He's in his new home :(/ :)

[west0405]

They called to say he had miowed his way out of his room, had strutted round sussing the place out and then laid down in the middle of the living room floor! Guess it just goes to prove his timidness at the start really was down to the other cats! They're going to e mail me once he's properly settled but I already feel better knowing that he's OK.

Oh bless him. He must have instantly relaxed as soon as he smelt that there was no other cats around maybe? That is the first time that has happened to him I suppose. Oh he is going to have such a wonderful life Debs 
Thank you for everything you have done for him. Without you he would not have ended up with his perfect family x x x x

Hope your house settles again and you get happy soon 

[Millys Mum]

Im glad he has settled so quickly  you made the right decision, now all the cats involved can live happy contented lives rather than anxious ones.

Wow he is settling in well...must of been cos he was'nt used to the other cats as he sound content being on his own! 

He lived with 2 before, was too dominant for debs other babies 

[Bazsmum]

Wow he is settling in well...must of been cos he was'nt used to the other cats as he sound content being on his own! 

[clarenmax]

Awwww, sounds like this is a positive move for him 

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

They called to say he had miowed his way out of his room, had strutted round sussing the place out and then laid down in the middle of the living room floor! Guess it just goes to prove his timidness at the start really was down to the other cats! They're going to e mail me once he's properly settled but I already feel better knowing that he's OK.

[clarenmax]

Sending you a big 

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

Mojo was picked up by his new owers about half an hour ago. They only live 20 minutes away so I am sure he's home by now. Been very teary all day and finding it really hard but the fact that they are so nice makes it easier. He really is going to have such a nice life with them. I don't think I could have found anyone nicer to have him.
Mum and Dad are coming up from Brighton to cheer me up this evening as I was a blubbering wreck on the phone.

I know it's the best thing for him but my god, it is so hard! I shall put the updates on here as I get them as I know he's part of the Purrs family xxx

[west0405]

 

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

I have spent the majority of the day in Mojo's room with him and although I am so pleased he has such a wonderful home to go to and I know he will be much happier as an only cat, I can't help but sit here and have a cry at how much I am going to miss him. He is the loveliest boy and has spent the whole day sitting on me, purring away and giving me such a lovely fuss. I do know that we're doing the right thing for him but my god, is it hard! I would like to think I'd do the same for any of my cats if I knew they'd be happier elsewhere but I really hope it never happens again as it is just heartbreaking.  I know that a life of arguing and being territorial is no fun for anyone though so know he'll be happier.
In a way, it'll be easier once he is in his new home because I won't have that constant feeling of dread.

On a positive note, Oscar came upstairs last night for the first time since Mojo has been here. (apart from  the first few days before Mojo started seeing him off) He is getting back to being my confident, soppy boy who comes to bed every night now I hope. Jasper is no longer hiding and Monty has gone back to using his litter tray rather than the floor, I really do have happier cats now that my gorgeous boy Moj is separate. Because they haven't seen him for over a week, I am sure they think he has gone. Mojo himself, although annoyed by being in the spare room, has also seemed more relaxed and is no longer grumbling and hissing all teh time- all adds up to how much he will be better off as king of his castle with LOTS of human contact rather than cat!

His new family text me again today, they are genuinely so excited to be having him
 

[Dawn F]

glad Mojo has a new home but well done for trying Debs, sometimes it just doesn't work out and accepting it is very hard

[Sheli_80]

I'm realy glad it all worked out for the best, Mojo's new home sounds perfect and I'm sure he will just love it there.

I can't imagine how hard it must have been to come to such a hard decision but good on you for putting Mojo first. 

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

Mojo's new family called today just to touch base, he's gonna be sooo loved!

[west0405]

So pleased for him, for you and for Leigh  I was sooooo tempted to apply to adopt Mojo when I first saw he needed a new home so it could have been me that was in such a sad position now

HAVE YOU TOLD THEM ABOUT THE RULE????!!!! ....Constant email updates with lot's of photo's, preferably becoming a member on Purrs!   

You should add that into the rehoming contract 

To be honest I was almost tempted again myself but I knew it was just me being unrealsitic and thinking about myself and not Mojo, (oops, or baby!!!  )

Mojo will love his new home and it makes me have a funny warm feeling to know that he is going to be king of the castle somewhere for a very long time to come. Even if it isn't here or with Debbie


As for that being in the rehoming contract... Angie put it in Dylan & Smudge's and then Mojo's too!!! I thought that was common place!!! 

x x x x

[Bazsmum]

Fab news! 

[Janeyk]

Great news Debs 

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

That's really great news 

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

Yes Leigh, it's the family I told you about with the two lovliest children. Both kids are quite sensible and the little girl especially is cat mad! They have already started buying him toys and are all quite smitten with him. Although he was quite shy when they met him, he was friendly enough that they saw his potential and realise when he's in the right environment he will be a real attention seeking boy. I have already seen what a sweetie he is even though stressed by the other cats so he will be just amazing with no cats to annoy him and all that attention!
Apparantly when they left the little boy said; 'Well as I love him already but we all have to like him, lets have a vote! If he gets three votes then we'll definitely have him' so they had a vote... and he got four out of four! The only reason it took them a day to call me was that they had to sort out the logistics of when he was going to be going to them. They have a weekend away next weekend and also need to have some internal doors fitted this week (they've renevated their house and the doors are the finishing touch! the doors were due to be fitted in 2 weeks time but they've brought it forward so that Mojo can go and live with them quicker and so that he won't be upset by people fitting the doors as they know he's not keen on loud noises.
I did ask her to update me with piccies and she also offered for me to go and see him any time I want which is lovely. Of course, I will post them when I get them- I know how we all like our 'happy ever afters!'

Things are OK here at present. We realised we needed to keep them completely separate so Mojo has got his own room with everything he needs and after a bit of winging the first night, he has actually settled down and is OK in there. The boys seem to think they have got their home back and seem fine. Monty's still a bit wobbly about it as he's poo'd a couple of times more on the floor but I'm going to get him another tray tomorrow an put it in the hallway outside the room that Mojo's living in... that room is where Monty likes to use the tray so he probably is annoyed as well about not being able to use 'his' toilet. That room is the only one suitable for Mojo to be in though as our office is a bit small for him to be in for a week. Mojo is also having a rota's few hours outside every day too and seems happy enough. He's just extra cuddly when I go in and see him as he loves human attention so much.

All in all, I feel quite good about it all. I am proud of myself (strange as that may sound) for putting the cats before myself as I really would love Mojo to stay but know it's in his and everyone's best interests for him to enjoy his new life. Knowing he is going somewhere so fantastic definitely makjes it all better as well.

[Tiggy's Mum]

So pleased for him, for you and for Leigh  I was sooooo tempted to apply to adopt Mojo when I first saw he needed a new home so it could have been me that was in such a sad position now

HAVE YOU TOLD THEM ABOUT THE RULE????!!!! ....Constant email updates with lot's of photo's, preferably becoming a member on Purrs!   

You should add that into the rehoming contract 

[west0405]

Thats great Debbie!
Is it the same family you told me about on the phone, with the two older children? Oh brilliant!
Bank holiday Monday! Will you have a few days off to pamper your stressed little ones? Hope they get better soon x x x   

Bless our little Mojo, he's going to love it with his new family and four lots of 'people' love and attention. I can imagine him making his way around the house to get attention from everyone in their own rooms. He will have them wrapped round his finger by that afternoon! 

HAVE YOU TOLD THEM ABOUT THE RULE????!!!! ....Constant email updates with lot's of photo's, preferably becoming a member on Purrs!   

((((Give him a belly rub from us three.))))

  again, you are doing a brilliant job  You must be having such a hard time.

[Millys Mum]

Im glad your first choice family have worked out 

[JackSpratt]

Brilliant news.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Great news and hope he will be very happy cos he deserves it 

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

Well the lovely family that viewed him yesterday have just called and they want to offer him a home! I am soooooooooo pleased as it's exactly the type of home he needs. He will be pampered by people but will be king of his castle with a lovely big garden and no other cats!
They are going away next weekend so are going to collect him on Bank holiday Monday. I am so sad he's going but so pleased he's got somewhere so great to go!

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

Well they haven't called back so am starting to think that maybe they don't think he'll fit in with them, or it could be they are trying to sort out when they can take him. I've got to wait and see. If they do decide they don't want him then we've made space so that he can go to one of our lovely indoor fosterers where he can ahve the run of the house cause he's really not happy about being stuck in the spre room and Monty has poo'd on the florr three days in a row as everytime he walks past the spare room, Mojo knows he's there so growls through the door and it goes straight to Monty's bowel.
I think a little bit of distance may be good too as I know that sometimes when potential owners view cats with their current owners, even without realising the owners can apply pressure as it's so obvious they want their cat homed. I really tried to be neutral but I know the family that viewed him felt sorry for me and my situation. He may have a better chance when he's viewed in a neutral setting. He's a very homable cat so he will probably be homed very soon.

[Millys Mum]

I hope it works out for you, will make it a tiny bit easier 

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

Thanks all- 

I have a couple of homes which would be great for him that I ahve already home visited that have been cleared and are waiting for a young cat. I called the one that I thought would be really perfect for him and they came to view a little while ago.
He was a bit of a scaredy cat and isn't happy at living in the spare room til a home is found but he was sweet and although not all over them, he let them stroke him and was well behaved. They seemed to appreciate that most cats are timid to start with and then get more friendly as the confidence comes. They discussed where he could have a safe room in their house, how long he'd need to stay in before going out and as they left the little girl said; 'I want him'. They are going to discuss things and let me know later on. I really have my fingers crossed that they wish to home him- they are SO NICE, have a massive garden to explore and live in a lovely quiet road. It will be so much easier if I know he's going somewhere great. FINGERS CROSSED> I shall let you know what they say when they sall.
 

[Tiggy's Mum]

Its such a hard decison to make, i hope i never have the same situation 

Absolutely 

[Millys Mum]

Its such a hard decison to make, i hope i never have the same situation  its so important for multicat homes to be balanced and happy

[west0405]

Hi again Debs,
I know we spoke on the phone earlier but I can't stop worrying about you being upset 
Please don't be, like I said Mojo's behaviour went undetected until he was put into a situation where he wasn't 'Topcat' anymore, (like at ours) and now we know that he will probably never be happy with other cats. He is definitely a one cat house kitty who just craves human attention, (and lots of it as you know!)

I am so happy that he has spent these past 5 weeks with you as you are a brilliant Mummy and have adored him so much. At least we know more about Mojo's personality now and so the next home you find will be his forever home as one of the families you told me about already sound perfect! I would have hated it if I rehomed him elsewhere and his behaviour and happiness were not picked up on and left to continue making, not only himself, but other cats unhappy 

Give Monty, Oscar and Jasper a hug from me  .... and naughty Mojo too 

Talk soon,
Lots of love, Leigh x x x

[swampmaxmum]

I think you're very brave and I'm sorry that it's not working out. Hope you find a solution that you're happy with - or as happy as possible 

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

Thanks so much MM, really does help to have someone say that. I know it's for the best for all concerned but I am feeling really emotional about it all. I have been trying to think things will get better but things are deteriorating the more confident he becomes.
Luckily I have a couple of families and also other homes which I have home checked and know would be wonderful who are waiting for a young and friendly cat to come along. I just need to sit down and work out which I think would be best for him.
I really don't want him to go but I know the longer I wait, the worse things will get and the harder it will be to let go.

[Millys Mum]

Sorry it hasnt worked out for you, your making a very unselfish decision to put the cats wants before your own, which is to be admired 

[Dawn F]

sorry Debs, sometimes it just doesn't work out, at least you are in a good position to help him though

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

Mojo attacked Jasper this morning as he came downstairs and I was cuddling Jasper. He immediately started wailing at Jasper when he saw him with me (he's beocme very posessive of me) and Jasper straight away jumped down and ran. Not fast enough though and Mojo pounced on his scratching him before I could interveen. I grabbed a cushion and managed to get Mojo away but was late in to work as had to sort Jasper out as he has a few scratches on him and was a shaking, terrified mess. Scratches are superficial but the emotional stress isn't

I spoke to and had one of my friends who has nearly finished her behaviour qualification come over as a metter fo urgency last night and she says that the behaviour that Mojo is displaying is very unlikely to get better, if anything he is becoming more of a bullly the more at home he gets. This combined with the e mail conversation I've had with Leigh (hope you don't mind me mentionig you hun!) about how over dominant eh was with the 2 cats he lived with and how they were different cats after he left meant that she recommended that he needs to be an only cat and thinks that even if I manage to get them to tolerate each other, he will always be over domiant which will suppress the others. It was also suggested that it be sooner rather than later as the other cats are already showing signs of quite bad stress. Now we've thought about it, even Oscar has completely changed his pattern- he used to come up to bed with me every night but now will nto even go up the stairs so is far more needy when he's downstairs than he's ever been before.

Monty also got his wrath last night before bed and poo'd all over the carpet in protest. My poor old man got scared and the fear went to his bowel.

I have an appointment to speak with a fully qualified behaviourist very soon but I am fairly sure what will be said- although i do pray for some different things to try. I cried myself to sleep last night knowing what is likely to have to happen as I have got so attached to Mr Moj but it may be that it's better for him and the other cats for him to be in a nice home but as a lone cat, I know many people live with arguing cats and cope but I know that's not in the best interests of anyone and have seen fist hand what teh affects can be in many fo teh rescues I take in.

[Maddiesmum]

I used to have three cats Guinness, Madison and Dragan.  Guinness and Madison were big big buddies as small kittens and loved each other to pieces.  Then along came Dragan, Guinness transferred all her affections to him, he was a four week old kitten, and devoted her time and attention to him. Madison got pushed out.  From then on poor Maddie never was part of the pack  Guinness would hiss and spit at her and hit her everytime she tried to pass.  Maddie used to go round the edges of the room to avoid.  Then even sweet natured Dragan started to join in, he wouldn't hiss or spit nor be nasty but he would wait for his opportunity and gently smack Madison in the face.  That was it really for 17 years.  Maddie was happy enough in her own little world wtihout them but I used to feel for her when Guinness and Dragan cuddled up mutually grooming at night and she had no one to snuggle.  Maybe the cats will settle down maybe they will  never get on it is always a lottery.

[Bonkers Mad!!!]

5 weeks is no time at all for them to get used to each other.  i never seperate when a new cat comes to live here and there are always a couple of months of hissing before everybody settles down into their niches.  Sam has been here since last july and he still has issues with a couple of the cats and also he still gets spooked by the dogs.  Sam has learned to stay away from the cats he doesnt like (mostly Shenzy as shes a bully) and although i'm sometimes woken by a noisy fight in the night it's not a problem.

i hope Mojo settles soon so you can stop worrying

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I think if you have access to a good behaviorist this is the best course.

I have two pairs....rescued moggies one and birmans the other.

I had a very happy household with the moggies who came together, although did not know each other, until the birmans arrived. Intros were done well like yours but the birmans took over upstairs and chased the other two downstairs and one of the birmans took to attacking the moggies and going for their throats............a number of members here thought I would have to rehome the birmans but I loved them too much.

Also Misa moggie used to hiss and growl at Franta birman and Franta used to chase Sasa moggie. They are still not friends some 3 years on but the household is relatively calm now and Misa even sneaks up stairs and wanders round the bedroom  and also Sasa. Time definately works as long as the upset to the resident cats is not too stressful for them or fighting takes place.

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

Well to be honest, he is trying to guard the whole house at present! Everywhere apart from the lounge as he knows we will make distracting noise and split things up if he is agressive in the lounge as we're all in their.
Things have sadly taken a turn for the worst today and a couple of things have happened. OH found Mojo intimidating Oscar this morning by backing him into a corner and was ready to pounce on him but OH came along in just the nick of time. Also Jasper has a scratch on his face- I have no way of knowing where it's come from and he could ahve got it outside but as Mojo has been swiping for him it could have been him. The saddest news is that Jasper may be developing a pica problem (eating things he shouldn't which is often due to stress) I noticed a couple of days ago that there were a few chunks missing out of the bath mat (the one that stops you slipping in the shower) we couldn't work out how it'd happened but when I got home today, I found Jasper in the bath (he likes drinking the drips!) chewing the mat. I am starting to think that maybe it's getting to Jasper more than I thought.

I luckily have a behaviourist contact, one of the vet nurses that our welfare co-ordinator works with who is also a qualified feline behaviourist who I have e mailed with all the details in this post who is willing to give me some suggestions once she's looked at things more carefully. I am keeping an open mind but I also have to think of the greater good in the long run so will see how we get on. If it does end up that Mojo would be happier and better off as an only cat then of all people, I am in the best position to find him his dream home as homing co-ordinator! I am just waiting and seeing at the mo though but OH and I have agreed (and I have spoken to Leigh via e mail) that we need to make sure we look at what's best for the cats, and over what will be hard for us.

I shall keep you all posted and thanks so much to those of you that have made suggestions or just given warm wishes xx

[Millys Mum]

I think your right with the time bit, you have got everything else going in the right way, lots of trays feeding areas etc

Does he still have the room upstairs that hes guarding maybe break that up 

[Tiggy's Mum]

No idea I'm afraid debs but didn't just want to read and run  You seem to be doing everything right so fingers crossed time will work it's magic