I know my place

[CurlyCatz]

oh you have no idea LOL apparently he got into abit of debt a few years back but i keep saying he'll only learn by his mistakes if he sorts them out...hells bells is it any wonder i got out at 16 lol..but colin was / very much is the blue eyed boy.

my other brother gary still lives at home, pays digs etc and she has tried to control his finances but i think he's got abit more back bone to a degree..my sister is 18 and at college, i was mentioning to my aunt that altho i dont mind paying her £20 quid each time she babysits i was always shocked that she never offered to "waive her fee" since its her only neice and nephew and she does nothing else (she got no social life and sits in with parents..yawn)  and my aunt was quick to say tis probably not so much the greed of my sister but what she'd get from my mother if she returned home without pay !!!!!!!

my mother has always been a crazy money obsessed loony LOL altho alot stems from severe financial hardships when i was younger and litterally she'd be counting coppers to feed us.

[Ela]

Thats going to go down well if he has a girlfriend, I don't think.

That is like going back 40 yrs or more.

[CurlyCatz]

mmm i wont get started about my mother and money but safe to say i cannot remember back to a year where she did not know to the exact pence what she has in her purse, when dad asks for money its the spanish inquistion
 

my 23 year old brother lives in grantown on spey and his pay gets paid into the bank, my mother has his bank book and cards and he has another account that she takes an allocated amount of his pay and puts enough in his other account to live on (by her calculations etc) oh ok im not goin any further coz a) id be here typing till midnight and B) its just too annoying LOL

[Ela]

  altho unlike my dad who has to ask my mum for 50 pence if he want a can of juice from

I used to work with someone like that the poor husband used to have to come and ask her for money to pay for a coffee from the trolley. Another lad I worked with never had any money as he would use it to gamble id his wife gave him any. I used to feel sorry for him so I would by an extra sandwich have a bite (so he would not click) and then say I'm full do you want this. he always did as he was always starving. Again at the afternoon brake when the trolley cam round I would buy a mars bar have a bit then say I didn't fancy it.

[CurlyCatz]

we're abit like that regarding bills and fiances etc, thats my department.  altho unlike my dad who has to ask my mum for 50 pence if he want a can of juice from work michael does carry money etc (we only have the one account)  what his is definatley mine and he is very generous and never begrudges me anything...altho he has started to notice he is abit lucky with me as i never really spend much money on myself nor ask for anything.

theres never really been the case of "his" money but perhaps he feels a pressure as the sole provider of his family esp with a young family, i know if need be the animals get sick they will be treated etc but if it was something that required high vets bills on a regular basis or a very big bill then i'd have to discuss it with him and a realistic decision made, but hopefully i'll be lucky.

I do have a little bargaining stand off tho since he is the biggest reason im not having another child and he also has his "motor bike hobby" LOL.

[Ela]

of course i do wish he'd just tolerate them without moaning to me about them LOL...also i know that when i have to spend money at the vets there wont be a bottomless pit for them

Hopefully he will soon learn that what is his is yours and what is yours is your own.

In all seriousness I suppose I have been lucky as we have always put all our money together and I sort it. Since I was Ill health retired obviously I have not had a salary but as it was an accident at work I had my pension an my money made up to what I would earn until I was 60.  Stuart has never even opened a bill and we could be in debt to our eyeballs and he would not know. (We ain't and don't own a penny to anyone thankfully). I was even brave enough to tell him how much the last two vet bills have been, over £1000 and he didn't bat a eyelid. It could have been cos he fainted, no he didn't really. When we go on holiday he just assumes that I have sorted out the Euros etc.  If we go out he never takes any money and again assumes I have some. At least his pockets don't wear out. One of these days I must tell him where the money is as he would not have a clue who to contact to get any if I pop my chogs first.

[CurlyCatz]

dont get me wrong, there have been and occasionally are times i'd love to "get rid" of the other half  specially when he freezes my cadbury mini eggs 

he has many a time ranted to get rid of various animals, of course i never have and he knows i never would and its heat of the moment type stuff when he says it and he'd never try to enforce it LOL

As for cody, well mmmm he must really dislike cody for cody to wait while dh gets seated in an evening on his recliner to eat his tea, feet up on stool..its all the boy can do and soon as hubbys feet up cody is straight onto his legs for a snooze LOL

Dh used to really like and play with fraser but years of stepping in cat vomit and hair everywhere has taken its toll there, not the cats fault i know but well...least dh not nasty to cats nor does he ever wish something nasty to happen to them... he however has never taken to seb...I didnt consult or discuss when i took him home i just did it no questions as he was the spit of my sooty..seb isnt massively a people person and we've spent years going to all sorts of lengths to stop him escaping but even when he has hubby has helped me look for him and often he managed to get seb to go to him before he'd come to me when he's hiding outside. plus seb has he most horrendously annoying wail esp when im trying to get his food bowl down and even that gets on my nerves..honestly its sooooo bad.  I'd say dh " tolerates" them pretty well so i cant say too much

of course i do wish he'd just tolerate them without moaning to me about them LOL...also i know that when i have to spend money at the vets there wont be a bottomless pit for them  and unless i am working at that point and time i know it will be a tricky line i'll be walking.  All the animals were insured before but it was costing around 450quid per year for the 4 aminals (this was pre cody) and he was really moaning about that so i had to cancell it all..i guess thinking in hind sight...most of his moaning has been since i stopped work and basically he;s been paying for them all esp when we were really hard up so i suppose that must have something to do with it and i hadnt really thought of that myself before.

[Marie]

When my partner moved in I had Kyle who I lost to cancer about 2 months later.  This hit me really hard but I don't know how I would have coped without Rich being there to make the effort to get home before me so I wouldn't have to come home to an empty flat, letting me talk as much as I needed to and giving me a shoulder to cry on.  When Rich moved in he said he wasn't really a pet person but Kyle was there first and he knew how much he meant to me.  During those 2 months I lost count of the times he washed and dried Kyle as he always had a dodgy tummy, the times he drove me to the vets so I could have the basket on my lap and how he adjusted to sleeping with Kyle cuddled up in the middle of us.  We now have Maisy and Tommy and Rich now says he never thought he was a pet person until he got pets of his own and now he wouldn't be without them.

This is a typical morning of order in our house, I get up first, feed Maisy and Tommy, then clean the litter trays, then take Rich up a coffee in bed, then I make my breakfast!!! 

[Ela]

I make it quite clear to everyone that I have cats and that they are considered family so they can like it or lump it

Quite right too.

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

My OH is really stern with Paddy.  I, however, give in to my little Persil Kid's every whim.  Who does the little ginger imposter love most?  Well, it ain't me, that's for sure!!!   

[JackSpratt]

My partner has a moan about the cats every now and again (especially my RIDICULOUSLY vocal old girl!) but then again, so do I! We both love them a lot, but as every cat owner slave knows, they can figure out exactly the right pitch to drive us to distraction from time to time!

People that don't especially like cats are allowed in my house - they just aren't allowed to be derogatory about them in any way!

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

Few people who dislike cats make it past my front door.  I make it quite clear to everyone that I have cats and that they are considered family so they can like it or lump it (or get out!).

[Ela]

must be pretty OK to give you the impression he is a Cody fan and also pay for them all!

You are quite right there is a difference between a man like lynns husband and someone who insists a partner 'get rid'

Then of course there is the person who insists and means it and others like I am sure many of our partners who occasionally have a little moan and I in all honesty  justified occasionally, but they know they can moan all they like but also know that no notice will be taken and accept the fact.

[Desley (booktigger)]

I personally wouldn't put people like your OH in that category Lynn, but I know the kind of people Ela was referring to in her comment - woudlnt' go as far as calling them low lives personally, but some of the reasons we hear for people giving up their cats can be hard. I personally wouldnt' let any man into my life who wouldn't accept my cats (and Molly likes to come under the duvet for part of the night every night), and for the foreseeable future, accept my rescue work too. But, being single means I dont have to get permission when I want a new foster - just means only me to pay for everything!!

[Rosella moggy]

tbh Lynn, bearing in mind Cody's recent peeing probs and that your OH is not a natural fan of your furry fellas, your OH must be pretty OK to give you the impression he is a Cody fan and also pay for them all!

[CurlyCatz]

MMMmmmm he might scrape past at a push LOL..i get the snyd remarks so i guess the cats are non the wiser.

[Ela]

so is tolerating accepting then ?? LOL

I suppose so, if the horrid partner tolerates nicely, and that means no snide remarks or raised voice to the little one/s and a little fuss at least once a day.

[CurlyCatz]

so is tolerating accepting then ?? LOL

dh tolerates some of my animals (ok most of them but he does then again also pay for them all) so does that get him out of the "low life" catogary, but no way would i say he loves them, altho me got a sneaky suspicion cody ranks higher than what he pretends LOL

[JackSpratt]

of course some partners dont share such a love of them but arent necessarily "low lifes" and the owners whilst dont get rid of pets have a fine balancing act sometimes to keep both 

Agreed. I know many relationships where an older pet is tolerated and it can be pretty stressful all round at times.

[Ela]

but arent necessarily "low lifes"

Sorry in my book  someone who will not accept a much loved pet that perhaps their now partner had had for years is not worth the bother. If you love someone or even like them why would you demand they 'get rid' of something they love.

Love me love or at least tolerate my cats or bog off, that is what I would say.

[CurlyCatz]

of course some partners dont share such a love of them but arent necessarily "low lifes" and the owners whilst dont get rid of pets have a fine balancing act sometimes to keep both 

[Ela]

No prizes for guessing where I come in the pecking order

Rather that than the low life we often hear about who do not care for their partners pets and the owners are stupid enough to 'get rid' of the pets rather than get rid of the partner.

[Rosella moggy]

OH arrived home last night after 3 nights working in London.  His 1st words...

High pitched to black furbabe in hallway "Hi Billy Billy, how are you fella?" followed by normal tone to me "are you ready then?" which means immediate pub visit

Today it's high pitched "Hi Freddie boy" followed by normal tone to me "isn't he cuddly?" and "are you sure you played with Billy and his string every night?"

No prizes for guessing where I come in the pecking order but wouldn't want it any other way