Very timid cat

[Kay and Penny]

I've had Tiffany 11 years, and she never sits on my lap - probably just as well as she's over 6 kg - she isn't that bothered about strokes either, but she does love to walk to and fro in front of me, rubbing herself against me and purring very loudly - and purrs non stop on my bed without touching me or being touched

a bit of a nuisance when I'm at the PC, and she walks to and fro over the keyboard - but it is her way of showing affection, and she has lots of it to give in her own way   

[Liz]

A laser pen is a very good toy to use I live with a motley band of ferals from nice to nasty, some domestics and my pedigrees, 2 Ragdolls, a Barmy Bengal and an NFC oh and their pets our 3 Border Collies

I find that my ferals love the laser pen even the really nasty ones and the nervous ones like the freestanding sort and it means we can all play with the red dot - the dogs love it to  but no human touching involved and they come right up to my feet when I shine the red dot

Some cats are just naturally nervous a lot of mine have had harrowing lives before coming to me and in some cases it has taken years to get them to stay in the same room as me using treats and nice things like chicken, smoked salmon, prawns etc that now most stay in the room with me and some are even very brave and can do visitors one at a time

All we can do is love them for who they are and allow them to be all they can be

[Andy s]

I bought the flying frenzy and she was scared of it at first, now she had got used to it only outside though if I try and play with her with it inside she runs of scared, the only thing she likes to play with it an old shoe lace she can't get enough of it. I give her treats the lot, when she was a kitten she did come to me and she used to sit on my should strange I know now if I pick her up and put her on my lap she just jumps of, she gets loads of love and she does like being stroked now and again bit lets me know when she had had enough hopefully like you said she will change as she gets a little bit older

[Mymblesdaughter]

Basically cats have their characters like people and it's not easy to change them. I got mine with their mum at 3 weeks old and they have been treated exactly the same picked up lots and cuddled. One loves being cuddled in fact is a bit of a pain as would basically like to be cuddled 24/7. The other doesn't like being picked up at all, he does like to sit with us and will occasionally sit on our laps. It's surprising that yours doesn't like being with you though. Most of my cats have liked hanging out with me/us even if they didn't want to be cuddled. Mine are both really nervous as well they hide as soon as they hear the door bell. I sometimes think how did I end up with such badly adjusted cats when I thought I did everything right. 

One thing I have found though is that cats tend to get friendlier as they get older, so hopefully you will find that with yours.

Do you play with her, give her dreamies etc? I find that helps with the bonding. As Gill says try getting a flying frenzy cat toy from the Purrs shop, at least you will be able to spend time with your cat playing. I haven't met a cat yet that can resist the da bird or flying frenzy.   

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

She sounds like Lupin who doesnt like being stroked unless he wants something and rubs round legs and head butts for the same reason.

Then there is Sasa the semi feral who has taken nearly 8 years to allow strokes.

Misa is scared of people except me.

I think you have to accept her for how she wants to be.

A toy on a string like da bird may help but mine will play for a very limited time and then sit there and just watch it.........................sigh

[Andy s]

I have had her from being a kitten, she won't even stay in the same room as me and girlfriend she just runs upstairs

[Rosella moggy]

  to Purrs

She does sound pretty cat like    Is she new to you?

Playing with a cat and using tasty food treats can help interact with a cat but it would help if we knew how long she has lived with you 

[jezebel]

She sounds like a normal cat to me!

Has she always been like this, or has she changed recently?

[Andy s]

Hello everyone

New to the forum thought I would post straight away,
my cat is 4 years old and she is scared of the slightest noise and she is very fussy bout when she comes in from outside and when she likes to be stroked, she won't even sit on my knee or in fact anywhere near me and my girlfriend, it's like we don't exist until she wants something, then she will only walk past and rub up against the furniture. The only time she is very affectionate is first thing in the morning or if she has stayed out all night and wants feeding, my question is does anyone have any ideas on how to change the way she is I.e make her more affectionate with me so she will sit with us so we can love her more and give her more attention