Stressed newbie with timid cats!

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

If you want to bond with your boys the best peice of advice I can give is for you and OH to spend as much time as possible at "cat level" ... this means sitting / lying on the floor.  You don't need to actually interact with the boys ... sometimes it's actually better to ignore them ... if you are doing somthing interesting (like reading a book) you will soon find that your boys will have to come over and investigate what is so much more interesting than them    We all know how much cats hate to be ignored! LOL.

If the boys are being playful then whilst sitting on the floor you could try encouraging them to interact with you by getting the to play with something like a piece of string or a shoe lace ... this will get them used to playing with you without you having to actually touch them.  This will help them to relax and your patience will be rewarded xxxx

This really is spot on advice and what has always helped me to bond with the timid cats I've helped in rescue as well as the one I had living with me for a short time.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I reckon they are teasing you 

They know how to teach a human, ignore them, send them into a panic and then nice things will appear 

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

If you want to bond with your boys the best peice of advice I can give is for you and OH to spend as much time as possible at "cat level" ... this means sitting / lying on the floor.  You don't need to actually interact with the boys ... sometimes it's actually better to ignore them ... if you are doing somthing interesting (like reading a book) you will soon find that your boys will have to come over and investigate what is so much more interesting than them    We all know how much cats hate to be ignored! LOL.

If the boys are being playful then whilst sitting on the floor you could try encouraging them to interact with you by getting the to play with something like a piece of string or a shoe lace ... this will get them used to playing with you without you having to actually touch them.  This will help them to relax and your patience will be rewarded xxxx

[anaismina]

thank you all for all the lovely welcome!  Well done Gill and Pav for being so patient, it's really good to know that they is light at the end of the tunnel 

I know it's going to be a long journey before they fully trust us, but the fact that they are on and off well it makes me feel as a bad "mummy"  and it's fair on them.

The carrier is in the hall and the boys loves to  use it during their play fights, unfortunately they don't like it when they need to go to the vet.  they love to show me how  easy it is to go inside when they want 

The picture in the previous post was of last week, when they're well, they like to play and they let me touch them sometimes - especially when there is food around! -  which is fine as it means that with time they will get friendlier. They love to nap on my clothes, must like my perfume  but are still scared of Mr Matthau - my bf -. Luckily he's ok with it and knows that we will need time and patience. I took some pics and went to the vet - it's a London practice and they too don't do home visits but they know the situation and they were happy to use look at the pics  as a starting point so Leo and Tiger  will avoid another journey. The vet is also a bit annoyed with the rescue center because of the medical history and they also called -  bless them. I feel l am becoming a stalker as I daily call the centre  to know when they're sending the docs! Need to take a few more pics tonight, check a few things and go back tomorrow so that I can have the right antibiotics.  It could be a simple cold or at worst even herpes, but it needs be taken care of. in an ideal world, the vet would to do all the test, but they know t would be too stressful for them.

I have started giving them 1/3 spoon of salmon oil,  I read it's good to boost the immune system and helps recover sooner from infections.

I might be overreacting... my mum is worse, she keeps on calling me to " check  the boys are ok" must be running in the family!

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

Hi Mina - welcome to Purrs    Your babies are gorgeous!! 

I would echo much of the advice given already.  Take it nice and steady, one day at a time.  Ignore the cats when you go about your daily business, and in time, when they realise they aren't coming to any harm, they'll get curious and will begin to make their own moves.  In that way their confidence will increase and their trust will be gained. 

Glad you posted, Gill - you know better than most what traumas can be caused by cats who don't want to go into cat carriers.   

For what it's worth - they don't look that "not well" to me - they look extremely comfortable, well looked after cats.   

[Bazsmum]

  to Purrs Mina....

Your babes are beautiful....I was expecting a much scarier scene than the pic provided....Games, slow blinking, ground level contact, treats...Life is fun (or should be ) at their time of life! 

I took on two semi feral kittens at the age of 3 months, lots of stimuli is needed, a soft voice, Im sure one will be a bit more cheekier than the other, make most contact with that one...the other will follow!

Good Luck and please keep us posted on their/your progress! 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

  to Purrs 

Love your cats 

I have a semi feral who I have had 4 years soon and still cant touch her. I have to trap her to get her to the vets once a year........sigh

Concerning vet visits , have you tried leaving their carrier in the room they like to be in. Make sure the door cant close and set it up with a blanket and food 

Sometimes they will use it as a bed sometimes not 

Just be patients with them and it does sound like they are starting to open up but it can take a long time .

[pappilon]

Hi Mina  to Purrs, your boys are gorgeous.
I adopted my cat Phoebe 2 years ago from Mayhew animal home and she was described as aggressive by previous owners, it took me more than 18 months to earn her trust . I gave her time and space, she was scared and very nervous at the start but once she felt she is safe she started to come around  and now she sits on my knee and let me stroke her, its so rewarding to see trust in her eyes. I still have to sedate her to get her to vets and i don't think that would change but she had 10 years of people treating her awful 
I think you should be patient and give them time, they are young cats and i am sure it wont be long before they come to you and you see changes, as for calling your branch cant you leave them a message and tell some one to call you back? They should have a re-homing officer who is responsible to deal with people .
I hope you can get the vet to do home visits, i live in London and my old vet did home visit but the new one doesnt!

Pav , Phoebe and Boy x

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

 

What gorgeous boys.  I'm sure with lots of patience and love they will soon come round and slowly grow in confidence.

Sam, Foxy, Zephyr and Rossi xxx

[bonnielass]

Hello Mina and a warm  to purrs, your 2 boys are beautiful, i always find with timid ones that if you just go about your daily routine and talk to them without trying to touch they get very curious and come to find you and with a bit of patence they soon blossom

[Tiggy's Mum]

What gorgeous little boys  I don't have any personal experience of timid cats myself but I've learnt so much from reading this site, have you tried just sitting in a room with them (with the door shut) and reading a book, cats are nosey little things and hate being ignored so they'll probably end up coming over to explore.  You can feed them a few treats if they'll take them from you or play with a piece of string.

Hope the health issue can be sorted out, if they are flu carriers stress can contribute to any flare ups so hopefully once they're well and truly settled in it won't cause them any problems 

This link may be helpful - http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,14319.0.html

[anaismina]

hi Debs

thanks for the prompt response and the warm welcome! Will check if the vet can do home visits. Here is a nice pic of the boys, Tiger sleeps in the red blanket and Leo in the blue sheet. 

They are really lovely boys and it's a shame that I can't make them feel better as they were starting to blossom.

I am sure they have been mishandled as i cannot move my hand towards them on top of their head, they always shake. obviously I am avoiding this now.

Tiger sometimes sleeps on the bed and is now OK with morning big strokes on this head, he even purrs (a bit)! 

Leo  sleeps under the bed, even if they have their own bed. He's a chatterbox, we sometimes have the odd conversation but now that he sees his brother allowing me to stroke him in the morning, he is slowing opening up and I managed to stroke him twice last week!!! He is fearless when there is food around, they both eat from my hand and they both rub their legs whist I prepare the food.

So when they want to be fed, they are less timid but once they had they had their meal, see you later! I guess it's only fair as they still need some time to get to know us.

Still, now that they are unwell they are back hiding. I keep on calling the local branch but they always have the answering machine on. We can't even say the word v.e.t as they run under the sofa!

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

Hi Mina and welcome to Purrs.... sorry you're having such a hard time but they will be worth it in the end.  Cats can be timid for a number of reasons- some just are and isn't always due to abuse, it can just be in their nature. I do think it's very naughty of the said rescue to not supply proper information and support. I think you need to call them tomorrow and INSIST they help and provide the documentation that is needed- it's not good enough to rehome cats with issues (sounds as though they may be flu carriers) without properly informing the new owners of everything. If you know what you're dealing with then it doesn't mean you won't adopt, it just means you will know how to sort it.
Once your cats are well they will slowly learn to trust you and become more social with you. They may never be lap cats but I am sure with time, they will show their love in other ways. Well done for giving 2 timid cats a chance, so many get overlooked for their more in your face counterparts.
It would probably be better to get the vet to come out to your home if they will rather than trying to get them in the cat basket just as they are getting more confident.
Enjoy Purrs

Debs and the boys x

[anaismina]

hi all,

I am Mina, live in London together with my lovely grumpy boyfriend and Leo & Tiger, 2 timid brothers of 10 months, that have joined us 2 months ago. 

Back in Italy, I had a very friendly cat for 18 years and thought that, with patience and love, we could bring them out of their shyness. I have no experience with timid cats. It's been almost 2 months and, thanks to feliway, rescue remedy, etc... they no longer run away when I enter the room.

I still haven't received their background / medical history from the rspca. I can see that they have been badly abused, which very upsetting as it may well have happened when they were kittens. I also don't know if they had any illness that can reoccur.

We had to take them to the vet twice: watery eyes,a few sneezes, runny nose. lethargic and (ahem) runny poo (sorry). The first time it took us 2 hours to "catch them" and we were all so stressed that Tiger hissed at the vet. First and only time I saw him so aggressive! The second time, we sedated them and the vet said they might have had cat flu but were now fine.

Since the second visit, we are back at the first weeks and they are no longer playing with us. The vet said that they need some stability and that we wait until they settle down to visit them properly.

Now, it's back all over again. I am worried because they don't look well:  I still haven't received their medical history so I don't know if they had any that could come back.

I will speak to the vet tomorrow. In the meantime, I don't know what to do.

Any suggestions? Can I ask the vet to run some tests if I bring to them (I could do this with the vet in Italy)? I know I need to be patient, but it's so stressful not to be able to help them or at least make them understand that we only want them to be well.

Sorry for the long post!Hopefully will be able to bring some good news and lovely pics soon!

Mina