Tiggy - we torties get lootz of bad press cos hoomans sa we are nortie. Is not tru. If your hooman sa this, use one of my speshul hexcuses:
It not me, it was da wind.
It not me - a big cat camed along and did it.
Neverminds about stoopid vase/horneyments/hairlooms, I has hurtie paw (look sad and hurties)
I wudn't have had to eat it if you not left me dying of hungries.
I not do dat - is giant moffs
I haz more if nessessery.
Dot.