When is too soon???

[Ellen2010]

You will know when the time is right and fate will play a big part in this.  I lost a 4 year old cat to Lymphoma 4 days before Christmas and yes the rescues do not home during this period so knew that was definately a no no there and was just not ready to get another cat.  It took nearly 6 months to get another cat.  I had heard about 3 kittens back in April and when I went to see about them got told they all had homes but left my telephone number in case any of the homes she had lined up for them let her down.  Middle of June I got a phone call and all the homes had let the person down so I had a choice of two identical boys or a tabby female.

I ended up calling the kitten they had called Charlie but the name never seemed to suit him so ended up calling him Domino, yes he does some things that my cat did that I lost in December but also he will come and tap me on the arm when he thinks I should be giving him cuddles and love.

Saying that I lost another cat 18 months ago who was very vocal and I took in as she was dumped in a carrier bag in my garden aged 6 weeks old and at the moment have not been able to fetch myself to even go to a shelter or even look at any kittens.  I think it could be that I lost two cats within 13 months that has stopped me even contemplating me going and looking but I do also foster cats as well again now which I stopped when the one I lost just before christmas became ill.

So in a way I am helping more that need the helping hand until they can find a forever home than I would of done if I had adopted another cat.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I hated cats and one day nearly exactly 15 years ago Kocka wanderd into my life and I had never had an animal but she became tthe love of my life, She went to the Bridge on 23 July 2005 and I was devasted and still am but within 24 hrs I knew I need a cat in my house and went to meet the two that came  to me only 4 days after her leaving me,

 They came to live here exactly one week after her passing to the Bridge and just touching acat again helped me no end.

Its hard to believe that Bank Holiday Monday will be the anniversary of Kocka arriving in my garden forf the first time and totally changing my life.

As ther others have said there is no right time and you will know when the time is right. 

[JackSpratt]

You definitely do compare, but the more you have the new family member around the more you notice their little quirks and that becomes endearing. Possum was irreplaceable (as all Bridge Babes are) but a new family member will also quickly ingratiate his or her way into your heart.

I hope both you and Alex are coping and send you a hug.

[puggy1975 Zoe]

I dont think i could ever be without a cat in my life.

I dont see it as replacing a lost one but giving another baby a chance in life and giving them lots of love and a caring home, no lost pet will ever be forgotten but giving another a chance in life and love they need is amazing. They will have their own we character and love to give also

[Desley (booktigger)]

I am sorry for your loss, as others have said, there is no set time - when I lost my first cat, I went to the rescvue the day after losing her, as the house was too empty. I think this poem helps a lot in situations like this.

Last Will and Testament of a Cat

I too, would make a will
if I could write
To some poor wistful, lonely
stray I leave my happy home.
My dish, my cosy bed
my cushioned chair, my toy.
The well loved lap
The gently stroking hand
The loving voice
The place I made in someone's heart
The love, that at the last
Could help me to a peaceful,
painless end
Held in loving arms
If I should die
Oh, do not say
"No more a pet I'll have
To grieve me by its loss"
Seek out a lonely, unloved cat
And give my place to him.
This is my legacy
the love I leave behind
Tis all I have to give

Margaret Trowton

[Guest]

I think everyone has made very valid points and I guess Alex & I will have another discussion about it. When you've grown up with animals, your life is just so wrong without them!

One of my worries is comparing the new addition to Possum, even though I know how ridiculous that sounds, because each cat is an individual, but I'm sure you all appreciate where I'm coming from.

Poss' had so many kooky behaviours that I suppose I may expect the same off the new furbaby. However, as we bond, I'm sure new kooky behaviour will occur!!

I will let you know what happens!

Thanks again for all your kind words   

You will compare. It took me 13 years to get another cat after my first was run over. There are things Ella and Effie do that Deano never used to and things I used to get from Deano that Ella and Effie don't. It's those things that make them unique. You compare but not in a bad way, BUT it means they never do replace - which is great!!

[Cooper & Peanut]

 

I think everyone has made very valid points and I guess Alex & I will have another discussion about it. When you've grown up with animals, your life is just so wrong without them!

One of my worries is comparing the new addition to Possum, even though I know how ridiculous that sounds, because each cat is an individual, but I'm sure you all appreciate where I'm coming from.

Poss' had so many kooky behaviours that I suppose I may expect the same off the new furbaby. However, as we bond, I'm sure new kooky behaviour will occur!!

I will let you know what happens!

Thanks again for all your kind words   

[Abcynthia]

Im sorry for your loss

I agree with everyone. There is no set amount of time. It still hasn't been a month since we lost our Ty in the awful manner in which we did (Someone allowed their dog to attack him at 1am in the morning. They just ran off, not alerting anyone and we found him 2 days later ). One of my neighbours came to the door when she heard and started saying about a cat needing a home. This was half an hour after we found him and I just wanted to scream I DON'T WANT ANOTHER CAT! I WANT TY! We still had our other cat Tabi and she seemed lost. A week later I couldn't take the silence. Ty was always the noisy one whereas Tabi is quiet. Ty always came to ask for his dinner at 5pm. Everytime I sat and listened to how quiet the house was it reminded me he wasn't there anymore. So now here I sit with our new arrivals - a mother and her kitten! I can tell you it is not quiet at all now! I did cry when we picked them up as it was the final note in my head that Ty wasn't coming back, but I know he'd be happy we have given some kitties a home that someone wanted "rid" of. I still think of him every day, but I know I have done the right thing in his honour!

Don't let anyone tell you when...you'll know when you are ready

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

I agree with what everyone else has said.  The right time is when it feels right.  Sometimes that's straight away and sometimes it takes a while before you're ready to take on another cat.   When I lost my Magpie 4 years ago, it was about 5 months before I got another cat, but that was mainly due to circumstances such as the fact that I lost him at the end of Ocotober and knew I was going away over xmas (so not the best time to be getting a new cat), I was looking for an indoor cat and so on.   

[Kirst]

I can only echo what the others have said - a week after losing Oscar other half and I decided there was room in our hearts and homes for another.  Jerry and Gizmo were on the rehoming board here all ready and waiting.....................

[Pinkbear (Julie)]

When I loose one of mine (and sadly there have been a few losses over the years  ) they seem to 'send a replacement', usually within a few days.  It may be that a stray cat simply walks in my door needing my help, or I see a poster in an unexpected situation, or a desperate plea... whichever way the new arrival comes I always know the one that has recently left me has had a hand in it. 

My record for acquiring a new cat was exactly 10 minutes. I said goodbye to a much loved cat who had developed sudden and fatal liver failure and while I was sitting in the car outside blubbing and taking a moment to reflect, a car sped up to the door, dumped a box outside the surgery and sped off again. I had to go investigate.... inside the box was a middle aged Tabby and White female I later called Twinkle along with a note that said "she keeps p***ing all over the house and we can't stand it anymore".  She came home with me and never sprayed once in the next seven years I cared for her. 

It's not that I don't feel a great sense of loss when I lose a pet. They are all unique and irreplaceable, but alas so many deserving cats need help I feel the perfect way to honour their passing is to open my door to the next one. The next one is a living memorial to the previous one. 

[blackcat]

I love all of my animals and the loss of one breaks my heart. But I will usually go out within a couple of days to get another as I find I can not live without their presence. 'Too soon' is before you are ready to make a place in your home for another. Given unlimited money and facilities - that would be every day for me ...

[Cooper & Peanut]

Thank you for your comments   

I suppose I know deep down that there is no answer and it will be down to us knowing when the time is right.  I guess we were feeling guilty for thinking of adopting another cat so soon after losing Poss', that somehow we were seeking approval!

I do think that having another furbaby to look after will help heal the pain of losing Possum, as it will stop us having the time to think and feel the emptiness. We will always have a special place in our hearts for Poss, and her memory will, without a shadow of a doubt, live on.

Furry Purr hugs to you all
Hayley & Alex 

[Guest]

You have love and a stable home to give. Possum was your cat, she can never be replaced but that love will always be there. However you will want and CAN love a new cat nothing is wrong with that.

Another cat needs you. There are so many that need a home. You are not replacing Possum but you are giving another cat the chance to have the charmed and loved life Possum did x

[JackSpratt]

If you feel ready to give a home to another little one, it in no way detracts from how much you loved Possum. 

[Tiggy's Mum]

There's no set time, it's simply when you feel ready 

Also you would never be 'replacing' her, whether you wait one day or a thousand days. You will also never stop loving her, and adopting another cat would not stop you from loving or missing her 

When I lost my childhood cat just short of her 19th Birthday I was devastated and thought that I would never love another cat like I love her. I went to see my two boys just one week after she was put to sleep, I felt guilty and somehow disloyal but I knew that adopting them wouldn't stop me loving her. I had to wait until the boys were old enough to come home so had to wait a few more weeks until I actually adopted them but it was the best thing I ever did. I didn't think it was possible but I love them as much as I love her and they filled a very sad time with happines 

 I think Possum would be pleased that another cat was able to experience the same love and wonderful home that she did, whether that be tomorrow or in the distant future 

[clarenmax]

There's no simple answer to this, apart from as soon as you feel ready 

I lost Max last year on 31st July, by 14th August we'd adopted Poot, which was quite fast, but I do think a lot of fate was involved in this as Max was FIV+, as is Mr Poot, and I do have a real soft spot for the harder to home babies, especially as I have experience in this condition - I think it was meant to be.

You'll never replace Possum, and you wouldn't want to, but if you feel ready to open your hearts and home to another furbabe in need, then I'm sure that Possum will be very proud of you, and smiling down from Rainbow Bridge 

[Cooper & Peanut]

I just want to put this question out there.....as it's something that got brought up in conversation today with my boyfriend.

We lost our precious furbaby, Possum, 11 days ago. We are heartbroken and feel totally lost without her  .

Although we could never (nor would we ever want to) replace her, the house is so empty and soulless without our little feline baby, that at some point we will have another cat (although not any time soon... )

The question is, how long is acceptable to move on and welcome a new addition to the family??