are they fighting or just settling who is boss?

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

No 11 isnt old but she may not be used to young cats, like Misa who has never had anyone to play with before cos Sasa is not a play cat. Lupin sneaks up to Sasa and sits and looks at her and so funny cos just one look from her and he slinks off 

[Gillian Harvey]

im worried about her getting bored as she doesn't seem to be doing much or is this just because of her age? is 11 old for a cat really though???

I don't think she'll get bored with Twix around 

[Sarah_Jane]

Yeah they are both doing fine eating/litter tray wise. i had worried a little as cleo seemed to have lost some weight but i think that was due to the move to my house etc
Twix is still very excited about her and she seems to be paying more attention when he comes in now, this morning twix walked straight over to her and after a nose smell smacked her and ran away  ?? he definitly wants her to show him more attention he keeps doing 'circus tricks' on the tree and showing how good he is at killing his toys  etc
im worried about her getting bored as she doesn't seem to be doing much or is this just because of her age? is 11 old for a cat really though??? 

[maddercow]

It sounds as though Cleo and Twix are doing really well and just measuring each other up and seeing what they can get away with and who is going to be in charge. 
It is all a matter of time and is early days isn't it? I think with an age difference cats can take that little bit longer to sort things out as there is less of a tendency to play which is quite an ice-breaker. 

Are they both eating and doing their ablutions ok?  I'd keep going with the meetings, make them longer each time and you'll soon know when you can leave them, I suppose it could be some time before Cleo gets a permanent home and it would be so much better for you if you knew you culd let them get on with it.

I always fascinates me how cats settle the pecking order.  When our Rosie was PTS at 18, Cashie and Izzy who had been equals under Rosie (who was very definitely in
charge!) The week after Rosie had gone they kept having little spats, they never had before, and it seemed that they were establishing who was boss. 

They have sorted it out now, I think Cashie is the boss... sometimes I wonder tho' as Izzy is such a little minx.

Good luck anyway.

Jo

[Sarah_Jane]

 poor jess is always getting bullied off twix so thats nothing new  but twix bullies everyone in our house so its okay, zen has it the worse, (bullkita cross) every night and morning he is woken up by twix coming over to suck the crown of hair on his chest for ten min and if zen wont let it happen (its occasionally accompanied by a bit of kneading of the chest aswell) he chases him round the bed til zen gives up and sits there looking at me with a look on his face saying this is wrong mam so very wrong!!    he is a very strange cat

[SamMewl]

It looks like Cleo is trying to show Twix some manners     ..not that its worked much 
Neither of them seem to be too stressed - as Cleo was showing her back to him and grooming and it looks like Twix is finding it all quite exciting!
As long as they both get a chance to leave each other alone (which is what your doing already) they shouldn't suffer from any stress.

...maybe Jess will 

[Sarah_Jane]

twix is normally the instigator of it all now aswell, wonder if it because they are younger and have the energy??? 
I had wondered with twix whether it was because of his shock at her hitting him the first time they met that now he feels that he is going to get the first one in  , this morning twix turned the corner of the bed not realising she was there and although they were sniffing noses that soon turned to smacks and hisses but neither ran away twix just backed off lay down and watched her as she jumped back on the bed and came for cuddles  but in that instance i dont know which started it as my view was obsucured by the duvet.

He is sooo funny though, jess (black dog) will occasionally try and come in the spare room while we are in there and twix will run over and smack her nose until she turns round and leaves as if to say get out your scaring her!!   

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Its so hard to know when you are on the spot as I am finding with 18month old Lupin and 10year old Misa.

But what youi have going on there is a lesser version of whats happening here and I think they are doing fine and agree with Gillian.

My two are doing loads more wopping on the tree and sometimes with sound effects too but Lupin is the instigator and he also lies in wait and chases Misa who then turns round and chases Lupin.

This has been going on for about 3 weeks now and like you I was so worried but as far as I can tell they are just playing.

[Sarah_Jane]

  it was funny to watch Twix is such a lil  burger bum at times. Ile let them keep going then and try and get some photos up  gillian thort i was probably worrying over nothing but you just cant help getting nervouswell i cant when it comes to stuff like this!

[Gillian Harvey]

I have to say, I really enjoyed that account of the ear flicking and smacking lol! 

Anyway, as you say, there doesnt seem any out and out aggression, so as long as it stays like that, I'd probably continue with the supervised meetings. 

[Sarah_Jane]

Had new foster Cleo for few days now and she is staying in the spare room as she is scared of the dogs.
She is 11 and her owner died which is how she ended up with CP but other than that we dont have much info

Her and twix have been swapping smells so on sunday twix snuck in after me and since cleo didnt instantly hide/hiss/stiffen i thought id let it happen. After twix had re-united himself with the tree which we put in there he came over to see her and she took a few steps towards him and sniffed noses and then turned away, twix went to lay down next to her and she hit him on the head. 
Well twix has never seen an older cat before never mind been hit by one so i think he got the shock of his life!    He flattened himself and stared at her, she got up and and sat on the windowsill totally ignoring him so i took twix and left.
Since then twix has followed me in and doesnt seem to mind her or her him, but think twix is a little bit fasinated to be honest. 
Anyway last night i was in and she was sat on the middle shelf of the cat tree and twix jumped up to the top one. She was just sat ignoring him and he was eating a toy mouse so i left them alone. Cept twix  lowered a paw down to give her ear a flick,  (i think he just wanted her to give him soem attention) which was met by a fast smack back by cleo, i thought well that might teach him that he cant go around flicking folk on the ear and get away with it, but no he kept doing it,  cleo didnt seem bothered except when she caught him slying his paw lower to do it and then she'd give him a quick swipe or a little hiss and lay back down.

It was funny seeing twix slyin his paw ever so slowly over the edge to poke her and then jump back really fast out the way of her smack 

She was showing her back to him and inbetween swipes was having a quick groom of herself, but after about ten min my nerves wouldnt take anymore so i shooed twix out gave cleo her tea and left.
Iv never had two older cats before, so i have no idea whether this is normal who is boss sorting out or whether twix is being just a young cat trying to get her to play or something more serious.
I dont think its overly agreesive from cleo although she is doing most of the swiping but i dont think she'd even look at twix if he wasn't poking her every two min   

So should i continue letting them meet like this or do i stop letting twix come in and see her? It would be better if cleo could go to a home with another cat as she is strictly no dogs and with her age and everything the less restrictions she has on possible new homes the better, but i dont want her or twix to be stressed and i esp dont want to twix to think big cats mean a smack 
What would you guys do???