Feral kitten - Socialing help and advice

[Liz]

Some of ours will curl up on your knee, some will share the same room, others love the dogs and some likembeing part of a colony and some still don't socialise with us but they will be what they can be

One of my worst ones dear Ace has lived with us for 5 years and still isn't injected cause we can't get close but he loves being a house cat, adores the kittens and any newbies, likes the dogs and will take treats and play laser pen we just can't get close enough with out severe damage as Ace comes at you so he lives in harmony and we love hime for being Ace not what he should so but for what he has achevied

[Shirley]

My Charlie is nearly 8 years old and i've known him all his life. He was born in the noisy steel factory where i used to work and was fed regularly by myself and my boss. Whenever he heard us coming, he would run towards us and rub round our legs, wanting fuss. I brought him home with me a year on Thursday, after a very stressful 9 months of him of being in rescue and on the run, as i'd been made redundant.    (VERY long story!)
He took to living in a home from day one but is STILL so nervous, even with me!  Sometimes he cowers down when i go to stroke him, which is upsetting and, like Alfie, he freaks out when the door buzzer goes. I live alone so he doesn't really see other people but when my friend came on Sunday afternoon (she used to come more often and would even take Webbox from her hand!) he wouldn't stay in the house until 12 noon the next day (and she'd gone at 8.30pm!), even in the awful weather.
He'll walk across my lap and actually lay there for about 5 minutes for the first time last week, but i'm not holding my breath he'll do it again!
I think as long as they know they're loved by someone (and don't run away!) that's the best we can do for them! Your Alfie sounds young enough to come round tho. Good luck!

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

It could be that its as simple as one being male and one female!

[Fire Fox]

Cats use their senses of sound and smell far more than humans do, which would mean what they see is a smaller part of the equation when considering whether to stay or flee. Have you tried getting your partner to chat to Alfie as he arrives? Do you answer the door or is your partner letting himself in? Does Alfie hide when you arrive home - if not what is different about that compared with when you partner arrives?

[Skully]

Thanks for the replies 

I guess I just have to accept that maybe Alfie will always be like this about humans, although if I had as many panic attacks as he does each day I think my heart would give out.

As I type this he is sitting on my lap, purring and calm, so I guess I should count my blessings that he has chosen to trust me.

[Liz]

Living with 30 odd ferals ranging from nice to nasty and really nasty and the clan domestics and my pedigree ragdoll and my newest baby a feral called Pagan she is about 13 weeks and I use Zylkene sprinkled on their wet food = she has gone from oh dear god to lets play ball and purrs for her treats

Also Rescue remedy in their water bowls is good to

Some of our ferals don't mind other humans but some only want Mummy and Daddy or just one of them and some prefer the dogs

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Sounds like you have done a great job with Alfie 

Just to say I have a semi-feral moggie who after 5 years I cant touch, she loves her home but her background makes her just too scared to like humans 

My other moggie also is terrified of all humans except me and hides if doorbell goes or anyone else in the house. Again its his past that caused this.

So I reckon Alfie is doing so well and I would just let him feel safe and choose who and what he wants to like. He obviously has a past too.

[Feline Costumier]

One plug in covers a certain are, not sure how much but I think putting it, as you say, in the area that seems to cause him most anxiety, could work. Or if you're feeling flush splash out on more than one

[Skully]

I have been using the spray around the house to help Widget and Alfie stay calm enough to get along. I picked the spray as people told me the plug ins only work in a small area around the plug they are in. It might be worth a try though. Putting one in the hallway by the front door.

[Feline Costumier]

Have you tried Feliway? Might be worth getting a plug in for a few months to help chill him out a bit and take some of the anxiety away.

[Skully]

Thanks for the replies.

I have had timid cats live with me before and yes they also ran and hid when people they didn't know came into the house, but with them it was less of an utter fear of humans but more a bit of a worry about the unknown. Alfie is not just timid, he is completely freaked out by humans, other than me. Alfie does the timid type running away from me if he sees me in clothes he doesn't recognise or if I'm carrying bags that rustle, but for all other humans than me he just utterly freaks out and acts like he is running for his life. He does get over it quite quickly if he then realises the person is someone he has met before. If it is someone he hasn't met or hasn't seen for over a week he won't come anywhere near. It's hard to explain in text just how frightened he is. It's like a human having a massive panic attack.

I agree that if I let it worry me it will surely rub off on him and make it worse, and I'm really not bugged by it and nor are my visitors. I just want to be able to try and help him get over this fear and build a little bit of confidence in him, so that he doesn't see all humans as something to be terrified of. He is such a lovely wee man and he doesn't deserve to have massive panic attacks 5 times or so a day, so I really want to help him somehow.

[Feline Costumier]

Dave was not feral, has never had to depend on his wits (thank goodness, he doesn't have many) and is rather fond of humans but still hides for a few minutes when strangers come round. He even bombs through the cat flap when the postie comes down the path but goes straight back out if I have to open the door for a parcel.

It's just the way some cats are and I think it's not really an issue, especially as he gets over it so quickly.

[Pinkbear (Julie)]

I think that's pretty normal behaviour for a kitten who has had to live on his wits. An awful lot of cats do run from strangers, even when they have never has Alfie's experiences. 

I would just carry on as normal. But don't let it be an issue for you and your visitors. If it bugs you, he'll pick up on it and it could become worse. Try to ignore his need to hide. 

[Skully]

2 Months ago a small kitten turned up outside my back door, trying to steal food from the bowl of a giant white and ginger tom, Joey, I feed outside (long story, but basically he is an ex neighbours cat that got left behind when they moved after a messy divorce). The kitten was skinny, scrawny, covered in fleas and lice and ready to eat a horse. I tried to go over and stroke him, but as soon as he saw me he darted away and hid. Every time I moved away he ran back to snatch food from the bowl. He had absolutely no fear of Joey, but he was completely freaked out by me being anywhere near him.

I coaxed him into the house with food and trapped him into my front room, where upon I started to try and socialise him, feed him up, worm him, de-flea and louse him and get him into a fit state to be adopted by someone else. Well as time has gone by he has stolen my heart and there is no way I could put him up for adoption now. I named him Alfie.


The ever so beautiful Alfie by Captain Skulduggery Dug, on Flickr

Alfie has come on in leaps and bounds. He has come to trust me to the extent that he crawls in under the duvet with me at night to sleep. He is starting to build a relationship with my cat Widget... he has no fear of Widget even though Widget is 3 times his size. This is proving a bit of a problem for Widget as Alfie keeps on bouncing on him and doesn't take much notice when Widget tells him to stop, but they are slowly learning to get on with each other. Widget has lots of Alfie free space he can go to when it all gets a bit to much for him.

My main problem is that Alfie appears to have a very short memory for people other than me. Even though he sees my partner James 3 to 4 days a week, each time James comes to the house Alfie runs and hides behind the sofa (his safe spot) for a while until James sits down quietly without moving too much, so Alfie can come out and check him out. Once he has done that he is fine with James again. It is the same when my sister visits. He hides from her and won't come out until she stays seated for a while. It seems that if Alfie hasn't seen someone for about 2 hours he forgets who they are and is afraid of them all over again. He also runs and hides whenever he hears someone knock at the front door. Humans just freak him out.

Will he grow out of this, or is there some way I can help him to become less scared of people he feels he doesn't know... even if the night before he has been sleeping around their head like a pair ear muffs?

It's not really a huge issue, but I want Alfie not to have these moments of utter panic every time someone comes to the house, because it can't be nice for him to feel that insecure.