Mr and Mrs Beautiful in their new home , their first day :-)

[funkiechicken]

So lovely to receive an update Sheila and  to Purrs 

I am also pleased that things are slowly (probably very slowly) improving and going in the right direction at least 
Like others have said we were all so pleased with Oscar and belle's new home and we're upset to hear things hadn't been going so well lately and it is stressful to deal with fighting cats when all you want us for then to get on or like my two.... Toleration with no blood and furr flying keeps peace at least!!

I know Val was just concerned that your situation had become desperate and that communication had broken down for her to be able to help x

But do use the site for advice as varying opinions on other people's experiences help to at least find solutions or narrow down the cause  I have had cats all my life but the introduction of my new cat with my old stubborn grumpy cat was the most stressful time and I learnt many valuable tips on here!
I wish you all good luck and that tranquility is soon restored 

[Teresa Pawcats]

Sheila
As you say you dont need a qualification to look after cats, just commonsense and lots of love.

When I did your homecheck it was obvious that you had both of these in abundance 

Take care
Teresax

[valeriewhiteside]

The vet didn’t want to see Belle. From what we said, it was clear that she is the cause of Oscar’s distress. She is very jealous and possessive.

Since keeping them in different rooms (Vets Advice) there has been an improvement.
They have been apart with their own litter trays, food, and feliway diffusers.
We also have the spray. I bought these online from medicanimal.
We will be gradually putting them back together.

There has been no wee or spraying. This was the least of the problem.
I have wooden floors and painted walls, so it was very easy to clean up.
The worse thing was to see little Belle being aggressive and attacking big Oscar.
I told Val that the only problem Oscar had was Belle, but she didn’t want them to separate.

She only knows two frightened cats that lived behind boxes in her garage.
She does not know the two that I have. I may not have a qualification in looking after cats, but I do have common sense, and I use my initiative. Teresa must have known this when she did my home check. She is very good at her job.
When she came it was a very cold night and she was not at all well.
I had to decide whether Oscar would be better off with Val + 5 cats or me with Belle.
Now that we are more organised with the situation, and have altered things to accommodate it, Oscar is staying here.

The only home that I would ever send Oscar to would be Val. But he is going to stay with me and Belle.
I hope that all assumptions on what I have or haven’t done have been cleared.
We only wanted what was best for them both, and will continue to make sure they get it here.

Ahh this is super news indeed        I'm very pleased to hear that you have decided to keep him and try the feliway etc but mostly , that things are now improving 

Whilst they are separated , it would probably be a good idea to do some regular scent swapping ........  take oscars blanket and put it in belles room and vice versa . Also , an old sock can be a great tool , rub oscar all over with it when you're cuddling him , paying attention to his scent glands and then rub belle with it too 

Try not lose heart , these things can take many many months ................as i know only too well   

I think i speak for everyone when i say ...... PICS !!!!!!!!!!     

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

  to Purrs Sheila 

I can only echo what the others have said and how much we all have fallen for these two beautiful cats.

I do hope that the issues will settle ansd they both will live happily ever after with you 

[sheilarose]

Oh, Sheila. Thank you for posting, and welcome to Purrs. 

This is one of the problems we find with forums, that the whole picture is not always known and things, sometimes come across differently to the way we would want them too. Folk take things very personally, especially when beautiful cats are concerned.

Please be assured we are all rooting for you, Belle and Oscar, and now you have joined the forum we will do everything we can to assist you with the behavioural issues you are experiencing.

Valerie did a wonderful job saving the lives of these two beautiful babies, she didn't ask for this but took two hopeless cases on and deserves credit for finding you to take them in. Its unfortunate that they didn't live up to their gentle and beautiful looks, but I'm afraid that's cats for you.

I sincerely hope you stay with us on Purrs and keep us informed of their progress, and allow us to help you where we can.

Good luck, Sheila, and thank you for the update, it really is important to us. 

[Tiggy's Mum]

I'm so pleased to hear they're going to be staying together and that you are working through the issues  I'm sorry if you've been offended by any thoughts or comments posted here - that's the problem with forums in that things can be interpreted differently as the written word can seem very black and white 

As you can see Mr & Mrs Beautiful, now your Belle & Oscar, have captured our hearts and I for one am very happy that the separating seems to be doing the trick and that you have decided to keep him. I do hope you'll stick around and keep us updated as to how they're doing.

[Sheila]

The vet didn’t want to see Belle. From what we said, it was clear that she is the cause of Oscar’s distress. She is very jealous and possessive.

Since keeping them in different rooms (Vets Advice) there has been an improvement.
They have been apart with their own litter trays, food, and feliway diffusers.
We also have the spray. I bought these online from medicanimal.
We will be gradually putting them back together.

There has been no wee or spraying. This was the least of the problem.
I have wooden floors and painted walls, so it was very easy to clean up.
The worse thing was to see little Belle being aggressive and attacking big Oscar.
I told Val that the only problem Oscar had was Belle, but she didn’t want them to separate.

She only knows two frightened cats that lived behind boxes in her garage.
She does not know the two that I have. I may not have a qualification in looking after cats, but I do have common sense, and I use my initiative. Teresa must have known this when she did my home check. She is very good at her job.
When she came it was a very cold night and she was not at all well.
I had to decide whether Oscar would be better off with Val + 5 cats or me with Belle.
Now that we are more organised with the situation, and have altered things to accommodate it, Oscar is staying here.

The only home that I would ever send Oscar to would be Val. But he is going to stay with me and Belle.
I hope that all assumptions on what I have or haven’t done have been cleared.
We only wanted what was best for them both, and will continue to make sure they get it here.

[valeriewhiteside]

This must be really upsetting for you Valerie, they are both such beautiful cats and it must really hurt to be given the cold shoulder by the new owners when all you have done is try to help
People can be so insensitive sometimes, maybe they think that fosterer's don't form attachments with the animals they re-home, nor how utterly heart wrenching it is to say goodbye to them, or how much we worry about them until we hear news, and long for a simple e-mail update or text.
Have you tried suggesting to these people that a home might be found for Mr. Beautiful on Purrs as you no longer have space?
Or perhaps there is a third party who would be willing to make enquiries with the owners if they won't communicate with you, just to put your mind at rest? maybe the vet, or the lady who did the home check might be able to get an update.

xx xx

I know , i am so upset by it , i really don't understand why she's so mad at me , i can only presume its because i've not said what they wanted to hear    Or maybe , because i did say i'd take him back but then offered up suggestions . I should have made the suggestions first 

The rescue who did the home check is on here actually and the owners had visited their rescue first . I'm hoping that the owners will get in touch with them again (maybe to ask if they can take him ) and then i could maybe get an update .

I did suggest that the owners should put aside their personal feelings towards me as i may be able to help , no reply 

I've just heard back from the local rescue , they're full , no surprise 

[lornab]

This must be really upsetting for you Valerie, they are both such beautiful cats and it must really hurt to be given the cold shoulder by the new owners when all you have done is try to help
People can be so insensitive sometimes, maybe they think that fosterer's don't form attachments with the animals they re-home, nor how utterly heart wrenching it is to say goodbye to them, or how much we worry about them until we hear news, and long for a simple e-mail update or text.
Have you tried suggesting to these people that a home might be found for Mr. Beautiful on Purrs as you no longer have space?
Or perhaps there is a third party who would be willing to make enquiries with the owners if they won't communicate with you, just to put your mind at rest? maybe the vet, or the lady who did the home check might be able to get an update.

xx xx

[valeriewhiteside]

I have just be reading all this  It must be awful for you not kniowing  what has happened to him Isn't yhere any way you could find out?   

Sadly not    I have sent three emails , all of which have gone unanswered    I'm sure my emails have been read as the first one i sent was a reply to their email of " we still want to rehome him " so surely they would be checking for my reply .

I'm waiting for a rescue to get back to me , hopefully they'll have a place for him and i can then email again .

I've obviously upset the owners 

[Peggy C]

I have just be reading all this  It must be awful for you not kniowing  what has happened to him Isn't yhere any way you could find out?   

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

So very very hard 

[valeriewhiteside]

Yes it is  I suppose there is nothing more i can do except hope for the best . It's the not knowing that's hard 

[Mymblesdaughter]

Ok I see, It sounds like you've done everything you can for Mr and Mrs. So sorry it hasn't worked out. It must be a real worry for you.     

[valeriewhiteside]

Are they re homing him through a rescue? It's just a bit of a concern where he might end up. When you fostered them and homed them was it through a rescue because if so they usually have to sign to say they will return the cat to that rescue if there are any problems.

No    They had been dumped at my vets , a lady took them in , said she was going to lock up her car , and never went back    My vets had tried the local rescues and nowhere had places available so i offered them my garage and to find them a home myself   

I know when i tried to find them a rescue place , i must've contacted about 30 rescues and none had space for them 

I'm hoping the new owners will have more luck finding him a rescue place .

[Mymblesdaughter]

Are they re homing him through a rescue? It's just a bit of a concern where he might end up. When you fostered them and homed them was it through a rescue because if so they usually have to sign to say they will return the cat to that rescue if there are any problems. 

[valeriewhiteside]

oh  i hope that Oscar's situation improves, either where he is or rehomed.

Its such a shame that things have turned this way and I know, even for experienced owners that when things arent well, how stressful you can feel.
Its probably this stress that has made his new owners dig their heels and decide its best he goes  but I see that 10days is not a long time to try certain things and sometimes methods take weeks or months for even the slightest improvement.
I just hope the sudden change in personality isnt due to him being unwell? as the 2 are normally affectionate with each other i think that this may be the underlying problem or maybe a sneaky 3rd party cat is upsetting the equilibrum of this happy house - and this could be just through the smell of another cat marking outside/against the house??

Whatever the cause, i hope it all works out and that at least she would consider keeping him until you managed to rehome him maybe??

its so sad, but either way the whole thing isnt doing him or the owner any good and i'm sure they're both feeling the strain and tension 
 good luck xx

Hi    I agree with all of your post . I know myself , when i got mr fuzzy , he was an absolute DEMON    He really bullyed my cuddlepuss and they literally could not be alone for many many months ! Not just a little power struggle , but full on , vicious fighting .  It was horribly difficult , keeping them separate but giving them both time in the garden and house etc ..  But things improved and now they love each other     

I wonder myself if maybe the girl , Belle, may be unwell , or like you say , unsettled by an intruder    It is Belle who is being aggressive and funnily enough , it is only Belle who goes out . I wonder if the scent of another cat is causing her unrest .....

Re Oscars health , i know he has been to the vet but it did not read to me that he'd had any tests (like a urine sample maybe) Maybe he did though , i don't know 

Sadly , since the owners emailed ( the one that came 10 days after my advice) and i replied saying i could not take Oscar now , i have had no reply      I have also sent two further emails which have also gone unanswered      I know that the owners have been online too so am pretty certain my replies have been read .

So , i have no idea what the situation is now , whether they are going to continue trying or if Oscar is up for rehoming , or indeed , already rehomed 

I'm so upset by this    Like i said , they have taken offense at my advice and what they have read on here    Presumably this is why i'm being given the silent treatment 

I can only hope that he has found a nice new home 

At least the two i'm fostering soon , i don't have to find homes for . I don't think cat rescue is for me    Would you believe , the two cats who are coming to stay are silver tabbies !! 

[funkiechicken]

oh  i hope that Oscar's situation improves, either where he is or rehomed.

Its such a shame that things have turned this way and I know, even for experienced owners that when things arent well, how stressful you can feel.
Its probably this stress that has made his new owners dig their heels and decide its best he goes  but I see that 10days is not a long time to try certain things and sometimes methods take weeks or months for even the slightest improvement.
I just hope the sudden change in personality isnt due to him being unwell? as the 2 are normally affectionate with each other i think that this may be the underlying problem or maybe a sneaky 3rd party cat is upsetting the equilibrum of this happy house - and this could be just through the smell of another cat marking outside/against the house??

Whatever the cause, i hope it all works out and that at least she would consider keeping him until you managed to rehome him maybe??

its so sad, but either way the whole thing isnt doing him or the owner any good and i'm sure they're both feeling the strain and tension 
 good luck xx

[valeriewhiteside]

I don't think Valerie is blaming the owners at all for the problem starting, I read it that she is just disappointed that the owners don't want to give it any longer to try and solve Mr B's issues.  Valerie was simply trting to help these two cats, I'm sure she is grateful for your homecheck and nobody could have foreseen that Mr B would start urinating inapprpriately - not you, not Valerie and not the new owners.

Thank you for that Tiggys mum  that is exactly what i'm saying . By their own admission (the owners) nothing had been tried , no feliway , no extra trays , different litters , not even separating the cats 

Since my advice , i imagine (although i don't know) that some of these things have been tried , but i feel 10 days is not long enough , i feel sad that Mr B is not being given more of a chance   

[Tiggy's Mum]

I don't think Valerie is blaming the owners at all for the problem starting, I read it that she is just disappointed that the owners don't want to give it any longer to try and solve Mr B's issues.  Valerie was simply trting to help these two cats, I'm sure she is grateful for your homecheck and nobody could have foreseen that Mr B would start urinating inapprpriately - not you, not Valerie and not the new owners.

[Teresa Pawcats]

Excellent people,beautiful home, I stand by what I said.

I am very choosy about who I rehome to; sadly I wil not be homechecking anymore unless of course for Paws Inn cats.

[valeriewhiteside]

Have only just seen this and am so sorry to hear that there are problems.
I know that I did the homecheck for Valerie and these people were wonderful so I am certain that they will be doing everything possible. They are an excellent home and I am sorry that I had nothing suitable at the time.
I do hope all is soon sorted.

Although i do agree that the owners are wonderful people and their home is lovely , i'm not sure i agree they are an excellent home  (i'm not criticising your home check    )

Just 10 days after receiving my advice , i have had an email to say that they still want to rehome oscar   

Unfortunately , i have just agreed to look after a friends cats indefinitely (i won't go into the details) so i cannot take him now . I really thought (hoped) that the owners would persevere for longer than just 10 days     

I'm really upset about this and where poor oscar will end up now    I really wish i could take him but i cannot bring 3 new cats in , i have 5 cats of my own .

I honestly was not expecting to hear back so soon .............10 days is nothing    I thought it would be months and months , by which time i may have been able to take him 

[Teresa Pawcats]

Have only just seen this and am so sorry to hear that there are problems.
I know that I did the homecheck for Valerie and these people were wonderful so I am certain that they will be doing everything possible. They are an excellent home and I am sorry that I had nothing suitable at the time.
I do hope all is soon sorted.

[valeriewhiteside]

Hopefully they will try some of the ideas and they can all live happily ever after 

It must be very upsetting for them to think about rehoming him and like you said as they are relatively new cat owners they might have thought it was the end of the road when the spraying started  I do hope that if things don't work out they will still let him come back to you 

Yes fingers crossed , it would be such a shame to split them up without trying everything possible first    I'm hopeful though as they still sleep together and eat together so surely , things between Mr & Mrs cannot be that bad     

[Tiggy's Mum]

Hopefully they will try some of the ideas and they can all live happily ever after 

It must be very upsetting for them to think about rehoming him and like you said as they are relatively new cat owners they might have thought it was the end of the road when the spraying started  I do hope that if things don't work out they will still let him come back to you 

[valeriewhiteside]

Just wondering if there is an update Valerie?

Did Mr Beautiful end up coming back to you? If so how is he getting on?

Hi    Sadly , when i emailed some advice to Mr Beautifuls owner , she seemed to take offence and i have not heard back  (apart from "you shouldn't have said you'd take him !" ) 

Admittedly , i probably should have given more advice BEFORE saying i would take him but i just wanted her to explore every avenue first , so i emailed some further advice .

To be frank , it did sound to me like nothing at all has been tried    No extra litter trays , no change of litter , no covered/open trays , no feliway , not even leaving them separate when they go out !    Also , i do not think mrs beautiful has been to the vet (to rule out a medical cause for her aggression)   

Maybe (hopefully) these measures are being put into place now ....

[Tiggy's Mum]

Just wondering if there is an update Valerie?

Did Mr Beautiful end up coming back to you? If so how is he getting on?

[valeriewhiteside]

Oh Valerie. I think maybe this was meant to be. It was perhaps too good to be true.

I wonder if she's always been a bully but didn't have the space to actually make it count before they got into their new home? I agree this behaviour may have been the reason for their abandonment previously and as such will be good for both of them to be split up.

I would have your vet check him over, just to be sure and order some feliway for yourself to combat his loneliness for the first couple of weeks.
We had problems with Beau spraying when he was being bullied by Cora years ago. My vet prescribed a mild sedative called Buspirone which has very good reviews for inappropriate spraying, and it worked a treat for Beau, so if the Feliway doesn't work, I'd ask your vet about this.
Cora ended up being re-homed, though - it turned out she was spraying too so there was nowhere we could go with her - she needed to be an only cat.

I hope you are happy with Mr Beautiful. I think he'll be just fine and should come out of his shell very quickly once he's free of his oppressor.

Hi    Yes i suppose it could be the reason . I do seriously doubt it though because they cuddle up together so it sounds more to be like maybe just a bit of a power struggle . They also eat together too so it really doesnt sound too serious . sutrely if that was the cause , their previous owner would have just "dumped" one of them ?  They were left in the same carrier too .

I have emailed the lady with some suggestions that she may not have thought of . I don't want to talk her into keeping him but she isn't a very experienced cat owner ( i mean that with the greatest respect) so may think the odd standoff is the end of the road !

If she decides that she still wants to rehome oscar , i will most certainly be taking him to the vet for sure   

Amongst other things , I have suggested that maybe belle needs to see the vet in case her behaviour is down to her feeling unwell . I think that only oscar has been so far .

My main concern is that i already have 5 cats !!    I hope oscar can cope with 5 more , maybe 5 will be too much for him  ??

I did not know of buspirone so thanks for that !! 

[sheilarose]

Oh Valerie. I think maybe this was meant to be. It was perhaps too good to be true.

I wonder if she's always been a bully but didn't have the space to actually make it count before they got into their new home? I agree this behaviour may have been the reason for their abandonment previously and as such will be good for both of them to be split up.

I would have your vet check him over, just to be sure and order some feliway for yourself to combat his loneliness for the first couple of weeks.
We had problems with Beau spraying when he was being bullied by Cora years ago. My vet prescribed a mild sedative called Buspirone which has very good reviews for inappropriate spraying, and it worked a treat for Beau, so if the Feliway doesn't work, I'd ask your vet about this.
Cora ended up being re-homed, though - it turned out she was spraying too so there was nowhere we could go with her - she needed to be an only cat.

I hope you are happy with Mr Beautiful. I think he'll be just fine and should come out of his shell very quickly once he's free of his oppressor.

[valeriewhiteside]

I'm glad she is returning him to you valerie 

Me too    Although i do feel sad that they're going to be split up . Fingers crossed that it does do him good and doesn't upset him too much 

[Dawn F]

I'm glad she is returning him to you valerie 

[valeriewhiteside]

Hi    Yes i think he's been to the vet mostly because of his spraying . Oscar only defends himself apparently, it is belle who is aggressive towards him   

[Mymblesdaughter]

I take it as the vet suggested feliway they have talked to him about the aggression. I was wondering if he could have a health problem and was having transfered aggression towards his sister which could also cause him to spray around the house as well. It could be something that's causing him stress maybe a change in the situation in the house. 

It's difficult though as you can't really go onto them too much as they have decided they don't want to keep him. As you say if he is spraying around the house it's not an easy situation.   

[valeriewhiteside]

Hi all    Mr and Mrs are now Oscar and Bella    Super names    I have had another update and they are both doing great    Apparently Mr B still loves a tummy rub and to chase his own tail and charge up and down the stairs      Mrs B doesnt like being picked up but is very friendly and follows her new mummy about all over the house 

Neither have been allowed out yet which is great !!!!!    Also, they no longer run away when their mummy and daddy come in so it sounds like theyve really settled in well and are happy 

so pleased for them     

I wonder what has happened since the above which was only about 5 weeks ago.

They have done well for months and suddenly there is a problem

Gosh you're right ! i had not realised it was only 5 weeks ago or so !  sooooooooo hope they don't miss each other too much !

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Hi all    Mr and Mrs are now Oscar and Bella    Super names    I have had another update and they are both doing great    Apparently Mr B still loves a tummy rub and to chase his own tail and charge up and down the stairs      Mrs B doesnt like being picked up but is very friendly and follows her new mummy about all over the house 

Neither have been allowed out yet which is great !!!!!    Also, they no longer run away when their mummy and daddy come in so it sounds like theyve really settled in well and are happy 

so pleased for them     

I wonder what has happened since the above which was only about 5 weeks ago.

They have done well for months and suddenly there is a problem

[valeriewhiteside]

Yes it could be  Pretty sure he never did it here though and it's only been the last 4 weeks .......sounds like he's upset about something . Hope he doesn't do it here too ! 

[Tiggy's Mum]

I think it may be the wee ing in the house that's the main problem for them 

I guess that's what it boils down to, it might even have been the reason they were dumped at the vets in the first place  I can definitely sympathise, I would hate it if one of mine did that - always on edge and worrying if they had done it somewhere. It's a shame they're not willing to try Feliway but at least Oscar has a loving home to go to  You can be his Mrs Beautiful and give him the confidence he needs 

[valeriewhiteside]

This is my concern too    I honestly HONESTLY believe they love each other . I think oscar may feel lost without belle    They were always together when they were here and he seemed to get his confidence from her 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I do hope she is not breaking up a good partnership that causes both of them more trouble

[valeriewhiteside]

Sounds to me that she just doest want him 

To be honest , i thought the same thing    She seems genuine but if they still eat and sleep together , how can it be that bad    I think it may be the wee ing in the house that's the main problem for them