Yesterday Polly was bumping into things and appeared to be blind. I gave her lots of cuddles and decided to see how she got on for a few hours before panicking. At about 6pm she began having seizures. She had a cluster about two months ago, but got over it. I had been given vials of diazepam to squirt up her bum if this happened again. So I ran to get them, panicking all the way to the kitchen, and tried, unsuccessfully, to administer a dose. Unfortunately I hadn't pushed it in far enough. I rang a friend who has a very logical mind and decided to give her the other vial; this attempt was more successful.
She relaxed into a sleep for about 30mins before seizing again. This didn't stop and she was in a continuous fit for about four hours. I tried giving her oral diazepam, but it had no effect.
She was much worse than last time, writhing her back into a u shape and continually jerking. She wasn't "with it" at all. Initially, I thought she'd come out of it, but she didn't.
Something about her told me she wanted me to let her go. I decided to take her to an emergency vet and pts. Two friends came with me. We didn't go to VetsNow. I rang them, but their attitude was so cold - using callous sounding abbreviations like "the price depends on indiv crem" and "if you just want euth and not consult that will only be £60" I was horrified at the thought that a vet wouldn't look at her to give an opinion regarding her prognosis. So I took her to a dedicated emergency vet clinic.
The vet gave a detailed and considered account of Polly's illness and prognosis and we came to the conclusion that the kindest course was to pts.
The friends who were with me cried, as did I. I've been crying all night. Later today, myself and a friend are burying her in my garden.
I know she lived to be an old cat (22), but I wish she'd had a gentler death. Maybe she'll soon be a kitten again, living a new life.
