SO shy but getting better.

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

Patience is a virtue.  Sounds like she is getting more comfortable as each day passes.

[Alex S]

thanks again everyone!

over the last few days after she has her biscuits when i go to bed she'll come into the bedroom and sit in the corner having a clean for a while before going for a wander around the flat. the more time she spends in there the better, i want it to smell safe for her!

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

You may have to accept that however much your girlfriend tries to bond with Sadie she may actually just be one of those cats that prefers men!  I used to have one just like that .... she put up with me (after all I was the one that fed her) but whenever any of my male friends came round she was all over them like a rash.  She now lives with my mum and dad as they have a huge garden and Diesel is a very "outdoors" type of cat.  She has been with them for the past 4 years and she still looks at my mum with disdain however she thinks my dad is the best thing since sliced bread.

Cats .... funny little creatures.

[Fire Fox]

If Sadie is food-oriented, maybe your girlfriend could feed and clicker train Sadie?

[Liz]

I would say food treats are a usual way of helping them come in to their own - I tamed 4 feral kittens last year they are so food orientated and love to be stroked now after they did the wall of death -

Also long toys like feather sticks and of course catnip or honeysuckle and valerian sacks make them so more chilled also most love the little red dot of laser pointer toys and can interact with you but not be to close till they get the confidence - I have my unhandlable ferals leaping around like kittens with a laser pen

We have a lot of shy cats and ferals who have had no human contact and used these idea's and have some who are so like domestics and some who are in training

[Kay and Penny]

if she continues to be wary of your gf, she could try wearing a sweater you have worn, or putting it on her lap when Sadie is around, so your and gf's scents merge

does your gf wear perfume though? some cats can be deterred by it

[Tiggy's Mum]

  to Purrs

My first words were going to be 'Feliway diffuser' but then I saw you already have one on the go! I have a very affectionate and loving but very sensitive cat who is like a different cat with the Feliway plugged in, so much more confident and cheeky 

Something else which I've used successfully in the past is Rescue Remedy (after he had a frightening/traumatic experience) and was very impressed with that too. I know several of the rescues use Rescue Remedy with good results too. You just rub two tiny drops on each outer ear once a day, others put it in water.

More info here: http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,9929.msg161314.html#msg161314

Sadie is beautiful btw 

[clarenmax]

Defo agree with lots of patience, and treats for bribary 

That sounds like a real breakthrough that you had this morning, showing their tummy makes them very vulnerable so I doubt she'd do that if she felt nervous 

Some cats just take longer than others, our boy Poot was very skittish to start with and he's fine with people he knows, still a bit unsure of strangers though!

She's gorgeous by the way 

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

Hints and tips on how to bond with your furbabe on here:  http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,4793.0.html

[jezebel]

I can sympathise, I have a shy cat too (and it's not helped by the fact that her sister is one of the most extrovert cats I've ever met!).

Someone kindly directed me to this thread for some excellent advice: http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,34540.0.html.

It sounds as though Sadie (she's gorgeous BTW!) has had quite a lot to contend with so far so it's not surprising it's taking her a while to settle in. As others have said (and said to me!), it's just time. Oh, and a variety of cat treats and lots of interactive play!

Our cat Bass is slowly coming out of herself, although at times it does seem like one step forward, two steps back. I found the Feliway spray worked better than the plug-in, and we started giving her Kitzyme conditioning tablets last week - they're supposed to be good for nerves (all those B vitamins!) and I don't know whether it's a coincidence but she does seem a lot more confident.

[Alex S]

Thanks everyone. Weirdly when i got up and came into the living room this morning she was sunbathing on the sofa so i approached her to say good morning. I expected her to jump down and disappear underneath but instead she looked at me, let out a little chirrup and started squirming around having her tummy rubbed, then gave me a little play bite and licked my hand. First time that's happened.

I hate to say it but i think she's having trouble warming to my gf, i'm more relaxed around the flat than her and spend far more time with Sadie given that i go to bed later and leave for work later too. Although i spend more time "bothering" her and giving her attention she seems to be far far more at ease with me. The missus does have a few days off in the flat on her own this week and she's under strict instructions to do some bonding, though!!

[Desley (booktigger)]

Time and patience. I would be tempted to make the lounge her safe room and keep her in there as much as possible for a while, and just sit and ignore her, or use fishing rod toys to interact with her.

[Stuart]

Hi Alex and  to Purrs

sure some members will be along soon to give you some tips

But I'd say the secret for Sadie, is Time + Dreamies  find what she Loves to eat
and she'll soon come out of her shell and start to trust you 

She's an absolute Doll btw 

[Alex S]

Hi everyone, first post!

My girlfriend and i adopted a very shy little tabby about three months ago (we are unsure of her age, previous owner said she was two, vet said she could be five but she has a very kitten like face so i don't know who to believe) and after a good few weeks hidden in the tiniest places she could find around our flat she's coming along very well. She now wanders around the living room happily though never up to either of us for attention and spends the rest of her time under a sofa or curled up in her little iglu. We have had her on Zylkene and there is a feliway diffuser in the room however as soon as she is either in the bedroom or in the hall she becomes terrified of us and shows no signs of calming down.

I understand she will need a very long time to adapt to her new home but she seems to have settled so far but what i want to know is how we can make positive steps towards really cementing her trust in us and the safety of her new environment. We want her to be happy and she does seem to be but can relapse and be terrified for days sometimes. On her good days she will sit on a sofa away from us or chase her little wand but that's about it. She loves her food and will circle my legs while i make it for her but treats are certainly not working as well as they used to.

I'm starting to ramble here but i would love to know any methods that can be used to help fully settle a very cautious young cat. She was rehomed with us as an indoor cat and shows absolutely no sign of wanting to go out, she has in the past at her previous home but was terrorised by a dog next door, she also came from a household with eight other cats which has obviously not helped her shyness.

Any help would be fantastic!

Here's Sadie: