Topic: unexplained aversion to food (Read 65039 times)

CatGirl · « **Reply #390 on:** June 07, 2013, 09:52:54 AM »

Hello again Jeremy,i do agree in some ways with the others but,we know that what ever they are like,they all have their own little ways.Good luck in your search.

Tigerlily (Allison) · « **Reply #389 on:** June 07, 2013, 08:17:42 AM »

I've been thinking about you Jeremy so I'm glad you popped in.

My Simba was such a huge character that when I lost him I knew I would never have another cat like him but his successors, although they have not had his attributes have all had something that have made them unique and just as lovable.

Good luck with your search for a new Snidge and don't forget when you find the perfect one we have to be the first to know

DottyyBB · « **Reply #388 on:** June 07, 2013, 07:07:31 AM »

Hi Jrichemont. So sorry for your loss

. You will never replace the ones you love and lose, but they do live on in others. I have 2 who are models of my previous 2, Dixie and Jasper, even though they were both boys and my Dotty is a girl and Blue a boy. When you get your next little bundle of joy look out for the things they do that mimic what the ones you miss did. My Jasper used to flip the letter box when he wanted to go out and now my Blue does. My Dotty looks at me with those eyes the way my Dixie did. You will see so many ways and mannerisms in your next baby which will soothe you with the fact that Jonah hasn't really left you.....Lots of

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #387 on:** June 07, 2013, 06:53:59 AM »

Jeremy

Each of them have something very special to teach us.

Jonah's legacy is such that you're willing to give another soul a chance to touch your lives, albeit in a different way. Who can know what the next journey will bring? friendship is all about giving the relationship scope to develop, and you already know a great deal about that.

Here's to the next Snidge, and loving the fact that he (or she?) already exists in potentia. That's cosmic, that is

jrichemont · « **Reply #386 on:** June 07, 2013, 02:16:56 AM »

I miss him so much. I have been looking at pictures of me and him and... But we will get a new snidge soon I think. It's hard to remember how much he meant but... Silly me I must be strong. I have been warned that another cat may not be as much of a friend and I suppose that's true. All cats are wonderful ;Jonah was exceptional. *sob*

Tigerlily (Allison) · « **Reply #385 on:** May 17, 2013, 08:19:01 AM »

I hope you and Lynn are enjoying your holiday Jeremy.

You know of course that the bit of fluff was Jonahs way of letting you know he's still around

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #384 on:** May 16, 2013, 16:40:20 PM »

I so agree with Sue

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #383 on:** May 16, 2013, 13:13:35 PM »

Ah, that's such a nice discovery Jeremy. He'd followed you in spirit, as well as in fluff.

And erm - I hate to tell you but there's no such thing as "we both agreed not to....." Not when you're involved with cats. It gets transmuted in the cosmos to re-emerge at a later date as "well, I know we said we wouldn't, but - "

Hoping you're enjoying some sunshine, and some lovely french food and wine.

jrichemont · « **Reply #382 on:** May 16, 2013, 11:24:30 AM »

Hi everyone. We are still on holiday. In fact, we found a little lump of Jonah's fluff at the house; he's never been - south of France is a bit far for a homebody like Jonah was - but it must have attached itself to a shirt or something. It made us wistful rather than tearful so the distance is helping.
We both spend time looking at maine coon breeder websites though, even though we both agreed not to... Oh well.

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #381 on:** May 16, 2013, 08:24:04 AM »

Have been wondering how things were going as well Jeremy.

Tigerlily (Allison) · « **Reply #380 on:** May 16, 2013, 08:05:32 AM »

I've been wondering how you are Jeremy? Hope the pain of losing Jonah is easing a little now

Tigerlily (Allison) · « **Reply #379 on:** April 16, 2013, 07:54:35 AM »

Jeremy, in case you pop in, just wanted to say you and Lynn have been in my thoughts

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #378 on:** April 11, 2013, 07:06:16 AM »

What Sheila said.

sheilarose · « **Reply #377 on:** April 10, 2013, 17:01:05 PM »

Happy Anniversary for yesterday

I've been away for a couple of weeks, missing my crew terribly, and am not surprised in the least to read your perspective is changing. You have the biggest heart and a wonderful affinity and a need to share that love and affection. I'm a great believer in fate, Karma, call it what you will - when the time is right you will know and the cat that finds you will be the luckiest cat in the world.

Meantime, why not enjoy the break?

Be good to yourselves, soak up the love in Jonah's memory. Savour it, build it, take the opportunity to have a guilt free trip to Aus, then when you come home your stores will be overflowing and it will be all the clearer to you what you both want for the rest of your lives.

jrichemont · « **Reply #376 on:** April 10, 2013, 13:28:28 PM »

I think so. I miss him and miss having a cat around but (despite what I said earlier) I don't really feel it's the right time now. It would be desperately unfair to a new kitten to try and 'mould' him to be like Jonah - I hope he is as warm and intelligent of course, but in his own way. I will go into this with both eyes open and let my new cat build his relationship with me. Having said that of course, I'm still me and will treat the new arrival as I treated Jonah - and Noons before him.

I expect that a certain amount of how a cat turns out comes from his environment and the people he lives with and those are the same Jonah had. So I will be trying the new kitten out on the things I am eating, popping him up on my shoulders to ride around, taking him into the bathroom while I have my bath and so on.
So I expect he'll turn out to be different to Jonah but with a core of similarity just because he'll be going into the same environment Jonah did.

Strangely enough, Jonah was never much trouble as a kitten. Lynn warned me to expect kitten chaos as he goes leaping about knocking stuff off and needing to be told not to walk on work surfaces in the kitchen etc but he was never a big one for chaos. He was never a lap cat until later in life either which is odd. He'd happily sit on my shoulders or curl up nearby but actually sitting on my lap had to wait till he was 7 or so. He did scare the crap out of us once by walking round an inch thick ledge outside our flat - which is on the third floor by the way. The ledge does not go all the way round either so once he discovered that he (being too long and, thank goodness, too smart to turn around) had to walk in reverse all the way back until I was able to grab him. He never went near the edge of our roof terrace again after that. Even years later I could pick him up and he'd look over at the road but only from a meter away. Approach the edge closer than that and he'd start to struggle.

One cat in the block did fall and broke its pelvis and legs. She survived and spent the rest of her time hopping around. Jonah would not have though; even when young he'd have been too heavy. Thank goodness he didn't!

Tigerlily (Allison) · « **Reply #375 on:** April 10, 2013, 12:44:44 PM »

I do think it's sensible to wait a while after losing Jonah. He was such a strong character that I think there would always be the danger of wanting the new arrival to be like him. I know with the best intentions it's sometimes hard not to make comparisons.

Having said that Jeremy, after reading all your comments, I'm pretty sure that you and Lynn will know exactly when the time is right.

Kay and Penny · « **Reply #374 on:** April 10, 2013, 11:30:00 AM »

very wise not to rush out and get a new kitten right away, I think - a lively kitten intent on nothing but mischief is such a contrast to a devoted loving companion cat, that there is the danger he will only remind you of what you have lost

but once you have lived with that loss for a while, and become used to being catless, as much as that is ever possible for a cat lover, a new kitten will be welcome on his own terms, for what he is rather than a future Jonah

and I have no doubt you and Lynn will bring him up beautifully, and will get your reward

jrichemont · « **Reply #373 on:** April 10, 2013, 10:56:13 AM »

The current plan is France for two and a half weeks - we have friends there we haven't seen for ages - followed by five weeks in Australia - we have friends there also. And, yes, I do have quite a lot of unused holiday. All I seem to do is work and play with cats. Up until this year anyway. Now all I do is work and deal with distraught people. And, unfortunately, I don't count as one of them; I just have to strong on their behalf.
France will probably happen; Oz? Well, it'd be nice but it's been a long time since we did anything that adventurous so I am not holding my breath. If the year wanders into Autumn and we still haven't been though I will put my paws down and insist on getting a kitten for winter. A duvet needs the weight of a cat on it over winter I feel. Although Jonah was not big on sleeping on the duvet actually; he used it as a path to get to me, burrow underneath (pulling my hair with his teeth if I didn't wake up in a timely fashion) and lie next to me, head under my chin, paws around my neck and back paws in my nether regions which got painful when he had a good stretch I can tell you

or possibly

J

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #372 on:** April 10, 2013, 10:45:56 AM »

No pressure Jeremy (We're an incorrigible lot but you get used to us eventually. We might even grow on you - honest!)

Know exactly what you mean. Unfortunately, the last twice we've acquired a kitten, it just so happened we ended up being on holiday within the first 4 weeks, and it was agony leaving them with our (excellent) pet sitters. We worried we wouldnt be remembered, or that - oh, I don't know - all sorts of stuff, really. We needn't have. They were both fine, and both just as pleased to see us again as we were to see them, but it's not what I'd recommend in terms of getting to know your new companion. You dont want to miss a single day with them really (am still like that now, and Ross is a year old!) [Crikey - actually I was like that with Paddy too, and he was a venerable 20!]

The new kitten will be different, but he will be a blank canvas full of possibilities and potential, and you'll have the pleasure of finding out all about them.

No holiday in a year - you definitely need a break after the traumatic beginning to this year.

Where do you want to go?

jrichemont · « **Reply #371 on:** April 10, 2013, 10:45:45 AM »

Oh we couldn't bear to not have a furry person around the place for long! If it was solely down to me I'd get one right now but I listen to Lynn's voice of reason...

Dawn F · « **Reply #370 on:** April 10, 2013, 10:42:56 AM »

so pleased to hear that! it would be such a shame for such a loving home to be without a feline

jrichemont · « **Reply #369 on:** April 10, 2013, 10:33:39 AM »

We will be getting a new Snidge but want to take some holiday first. A kitten - if we are to have a chance of it turning out as wonderful as Jonah - needs commitment and I will want to be taking a week off work just to be at home with him. And certainly we'd not want to go away and leave him to be looked after by strangers until he was happy and confident in his new home.

I did the same with Jonah; the documentation - yes, we got an owner's guide! - said "never stare at your new kitten; they see it as aggression". Jonah, as you'd expect, felt differently about this. When everything got too much for him as a kitten he'd hide under the bed and refuse to come out. The only way to rescue him (I can't reach that far under the bed) was for me to lie on the floor where he could see my face. I'd stare at him and he'd stare at me, and, after a few minutes he'd make a little chirrup and come marching out, still maintaining eye contact, until he could rub himself against my nose. Then he was happy to be picked up.

The new kitten will be different of course but I need to be there for whatever those differences are and be able to devote time. I've also not had more than a week of for well over a year so really need to take a break first or we lose the chance until the kitten is grown up enough to be left. We have lovely cat-loving neighbours so getting him looked after in his own place is not a problem but still. One thing at a time, eh?

But it will happen and I will post about it when it does....

J

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #368 on:** April 10, 2013, 08:08:31 AM »

Allison asked the question I wanted to, but hadn't the guts to bring up.

Happy Anniversary to you both from me too.

Tigerlily (Allison) · « **Reply #367 on:** April 10, 2013, 08:00:51 AM »

Unfortunately Jeremy those memories will still hit you hard for a while.

Happy anniversary to you both. Did you consider getting yourselves a four-legged anniversary present, or is it still a little too soon?

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #366 on:** April 09, 2013, 15:03:09 PM »

jrichemont · « **Reply #365 on:** April 09, 2013, 12:54:43 PM »

Hi Allison. I am kind of hanging in there although I am not making a good job of it I think. I took the day off yesterday because it was our wedding anniversary - and we did, indeed, have a nice day out - but both of us got home and cried because Jonah wasn't there to share it with us; normally we'd have a little blue bag we'd secrete bits of our lunch in to take back to him. We'd get back and he'd be waiting for us on the doorstep and twirl around when he heard the crinkly sound of the blue bag...

"You don't know what you had till it's gone" has never sounded more true to me.

Tigerlily (Allison) · « **Reply #364 on:** April 07, 2013, 19:39:51 PM »

Jeremy, if you look in, how are you doing?

LouiseJ · « **Reply #363 on:** April 02, 2013, 10:25:53 AM »

I agree with Sue and Jiji. When I lost my beloved Chelsea last year at 18 I felt disloyal even thinking about taking on another cat as she was my world but there was also a massive big load of emptiness at home and so we went for a nose at a couple of the local rescues knowing that we couldn't do anything about it due to the need for a home visit and a holiday which was booked.
When we got back from holiday we were good to go and contacted the rescues to check we'd passed and visited with some trepidation the first free weekend.
I was expecting to come home with a mother and baby from one but there is a lot to say for a cat choosing you and we were chosen by my twin terrors.
I'd get everything in place and go for a visit with an open mind and you will know if you are ready.

Jiji · « **Reply #362 on:** April 02, 2013, 10:18:20 AM »

I agree wholeheartedly with SueP. I am sure Jonah must have helped you through difficult/sad times over the years and now is perhaps the time to allow another feline the opportunity to work their magic and ease some of the grief and pain

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #361 on:** April 02, 2013, 08:09:58 AM »

I dont know if you will feel the same Jeremy, but I often think that getting back on your horse when you've had a bad fall is the best way of dealing with things.

We lost Mac, our last cat, to a road traffic accident last May. It was the day before his first birthday, and it followed the loss of our 20 year old Cat Paddy, and then Tess, our beloved Beardie cross dog. We were absolutely devastated, and I really didn't anticipate getting another cat within any measurable space of time. My OH was equally affected, and as you say - each of us was bound up in our own pain, so it was difficult to offer comfort to each other, although we did try.

Surprisingly, my OH decided within days he needed to take on another cat, as his only way of being able to cope. I wasn't at all sure, and felt somehow it was being disloyal, but in this my OH was absolutely 100% right. It didn't diminish the sense of loss, or the pain we felt at losing Mac, but having another avenue of focus gave us something of a distraction. And such is the way with cats that having Ross helped to give us a reason for getting up - another life to take care of. Very quickly he became part of our family and wound his way deftly into both our hearts.

We still think of Mac, and of Paddy and of Tess and all of the beautiful animal companions who've shared our lives, but less painfully, and we remember the good bits. We look at the photographs and we feel the love as strongly, and it's all been down to Ross, because he gave us back a purpose, and stopped us from looking inwards too much.

Allow the thought to grow on you. Having another cat wouldn't be disloyal to Jonah, if you decided that's what you'd like - cats dont judge us like that, they're far too sensible. What it might do, is give you some joy back, and something to think of in a pleaasurable way - the excitement of getting to know another friend, and showing him or her how much love there is in your home.

After 20 years of having a fully grown cat, we adopted a kitten, and then when we lost Mac, we took the plunge and adopted another kitten, and seeing him come into young adulthood now has been tremendously pleasurable. And when he was an out and out kitten he was so funny. You see their character develop right in front of your eyes, and little personality traits developing into bigger ones - I'd forgotten about those particular delights. What's not to love?

heather sullivan · « **Reply #360 on:** April 02, 2013, 00:09:24 AM »

You are obviously a very caring cat owner, and Jonah had a wonderful life with you. There are so many unwanted unloved cats out there, I am sure it wont be too long before another one is part of your life

. One of my cats is 19 this year, so I know she prob wont be around many more years. I had to have my horse Bert put to sleep last July after a short but serious illness, the vet was booked for the tuesday, but on the monday I knew that he couldn't suffer any longer, his eyes told me he was in pain, and I let him go. These animals leave such a huge big gap in our lives, but I believe we will all be together again one day

Kay and Penny · « **Reply #359 on:** April 01, 2013, 23:27:42 PM »

you'll always have a Jonah-shaped hole in your heart, Jeremy, but the cat-shaped hole can, and hopefully will, find another furry friend to fill it

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #358 on:** April 01, 2013, 22:43:13 PM »

Thats what I had to do Jeremy, and Misa and Sasa arrived one week after Kocka went to the Bridge and when I first went to look, just touching fur made me feel good.

Then it took so long to get Lupin after Napoleon cos just couldnt find a seal point birman except as a kitten and really wanted one about 8 yrs old.

In the end Lupin became available and he was 10 months but just couldnt wait any longer and he needed saving because he hadnt been neutered or ever seen a vet with his owner who had him from about 3 months.

I hope you can find the right kitty as soon as possible

jrichemont · « **Reply #357 on:** April 01, 2013, 21:35:41 PM »

Thanks everyone. I wish I could give you all a hug. I need a new kitty to bond with. Not that Jonah will ever be forgot - I remember each of my kitties forever - but for my own wellbeing.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #356 on:** April 01, 2013, 20:51:26 PM »

Its taken me over a year for things to improve after Napoleon and although I am better than I was I am still suffering from the loss of Ducha last August.

Its the most painful time and like Allison says it can take a long time and each handles it differently

Tigerlily (Allison) · « **Reply #355 on:** April 01, 2013, 19:42:52 PM »

It WILL get better Jeremy. Give it time. It really is still very early days, especially considering the close bond that you and Jonah had

jrichemont · « **Reply #354 on:** April 01, 2013, 18:42:42 PM »

Yes, Jonah was a bath baby! He just wanted to be with me at all times so, when he was a kitten he'd jump onto the flat bit of the bath behind my head and curl up. He tried catching bubbles once but nearly fell in. I could hold him on my chest when in the bath and he'd not panic; I was there so that was on by him. Mostly in later life he liked sleeping on the warm floor. I am in floods of tears writing this; I hope the "it gets easier" part happens soon.
I am also a bit alone:; my father who loved him is gone, my mother is grieving for her husband and my wife is dealing with her own issues with Jonah. I just miss him. Every minute of every day. Sniff....

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #353 on:** March 30, 2013, 06:50:25 AM »

Yes, realisation ambushes you at the least expected moments.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #352 on:** March 30, 2013, 02:27:03 AM »

jrichemont · « **Reply #351 on:** March 30, 2013, 00:03:01 AM »

Thank you catgirl. We do indeed have wonderful memories of Mr snidge. I miss him every moment and find myself saying "where's that snidge" on my way home from work just as I have for years before remembering he's gone forever. I just cry all the time - he meant so much to me...

Author Topic: unexplained aversion to food (Read 65039 times)