Author Topic: How on earth do you discipline a cat?  (Read 15644 times)

Offline weesilvie

  • Adult Cat
  • ***
  • Posts: 149
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #109 on: November 25, 2008, 22:25:14 PM »
That's such great news for Nobo!  I knew it wouldn't take long.  And for you too, even though I know it will take a while to sink in.
Take it from me, it's much easier to know that they're somewhere safe and comfy and getting good care.
I know it's hard - I had got so excited about getting Taz and had told all my friends and relations - was really tough to admit defeat and that I'd had to find her a new home.  Serves me right to a certain extent I suppose, but how can you not get excited about new furry pals!  To be fair, my friends and family were really supportive.  I hope yours have been too.
It will get easier to have happy memories of his time with you in time.
 :hug:

Offline Lynds

  • Adult Cat
  • ***
  • Posts: 209
  • Izzy
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #108 on: November 25, 2008, 22:15:15 PM »
Cats are amazing aren't they, that's why we love them, all of them, even the really 'bad' ones - they've all got something special which hangs on to our hearts.  I hope you can take heart from the fact that Nobo appears to coping admirably and that as he's such an appealing cat in so many ways, he'll find a great home really soon.
You know my story so you know that I know just how you feel - I'm with you all the way.
Hang in there Lynds and Izzy! x


Hey, Sarah found him a home this week and he's settling in really well - typical Nobo really. I still find it very hard and talk about him all the time. I hope I learn to cope with it all a little better. Meanwhile Nobo is happy being him.

:) x

Offline weesilvie

  • Adult Cat
  • ***
  • Posts: 149
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #107 on: November 25, 2008, 22:10:13 PM »
Cats are amazing aren't they, that's why we love them, all of them, even the really 'bad' ones - they've all got something special which hangs on to our hearts.  I hope you can take heart from the fact that Nobo appears to coping admirably and that as he's such an appealing cat in so many ways, he'll find a great home really soon.
You know my story so you know that I know just how you feel - I'm with you all the way.
Hang in there Lynds and Izzy! x

Offline Leanne

  • Super Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 2970
  • Milo & Jess
  • Slave to: Jess & Milo
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #106 on: November 10, 2008, 08:46:31 AM »
I agree with psychopunk here too  :hug: :hug: :hug:

Offline Lynds

  • Adult Cat
  • ***
  • Posts: 209
  • Izzy
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #105 on: November 09, 2008, 16:55:42 PM »
I've been following your story from the beginning. Didn't have any advice, but I think you are very brave and have dealt with the situation in the right way.  :hug:

Thanks Psychopunk.


Offline psychopunk

  • Adult Cat
  • ***
  • Posts: 92
  • pipsqueak & cuscus (not in the picture)
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #104 on: November 09, 2008, 16:42:10 PM »
I've been following your story from the beginning. Didn't have any advice, but I think you are very brave and have dealt with the situation in the right way.  :hug:

Offline Lynds

  • Adult Cat
  • ***
  • Posts: 209
  • Izzy
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #103 on: November 09, 2008, 15:11:43 PM »
Thanks for the support and hugs everyone. It's very much appreciated.

I still keep going to shout on Nobo and then realise he's gone, then I feel quite sick. I miss kissing his the wee pads on his feet and getting big hugs from him.

Izzy is doing remarkably well. She no longer goes out for hours and hours, instead she's back within 90 mins or so. I guess she has nothing keeping her away from home. It's going to take her a long time to get over it, however she is moving around the house more, albeit with the tail down in slink mode and ready for potential battle - the wee soul.

Sarah's updates are great and it's nice to know he's coping far better than me.

Lyndsey xx

Offline Stuart

  • Honorary Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 4251
  • Hamish, Misty, Olivia & Robbie
  • Slave to: none :'(
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #102 on: November 09, 2008, 11:22:40 AM »
 :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Dad to Bridge babes Hamish, Misty, Olivia and Robbie :'(

Offline JackSpratt

  • Moderating Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 21871
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #101 on: November 09, 2008, 10:49:06 AM »
:care: For Lynds.




Carrie, Jack,Toby and Parsley ~ Love and miss you all always.x

Offline Janeyk

  • Rescue & Rehoming/Moderating Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 21875
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #100 on: November 09, 2008, 07:11:07 AM »
 :hug: Lyndsey Nobo sounds to be doing really well and just think that you've done the best thing for him xx
Please consider the harder to home cats in rescue.

Offline madkittyrescue

  • Purrs Registered Cat Rescue
  • Super Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 2584
  • Sarah, slave to the 4 legged furball gang!
    • Sunny Harbour Cat & Kitten Rescue
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #99 on: November 08, 2008, 23:26:04 PM »
Nobo is doing well Lyndsey and it is natural to feel upset as you do. YOu gave both him and Izzy all of your love unconditionally and through no fault of your own they were just incompatible :hug:

Try to look on the positive responses you are getting in Izzy at the moment and I will keep you updated on Nobo's progress.  He is such a wee star and we will find a very special home for him I promise!  :Luv2: :hug:

Sunny Harbour Cat & Kitten Rescue
Covering Fife, Edinburgh & Lothians

http://www.sunnyharbour.org.uk

Offline Tiggy's Mum

  • Save a life draw/Commercial Assistant/Moderating Staff
  • Royal Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 9376
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #98 on: November 08, 2008, 12:12:47 PM »
:grouphug:


Offline Lynds

  • Adult Cat
  • ***
  • Posts: 209
  • Izzy
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #97 on: November 08, 2008, 12:02:42 PM »
Yes I'm sure you are right but I wish I felt better for doing it.

 :'(

Offline Susanne (urbantigers)

  • Moderating Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 26645
  • PA to Mosi & Kito
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #96 on: November 08, 2008, 11:12:28 AM »
 :hug:

I think you've done the right thing although it must be breaking your heart right now.  You put your cats and their happiness before your own and that is what any loving cat owner slave aims to do  :hug:

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

  • Rainbow Bridge/Rescue/Moderating Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 73567
  • Misa at 4yrs old and new with me
  • Slave to: Misa, Sasa, Franta Napoleon RIP, Ducha RIP and Lupin, Kocka RIP
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #95 on: November 08, 2008, 11:07:40 AM »
 :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Offline Lynds

  • Adult Cat
  • ***
  • Posts: 209
  • Izzy
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #94 on: November 08, 2008, 11:05:23 AM »
Nobo is gone.

I took him to Sarah's (madkittyrescue) on Thursday and sobbed all the way home.

It's so quiet without him and I miss him more than I thought was possible.

It's like there's a huge hole in my heart. Sarah tells me he's doing great there so clearly Nobo is adjusting more than I am. As long as he's happy and ok.

 :( :( :(


Offline moiramassey

  • Adult Cat
  • ***
  • Posts: 132
  • Moira's Mitzi
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #93 on: November 05, 2008, 20:43:29 PM »
I would llike to add my support for any decision to rehome Nobo. What matters is that both the cats are happy. I do not think Nobo is happy at the moment, or he would not be attacking Izzy amd obviously Izzy is deeply traumatised by the attacks. Nobo will doubtless get a wonderful home (I know Lynds will see to that) and adapt remarkably quickly. Izzy will recover with Lynds and her family looking after her. It is best that Nobo and Izzy make two different families happy rather than, by this unfortunate mismatch, make one family, and themselves, deeply unhappy.

I hope that I would have the courage to rehome one of my cats if that was in the best interest of all four.

Blacken, Mini, Flynn and Mitzi
"One cat just leads to another" Ernest Hemingway

Offline JackSpratt

  • Moderating Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 21871
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #92 on: November 05, 2008, 10:53:01 AM »
sometimes it just doesn't work - being able to accept that and deal with it is part of being a good owner  :hug:

Agreed.




Carrie, Jack,Toby and Parsley ~ Love and miss you all always.x

Offline Lynds

  • Adult Cat
  • ***
  • Posts: 209
  • Izzy
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #91 on: November 05, 2008, 10:37:21 AM »
I too hope you get yourself and the cats sorted.  Sorry if my last question upset you, it had just been nagging away until I had to ask but I do appreciate that you are in an impossible situation and are trying to do the best for your cats.  When I had had Dot for about 6 months, I tried to introduce another adult female MC from the same breeder.  The cats did not get on whatsoever - Dot made it very clear that she wanted to be an "only" and Eva smacked her around almost constantly, even attacking her mid-poo, as Nobo did. I gave both of them every chance but in the end, Eva had to go back.  I know how upsetting it is for you and I am sure that whatever you decide will be for the  best.

C.


No, your question didn't upset me at all. I was glad to answer it. I have worried about this for months now and made myself rather ill over it so your question was fine.  :Luv:
« Last Edit: November 05, 2008, 10:57:34 AM by Lynds »

Catbird

  • Guest
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #90 on: November 05, 2008, 10:22:42 AM »
I too hope you get yourself and the cats sorted.  Sorry if my last question upset you, it had just been nagging away until I had to ask but I do appreciate that you are in an impossible situation and are trying to do the best for your cats.  When I had had Dot for about 6 months, I tried to introduce another adult female MC from the same breeder.  The cats did not get on whatsoever - Dot made it very clear that she wanted to be an "only" and Eva smacked her around almost constantly, even attacking her mid-poo, as Nobo did. I gave both of them every chance but in the end, Eva had to go back.  I know how upsetting it is for you and I am sure that whatever you decide will be for the  best.

C.

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

  • Rainbow Bridge/Rescue/Moderating Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 73567
  • Misa at 4yrs old and new with me
  • Slave to: Misa, Sasa, Franta Napoleon RIP, Ducha RIP and Lupin, Kocka RIP
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #89 on: November 04, 2008, 15:56:20 PM »
 :hug: :hug: :hug:

Offline Dawn F

  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • ******
  • Posts: 18579
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #88 on: November 04, 2008, 15:55:34 PM »
sometimes it just doesn't work - being able to accept that and deal with it is part of being a good owner  :hug:

Offline Lynds

  • Adult Cat
  • ***
  • Posts: 209
  • Izzy
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #87 on: November 04, 2008, 15:53:38 PM »
Thanks Sarah.

Each day I think I'm making the wrong decision then Nobo seems to excel in making Izzy's life hell again. Last night he managed to escape and attack her mid poo. The end result was Izzy bolting and smeared in her own poo. The carpets were covered in it too as she tried to run away.

This is the worst decision I've ever had to make and it's very emotional. Sometimes I worry I'll resent Izzy for me losing Nobo. Perhaps that last statement was a little too honest for this forum but if you can't talk about how you feel about a decision like this on here, then I'm definitely lost.

Talking to Sarah was extremely helpful - thank you Sarah. I will definitely take you up on your offer and come up to see you.

My mum has been in tears over this decision for weeks, as has dad and myself (we're all crazy cat lovers). Even my OH who's not a pet lover (he's neither up or down about pets) has been incredibly upset over Nobo as he's now his "daddy". I never thought I'd hear Greg say that about Nobo! So I can assure everyone this decision to re-home Nobo is tearing us all up inside. I just wanted some cats of my own. I just wanted to help save a couple of moggies and give them copious amounts of love and attention. I just wish I'd dealt with someone like Sarah from the outset.

Offline Dawn F

  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • ******
  • Posts: 18579
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #86 on: November 04, 2008, 15:26:33 PM »
it comes across very clearly I think that Lynds has agonised over this - I hope you are able to restore peace to her home and get Nobo a place of his own

Offline madkittyrescue

  • Purrs Registered Cat Rescue
  • Super Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 2584
  • Sarah, slave to the 4 legged furball gang!
    • Sunny Harbour Cat & Kitten Rescue
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #85 on: November 04, 2008, 15:03:28 PM »
having spoken to Lynds myself I would like to add that she has not taken this decision lightly.  She has thought about the pro's and con's and is trying to do her best by both of her cats that she loves dearly.  We have offered our help to Lynds should she decide to take it and we understand how difficult a decision this is for her.  :hug: I very much doubt that any of us would relish the thought of giving up one of our little furbabes but if it is the best thing for the cat in question then surely that is better than struggling on and living in WW3!!??   :scared:

As always, what does become apparent is that there is always more to a scenario than we perhaps see from the cliff notes version on here. Please bear that in mind.  ;)

Andy - If someone has not specifically answered your post it doesn't mean they have ignored you.  I'm sure you will agree that LYnds is going through a difficult time and has a lot on her mind.  Please also remember that posts don't always come across as we perhaps mean them could we have been able to say the words orally and certain wording can come across as antagonistic.  I'm sure that Lynds has taken on board your comments the first time however.

With regards to scruffing a cat.  Yes this can be done so long as a) you know what you are doing and scruff the cat properly b) you always support the weight of the cat by holding the back end.  NEVER let an adult cat dangle on a scruff as you risk injury to the cat.  As for smacking a cat as you would a child.... I'm not even going to go there!

Lynds, yes take on board everyone's comments but keep a level head. You know what is best for your situation and as I said to you on the phone yesterday we are happy to help you in any way we can.

 :hug: :hug:










Sunny Harbour Cat & Kitten Rescue
Covering Fife, Edinburgh & Lothians

http://www.sunnyharbour.org.uk

Catbird

  • Guest
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #84 on: November 04, 2008, 12:50:14 PM »
Yep.  6 days apart is near enough as makes no difference.  Thanks.

Offline Lynds

  • Adult Cat
  • ***
  • Posts: 209
  • Izzy
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #83 on: November 04, 2008, 10:40:42 AM »

Nobo is the best cat in the world, but not around Izzy.


Sorry Lynds but I've got to ask - if Nobo is as described above and he was with you first, why is he getting re-homed or fostered and not Izzy?   :-:  Sorry but I've been wanting to ask that for a while.

C.


It's a good question and I pondered over which cat to lose over and over again. The deciding factor came down to the fact that Nobo is so laid back with everyone he meets. He's very good with strangers and children alike.

Izzy is extremely nervous and I'm her first human "owner". It's taken me three months to get her to trust me and it's been a lot of hard work. She won't go near anyone else and frightened of her own shadow, never mind children.

Nobo will recover fine through this, I fear Izzy will not. I also don't think Izzy is as desirable as Nobo due to her very nervous disposition.

I got them 6 days apart, so it's not as though Nobo has been around for months or years.

I hope this answers your question.

Lynds

Offline JackSpratt

  • Moderating Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 21871
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #82 on: November 04, 2008, 10:36:36 AM »
I thought Nobo was the newcomer, is that not right?




Carrie, Jack,Toby and Parsley ~ Love and miss you all always.x

Catbird

  • Guest
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #81 on: November 04, 2008, 10:28:29 AM »

Nobo is the best cat in the world, but not around Izzy.


Sorry Lynds but I've got to ask - if Nobo is as described above and he was with you first, why is he getting re-homed or fostered and not Izzy?   :-:  Sorry but I've been wanting to ask that for a while.

C.

Offline JackSpratt

  • Moderating Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 21871
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #80 on: November 03, 2008, 22:51:46 PM »
This is so sad. I really hope Nobo can be found a home soon. It's so stressful for you all.




Carrie, Jack,Toby and Parsley ~ Love and miss you all always.x

Offline Lynds

  • Adult Cat
  • ***
  • Posts: 209
  • Izzy
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #79 on: November 03, 2008, 21:21:41 PM »
Thanks Tan.

I can honestly say it's gone beyond behavioural therapy. The last bad attack resulted in Izzy peeing herself. Tonight he decided to attack her mid poo and I had to clean her afterwards - it was everywhere. They have separate litter trays and eating areas but he managed to get out. I spent most of my days crying; it's not good for any of us.

Nobo is the best cat in the world, but not around Izzy.


Offline Janeyk

  • Rescue & Rehoming/Moderating Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 21875
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #78 on: November 03, 2008, 20:01:21 PM »
Really good information Tan  :)
Please consider the harder to home cats in rescue.

Offline Millys Mum

  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • ******
  • Posts: 11930
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #77 on: November 03, 2008, 18:20:10 PM »
I dont have a problem with scruffing a cat, it can prevent injury to cat and handler so if its done in the right way then im ok with it,  but to scruff and spank is ridiculous, cat behaviour is complicated and cats dont understand physical discipline  :Crazy:
I hope any guests reading this thread dont take such comments on board  :scared:

Lynds has made the difficult decision to rehome which i think is the right one, the cats were mismatched from day one so it would take some pretty micraculous behaviourial adjustment to sort it out.


Offline Tan

  • Administrator/Shop Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 15702
    • Purrs Forum & Shop
  • Slave to: Marl, Garf, mr Blue, Gizzymo, Rio,Ochi,Ben, Bow & Arnie
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #76 on: November 03, 2008, 12:04:06 PM »
HI Hun a long read but good info from Celia Haddon  -http://www.celiahaddon.co.uk/


NOTES ON INTER CAT CONFLICT

Cats maintain social harmony by maintaining distance. They can prevent aggression in this way. There are go away signals such as staring, spraying etc. Most cats will spread themselves round an area with careful distances between each other. Within large groups there are often smaller family groups so a colony of 10 cats is really two groups of three and one of four.
Because they are not pack animals, they do not have the many appeasement signals used by dogs. Therefore aggression can become serious very rapidly. There are no signals to slow down aggression. Thus keeping a safe distance is vital. Scent messages help define territory or reveal who is passing by and when. Domestic cat groups are dysfunctional by their nature. There are no kittens to rear (feral groups sometimes share kitten nursing). They are usually not related, ie not a family group. They gender is mixed - ie they are not a group of related females, as they would be in a feral cat colony. The actual territory is imposed upon them, rather than chosen by them - ie an indoor group may not have enough safe distance or the territory may be unclear because of the cat flap in intruding strange cats.
Moreover rescue cats may have had different genes (ie be naturally more or naturally less sociable) and different upbringings (which also affects sociability). Domestic cats vary in shape and colour - unlike cats in the wild - thus making recognition less easy. Finally neutering affects faeces and urine odours and probably flank odours so that the smells are not natural.
There may be too many cats in one house - more than five makes conflict much more likely. And there may be too many cats outside. Suburbs often have a lot of pet cats. There is competition for latrine areas and sometimes competition for food (neighbouring cats raid through the cat flap or visa versa). Bullying and intimidation may occur without fighting.
The home environment may not be suitable. There may not be enough litter trays (one for each cat and one over). They may be sited so that one cat can be ambushed by another - they should be sited in different locations. There may not be enough feeding locations. Cats don't enjoy eating close to one another and if their relationship is bad, it's stressful for them.
There may be not enough beds (more than one per cat) or not enough safe high places to hide. High places reassure cats better than low ones. Slippery floors or unsuitable location of cat beds don't help.
Cats that have lived together happily, can sometimes have a breakdown in their relationship. Sometimes an outside intruder (another cat, a dog, or a fox) frightens the cats so much they they turn their anger on each other.
If the cats are indoor cats, they may see the intruder through the window and then attack each other. Group dynamics can also change when a new cat joins the household. Or when a mother cat starts chasing away a grown-up kitten. Or when a cat is pregnant or nursing kittens. Or even when two cats are housed separately in a cattery and then brought back together again. Sometimes time (ie pregnancy is over etc) will put this right.
Sometimes the cause is smell. Cats identify friend and foe by smell rather than by sight - this makes sense to a twilight hunter. Friends smell of each other and of the home territory. This is produced by rubbing on each other or by grooming. Cats rub on humans to mix scents.
One cat is taken to the vet and comes home smelling of the vet and is therefore identified as a foe. Or one cat goes out and gets a different smell on it (ie like horse manure) and comes home smelling like an unfamiliar enemy.
The major difficulty is that cats don't have a range of appeasement behaviours like dogs do. Within a group (pack) of dogs there are many ways the subordinate dog can deflect aggression or just make up to the top dog - submissive urination, rolling over, etc.
But with cats, if they have failed to prevent aggression, there is no way to turn if off. Once a fight has taken place, then both cats are more likely to fight a second time. So it is VITAL to act as soon as possible to make the cats feel better. Do not let bad feeling develop.
Aggressive play can take place which looks bad but isn't too serious. Ie. play attacking with some hissing and loose fur. But sometimes the victim cat ends up terrified, and permanently unhappy. The severity of the aggression must be judged by the unhappiness of the victim.

IS THE VICTIM SUFFERING?
1. Does the victim need veterinary treatment?
2. Are there wounds -- bitten ears, broken skin, blood etc?
3. Is one cat spending less time in the house because it is afraid to enter?
4. Is the victim spending its time hiding somewhere like under the bed?
5. Is the victim no longer grooming itself?
6. Is the victim too frightened to eat when the other cat is in the same area?
7. Is the victim too fearful to use the litter tray?
8. Is the victim no longer willing to approach you, because of fear of being attacked by the other.
9. Do you come back into the house to see signs of conflict?
10. Is the aggressor patrolling an area of the house so that the victim only has a small area of living space?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, this is serious aggression. If it has access to out doors the victim will soon leave home. My own feeling is that if you answer yes to more than three questions, you must rehome one of the cats. The victim is leading a life of almost constant fear. It is just not fair on the victim to expect it to live in this way. It is selfish to let this state of affairs continue.

METHODS OF IMPROVING A RELATIONSHIP WHICH IS NOT TOO BAD.
1. Do not punish them when fighting. If you do, they will associate the other cat with the fear and pain of punishment. Ignore minor scuffles, because otherwise they will stage fights to get your attention or wake you up in the morning! (I know this one!!). Never force them to be close.
2. Reduce competition. Make sure there are plenty of cat beds, scratching posts, a litter tray for each cat AND one extra, lots of feeding bowls in different locations and lots of water bowls in different locations. If the cats live in separate territories within the house, make sure there are litter trays and feeding bowls in both areas.
3. Get each cat to associate the scent of the other with nice things like treats. Wash your hands, then stroke cat A round the chin and cheek area (where the scent glands are). Then stroke this scent on to the cat B, meanwhile feeding it a treat. Then visa versa. The idea is that both cats associate the scent of the other with nice food.
4. If the cats have separate sleeping areas, swap bedding from one to another.
5. If there is an area you wish them to share (like the bed), call them to this area and give them treats only when they are both in the area and close to each other.
6. Give them titbits at times when you see them sharing a sofa or a windowsill etc. The idea is to reward them for closeness.
7. If they are indoor cats, or both spend a lot of time in one room, install a Feliway Diffuser which will make the general atmosphere more relaxing. Relaxed cats are less aggressive.
8. Guard against intruders or frightening wildlife by blocking off the sight of these, closing the cat flap permanently, or installing a magnetic cat flap so only the household cats can use it. This is important, because if the cats are attacking each other because of intruders/wildlife this will often end up in a genuinely bad relationship between them.
9. If a vet's visit triggered the aggression, take both cats to the vet's surgery just for a trip and make sure vet smells are wiped over both. (Explain this to your vet!). I have come across one pair of cats, where this put back the old loving relationship! Next vet visit make sure both cats are taken even if only one is sick.
10. Make sure there are plenty of hidey holes - cardboard boxes with holes are cheap - where cats can retreat if ambushed. Put in high shelves to cats to retreat to and look down from. Make sure routes to food or litter trays have these retreat areas so that a cat isn't ambushed on a piece of open ground. This can be done in the garden too. Lots of scratching posts.

ACCEPT A DISTANT RELATIONSHIP
Cats can sometimes work out a relationship which is remote but not abusive. They may live in different parts of the house, or in different rooms, with separate litter trays. If this is an acceptable relationship to them, and neither cat seems to be suffering, then it should be acceptable to you. Accept their decision.

SETTING UP SEPARATE AREAS. Here are some ideas.

1. Put a cat flap in the garage, install bed etc. and make one of the cats an outdoor cat. If the situation has been caused by taking a stray into the house, this will be a sensible solution. The stray is homed but out of doors. Separate living arrangements may not be a humane solution. It depends on the circumstances. Forcing a pampered cat to live in the garage, for instance, would be cruel, but it would not be cruel to let a stray (used to living rough) become the garage cat.
2. For cats that are used to collars… Install a magnetic cat flap into the airing cupboard/wardrobe/spare room. Let the victim have a bolt hole to itself. Install bedding and litter tray there. This will only work if the aggression is not too severe. If it is severe, the poor cat may simply live in the cupboard all the time.
3. Keep cats in separate areas with separate cat flaps. To be fair, you will have to divide your time between the two areas. Work out a timeshare arrangement in the garden so that one lot of cats is never out there when the other is.
4. Stop hassling during meals. Feed the bullied cat inside an upturned stout cardboard box, with a hole made in it. This prevents the bully cat from shouldering the bullied one out or staring menacingly. REHOMING This may cause you pain and suffering but may be the only way to relieve the pain and suffering of the victim cat. Truly caring owners should be prepared to do this. In the UK the Cats Protection are a good rescue shelter. Before handing over the cat make inquiries about their euthanasia policy. Find a neighbour who will take the cat on. Some cats truly blossom when they live alone.

Offline JackSpratt

  • Moderating Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 21871
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #75 on: November 03, 2008, 09:21:16 AM »


2. “There is no comparison between disciplining a child and an animal”. REALLY? I always thought of animals as children with less intelligence. Before you poo poo this notion show me one animal as intelligent as Einstein, Newton or Hawkings.


I haven't read all this topic and will do so later. But with regards to the statement above: regardless of how much we love our cats or any other animal they aren't human. They have a completely different perspective and thought process to us and it shows in a lot of their behaviour.

I agree consulting a behaviouralist wouldn't hurt, but I'm not sure punishment is constructive. Just my opinion.




Carrie, Jack,Toby and Parsley ~ Love and miss you all always.x

Offline Susanne (urbantigers)

  • Moderating Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 26645
  • PA to Mosi & Kito
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #74 on: November 03, 2008, 07:26:20 AM »
Basically I agree with you Susanne but what I am trying to say is dont pick on someone from the web cos they have a good site or have given themselves a big write up cos you could end up paying out loads and getting no proper advice.

Someone on Purrs did this and then had to start again.

So what I think I am trying to say is that you need someone who is recommended to you.

Point taken!  I'd go further and say dont' just go for someone recommended, but only go for someone referred by a vet and who is a member of the apbc or the other large organisation (forget the name! there are basically 2 bodies with which behaviourists are generally registered)

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

  • Rainbow Bridge/Rescue/Moderating Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 73567
  • Misa at 4yrs old and new with me
  • Slave to: Misa, Sasa, Franta Napoleon RIP, Ducha RIP and Lupin, Kocka RIP
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #73 on: November 03, 2008, 01:05:54 AM »
Basically I agree with you Susanne but what I am trying to say is dont pick on someone from the web cos they have a good site or have given themselves a big write up cos you could end up paying out loads and getting no proper advice.

Someone on Purrs did this and then had to start again.

So what I think I am trying to say is that you need someone who is recommended to you.

Offline Susanne (urbantigers)

  • Moderating Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 26645
  • PA to Mosi & Kito
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #72 on: November 03, 2008, 00:24:27 AM »
This is getting a bit heated now so can everyone please calm down.

Andy - you are completely right in that we are all amateurs and can only advise based on our own exeriences.   We cannot force others to follow our advice, however.  I'm sure Lynds has read your posts - there is no need to keep repeating yourself.

Lynds - I am really sorry you find yourself in this situation.  Unfortunately, you can't force cats to get on with each other and sometimes the kindest thing is to rehome a cat, rather than allowing a situation in which one or more cats are suffering.  Cats who behave in this way are not being naughty - they are behaving in a natural way with others of the their species.  In this sort of situation, modifying the behaviour is necessary, but that cannot always be done.  I certainly don't think punishing the cat will make any difference at all.  Cats don't resond to punishment per se since they are not pack animals and do not respect others in their pack, as dogs do.  They only modify their behaviour when it is advantageous to themselves to do so. 

I do think the advice to get help from a behaviourist is good, but I would advise you to get a referral from your vet.  Any behaviour specialist that is a member of a reputable organisation, such as the association of pet behaviour counsellors, will only accept cases that have been referred by a vet.  If you have pet insurance, a consultation with a behaviourist will probably be covered.

http://www.apbc.org.uk/vet.htm

Quote
I agree, specialist behavioural advice is the answer, from a well known established behaviourist but not someone just picked from internet cos someone on here did that and found them to be seriously ungood!

I believe that a few here can recommend Vicky Hall but do not know how much she charges.

I agree with everything you say except for the well known bit, Gill!  Being well known doesn't make someone a better behaviourist than someone who is not well known.  Think of a human comparison - if you were looking for a specialist doctor, would you seek out someone who was well known or would you just want someone good?  Incidentally, Vicky Halls is a member of the APBC so would only accept a case that was referred to her by a vet.

I hope you manage to resolve this, Lynds, whether it be by rehoming Nobo or by getting specialist help from a behaviourist.


Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

  • Rainbow Bridge/Rescue/Moderating Staff
  • Purrrrrfect Cat
  • *****
  • Posts: 73567
  • Misa at 4yrs old and new with me
  • Slave to: Misa, Sasa, Franta Napoleon RIP, Ducha RIP and Lupin, Kocka RIP
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #71 on: November 02, 2008, 23:19:53 PM »
I agree, specialist behavioural advice is the answer, from a well known established behaviourist but not someone just picked from internet cos someone on here did that and found them to be seriously ungood!

I believe that a few here can recommend Vicky Hall but do not know how much she charges.

Offline andyturner

  • Adult Cat
  • ***
  • Posts: 88
Re: How on earth do you discipline a cat?
« Reply #70 on: November 02, 2008, 22:32:59 PM »
Ok, what's your advice then?

 


Link to CatChat