsewhere on the forum about "choosing tears." A very positive message that when we open our heart to love, it's inevitable we open our hearts to tears too, but the joy of the love is what we should treasure.

I'm another one who believes (rightly or wrongly) that I've heard, felt or seen some of my beloved companions over the years, after they've ceased to share our physical space. It makes perfect sense, when you share with us that you felt his smile. He is yuong and happy again. He still loves you.

(And cats can smile - somewhere, I've posted piccies of two smiling cats on Purrs, and know others have too

)

My thoughts are with you and your family, and with Hobbs amd with Joey.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #79 on:** December 07, 2014, 23:42:39 PM »

Lovely dream and a great sign that he is watching over you

sheilarose · « **Reply #78 on:** December 07, 2014, 22:47:30 PM »

Wonderful.

souffle · « **Reply #77 on:** December 07, 2014, 22:11:17 PM »

I am glad your dreams are becoming happy. I'm sure Joey and hobbs have a little soothing paw in this. I am sure they visit to ensure all is well before they finally move over to the bridge. You hear their whispers and feel their presence a lot at first. I used to come in and see our Kennedy in his nest in the bushes often - a fleeting glance of ginger fur as he went. My dogs continued to make car journeys with me - a glance in the mirror would see them there. A trick of the mind maybe I don't know but to me it was very real and soothing to feel them there x I am sending my wishes and healing thoughts to you and your family in your time of loss x

joeys · « **Reply #76 on:** December 07, 2014, 21:05:36 PM »

thank u everyone, and I see I'm not the only one who has kept little things belonging to our babies. I still feel empty, a horrible gut feeling, every time I think of the gorgeous dude. But I had a beautiful amazing dream last night, Joey came out from under my daughters cot, a much much younger joey, not as huge as he was in recent years, but still him, looking amazing as always. He purred and cuddled and I felt so delighted to see this healthy boy I remembered. He then walked off, I didn't chase after him or call him, as I knew he had to go. I know cats cant smile, but I felt his smile, if that makes sense. I hope so much this was him calling in to say 'look at me! look at how young I am!' . xx

Tigerlily (Allison) · « **Reply #75 on:** December 05, 2014, 20:54:18 PM »

So sorry for your loss Joeys

Sleep peacefully Joey

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #74 on:** December 05, 2014, 18:19:52 PM »

I have all my Bridge cats things in boxes could never bear to get rid of them and always take a clipping of fur. I also did not want the other cats to use them!

I also wrote a lot after they had passed and also have all of that.

The grief is so overwhelming at the beginning writing stuff down was only way I could deal with it. I also Emailed a grief counsellor at Blue Cross cos couldnt talk on the phone after losing my first cat Kocka.

You are so in my thoughts Joeys

sheilarose · « **Reply #73 on:** December 05, 2014, 17:32:23 PM »

I've left Beau's blanket pile undisturbed since he went to the Bridge, can't bring myself to move/wash/disturb them. I will get around to it I'm sure, as the other cats have now started parking themselves there so as I can see them adapting to the situation, so shall I. But not now, not yet...

I'm glad you have so much support from your family and friends, as Gill says you need to allow the grief to flow through you and it sounds like you are doing things exactly right.

joeys · « **Reply #72 on:** December 05, 2014, 16:14:00 PM »

Carol thank you so much, I am being swamped with calls and texts and emails, everyone adored that guy. Gill thank u for moving Joey into this beautiful bridge. I am struggling hugely, keep wrapping my arms round my chest where he would lie and be carried about, wishing to feel his heart beating on my chest and fluff in my face. I have his fur on my cardi from yesterday, have put the cardi away and wont wear it again. Its going to be a case of one day at a time. xxx

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #71 on:** December 05, 2014, 13:50:31 PM »

Wow Joey leant rainbow making fast

Try not to blank things out as you need to go through the grieving process

CarolM (Wendolene) · « **Reply #70 on:** December 05, 2014, 13:38:44 PM »

I was thinking of you and your family and Joey this morning when suddenly it started to rain and a lovely rainbow appeared.

joeys · « **Reply #69 on:** December 05, 2014, 13:33:33 PM »

Thank you. My kids stayed home today, so we have all kept each other company. I also had a robin hop into the kitchen this morning, fluttering about, and a rainbow outside. I am more raw today than yesterday but blanking it out as much as I can. I hope Joey is enjoying the company of all your dearly departed furbabies. xxxxx

joeys · « **Reply #68 on:** December 05, 2014, 13:30:12 PM »

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #67 on:** December 05, 2014, 11:33:43 AM »

Joey is now moving to Rainbow Bridge

sheilarose · « **Reply #66 on:** December 04, 2014, 22:58:45 PM »

Yes, involuntary muscle movements can occur for several hours as the body settles. You may also see his eyes remain open, unseeing but still seemingly alive.

The stroke you got from Joey? That one you can take as a personal Thank You from your pal.

They are there, in the background, making sure you're OK. You may experience them both again in the coming days

Wait for the Rainbow. Joey will send you one soon.

Cry away.

Sheila (alias Tuftyclub)

Liz · « **Reply #65 on:** December 04, 2014, 22:50:30 PM »

Sorry for your loss there will be tears and a bucket load of them but as time passes there will be laughter with the tears and they fact they were loved and wanted and will be missed for ever makes them very lucky indeed

I speak from a very sad year here having lost 6 to various things but all are now on my study wall where I talk to them all daily doing grit boxes and feeding the others makes me feel they are still with us

joeys · « **Reply #64 on:** December 04, 2014, 22:29:20 PM »

thanks Gill. I guess my beautiful boy can now be moved to Rainbow Bridge, if you can help please? I am not sure how it works. Again, everyone, what diamonds you all are, and how blessed I am to find this place where I can cry and know that behind this laptop screen, there are people who understand. xxx

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #63 on:** December 04, 2014, 22:17:55 PM »

Yes I think this can happen cos am sure that Ducha moved slightly and his body released urine on the journey home.

I would take as a message to you saying thank you for all your love and care

joeys · « **Reply #62 on:** December 04, 2014, 22:07:49 PM »

thank u gill and tufty. I want to ask, please don't think I am crazy, but when we brought joey home and made him comfortable , letting the children say goodbye, his front paw moved twice. is this normal? I am taking comfort in this as when he moved it, it stroked off my hand.

Author Topic: time to say goodbye to my old friend?? (Read 33820 times)