Pepsi feeling left out? Worried about Darcy now as well

[purrdy1]

  wow JS it does look similar...good tihnking....i wonder???

[JackSpratt]

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2566/3824850564_0a17ef4416.jpg

This is a cat with ringworm. Not sure how common it is in cats, but does it look anything like that?

Carrie had licking lesions when we first got Toby. It took her a while to realise that she was allowed to boss him around as well as Jack. (She mothered Jack immediately but wasn't sure how to react to Toby, who was always a really quiet, relaxed boy.)

[purrdy1]

  my first thought was stress?...then perhaps an allergy...(and of course fleas etc) have you changed food? even wahisng powder , used for his bedding that sort of thing....He looks vry well and bright othrwise doesnt he.

Mycousin had a cat that groomed excessively...he had two bald legs....vet said nothing to worry about.....

seems like an excema or something doesnt it?......can cats get skin mites???? the waethter has been hot recently?

im not a vet...but have made a few suggestions!!! let us know how he is and lots of love to them! xxxxx

[Tiggy's Mum]

Poor little lamb

If you're going to give Feliway a go then Viovet is normally the cheapest, £21.93 inc p&p for the plug unit  with a refill. I normally use VetUK for Frontline etc but they are normally a bit dearer for Feliway, just had a quick look and it's £22.58 inc p&p on VetUK.

{link removed to supplier as they have let down rescue cats and Purrs will not support them}

You might find one months worth is enough to relax things a bit so then you can save the plug unit for if you ever need to use it again, say if/when you move house, and buy the refill seperately.

and let us know how he gets on.

P.S He is soooooo cute 

[Steff - Petsearch Bedford HQ]

I got my feliway from zooplus, it wasn't the cheapest place but I already had an account with them and have never had any problems with them. All my 3 are just generally a lot happy now feliway is here, if you get it I hope it helps Darcy and his bald patches and generally helps Darcy and Pepsi get on a bit better

[McHaggis]

Yep that's what a lot of people have said and it sounds like it will help, where's the best/chapest place to get it from?

I got it from the vet but I think you can get it online

Hope Darcy is better soon and things settle down

Kisses to him and Pepsi xxxx

[Millys Mum]

I use vet uk or viovet, it may be abit cheaper elsewhere but i like to use trustworthy sites, hate the first time i order anywhere new 

[Claire_smc]

Yep that's what a lot of people have said and it sounds like it will help, where's the best/chapest place to get it from?

[Millys Mum]

You could try some feliway to see if that will help

[Claire_smc]

Will maybe give the vets a ring and see what they say, I do think it's more stress than anything as he's been through a lot in the past couple of months, I'm pretty sure that him licking me is psychological so the self grooming just seems to be an extension of that. He has been doing it for a while but not so much that he's pulled his fur out, that's just been in the past few days.

[Millys Mum]

  it could be stress plucking, but i would first off rule out with your vet any medical causes, its more common in dogs but they can get hot spots which are diet related, our old collie cross got them at times.
Also make sure house/cat flea treatments are up todate 

[Claire_smc]

You can see his poor little bald patches 

[Claire_smc]

Pepsi blushed coquettishly when I told her about this, and mewed her thanks 

Darcy, on the other hand, is behaving weirdly and I'm starting to worry about him a little bit. I've been at my mam's for the past few days as she was throwing me a big engagement party and I was there from Thursday to help her organise it. Then Si came round on the Friday so the cats have been with Phil for the past few days. I came home yesterday and noticed that Darcy has 3 little tiny bald patches in his fur along his side. He hasn't been scratched, but I noticed he has been obsessively grooming and licking himself for a little while now, so realised that this is what caused the little bald patches. I think it's tying in with him licking me when he's sat with me, which no matter what I do, he still won't stop. This morning I was sat with him on my lap and he jumped onto the arm of the sofa and started grooming again, he licks a bit also seems to bite and pull at the fur too, and he caused one of the little bald patches to start bleeding  I've been out at work for the afternoon and when I came home Si and Phil said he's been acting a bit strangely, whereas he'd normally sit inside his bed or on the sofa, he's been sitting on the kitchen floor and meowing, plus he's been hiding and getting into places he's never been before like up in the kitchen shelves and in the gap between the unit and the washing machine, when I came home he was sitting in the hidey tent in the scratching post and wouldn't come out for a little while. When I came home I started playing with the dangly mousy toy with him and he didn't seem bothered by it, and when he was chasing it he'd suddenly stop and start grooming himself again 

[McHaggis]

Hey Claire

I hope things are settling down a little. 

Things were so tiring here for the first week or two and I REALLY wondered if I had done the right thing.
I bought a feliway diffuser almost as soon as I got Rosie. My two were tolerating one another better that Darcy and Pepsi I guess but Haggis was cornering her and hurting her a lot.
I used a water sprayer at these times , giving Haggis a wee squirt on the head. He would jump off and I truly believe it settled him down within a day or two of using it. I also gave him lots of treats and cuddles and made a fuss of him.

Things are much better now with only minor incidents of being too rough with her and she is fighting back and often chases him now even though he is 4 times her size.

I hope they settle down ...........I want to hug Pepsi cause I still say she is the MOST Attractive cat I have ever seen( up there with Haggis and Rosie    )

Hope you find the solution soon
Kisses from us 3
Gillian x

 

Ditto to all of the above...except the bit about Pepsipuss being the most attractive cat....... twiggy and fern too? ...lol xxxx

of course it goes without saying that Twiggy and Fern are tabbies and are right up there......... I love all cats really but Pepsi is 

 

[purrdy1]

Hey Claire

I hope things are settling down a little. 

Things were so tiring here for the first week or two and I REALLY wondered if I had done the right thing.
I bought a feliway diffuser almost as soon as I got Rosie. My two were tolerating one another better that Darcy and Pepsi I guess but Haggis was cornering her and hurting her a lot.
I used a water sprayer at these times , giving Haggis a wee squirt on the head. He would jump off and I truly believe it settled him down within a day or two of using it. I also gave him lots of treats and cuddles and made a fuss of him.

Things are much better now with only minor incidents of being too rough with her and she is fighting back and often chases him now even though he is 4 times her size.

I hope they settle down ...........I want to hug Pepsi cause I still say she is the MOST Attractive cat I have ever seen( up there with Haggis and Rosie    )

Hope you find the solution soon
Kisses from us 3
Gillian x

 

Ditto to all of the above...except the bit about Pepsipuss being the most attractive cat....... twiggy and fern too? ...lol xxxx

[McHaggis]

Hey Claire

I hope things are settling down a little. 

Things were so tiring here for the first week or two and I REALLY wondered if I had done the right thing.
I bought a feliway diffuser almost as soon as I got Rosie. My two were tolerating one another better that Darcy and Pepsi I guess but Haggis was cornering her and hurting her a lot.
I used a water sprayer at these times , giving Haggis a wee squirt on the head. He would jump off and I truly believe it settled him down within a day or two of using it. I also gave him lots of treats and cuddles and made a fuss of him.

Things are much better now with only minor incidents of being too rough with her and she is fighting back and often chases him now even though he is 4 times her size.

I hope they settle down ...........I want to hug Pepsi cause I still say she is the MOST Attractive cat I have ever seen( up there with Haggis and Rosie    )

Hope you find the solution soon
Kisses from us 3
Gillian x

 

[Steff - Petsearch Bedford HQ]

I have to send that Feliway was a god send for my lot.

Bourneville & Marble were 5 & 4 (respectively) when Soap joined us as a 12 week old kitten in Jan this year. I swear she is the craziest cat I have ever known and wanted to play all the time. Now Bourneville is a playful boy but never really got to play with Marble cos she so "too sensible" to play so Soap joining us was great for Bourneville but no so for Marble cos she now had two cats wanting to play with her!! Soap was really quite naughty though and would try to ambush Marble and chase her etc. Marble always used to like a lot of time on her own (she was quite anti social) but her time alone increased when Soap joined which worried me.

So I got a Feliway diffuser and within a week I noticed a change in both Marble and Soap.

Now everyone gets along great...but do I take out the diffuser...that is the question??

Sorry Claire, in short I'd recommend Feliway

[Claire_smc]

  I'll look into getting some Feliway sorted out. I'll try some clicker training too, as he's still only a kitten he'll hopefully pick it up quickly I had a thought that maybe letting him out of the house when we move might improve the situation a bit but I don't know if I'm comfortable with that  Since he's come into our house he's never showed any inclination to go back outside, he doesn't even sit and look out the windows or anything and just seems happy most of the time to sit and cuddle on my lap. Plus with him previously living outside for a long time I'd be scared he'd go back out and never come back. I've always wanted inside-only cats for other reasons too, but I can't help thinking that some Darcy-free time would help Pepsi out a bit. I think I'll just have to see how it is in a month or two when we start looking for new houses.

[cheekycj]

Hiya Claire,

Its awfull isnt it when the little ones dont seem to be getting along  .....i know exactly how you feel, ive had bother with my two boys, much like your situation.

Ive got Charlie (the baby about 2yrs old, very clingy, insecure) and Joey (about 7-9 yrs old, very laid back, affectionate).  Charlie going after Joey all the time, Joey cant be bothered with him.....wanting to go out staying away from the house longer and longer........me worried sick 

I asked the vets what can i do to help them settle they suggested Feliway.  Got the plug.....took about 2 weeks for me to really see a difference in their behaviour, they became much more settled   

I think that is your best course of action.....the plug or the spray or even both........ cat pheromone overload 

When Darcy is acting up i wouldnt shout at him tho....this can cause him to become even more insecure.....when Charlie acts up i just talk to him, try to calm him down 

Hope things inprove for you soon 

cj

[Fire Fox]

Maybe you could try clicker training? Noah learns super quickly what behaviour gets rewarded, I have read about it being used as part of introductions or to stop antisocial behaviour.

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

Boisterous and gangly and daft???

What a fab description - suits Mosi to a T!

[Claire_smc]

Thanks guys, I think I'm just having a bad day, feeling bad because Pepsi is still constantly sitting on top of the TV on Si's desk as it's pretty much the only place where Darcy doesn't chase her, and she still won't come over for cuddles which I'm missing a lot. This is also the first time that she's physically injured Darcy, and they've been scrapping more often than usual so it's getting me down a bit. Tried talking to OH about it but he says she's just being miserable and being in a sulk  which she is! but she wouldn't be if Darcy wasn't here

Every other time when Darcy chases her I will shout at him and chase him away, it was only because he'd been scratched that I gave him a cuddle, he was looking a bit sorry for himself and I couldn't help it. In every other respect I've been putting Pepsi first, when treats are being dished out she will get hers first and get more than Darcy, she gets her food and water dishes filled first and on the rare occassions that she looks like she wants to come over for a cuddle I'll put Darcy on the floor to make room for her.

Yeah he's still a kitten, boisterous and gangly and daft is a perfect description of him  I do feel bad for him because you can see he just wants to be a kitten and play with her but Pepsi is like a grumpy old lady and doesn't get it, plus he pushes the boundaries with her and tries to see how cheeky he can be before she gets angry with him.

I've just looked at the date of the first post on this thread and realised that Darcy has only been here for about a month and a half  it feels like he's been here forever! I know it'll settle down, things seem to be getting better then getting worse again then settling down for a while.

[purrdy1]

im sure that with time as others have said, Darcy will settle...but he is a kitten right?,,,and a male kitten ???? Boisterous and gangly and daft??? bit like Twig and Fern...they drive teh two 'old girls' nuts!!

Mollie loved her cuddles and dribbles too but stopped all that.....she is back to hr old self now and will drape and dribble when she is in the mood!

Twiggy loves to hassle Tigger and butts and prrrps at her and rolls over in front of her....but Tigger hates it! Mollie will cuff them around the ear as a warning.....

im sure that some of this behavior is down to pecking orders!!!

it will improve im sure...but keep trying whats been suggested an keep us up t date

[Feline Costumier]

I also think you have to be careful not to reward Darcy, even if he is the injured party. By removing him and giving him a cuddle you are sending a very clear message that he's top cat and Pepsi comes second.

When Dave is being particularly boisterous and Chilli has hissed at him in annoyance I chase him away and give Chilli attention. Dave is horribly jealous and I have to work very hard to curb his jealous behaviour by only pandering to him the minimum amount I have to when it comes at the expense of Chilli.

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

Do you have feliway?  That might help Pepsi cope with Darcy constantly jumping on her.  Mosi is the same with Jaffa.  After 4 years he still does it although there are times when he does it less than others and Jaffa copes well most of the time, ie he mostly doesn't want it but will respond and put Mosi in his place and neither of them hurt each other.   The feliway spray works best (and quickest) imo.   I would also make sure Pepsi's claws are well trimmed!  And continue to try to distract Darcy so that he has something else to do other than "play" with Pepsi.

[Claire_smc]

Think we've had another breakdown in peace negotiations here For the past few days Darcy has been hassling Pepsi pretty constantly, chasing her and jumping up at her when she's sitting on the arms of the sofa. I think he just wants to play but she doesn't like it and it turns into a scrap and she'll swipe and hiss at him. I've been trying to keep him distracted with toys and things but as soon as I'm not paying him any attention he'll go after her again. Today they were in the kitchen and I heard them scrapping again and Pepsi screeching so I went in and Darcy had a little scratch on his nose where she's caught him with her claw, so I picked him up and brough him over to the sofa for a cuddle and to look at him and noticed something under his eye - it was one of Pepsi's claw caps  Thankfully it was only stuck in a tiny tiny amount, and it's not bleeding or anything but I feel terrible now - what if she'd actually caught him in his eye?! I thought that maybe that would have learnt him a bit of a lesson but nope, straight away he was chasing after her again  Not sure what to do tbh

[Millys Mum]

Your feeling torti wrath 

[Claire_smc]

I think Pepsi must have read what I wrote as today she's come over and is sat next to me even though Darcy is sat on the back of the sofa too  A few times she's looked as if she was slowly coming over but Darcy jumps straight on my lap or straight up on the sofa and she jumps out of his way and goes away again so when I saw her coming over I put him down to allow for some Pepsi time. I think he must be jealous though because he kept trying to climb up on my lap and mewing at me, he pretty much constantly wants to be sat with me so I'm going to have to do some kitty juggling  They seem to have gone through 3 phases - at first they avoided each other and there was a little bit of hissing, then it all seemed to go backwards and there was a lot of swiping and hissing and yowling as he wanted to play and chased her and tried to grab her big fluffy tail and she was having none of it! But now she seems to have put him in his place a little bit and he's realised she's not a very playful little lady and now they just studiously ignore each other 

So glad things worked out with Chilli and Dave! It does make you feel really bad, especially if it's the cat that was there first that's getting left out.

[Feline Costumier]

I had the same thing with Chilli and like you, I felt awful. It was more extreme too because she was a super cuddly smoochy girl and when I got Dave she pretty much would never come near me. Doesn't help that Dave is horrendously jealous and more often than not comes over and annoys her when she's having a cuddle and chases her off.

I just made sure to go and give her fuss wherever she was, always chatter away to her, let her have the first treat when they're getting given and generally tried to make her see that she was still loved despite the annoying imposter.

It's taken a good 18 months but she is nearly back to her old self (apart from the jealousy thing from Dave but she forgives him because she loves him), all purry and cuddly and dribbly. I now wake up wedged between two cats, her at the bottom and Dave a bit further up on the other side of my legs. Just recently, in the last few weeks, she has come and entwined her paws with my arms at bedtime, rested her head on my arm and fallen asleep with me

My perseverance was more than worth it and besides, she was only ever cheesed off with me so I was the only one punished for any significant length of time

[Claire_smc]

Before Darcy arrived Pepsi would sit with me on the sofa for cuddles, not all the time or even every night but fairly regularly, if she wasn't on my lap then she would sit next to me on the arm of the sofa. Since Darcy got here though as soon as I sit down on the sofa he jumps straight on my lap and stays there all night and Pepsi has taken to sitting on top of the monitor on the other side of the room. She won't come and settle near me if Darcy is on the sofa and I feel bad that she's being left out and not getting any cuddles. Even if Darcy is in his bed on the scratching post and I go and pick Pepsi up and bring her over, she'll jump straight down and go and sit in the other half of the room. Anyone got any ideas how I can make her feel more at ease and want to come and sit back on the sofa, or do you reckon she'll just adjust over time? I'm feeling a bit like a bad meowmy