Well my beautiful Taz-wha, its been 4 weeks since i last saw your face, shared our blinks and touched paws
You never went out at your usual 5am slot cos your mammy fell asleep on the couch with you and you stayed with me.
My heartbreaks that as I jumped up to get ready for work and "Uncle Sarmi" let you out after your breakfast that I never saw you go, I never protested like i normally did, that it was too cold and "wait, he'll be back in 5mins".....i never saw your beautiful face again
I knew when you werent there when I came home, something was wrong. I could bet money on your routine. Last seen by a neighbour at 3pm and then nothing. I searched for you for 2 hours, through fields and in bushes, every white object looking like it could be you. But I never checked the other side. The side no one knew you went. Only searching along that roadside, I never ventured further in
why? could I of helped you?? i'll never know
xx
I knew when you werent crying at the door that following morning. I just knew. I knew I would get you home, but I knew it would be with tears
- but still I did your Posters/flyers and internet missing reports, tried to have hope. I posted less than 20 houses and your Uncle Sarmi got the call. The lady already said she thought you were gone, but he saved me the pain until we knew it was you. The Lady came and took us to your sleeping space and my world ended. Curled up and closed your eyes and I still cant accept why.....what happened in the short time from 3pm until i got home? I'll never know. You werent injured or showed signs of distress, just fast asleep
Sarmi wrapped you in my coat and brought you home xx I wish i'd cleaned & brushed you and could lift my coat from your face and kiss your forehead & eyes like everyday - but I couldnt. I was scared I might see pain, I was scared it would of scarred my memories and i'm so very sorry
but i sat with you and stroked you and we touched paws one last time xxx
You were 13&half, my baby since 9 weeks. You earned your name from running with a kink in your tail up the wallpaper and curtains lol always independant but only ever loving your mam, we had it good. You had fell out of bedroom windows, been stung by bees, brought home wild rabbits, went missing for a week, got kidnapped out of your garden by the local kids, who wanted you to sleep in theirs, teased dogs because you were King xx
Your 1st Daddy Mark even shed a tear, though we left when you were 6 xx
We had Nuggie by then, forced into your affections and you were the best brother to him. Both the only consistant things i ever had, you were both my Lion Pride and we relied on each other.
I made bad judgements with life, sometimes selfish - but you always loved me, knowing i'd make it right.
We moved 8 times in total
but I knew when we met your Uncle Sarmi, this was it. My best friend shared his affection openly with another. You never tolerated, for the first time you Purred at this other Human and you were happy and oh how Sarmi loved you, his little sidekick xx Our last move, took you 3hrs to settle before you escaped. Just sat on the lawn watching us move boxes, not a care in the world. I knew I had made the right choice in picking our final home. Never far away and the forever watchful Papa Cat of the younger fur-babies in our street. You felt safe xxx
my heart will never mend, you knew me and I knew you, we shared hard times we'd never speak of
I have you home and your memorial statue. I kiss your ashes each day and tell you I love you, just like i always did (if anyone else knew that - i'd be off to counselling lol) but we were all so happy with our Lion Pride, but now the King has gone xx
I wont ever accept the reason why and ignorance is bliss, but I knew you to your very soul....?
Please stay close to Nuggie, hes not doing so well and make sure when he chooses the day to join you, that both my special boys are together so that we can all touch paws again when I arrive xx
Gimme Blinks Baby Flea.......I would trade my world to have you back.....Love you more than mice love cheese xxx
xxx
