timid cat and new kitten

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

Personally I think it's best to let em sort it out for themselves ... as long as there is no fighting, and as long as both can escape from the other if necessary they'll soon sort it out.

[Nura]

hey yeah today was a minor breakthrough Nura came in for lunch and sat with me for a bit, then since was nice day I sat outside with her, shes still obviously stressed out but hopefully she will get the message shes missed , I do miss her on my lap, the little one still seems fascinated by Nura and that means got to keep her away, its tough for me to split them up as my house is so small, just got to keep making a fuss of the oldster and making sure her food dish is topped up and try keep the little one from grazing in it.

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

This lady speaks a lot of sense, and you may find her thoughts helpful:

http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/when-cat-and-kitten-fight/5442

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

The chances are that when the weather becomes colder, Nura will remember onw hich side her bread is buttered, and will return to the warmth and comfort of her own home, but fully understand your distress and concerns.

As I say, this time last year, we lost one of our cats to a road accident.  We took on another - funnily enough, he is a mini maine coon (not pedigree but clearly his ancestry has outed itself in full, save for the fact he's quite small lol!) and our Tinks did very much the same as your Nura. 

We set up the spare bedroom as Moray's den, and it was his "time out" zone.   We'd pop him in there in the evening after he'd been fed and played with in vigorous games of Flying Frenzy and chase, and then Tinks had his quiet time, so when he came in, he would find the house peaceful, and he got lots of fuss and attention.  OH and I would take it in turns to spend time with Tinks and time with the kitten, which even extended to who spent the night with him in the spare room.  When Tinks was out, Moray came out and got his time in the rest of the home.  It wasnt too long before Tinks could be found lurking outside the spare bedroom door, sniffing and watching the shadows under the door. 

His curiousity eventually got the better of him, and he wanted to see the kitten inside the room.  he still didnt like him much, but he wouldnt immediately run away.  Moray was, thankfully, very patient, and would extend an inviotation to play to his big brother, who - more oftent han not - would run off and watch from a distance.  Then again, curiousity got the better of him, and after a while, he wanted to join in the fun, and would have a ilttle play - half-hearted at first, but then more daring.  It took around three weeks before they ended up at ease, and it was a testing three weeks - many on here can tell you how many times I ended up either in tears or in a battle with my OH, who felt initially the better course of action was to return Moray to the shelter.

I'm very glad we didn't, and the patience paid off in the end. 

I hope that Nura and Zenobia will also settle given time, and using some of the hints and tips you can garner here and there.

We also plugged in two Pet remedy diffusers (or feliway if you can't get them) - one upstairs and one downstairs, and I certainly think they helped. 

[Nura]

I have had zenobia 10 days and thankfully weathers been pretty good so nura spending her days outside hasn't been a strain, she mostly spends time outside anyway but when winter closes in she goes from a visitor to a lap cat and I do love her draped over my lap making noises back to me when I babble nonsense to her  , zenobia is a maine coon and was told shed be more like a dog follow me around and take position nearby but she seems to be very confidant and very much a lap kitten she grooms me and that's a new one but again that could be a problem if two cats want to take position on my lap lol.

[Liz]

One thing I do is shut the 3 kittens I have currently down for an hour or so at feeding time with their dinner to let my adults get some peace and their dinner

My adults are tolerant but will bop a kitten as Sherlock found out last night when playing with Minstrel bengally kitten who is 11 months old - she hooked him in the eye and he was at the vets this morning

You have to give the adults some quality time and the kittens get grounded for a couple of hours doesn't do them any harm and the adults come first this helps establish the pecking order - even my dogs know cats first then doggies!!!

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

And here's another

http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,44643.msg801318.html#msg801318

If you read through you'll find quite a lot of helpful tps and advice, and different experiences Purrs members have had in trying to successfully integrate their cats.

It ay take a little longer when you have a cat who is set in his or her ways and is suddenly confronted by what she can only think of as a usurper, but with patience and a lot of effort and hard work, it can turn out very well. 

Keep us posted on progress, and any questions you might have, ask away - there's always someone around who will try to help.

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

Here's one of them.

http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,4789.0.html

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

How long have you had Zenobia?  I think you said she was around 8 weeks old, so I suspect that the introductions havent been taking place for very long.

It's natural that an older cat, who has been a single cat for a while will get used to having things her own way, and the way that she likes them.  It'll be quite a big deal for her to get used to any changes in that regard, and I imagine the energy and playfulness of a kitten will be too awful for her to contemplate right now.

Conversely, I suspect Zenobia will be feeling the want for her littermates and her Mum, and will be keen to make friends with Nura (kittens usually are, and they dont take unkindly to repeated rebuffs).

There are some very good threads omn Purrs about introducing new cats and kittens to each other, and one of the key elements is to give them time to get used to each other, and to perhaps take introductions back to basics - set up a base camp for you kitten, concentrate on scent swapping and site swapping, and using food and playtime as treats to engage both cats.

We experienecd something very similar many years ago when we had a 4 year old cat and a kitten, and the older cat began staying out and wouldnt come in.  it did resolve itself in time, but patience was the key.  We then did a similar thing all over again almost a year to the day last year (and panicked like mad!).  Happily, that too resolved itself.

Don't despair, and don't give up hope.  There are lots of thinsg you can try.  let me see if I can find the links to threads which will help.   

 

[Nura]

My older cat Nura isn't taking to the new kitten im hoping that things will settle and they will both become friends or at least tolerate one another, the problem for me is the old cats doing what it does when folk enter the house she is going outside, begging me to let her out.
Nura is always an outdoors cat but when its cold or wet or she just wants to spend some time she climbs into my lap and chills out and for last 9 or ten days she hasn't rewally spent any time in side at all just quick visits for food, im getting stressed out and the kitten isn't helping at all she tries to run over to nura and crowds up to her if I lock her in the other room she cries so loud her presence is felt even when shes not visible. any advice be welcome.