Thanks all, it means a lot. I wrote this earlier, just so you know what happened (even though I don't know any more details). At least he is in a safe place now. There was always a worry about the road, but still felt I needed to give him the outdoor choice.
So far this has been the most awful day of my life.. i dont know where to start. Tears are streaming down my face while I type this, I can't even see the screen..i'm just coming to terms with losing my precious, beautiful cat. My little friend that I love more than anything in this world.
Heard a knock on the door this morning.. i don't know why, but i got a bad feeling straight away. Robin answered, it was our neighbour.. i could only hear a few words.. she mentioned 'cat'.. I just knew. Robin ran into the bedroom to put his trousers on...i asked what it was about.. he said 'i don't know, something about a cat in the road'. I ran to the hallway, and asked my neighbour 'is he ok?', 'how do you know its Jameson'? 'is it a tabby?. She couldn't answer, but the look on her face just said it all. I literally burst into tears.. sobbing all the way outside. On the opposite side of the road I saw my Baby.. lying on the pavement. completely still. My neighbour grabbed me and I just collapsed in her arms, crying hysterically. Robin ran up to check... he came back with tears streaming down his face. I was screaming at this point... crying my eyes out. we were all in such shock. I kept sobbing 'Noooooo my Baby'.. i kept asking if he was ok, if we need to take him to the vets.. noone said anything. I knew in my heart he was dead. my neighbour went to pick him up and put him in a bag. They told me how they had known him for a long time, and that he always used to turn up at their door for food & to terrorise their cats. Another neighbour said he used to come round for sardines. None of us could believe it. We took him home.. at this point we were in too much shock to think or do anything apart from just cry.
it's too much to take in, he just came into our lives and went too quickly. Like a whirlwind, like a ray of sunshine. He just brought so much happiness to my life. I never had a cat before, I wasn't even a cat person. But when he turned up in our garden one day he changed my life. He was so much more than a cat, he was such a character. He even had different facial expressions and ways of doing things. I cherish every single memory of him. Last night we were all 3 of us in bed, and he was getting ready to sleep (on my legs) pawing around on his blanket. I kissed him goodnight. That was the last time i saw him. They think he must've been hit by the car around 8am this morning... they think it happened very quickly.
I so desperately wanted to kiss him goodbye, Robin said there was blood and that i would probably not be able to deal with it. As we dug a whole in the garden to bury him (the garden he LOVED being in, and where we first met him) i tried stroking him where he was lying wrapped under his blanket. I felt his body had started to go hard. It's too heartbreaking. He was such a gorgeous boy, such an amazing cat. In the mornings I used to wake up to a pair of excitable eyes wanting to play or wanting a scratch under the chin. His favorite game was to hide behind the curtain and poke his paw out to catch things.
Robin took him out of the bag for us to wrap him in his blankets. I had to feel his fur and to kiss him goodnight. I saw his paw sticking out and I touched it. I got blood on my fingers. What a beautiful creature.. i saw blood on his face and on his ears. I gently stroked his beautiful fur and told him how much I love him. He looked so peaceful, as if he was just asleep. He had this paw over his face, just like he does when he is sleeping. We wrapped him up and I put his favorite toys next to him; his knitted wiggly waggler, his ping pong ball and his chewed up feather. We wrote a goodbye card, and put it on top aswell as a few more of his toys. Then we said our goodbyes. I can't believe i will never see him again. We lit a few candles on his grave. I will probably sit by his grave every night.. i cant believe he is gone.
Anyone that has had a pet will imagine what im going through. I feel like i've lost a close friend. He loved being by my side and to follow me around. He loved prawns and ham. I just loved that little creature so so so so so much. He was my companion. Little things he used to do bring a smile to my face, thru all the tears. I want to celebrate his life. He loved being outdoors, he adored sitting on fences and catching mice. I smile when i think of how the postman used to point out that 'there's a dead mouse on the patio'. Whenever we came home he had his special way of greeting us by rolling on his back, showing us his belly and wiggle around of happiness. He used to make this really funny sound when he was comfy, a bit whiney, like a satisfied long, loud sigh.
Just walking through the house is so empty, with his scratching post still there, toys scattered around and food still in his bowls.
Anyway this is getting long now, i could write forever about him. But lets leave it like this. I need to sleep as my head is about to explode and my face has swelled up. He is at peace now, chasing butterflies at Rainbow Bridge with auntie Persephone.
I miss you so much Baby Tiger. You brought so much happiness to my life. You were beautiful in every way. Your colours, stripes, spots... your white socks and bib, gorgeous eyes and tiny eyelashes. I so desperately want to kiss you once more. I am so sorry I wasn't there to protect you. It is unfair you've been taken away from us so soon. My comfort is knowing you were a very happy and content cat, and that you lived your life to the max. My little explorer & adventurer. So full of life. I will always remember you with a smile on my face.
RIP my number 1 Baby.
Love you forever and ever.
I will collect you at the Bridge when it's time and we'll cross it together, hand-in-paw.
Sleep tight my Gorgeous Boy.
Meowmy xxxxxxxx
