should i put my cat to sleep afternoon

[clarenmax]

Good post, Gill. 

I agree, a very heartfelt post Gill  and echoes what many of the posters on this thread are thinking or saying at this stage.

[Liz]

Good post, Gill. 

Seconded on that

Put to sleep is the kindest thing you can do - we lost our Miss Gracie to a nasal tumour and its very distressing to watch

let him go, mourn him and you will always love him 

[Pinkbear (Julie)]

Good post, Gill. 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Tan I am going to be a bit blunt here cos I think you really do need to stop listening to this woman..

Its almost unheard of on Purrs and actually I dont remember a single case before, where a number of people on Purrs have actually tried to give advice to an owner to send their cat to the Bridge.

We feel that its not our place to do this normally as we are not vets and do not know the cat, its a decision only the owner can make for their very best friend.

I am sure that you know that all of us have dearly loved cats and often more than one. Most of us have been in a situation of having to give the greatest gift of love to one or more of our cats.

I was so close to making this decision for Franta in February but I was so lucky cos two magnicant vets were able to save his life but he was not at the stage Milo was and as far as we know he does not have a tumour cos he responded to some very harsh abtibiotics that worked in his brain. This is quite an unusual case and know that others have hung some hopes that some similiar treatment would help their cats but sadly it will not.

Milo is at a stage by your description, that he is suffering terribly and has now given up and he is asking for your help in setting him free from the pain and the hunger. I have tears running down my face writing this but please let him go to the Bridge. 

Guilt is one of the phases of grieving and am sure that nearly everyone of us has had some guilt after letting our cats go, it maybe guilt cos we didnt do it soon enough or because we thought we were not able to help by getting better treatment or just from our lack of knowledge.

The pain that we have is cos we love someone so much but the greatest gift we can give our cats is trying to do the best for them when they are so very very ill and often our pain is their lack of pain and the freedom we give them to pass quickly and safely to The Rainbow Bridge. They will always leave their paws in our hearts and it will be painful for a very long time but you will get a message from them to say they have arrived and that they are free and playing again.

Please do not leave this any longer or you may have to deal with a much  worse scene than you now have and you will never forget what you have put Milo through 

[Maddiesmum]

I think you need to talk honestly to your own vet, the one who did the tests.  I know it must be difficult when you are being pulled in both directions but, at the end of the day, it is Milo who is the important one and his needs that must be dealt with.  I think maybe you know deep down what you have to do but as we all do, are clutching at any straws that are being offered.  I wish I could be there to help you:)

[scattycat]

I have to agree with Dabs - I honestly think you need to make the decision today and let him go.

I can understand people wanting to try keep your cat alive for as long as possible, but they arent the cats mummy, the one that in the end is forcefeeding a cat which clearly doesnt like it - you have to think about how your relationship with the cat is compared to what it was when he was well.

I know we kept our first cat alive for longer than we should had, but it was the first time both of us had been in that situation, so the 2nd time around, we knew we had to help her sooner rather than later.

You clearly have spent a lot of money so far on Milo - and this may seem a harsh thing to say - but please do consider, if you say you'll leave it till Tuesday, which bear in mind is 5 days away - Milo may take a turn for the worse and you will have no choice but to have him PTS, probably at a vets practice you're not used to and with a vet you've never met. Please also bear in mind that if you have to use the emergency vet the bill for it is much higher than if you were to take him to the vets this afternoon. Our first cat cost us over £100 just to have her PTS as it was on a Sunday morning - I dont know whether vets charge more for Bank holidays but that is something to consider.

[Millies mum]

You can't be expected to keep your cat alive for upto 12 weeks while Petplan are investigating your claim, what if he really he is suffering???
Surely if your cat does pass away or is pts Petplan will pay you the amount that is owed to you
I think you have to think about what is best for your cat and make sure he is not suffering  

[tan160581]

when i say fighting petplan , i have made a complaint and i received a letter to say they would let me know the outcome in 8-12 weeks, not pay out in 8-12 weeks, my head is all over the place so sorry if i dont make sense sometimes

[tan160581]

the lady is a ex vet nurse and i brought a adult cat from her some years ago and have always kept in touch with pictures and telling her how she is doing etc, so when my cat was ill i rung her as my vet didnt know what was wrong with my cat when he had the bleeding nose and we did cat,flu the herpes test the fiv test and liver and kidney and cat anerexia and they all come back clear, so i rung her up and i asked for her advice and since then she has helped me and advised me - when my cat finally had a camera put through his nose and we got a inconclusive test but my vet was swaying towards more a tumour then a polyp he gave me steroids and said i would have about 3 to 4 weeks and that is when this lady said go to her vet and we will try these new chemo tablets and i am grateful as i had a extra 3 months tht i wouldnt of done if i had listened to my vets, so this lady thinks my vet gives up much to easily and esp as we dont know 100% if its a tumour, i have already spent 2000 and my money has rung out and what the vet is saying i need to pay for a cat scan but i dont have the money for it, so the lady that is helping me wants to try and keep my cat alive as long as possible while i am fighting petplan to pay out, which i got a letter today and said it would take 8-12 weeks, i dont think that time is on my hands - the lady also thinks that my cat is depresed and has a cold and that i need to just feed him ad every hour and use steaming inhallation to get the air ways clear, but i tried this last time and that he when he got the nose bleeds, and when he used to have colds they were so minor and he never lost his apetite like this, so that is why i am in a quandry as its not just some lady i see again its a lady that has helped and advised me the last 4 months and i have one of her cats as well, my head just spinning around at the minute

[Ela]

I do feel for you and know how difficult it is to make the decision to allow  a little one our final act of kindness. However, I feel it very unfair to wait until Tuesday if the little one is suffering and does not have a quality life. Also I don't like the idea of force feeding for such a long time, that in itself is in my opinion unkind and will cause distress.

[moira]

I have uncomfortable vibes about someone who would say that to pts a suffering cat is 'murder' although I fully understand you wanting to clutch onto what seems a lifeline. We would all subject our cats to invasive treatments if the end result means better quality of life. However, if the end result is just to prolong suffering it just cant be right, its just torture, and I know you don't want that. I agree with Janeyk, perhaps you need a third opinion. It's just awful that your friends and family can't support you at this dreadful time. I really feel for you.

[Janeyk]

It is difficult for us here to diagnose and say what you should/shouldn't do and I really feel for you in this situation  if you have no-one there who you can talk to about this what I would do is see an emergency vet, which it is if you are so distraught.  I would then let the vet see your cat and you discuss with her/him.  That is what I would anyway, you will make yourself ill like this and your cat needs you calm 

[dabs]

Tan

Who is this lady that your are taking advice from? Is she a vet/vet nurse?

Only you make that call. Personally I would take him the vets today and seek his advice, this being the vet that knows him best.

Why stress him out to be admitted and then drip fed, or further more force feed him and stress him again.

How well does this woman and this other vet know your cat? Better than you and you regular vet?

Sorry hun but in one of you posts you stated that the other vet and this woman told you that by PTS it would be murder. What a horrible thing to say to someone who clearly cares for her cat and is battling with what decision to make.  

I am afraid that they are confusing you even more, what will happen on Tuesday when they say to keep him going a bit more, 'cause I have a horrible feeling that is what will happen.

Some people keep thier pet going regardless of the cost in terms of suffering to the pet and I hate to say it but she sounds like one of them, or am I being too judgmental here.  

Tan, you need to make a choice here, but it is one that you need to live with Sweetie.

[tan160581]

no i have to go on my own as my family have more important things in there life and my feriends say its just a cat and get over it, i had so made up my mind this morning, but when you have 2 other people begging me to give him a chance and wait til tuesday it makes me think different, i dont know what to do

[Maddiesmum]

Oh you poor thing.  Why would any vet want to ask you to let a cat in the state Milo is in wait until Tuesday?  I think I have to agree with what the others have said (I am so so sorry to say it) that Milo is giving you all the signs that he is not happy, not having any quality of life and in his way, asking you to help him.  If you can, ask your regular vet to come to your home so as not to stress him but if not Tan you have to take your courage in your hands and make the decision.  Is there anyone who can go with you?  Best of luck and I am so so sorry

[Yvonne]

You know Milo better than anybody - I am thinking of you constantly   

Take care   

[tan160581]

i was going to do it, but then i rung the over vet to let him know my decison and the lady as well that put me in contact and explained the symtons and how i didnt think it could be a cold and what my vet had said and they said i should hang on to tuesday and maybe take him in and have him dripped fed, which i know he hated last time or just go with the ad and force it down him and he is probably depressed as he has a cold, god i am so confused

[Millies mum]

I'm so sorry for all of your heartache and poor Milo's illness.

[dabs]

Oh Tan My heart pulls for you it really does.

I am going to take the bull by the horns here. As I said in my first post you know it needs to be done but I feel that you want someone to make that choice for you.

I am taking a risk and may be shot down in flames for it, but from what you describe Milo is now suffering, it needs to end. If he is not interested in food that is not because he cannot smell it, it is because something is wrong. He would still make the effort from the steriods. The fact that he has taken himelf away from you is another sign and being huddled like this is bad as well.

All the signs are there sweetheart, he is asking you to help him, please take him to the vets today and do that final act of kindness. 

[MrsR]

I think that is your sign Tan.

I think so too sweetie 

[moira]

So terribly sad reading this, for you as well as for Milo. I think the time has come. Is there any chance your vet could come to you so that Milo can go peacefully at home?

[scattycat]

Tan - I agree with the others Milo I think is giving you the signs that it's his time to go.

Please think about doing it with the vet you know rather than have to do an on-call vet - we had that happen with the first cat we had to have PTS, and it wasnt that nice, the 2nd one it was with a vet we knew and trusted and the whole thing was dealt with much better, and helped us a lot more.

We're all thinking of you Tan, but I think it's the time to take him to the vet for the last time today 

[Janeyk]

  Tan

[Mark]

I agree Tan - I think you know this too    

[Desley (booktigger)]

I think that is your sign Tan.

[tan160581]

hi
i woke up this morning, and he was downstairs which is unlike him as well ,as he always sleeps under my arm, his eyes are running and his third eyelids are up and his breathing etc i would say the same, but still he wont eat, he didnt even bother miawing for his food as i think he knows he wouldnt like smell it anyway, he just looks a small figure of himself and just hudled in the corner, sleeping,

[Desley (booktigger)]

I am sorry to hear this, but his eating is a priority, and if you cant' get him to eat, then he has no quality of life. Have you tried heating his food up to help him smell it? A/d can either be heated, or mixed with hot water, it is very stinky then. Good luck.

[bonnielass]

How is Milo this morning ? have you managed to get him to eat anything yet,im thinking of you at this difficult time and praying for you both

[bunglycat]

So sorry to hear all this Tan ,
Not sure what to say -so will be sending lots of  to you and Milo and will be thinking of you tonight and tomorrow till i log on again.

[MrsR]

Sending you both all the strength you need.

So sorry I cannot give you any helpful advice but just so upset for you as was in this situation not so long ago.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I would hate to make you feel under pressure but from what you are saying about Milo, I do agree with Dabs.

If he is so hungry that he is screaming for food and his tummy is rumbling then you must ask yourself if what you are doing is right for him.

I think your original vet knows Milo the best and is right. I do not believe Milo will make it through the weekend if he does not eat or drink and starvation is painful and the stress Milo is suffering must be severe. So do not believe this is quality of life for him............do you in your heart 

I so wish we could turn the clock back for the little man but sadly this is not possible......it maybe could be that the tumour has grown and that he cannot swallow properly cos his breathing is so bad.

Thinking of you and Milo tonight 

[dabs]

Tan, you are right if the others are picking on him they see him as weak, this is another sign I am afraid.

He will be stressing by now as the steroids will be telling him to eat and he can't. This will be upsetting him as well.

The other vet says 10 days, but that it only if there are signs of improvment and he continues to improve but if he is clearly hungry but can't eat then I am afraid you and him do not have time on your side.  Little Perdy my resuce was give steroids on the Saturday to make her eat, she had a great day on the Sunday but on the Monday was desperate to eat but could not. She became very stressed and it was heartbreaking to see. As the vet said when I took her in on the Monday, "If we are not careful we will fall into a trap of trying to keep this cat alive when quite clearly the odds are against her. We can only keep propping her up to keep her going for a matter of weeks, would it be right to prolong her suffering?"

I hate to say it sweetie, but I think you are in that trap.

Being the Easter break as well means that the vets are closed Friday and Monday, what if he starts to decline Saturday night then you need to think about an on call vet who does not know him.

As I think has already been mentioned here, for your sake and his you really need to make a choice tonight for both of you and I know that it is not easy. 

[tan160581]

hiya dabs thanks for your advice,

my vet said that he had gone past the radiotherapy stage and there was nothing that i could do, its heartbreaking to see him pining for food as he had a steroid injection he cant smell a thing and i have tried the sardines etc but nothing, i have watered the ad down but he is a very strong and determined cat, it took 6 nurses to feed him when he had to be hospitise and when my vet gives him a blood text he has to be sedated, that is why my vet wouldnt do chemo

so that is when i tried the other vet for the chemo pills , but he thinks that it could be a cold as he has sufferd from them all his life every 3 months, but i think my vet is right as he has known him for longer and when he had a cold it was only slight and he never had noce bleeds or loss of apetite, like he is doing now i was just a anxious cat worrier and use to take him to the vet as i hate to see a animal ill or in pain, which is why its killing me watching him now hungry and i can hear him breathing over the tv, but it upsets me even more of the other option, if i didnt have the other vet in my ear saying give him 10 days and see what happens, then i would be more sure, i know i wont sleep tonight, also my i have 2 other cats and they all used to get on like a house on fire and since his become realy ill they are picking on him - is it cause the cats can see that he is ill???? i know with babies a mum will roll on a ill kitten or am i thinking wrong there xxxx

[dabs]

Tan as someone who has had to make a decision like this three times in as many weeks with one of my own and two little foster sisters Perdy and Nicky, I know that it is not an easy choice to make. But really sick cats can perk up for a while, use the scratch post, ask for a cuddle and so on and not one of us has not been there and thought "Am I doing the right thing?" I think deep down sweetheart you know what has to be done but you want someone to make that decision for you and say "go and do it", which of course we can't.

Only you can make that choice and what has not helped is the awful process you have had to go thru with your insurers.

If he has now stopped eating then he has probably made that choice for you. As has been mentioned before in this thread there is a "Look" that the cat gives you that says "I'm tired, let me go". This is the final act of love that you can give what is clearly a well loved and cherished pet.

You can mix the A/D into a paste with water and syringe feed him. Wrap him in a towel and pop the syringe in the side of his mouth and gently depress the plunger. Give him time to swallow though and don't rush the process. By not getting him to eat you are hastening the process and giving him steriods will make him hungry but stress him because he cannot eat. If as you say it is because he cannot smell it try warmed pilchards as they give off a strong smell and may prompt him to try some.

Whatever you do, don't prolong his suffering, because you will beat yourself up more over that than if you let him go early. I live by the maxim of rather a day too early than a day too late.

If it is a tumour then he will have to go at some time, sweetie please just do not let him suffer. Whatever you decide we are all with you and we have all had to make one of the toughest choices in the world.

[tan160581]

hi gill,

thanks for telling me that, i have been home since 5ish trying to get ad down him he is called milo and i cant get it down him, i have a syringe the vet gave me and nothing, he is so strong willed and then i was feeling bad as i could feel his heart beating really fast and then his breathing was getting worse, i have a huge migraine now not that i am bothered i am just so stressed out , esp as when i go into the kitchen he is screaming for food and keeps going to his biscuit box under the stairs i feel really nasty, i am offering him his food, his biscuits my food but he cant smell anything but he is ravenous, i will try the finger thing thing now, thank you ever so much xxxx

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

So so sad to hear about this. What a difficult time for you both.  Having been there myself and struggling for 2 years with my poorly Layla we eventually had to make the decision that it was time and although I suffered all sorts of guilt/what if moments ultimately I know she is now at peace and not struggling everyday anymore. We were lucky enough to have a vet who really supported us and agreed it was the right time. It is better to have a happy yet short life than a hard long one. I know whatever you decide it will be what's best for your boy and he will know how much you love and care for him. 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

It really hurts me so much on a thread like this and makes me think of my Kocka 

She lived mostly on ad for the last year or more of her life and now I know so much more than I did then.

Try letting your cat............please tell us his name.....................eat the ad off your finger in little bits, I used to crawl around after Kocka and it could take all day to get small amounts of ad into her.

I think that if your cat is not able to eat ad , which is a highly tasty and smelly food for sick cats , then I am so sad to say but he cannot live without food and his liver will shut down and then the rest of his body. I know this cos of Franta who was very ill in Feb and he would not eat initially and my vet was so concerned about his liver.

My heart is with you and I send lots of good wishes for your cat and a gentle stroke and you know that we all thinking about you both and are here for you 

[Janeyk]

My heart goes out you right now having recently been in the same position it is very difficult somtimes knowing when the time is right.  People often say you will know but sometimes you just don't.  If the cat is in discomfort and nothing can be done then maybe the kindest thing is let go.  All I can really advise is to go with what the vet you trust says and your own gut feelings 

[swampmaxmum]

I'm so sorry that things are the way they are. I hope that you can find some way to think clearly when you are so upset and please don't let yourself be pressurised into doing anything that you don't feel is right. My vet said to me that you must be able to look back and be sure that what you did was right, no regrets. We are all here for you to support you and listen. Only you know how bad your little one is though. The vet who has the doom and gloom prognosis doesn't seem to think he is suffering very much so it sounds as if you may have the time to make your decision. I'm sure he would have said if he thought you should make it immediately. What I would say is I echo the others on here who say treasure every moment you still have with him

[Maddiesmum]

I am so sorry that you find yourself in this heartbreaking decision.  Some advice is better a day too early than a day too late.  I would not want to advise you either way but think you have to consider your cat's wellbeing.  You say he is struggling to breathe, that can't be pleasant.  Maybe keep him with you for a few more days, until Saturday and give him all the love, time and attention that you can. See how he is then and make your decision. Unless, of course, he deteriorates further,  He does need to eat though as this can affect other parts of his body and if he has no fluids he will dehydrade.  We are all here for you so don't feel alone