I let Toby go to the Bridge on Thursday.
His health deteriorated badly from last Monday and he had no quality of life. Up until then, and his arthritis aside, he was in good health for a cat who would have been 14 in the Spring. In the space of a handful of days, he lost a lot of weight and his breathing became very laboured.
The vet confirmed that his heart was failing rapidly and that this had also affected his eyesight to the point that he was almost blind. Although I didn't get any tests done (it would not have been fair on him TBH), there was a high possibility that he had a tumour in his chest / lungs.
The best decision was to let him go while he still had some dignity left as it would not have been fair on him otherwise. There's no doubt that it was the right decision to make, but it doesn't make it any easier.
I buried him in the garden in a big patch of bluebells, wrapped in his favourite pawprint blankie. Have kept his collar and a trimming of fur in a pretty little trinket box so that I've got a purrmanent memento. And bless him, he sent me a big rainbow on Saturday morning while I was driving to Alcester.
Am going to miss you loads, Big Man. Am glad I had the chance to let you share my life and to spoil you rotten.