Death of a cat, and a new companion for the remaining cat?

[Tiggy's Mum]

Very pleased to hear that  It will hopefully encourage others going through the same issue that with a bit of time and patience things will work out OK. I'm sure Harry would be pleased that his brother has a new pal too 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Thats really wonderful and must be amazing to watch 

[CharlieFarley]

Thought I'd drop a quick update to say that Charlie and Lola are now friends 

They now do mutal grooming, eat side by side (and on one ocassion from the same bowl!) and play together  Its lovely to see.  Charlie also looks after her now shes started going out, follows her and ushers her back if she wanders out too far, and the day she escaped and we couldnt catch her he sheperded her back in the front door.  Hes being a proper little gent 

Thanks for all the advice I got on here, they still have the odd spat, but all in all we have 2 happy cats and are very happy.  I hope Harry would be too.

[CharlieFarley]

Think we may have just had a breakthrough  Lola just walked up to Charlie and rubbed her head under his chin!  Thats a submissive gesture isnt it?  Of course Charlie was surprised and just stood up with both paws in the air (didnt hit her though) but hopefully this is progress and if she tries it again he'll suss it.

Lolas been here 5 weeks now and is a real sweetheart, I've been ill in bed for 2 days and shes barely left my side 

Hopefully we're creeping ever closer to the 2 of them being friends 

[Tiggy's Mum]

As Lola (and Charlie) are still youngsters it could just be she needs to be able to burn some energy off. My two don't fight properly ie no hissing etc like you've described but when they haven't been out for a few days I do notice that Riley in particular does more 'ambushing' of his brother for playfights.

As it'll be 4 weeks tomorrow since you have had her I think that as long as she is bonded to you I would think about letting her out. I'd invest in a packet of dreamies and try and get her used to the crinkling sound of the packet, my boys are roused from unconsciousness if I even touch the packet! If you let her out in the morning so that way if you do have to go and look for her it will still be light and also on an empty stomach.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Sounds like Lola is doing fairly well but still has a way to go. 

Purrrrrrsonally I would keep her in until things with Charley get even better so she doesnt scare him away.

My cats have 24/7 access but believe others wait until before a meal time or have a tin of fav treats that they shake. Another reason to keep her in I think until she definately knows her name.

[CharlieFarley]

Greetings All!

Right its a few weeks on since I last updated you.  Things are going ok, but it does seem to be a case of 1 step forward 2 steps back! 

Charlie is completely unfazed by Lola, miaows at her if she comes near but otherwise isn't bothered, quite happily rolls around showing his belly 2 feet from her etc.

Lola on the other hand can't seem to make her mind up about him!  Some days she ignores him, other days she'll sniff him, but the worrying thing is when she attacks him.  Shes was just sat on my lap being stroked, saw Charlie out of the corner her eye so launched herself at him hissing and swiping    Shes not actually caught him yet - possibly because we shout at her if she attacks him (which I know we probably shouldnt but its very hard when someone you love is being attacked!) and Charlie doesn't react to her - just sits there looking completely confused 

Any idea why shes attacking Charlie??  There seem to be no triggers, they can be in the same room for half an hour, with no interaction and she'll suddenly fly across the room at him.  And how should we be reacting to discourage her from doing it?

Our other concern is that we've had her a month on Friday and were thinking of letting her out soon (maybe next weekend?) but shes already tried to stop Charlie coming in the cat flap once  - I don't want her chasing him away from the house when shes out.  (or him with her but thats far less likely!)

On the bright side is Lola has made SOO much progress.  When she arrived she was covered in scabs (her nails were too long and she was scratching herself to bits), we've trimmed her nails and shes now all healed, shes gained some weight, learnt how to use a scratching post, learnt about being picked up and carried and sits on laps for cuddles.  We did have an incident where she stole our left over beef joint - but shes so cute she got away with it 

When we do start letting her out how do others call their cats in?  Shes beginning to learn her name nut has not learnt the sound of the treat box  - shes completely bemused by it and doesn't seem to associate the box or the noise with yummy treats that follow afterwards!

[maddercow]

Sorry to hear about poor Harry, it must have been a dreadful shock. 

Sounds like little Lola is settling in well, she's hissing because she's a bit scared probably and it is perfectly natural and there is no need to worry or try to stop it.  Is a good sign that Charlie is running off as he obviously doesn't want a fight. I introduced a young female cat to my spoiled boycat Cash 6 months ago and your tale sounds pretty much the same as my experience with them.  I wanted to do the introduction slowly but Cash had other ideas and they met rather suddenly but they have never fought, there was only one little episode when Izzy came into my room and Cash wasn't happy & chased her but she ran off and that was it. After a week or so of circling round each other they soon worked out that there was not threat and they are the best of mates now, it is so nice to see them chasing each other, play fighting and grooming each other before bedtime, they sleep together every night on my bed.. I have a feeling Izzy is going to be the dominant one in the end but so far things are even stevens and nobody seems to be top cat yet. It was a good idea for you to get a girlcat as I think that combination usually works better than two boys especially when introducing them as adults.

Mine are indoor cats but as to letting her out I would say probably about 3 weeks. Is hard having one indoor cat and one outdoor cat but you need to satisfy yourselves that she is well settled before letting her out.

Hope everything carries on going well and don't worry, it is unlikely that they are going to go for each other or hurt each other, even if you leave them on their own but best keep them apart until you see some better body language.

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

I wouldn't worry about the odd hiss.   I have two Abys that are related they have the same father but different mothers.  They were born 6 weeks apart and have never not lived together and Foxy (my female) still hisses at her "brother" at least once a day    and they are both 9 years old now.   It's just a way of saying "back off ... I can see you"

As long as both your babies have plenty of space to get away from each other if they want to then I would just leave them alone and let them work out their own dynamics.

[CharlieFarley]

We're continuing with the slow introductions, I know people have suggested just put them together but as we will need to keep them seperate for nights and while we're at work until Lola can go out I figure we might as well carry on doing it slowly.

I'm hoping for some advice, Lola has hissed at Charlie once or twice and Charlie is such a wuss he turns tail and hides.  How do we stop Lola hissing at him or is it a case that they simply need more time?

[Michelle (furbabystar)]

I'm afraid I just put mine together and let them get on with it

Thats how I do it every time -
I think slow intro's can sometimes don't work aswell.

As long as they aren't tearing each other apart i would pretty much let them get on with it 

[CharlieFarley]

Well currently Hubby and I have both cats in the lounge. Charlie is half asleep on the sofa and Lola has found a sunny spot on the windowsil. So far so good!

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I agree with the rescue and would say 4-6 weeks.

Lola is doing what Pussy did here and my huge cat Misa was totally scared of her and refused to come into her room in the end.

Now Pussy is Leonie in her new home, it turns out she takes over one room and woe betied if another cat comes in her room lol.

I think it will gradually sort itself out but reckon Lola will be the top cat.

[CharlieFarley]

Reassuring to know we seem to be doing the right thing!

We did another introduction this morning, this time Charlie was desperate to get into her room which we thought was positive, she was sat on the arm of the chair and just sat and watched while Charlie explored the room, sniffed her toys and scratching posts etc.  It wasn't until he looked at her that she hissed and he ran!  Hes such a girl!!

Issue is that Harry was top cat on the estate we live on, so as much as we thought Charlie was top cat, turns out he just had a big brother bodyguard!    So since losing Harry Charlie's confidence has been knocked, which is part of our motivation for getting Lola - we're hoping having a friend will boost his confidence again.

Oh and yes the name is kinda after the kids program! We didn't like her original name and after a few hours of discussion couldn't come up with anything better so googled 'Charlie and...' and the first hit was Charlie and Lola.  We decided we like Lola and that was it!

How long would you leave it before letting Lola outside??  The rescue said 4 to 5 weeks but that seems a very long time - we were imagining more like 2 to 3?  We would walk her around the estate on a harness for a few days first and use all the usual tricks (let her out hungry and call her back with treats etc)

Will work on getting some pics for you all.

[Rosella moggy]

Hope Lola and Charlie learn to get along in time but does sound pretty good so far 

[Janeyk]

So sorry about the loss of your lovely cat, that must have been an awful shock for you all 

Regarding adopting another cat I think I personally would as I think if you have a cat that seems to like other feline company then generally they will be ok even if things are a bit hissy initially.  What I'd be tempted to do is contact rescues and and ask whether they have any cats needing homes that like other cats.   I'm also tempted to adopt another cat but really cautious as I have a deaf/blind boy so don't want to upset him it's never easy as cats may like some cats but not others but we did once have a cat who just loved any cats so there are some.  Best of luck whatever you decide.

[Tiggy's Mum]

on your new arrival   

Did you call her Lola yourself after 'Charlie & Lola' (the kids books) or was it just a coincidence she's called Lola?!

I've never had to introduce cats but lots of people on here have and from what I've read it sounds like everything is perfectly normal at this stage.

This link might be of help 'introducing a new cat to a resident cat' - http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,4789.0.html

She was rescued after she was spotted carrying kittens over a garden fence.  Turns out the kittens werent even hers!!  They were 5 months old and when Lola was recued they took her to the vets to discover she was already spayed!

That's hilarious  A real life cat-napper 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Agree you are doing fine just keep doing it 

[Sootyca]

Sounds like it is going well so far - I would keep doing what you are doing, giving them longer together each time.  I'm afraid I just put mine together and let them get on with it - I knew the nature of mine would be not to fight and the rescue girl was of a similar nature having been bullied by other cats.  From the start they ate next to each other (not too close at first) and slept in the same room and things went well apart from the odd hissy fit which they still have.

I'm sure there are some guides somewhere.

Oh and 

[CharlieFarley]

Thanks for the replies on this, I know I didn't respond but I did find them useful to read.

My Husband and I thought long and hard and decided it was worth seeing if Charlie would take to having a new friend.  So very excited, we collected a new addition to our home yesterday, a beautiful rescue girl called Lola

Shes a petite torty and white girl, aged between 2 and 4 years old.  She was rescued after she was spotted carrying kittens over a garden fence.  Turns out the kittens werent even hers!!  They were 5 months old and when Lola was recued they took her to the vets to discover she was already spayed!

We collected Lola from her foster home yesterday.  Shes taken up residence in our spare room and is settled in already, comes to us for cuddles and is so loving. 

Now the tricky part - convincing Charlie and Lola to be friends!!  We did a brief intro yesterday, they sniffed each other, there were some quiet yowly type noises and then they both turned tail and went in opposite directions.

Charlie later went and sniffed the door of the room Lola is in and slept a few feet away from it, which we took to be a good sign.

Today we introduced them to each other briefly whilst feeding them treats, they just sat and looked at each other, and Lola hissed once.

So fingers crossed but it seems to be going well thus far!  Any thoughts from those that have done it??

[Tiggy's Mum]

So sorry to hear about Harry  Hope you are getting to the stage where you can remember him and smile instead of feeling only sadness 

I don't have any experience of introducing another cat after a loss but I do have two boys the same age as Charlie, they are still very playful and if Charlie is too then it may be better to consider a young cat of a similar age for him to rough and and tumble with. You can ask the rescue centre about their personality and try and get one to fit in well with Charlie, not too dominant so Charlie can still be the top cat.

If you do decide to adopt another cat there are lots of people on here who can offer help and advice with introductions.

[StreetKatzRescue]

So sorry to hear of your sad loss, it must have been a huge shock.

Personally, I usually advise waiting to see how the remaining cat settles on its own.  Sometimes their personality blossoms with more 1-2-1 attention.  The thing is that Charlie will see any new cat or kitten as a threat to his territory and so, while he may be grieving for the loss of his companion, it is his companion he is grieving for and not necessarily another cat.

Most rescues, our own included, go through the process of introducing one cat to another very carefully beforehand and our homing agreement says we will always take the cat back if things don't work out.  However, we do also ask the new owner to try for at least 3 weeks as initial problems can often be resoved in that period of time. 

A female is probably a safer bet but it does sound as if Charlie may well benefit from just being an only cat.

[CharlieFarley]

I haven't posted on this forum for a few years but thought I'd come and seek some advice from the experts. 

My husband and I got 2 kittens in 2007, 2 brothers Charlie and Harry.  They were truly happy together, used to play together, groom each other etc.

My husband and I got married mid November of this year and went on a 2.5 week honeymoon.  The boys went into the vets the week before we went, had their annual checkups, vaccinations etc plus worming and flea treatments.  Both were given a clean bill of health.

Unfortunately on our return from honeymoon we were given the awful news that Harry had died in the cattery.    The only comfort is he went peacefully, he was fed at 9am, had his breakfast, the lady then came back to groom him at 9:30 to find him curled up peacefully having died.  The vet suspects a blood clot.

Obviously we were devasted, particulary as Harry was a truly affectionate cat.  He used to sleep wrapped round my head and used to stand on his hind legs and reach for you with his front paws asking to be picked up     We tried to make the homecoming as easy for Charlie as possible and hoovered and washed all of the bedding etc before collecting him from the cattery to try and remove some of the Harry smells.  He still spent a few hours searching for him but as he was with his brother when he died I think he understands.

Charlie became very clingy and stopped miaowing for a week or so (he is miaowing again now though).  He is much more affectionate now, hes fine when we are home but you can tell he doesn't like it when we go out - although he is improving.

So my question is, should we get him another companion?  How do you know if he wants a companion or not?  There are plenty of cats on our estate but he is scared of the other toms and the one female cat he does like is a fickle thing and sometimes welcomes him and other times attacks him.  We don't want to go down the kitten route so were contemplating an older female?

Would rescues allow you to bring home a cat to try and if they don't get on take her back?  I don't want to risk bringing a cat home for Charlie really not to like it and then be stuck with 2 unhappy cats!

One thing to consider is that Charlie has on 2 ocassions disappeared for 24 hours, we know we would need to handle introductions very carefully to avoid upsetting him.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.