Bailey has started howling in the night

[Nicola (RockysMum)]

My darling Chivvy used to like to sleep on my pillow. I had to stop it because I was suffering badly with neck pain as a result. I miss him so much now, I would give anything to have him on my pillow again, no matter how much pain it caused 

Same with me, Ducha used to lie on top of my head and play in my hair turning on his happy purr. Had to stop him cos my head was hurting so bad and so wish I hadnt cos he stopped purring and I lost him last Aug 

Isn't it funny how when they're gone, you miss all the little things they did to drive you crazy. I'd give anything for Jake to be covering my arms in tiny puncture woulds with his constant pawing me for attention 

Bailey decided last night that he wanted to sleep by my side with my arm around him  Although, God forbid that I change position in my sleep. He was very displeased with any movement that disturbed his slumber. Of course, he kindly let me know this by trying to pull my arm back into position with his paw and meowing at me if I moved 
My OH was rather put out by this as if he tries to encroach on my side of the bed when I'm sleeping he gets a rather more grumpy reaction

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

My darling Chivvy used to like to sleep on my pillow. I had to stop it because I was suffering badly with neck pain as a result. I miss him so much now, I would give anything to have him on my pillow again, no matter how much pain it caused 

Same with me, Ducha used to lie on top of my head and play in my hair turning on his happy purr. Had to stop him cos my head was hurting so bad and so wish I hadnt cos he stopped purring and I lost him last Aug 

[Lyn (Slugsta)]

My darling Chivvy used to like to sleep on my pillow. I had to stop it because I was suffering badly with neck pain as a result. I miss him so much now, I would give anything to have him on my pillow again, no matter how much pain it caused 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

so pleased he is coming to you for love 

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

I love cats who sleep on your head.   

Me too  Jake always did it, but this is the first time Bailey ever has

Aw, that's even more lovely.     Both Mac and Ross did it, and Moray ocasionally does (but only on his Daddy's pillow)

It's lovely that he's seeking mutual comfort with you.  Beautiful Bailey.   

[Nicola (RockysMum)]

I love cats who sleep on your head.   

Me too  Jake always did it, but this is the first time Bailey ever has

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

I love cats who sleep on your head.   

[Nicola (RockysMum)]

Hi Sue,

Bailey is actually a HyperT cat but he had his last blood test last week and his levels were fine. He was a bit more settled last night. And by settled I mean he spent most of the night asleep on my head, pillow hogging 

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

Am so sorry that Bailey's feeling the loss so bad too. 

I know how it is - we lost one of ours in September, and it's so raw.     That expectation of seeing them, and then the bleak realisation they aren't with you, and wont be with you is one of the hardest things to handle.

Given that Bailey's 13 , it may also be worth asking your vet to check him  for signs of hyperthyroidism, as yowling can be induced by HyperT, and stress can make it worse.

Just keep an eye on him and see if you notice any changes such as drinking more water, eating more often, "neediness" and restlessness or pacing.  Hyper-T can be treated, but if it isn't picked up on, it can cause kidney problems.
Sending a gentle ear rub for Bailey, and a hug for you. 

[CatGirl]

I know what you mean by a gap in your home,i jsut had my boy put to sleep on Tuesday afternoon,and i keep looking for him.I have 2 females,and one of them came onto to bed yesterday to keep me company-about mid day,cos i was crying,and didn't know what to do with myself.I had him for over 18 years,since he was 3 months old,he was a rescue,as are the girls.x

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Poor boy he is really suffering 

[Nicola (RockysMum)]

Poor Bailey. I really felt for him when I came home today. I was tripping over him as I tried to get in the door. He was so pleased to see me. He's always been a lap cat, but he's incredibly clingy just now and wants me to play with him all the time. Needless to say, I've spent most of the evening throwing his folded up crisp bag for him and trailing a mouse around for him to chase  I contemplated tying the mouse to my ankle so i could make dinner 

It makes sense, he may have spent most of his time annoying Jake and picking on him, but he's always had him here for company. He must be so lonely in the daytime. I had noticed a shift in their relationship in the week before jake passed, bailey became very gentle and quiet around him and at one point, he actually groomed one of jakes paws when he was sleeping 

I was also thinking earlier about how he used to wait in the garden when jake was off exploring. He spent hours lying at the gate peering under it waiting for jake to come home - usually so he could swipe at him, but he must wonder where he's gone.
Seems it's not just me who feels there's a huge gap in our home at the moment.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

He is definately grieving and it can gto on for a lomg time poor boy 

He needs company when his heart is hurting, strokes and cuddles if he will allow.

I have always brought the bodies of my cats home so the others could try and understand. mostly they ignored and although the birman brothers were tollerated Misa was affected by them going to the Bridge and moped around for ages

[Nicola (RockysMum)]

Thanks Souffle. It's very strange as our house is open plan so there's no barriers to him coming upstairs into the bedroom. Yet he stays downstairs and cries.

When Jake was ill for a couple of weeks before he passed, Bailey stopped coming into the bedroom, so that might be why. It's almost like he knew Jake needed the peace and quiet. He would come and visit briefly but that was all. That would never have happened previously as they both loved sprawling on the kingsize bed!

He has taken to sleeping in an igloo bed that was Jakes instead of his usual favourite, he was in it yesterday when I left for work and didn't seem to have left it all day. He's never shown an interest in it before. Although he only does that when my lap isn't available 

They're such complex little creatures aren't they? I really think he's grieving in his own way, i have wondered if he's sleeping in Jakes bed because it must still be covered in Jakes scent... I'll just keep showering him with attention and cuddles and hopefully it'll pass. We're keeping each other going at the moment 

Feliway is probably a good idea too, thanks, I'll pick some up.

[souffle]

I think you are right that is is missing his companion. He likely just doesn't understand where he has gone and perhaps they did play at night. It is heartbreaking to see animals grieve but I am sure they do
Our Kennedy was very out of sorts when Cidie died. Like yours they never appeared that close however I think the bond was stronger than we realised. Kennedy would sit in the drive bushes where she used to sit and made a little nest there almost like he was waiting for her...or maybe her spirit did visit him sometimes I don't know.
I can't suggest anything except maybe letting him sleep in with you or some animals gain comfort from a heat pad or even a furry bed to sleep in or a toy to rest against? You could try some feliway?
I hope he settles and accepts soon xx

[Nicola (RockysMum)]

My boy Jake went to the bridge just over a week ago and since then my other boy Bailey has been howling in the night. He’s never done this before and I’m wondering if it’s related to Jake being gone.

It’s strange though, because he and Jake tolerated each other but they were certainly far from being buddies. Bailey also bullied Jake every chance he got.

But this has happened every night since, usually around 4am.  He sits in the middle of our living room making that deafening, heartbreaking caterwauling sound until one of us gets up and goes downstairs to see him. Poor wee mite. We’ve tried getting him to settle in the room with us but he doesn’t stay long.

This morning at 5am, I staggered downstairs half asleep to find him sitting with a folded up crisp packet between his paws howling like a banshee (he likes to play fetch with them)
I’m just wondering if Bailey is missing the company in the night. Perhaps him and jake were closer than they seemed?

They both usually slept downstairs together, until recently when Jake took to sleeping beside me when he got ill. Bailey is 13 and has never been the only cat in the house. He's also started doing it if he comes home and no-one is downstairs, it's almost like he panics if someone isn't in the room with him.

Anyone else experienced this? Any ideas?