thanks all. im still shaking when i type this, im crying so much i cant see the screen.
we buried him, just now. Robin didnt really want me to see him, but i had to. he was looking so peaceful, as if he was asleep, with his paw over his face just like he does when he sleeps. i saw blood on his face. i stroked his fur and told him how much i love him. its all too upsetting. we wrapped him in his blankets, put his wiggley waggler in his arms (that he won at the purrs competition), and his favorite ping pong ball and a chewed up da bird. We wrote a note to him too. we lit candles for him, and will buy a bottle of Jameson to have in his memory tonight.
my neighbours (the ones he used to go round to for food!) are such troopers. they are catlovers, i kept asking her 'is he dead', she walked out to show us where he was. Then Robin told me to wait by the road when he went to check... i saw it was my Baby in the road. I just collapsed in my neighbours arms just screaming and crying at the same time. she was crying to, and her mum & dad too. They told us how they've known him for a long time, and that he always comes round for food and to terrorise their cats. Robin came back to me, and just cried.. she went to pick him up, and put him in a bag. we took him home. I have now been crying since then and am a wreck. i cant believe it.
The comfort is knowing he was a content kitty who lived his life to the full. he touched everyone that ever met him, and everybody loved him. He had a great life, although too short but i can rest in the knowledge that he was a lucky cat, loved by many, whose favorite hobbies included chasing things outdoors which was the place he was happiest. he was such outdoor cat. I cant beat myself up about letting him outside, thats where we met him, and thats where he was the happiest.
we think it all happened really quick and that he didnt suffer much. im feeling really weird typing this as it feels like a dream and i feel like a robot. I dont think i'll ever get over this. In time im sure pain will fade, but how do i get over it? even having a cup of tea is not the same.
when we talk we try to celebrate his life as much as poss. talk about small memories that make us smile. He brought so much love and happiness to our lives.
Play hard at the Bridge my little Tiger. I love you so much and will never forget you. RIP Jameson. We love you. xxxxx
