Thanks everyone.
I saw our regular vet today, unrelated matters with Sly, but Neil was very sad and really shocked that Beau had deteriorated so quickly. I welled up a little but feel now I have this milestone under my belt ( I knew I'd be a mess when I next saw Neil, after all it was Beau who brought us to Neil all those years ago) I can move on.
I'm glad I didn't see Neil for Beau's final appointment, it would have been too much for me as Neil has become a very big part of our lives and I would have been reminded of those last sad moments each time I saw him, so it's best this way.
We talked about how the dynamic has changed since his passing, apparently the presence of a sick cat often causes unrest and stress amongst other household pets and the subsequent relaxation in our household does bear this theory out.
There's still a hole in my heart, I think there always will be, but I can look at his photos, remember his happy Hello howls whenever he came barrelling through the cat flap, how he loved me to sing to him as he lay in my arms, his cleverness at being able to open the kitchen cupboards by grabbing the handle between his front paws and shuffling backwards, his good manners as he sat on his chair at the kitchen table during dinner, never stealing our food but waiting patiently for his treat, his insistence on sleeping on my pillow for so many years, so close I could feel his breath in my face and hear his gentle purr. This photo is him sound asleep on my pillow, relaxed and happy, and how I will remember him.
Miss you always, Beau. goodnight sweet boy.
