George Died Today

[Kirst]

Oh dear me I promise I was sober when I wrote that last post!

My D key keeps sticking an I am a lousy typist.

After this afternoons exploits I am even more worrie - they went out a second time and ventured furthur - and no amount of name calling or foo shaking was getting them in........................we had to resort to Da Birdie.

[tigerbaby]

However I promised when I took them on they would have outside access an believe me if Jerry was kept in for the rest of his life he would be miserable.

I guess that as long as they are happy , if God forbid , the worst happens they will have had a happy life!

This is how I feel too.

[Kirst]

I am terrifie to let Gizzy and Jerry out as alkthough the road at the en of the srive is quiet , an in fact there is a chicane outside the house so traffic HAS to slow own , cats are by nature wanderers so who knows what coul ahppen.
However I promised when I took them on they would have outside access an believe me if Jerry was kept in for the rest of his life he would be miserable.

I guess that as long as they are happy , if God forbid , the worst happens they will have had a happy life!

[annettemarie]

Oh furbabystar I am so sorry for your losses...how awful for you.  What a dreadful thing for you to have to go through.  We live in a really rural area, but there is a road that leads to a private glen at the bottom of our garden and large farm machinery goes bombing up and down there, and cars...and although we locals drive slowly...(well I do) I worry that one of my babies will get hurt.  I pray every day when they go out for their safe return. 

Unfortunately we can't stop things happening...I think that everytime I let my cats out....they want to be out, they don't want to stay indoors all day, and at the end of the day I want to make them happy.  Please don't blame yourself...although I can understand its hard not to.  I feel for you so much, its so raw still with Crookie's passing, and I was there...and although I don't know exactly what you're going through I can imagine.

I hope all three of your babies are up there on rainbow bridge waiting for the day they can see you again....

You sound a lovely, caring lady....and they were lucky to have you love them even if it was for just a short time.

[Michelle (furbabystar)]

You are right, You don't ever get over it BUT You do learn to live with it....and I think that is what people are trying to say 

I have lost 3 cats to RTA and i think it is hard because of the guilt involved.
Heres my stories -

STAR.
When i was leaving to take my little boy to school Star tried to climb in the car, I laughted at her and got her out saying she was too young to go to school. I drove away and left her sitting in the drive....30mins later she was dead ! Why didnt i spend a couple of mins taking her back indoors ??
( i found out after that the women who hit her put her in the boot of her car ALIVE and took her children to school before taking Star to a vet...surprise surprise Star was dead once she got her to the vets)



MARMITE
She was only 6mths old when she was killed. She, like George, jumped out of the kitchen window. Why didnt i close the window ?


STORM
My Stormy....(and now i'm crying) The most wonderful cat, So loving, So special - My Boy !...... He was crying to go out but it was dark, I dont let any of the cats out once its dark but he kept on and on so i thought 5mins wouldnt hurt....HOW WRONG WAS I ???
Within 10mins a neighbour's Son was knocking on my door to say there was a cat in the road, Not thinking for one minute it was would be Storm I said i would go and have a look - but it was my Storm laying dead in the middle of the road, it was MY Storm i had to pick up and carry home. WHY DID I LET HIM OUT ? I CAUSED HIS DEATH !

So You see I know what You are going through xx

[annettemarie]

I was just dropping by to see how you are feeling?  Its not even been 24 hours since Crookie died, but I still can't think of her without tears.  Crookie went through illness, and I feel dreadful, but to lose your best friend through an RTA must be even more saddening.  I can't think how you're getting through it.

I have two more cats already, but I can understand how you say no more for you.  The pain is so total, I am now dreading the other two going, one is older than Crookie, and has one health scare already, and I am now living in fear of her going too.  I almost want to harden myself against it, but when I look at their little faces I can't.

No one will every replace Crookie, she was one in a million, and I'm saying no more pets, well not right now.  I need to morn her passing, and perhaps in time I'll get another cat, but the decision will rest with me. 

People say it will get easier in time...but right now its so raw I can't believe it.  I just keep wondering if I did the right thing by taking her to the vets, or did I leave it too late, was she in pain?  I have to keep reminding myself of the good times we had, the laughs and the giggles, and we had many.  I hope eventually I'll be able to do this without crying too!

Anyway, enough of my babbling....just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and wishing you well.
Annettemarie

[moiramassey]

Everyone reacts differently to a bereavement. When we share our experiences with you we are not saying that we expect you to feel the way we did.

George and you had a very special relationship. I think that it is good that you have buried George in the garden. Have you thought of making a memories box? I kept Sam's favourite toy fish and his collar. When I come across them again (Sam died 13 years ago), or come across a photo, it brings all those special memories back.

You did not let George down. He had a wonderful life with you.

Thinking of you.

[purrdy]

 
so very sorry for your sad loss
i know exactly what your going through 

[Rosella moggy]

There are very few cats in my area that have died from RTA. In fact I don't know of any in the area for the last 20 years. It's generally a very safe area ...... Some idiot not from the neighbourhood was hammering it down the road probably doing 50 in what should be a 20 zone

My road is exactly the same and the same thing happened to my beautiful Aslan. Sometimes very quiet roads can be dangerous in a different way as the cat does not become accustomed to the danger of traffic. 

[caledonia]

I would reitterate everything Roz has just said so wonderfully.

I know exactly how you feel about not thinking you will ever find a cat as special as George - I feel the same about Bertie who I lost in December and I now have another two rescue cats that I took in. Whilst they are very special , the bond I had with Bertie can never be replaced and he too seemed almost human and I just felt so close to him.

Bertie was a rescue cat who died after an illness, I had had him for two years and he was 9. I blamed myself for not going to the vets sooner, for not insisting they do more treatment, for not trying fluids for him ...a whole list of things and I know from other posters in Rainbow Bridge that these feelings of guilt are the same for whatever the circumstance.

Time does not make things easier - you maybe just miss them a little bit less. I am sitting in tears reading this because it makes me think of Bertie, even though it has been 9 months since he left. I still have his photo on the fridge and photo on my phone. No cat will ever replace Bertie - I think I was lucky to find him and no one gets that luck twice - he was the most perfect cat in the world for me as George was to you.

I also did not think I could ever have another cat but in the end the house was too empty without him and there were so many needy cats so I took a pair this time whose owner had passed away and had been in a rescue for three months. Maybe because they are so close, or maybe because I know they had an owner that really loved them and sadly died (unlike Bertie who was left at a rescue) or maybe because they sleep together in the livingroom ( Bertie slept curled round my head) I don't have the same bond with them but they are stil wonderful cats who greet me every time I come home and Edgar is curled up at my feet as I write this. Bertie introduced cats to me - before him I scorned at what I called 'cat crazies'  I am so fortunate to have had him but wish I had had him longer. Hopefully one day you too can look back and be glad of the time you did have 

[Roz]

Hello,

I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about the loss of your dear little friend, George.  It is always so much harder to accept the loss of a pet that is young and in its prime. It will be eight years on the 10th October since I lost my beautiful bengal, Ruby in an RTA and believe me, I know exactly what you are going through and I feel so very sad for you.  Ruby was just four when she was killed and was magnificent.  When I found her broken little body the following afternoon, (I had been looking for her all night) she was wet and had one eye closed but the other was half open.  I have photos of her looking like that when she was half asleep which I cannot bear to look at anymore.  I just couldn't come to terms with her loss.  I honestly don't think I had a happy day for five years following her death and I still think about her every day and punish myself for allowing her her freedom.  As you say, when you take on an animal, you become the custodian of their welfare and must take full responsibility for looking after them...You (we) should anticipate all the dangers....they are after all just dumb little creatures who know nothing about cars and speeding drivers...Why should they?  The roads are not their natural habitat.  Even after all these years, I still feel that by giving Ruby her freedom, I might just as well have put a pistol to her head.  So I know how you are feeling tonight.  Many of us on this forum do...and it is hell! The pain is overwhelming and heartbreaking....and enduring.

I decided to give a home to a rescue bengal in a bid to make something positive out of the tragedy.  It had to be another bengal as a tribute to Ruby, but we took the first one we were shown.  I lost this little sweetheart three years ago when she died within five days of becoming 'off colour ' and her illness not being diagnosed correctly by the vets.  She had an abscess on her lung which burst causing pneumonia and she died in the vet hospital.  Once again I was in shock and disbelief and crippled with the agonising pain that comes with the loss of a beloved pet  (I catproofed my garden too)

You said that George escaped from the open top light of a window and hardly ever went out.  So it begins to look almost like fate.  Perhaps this little darling was sent to you to show you love and open your heart to new experiences (you admitted to not being particularly interested in cats previously) and it would seem that he achieved this with flying colours..bless him.  Now that this very special little chap has taught you the love of an animal, he has gone home.  But I think his life will have been wasted if you do not accept the challenge of extending your love to another, perhaps  neglected, little cat at some future date.  I'm sure when the time is right, George will guide you to the 'right' one. He wouldn't want you to be unhappy and it is surprising how much joy a new pet can bring.  At first you will be reminded of George every time the new cat makes you laugh but gradually, over time, you will begin to laugh more at the newbie and think a little less about George until one day, the pain of George will be gone...but you will always keep the loving memory.  That is George's gift to you forever.  But there are so many little guys out there just looking for someone to love them...

And I definitely believe we will be reunited with our pets one day.  Just hold on to that thought and remember, when that wonderful day dawns, you and George will never be parted again.  He is in a place more beautiful than anything we can imagine and his life is filled with peace and love.

R.I.P. George sweetheart....go run in those sunfilled meadows and watch over your dad who misses you so much.

Thinking of you

Roz

[Gillian Harvey]

Annettemarie, I'm so sorry to hear about Crookie 

[annettemarie]

Hello there...I lost my Crookie cat today, she was a ginger tabby...and the best friend a girl could have.  We spent eight happy years together...but it hurt so much I haven't stopped crying since five this afternoon when the vet gave her an injection.  It was over so quickly.  I thought I'd have more time to say goodbye, but she had gone....I carried her home and buried her with my husband, and although I have my other cats, I can't find comfort.  I can't think of anything else.

I know with time the pain will ease, but I loved my cat, and she loved me, and I have to be thankful for that.  Better to have loved and lost and all that....

She made my life special....she thought I was worth it, even when I didn't.

I wish I could pass on a hug....


Annettemarie x

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

I appreciate all your sentiments but please don't keep telling me that I will get over it in time.

If you truly love something, you truly never forget a loved one.

No, you don't forget them.  Neither do you "get over" losing them.  But time does dull the pain you feel initially and most people learn to live with loss, although they still miss their loved ones (whether animal or human) terribly.  I think that each individual loss brings with it it's own particular pain - if they are young, you feel that it would hurt less if they died at the end of a long and happy life but if they die at an old age you still feel bereft after sharing your life with them for so long.  If they die suddenly you feel shock, if they have been ill for a while you face the horrible dilemma of when to let them go and guilt over whether you left it too late or let them go too soon.  There are no easy losses.

Maybe you will eventually decide you want to get another cat (not to replace George) or maybe you won't.  Either way, I'm so sorry for what you're going through.  Please believe that we do understand and that most of us have experienced what you are now feeling.  When I lost my Magpie 3 years ago it was very sudden.  He was fine when I left for work in the morning but when I got home that night he was lying on the floor paralysed.  He died a few hours later at the vets.  The first few days were just awful but I had another cat who needed me and eventually I knew that he needed some feline company, and I knew I never wanted to be without cats, so I got a new kitten.   

[ginge66]

Just want to say how sorry i am for your loss. Last year my old cats had to be PTS due to failing health and although upset at least I had some control over matters and was there at the end when he peacefully passed away. Twenty years ago I too lost a young cat to a RTA and felt absolutely devastated, I tortured myself for months after, relieving the day wishing I hadn't let him out etc. Like you I vowed never to have another pet but eventually did change my mind, maybe you will too but only you know how you feel.

Thinking of you

R.I.P George

[Angiew]

You have my sympathies - I lost Binky in an RTA 16 months ago - he was just coming up to his first birthday.
We live in a quiet road chosen many years ago for our cats.

The suddeness of the loss is devastating. We blamed ourselves for an easy access route round to the front of the house , swiftly blocked and really not the reason for the accident -  young titch at 9 months old now can still get round there and we watch him like a hawk and won't let him out if we are not around - again daft 'cos we were in when Binky got hit.

Anyway, it will take you ages to get over the shock, then you will no doubt go through the anger and grief. Take care, allow yourself time to grieve.

[ChrisB]

Ekko Star - I am so sorry to read about George.   Dawn is right that rta's do have their own issues as you must cope with the shock as well as the loss.   From my experience if a cat is older and has been unwell, awful though it is, the shock is not quite so raw.   The guilt thing is awful and, as Gill says, it seems to be there whatever the circumstances.   I know just how you are feeling as I lost my baby Chico (aged 2 and a half) to an rta in February 2006 and every day I shed a tear and tell him how much he is missed.   All our furbabes are special but it does seem so often that the ones taken so young almost knew that they had to pack so much into their short lives - you and George are lucky that you found one another.   Thinking of you, take care.

[Dawn F]

my Algie was 18 months so young like George
 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I dont think you are being arguementaive but just suffering from terrible grief and think you have hit the nail on the head  cos you think you let him down.

You didnt and the blame element is a stage of the grieving process and as Dawn says RTAs  have a special effect and that is it.

it helps to talk to peeps who have been there and sadly so many hear have including Mary.

Even when you lose a cat after many years due to ill health, you still feel that someone is to blame, yourself for not getting better care, or the vet for not caring enough etc etc.

I know it wont help much but these are for you 

[maryas]

[I can't believe the other poster is saying that I am being argumentative and not listening to anyone. My cat died tragically 2 days ago and it's affected me badly, that's all.
[/quote]

In MY opinion you are and this is my final word as you are not reading a word I say - if you did you would know that I am griving to and I feel like I let my cat down too.

Mary

[ekko star]

its nice that george will be close by, I do think loosing a cat in an rta does have its own issues, I will always think I let my Algie down by not keeping him safe from the road

Thank you. I think that is exactly how I feel. George relied on me to look after him and I let him down. Maybe if he was older and wiser I could feel that he let himself down. He was only one years old and he very much looked upto me to look after him. I made him a promise I would and I didn't.

I can't believe the other poster is saying that I am being argumentative and not listening to anyone. My cat died tragically 2 days ago and it's affected me badly, that's all.

[maryas]

Ekko Star - you are not listening again - I have never told you how to grieve and if you read my previous comments you will see that I too am still grieving.

I think you are being too argumentative at the moment and not taking in what we are saying - everyone is so nice on here and we sometimes have a difference of opinion but that's what we are about.

I too buried my cat in my garden in April - hope you picked a nice spot.

Mary

[Dawn F]

its nice that george will be close by, I do think loosing a cat in an rta does have its own issues, I will always think I let my Algie down by not keeping him safe from the road

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I think you  misunderstand............you never ever get over it but the pain that you feel now fades with time......thats just how the grieving process works.

With some it can be quicker than with other and for some it lasts for years.

The grieving process has several set stages and until you go through them all, you dont come out at the other end. If this doesnt happen then its time to get medical help or grievance counselling, sometimes just talking to others like us helps.

Soooooo nooooooo you will always miss him and think of him in a special way and most of us can tell you that even a long time after losing your best friend there are those moments of unconsolable grief which often is sparked from some little memory.

Kocka went to the Bridge at age 20  three yrs ago this July and just typing this causes lots of pain and am reaching for the tissue box again 

[ekko star]

I do not think you are being fair.  You came on to this forum for us to share with you and that is what we are doing.

Mary

I am extremely happy and encouraged by all the nice sentiments people are sending.

I do find it unfair that you seem to think you know how everyone else should grieve. I'm afraid whilst I do indeed welcome your sympathy please don't tell me how I should grieve.

Whilst I appreciate some people get over things with time there are some things people don't. A death of a loved one is not something all people just simply get over. Even after passage of many, many years.

FYI George was buried today in my garden.

[maryas]

I appreciate all your sentiments but please don't keep telling me that I will get over it in time.

If you truly love something, you truly never forget a loved one. Truly loved ones actually hurt more as more time goes by.

He was an indoors cat and very rarely got let outside for more than few moments at a time and watched upon very, very carefully. I left the kitchen window open, he went out and got himself killed. That's it.

There are very few cats in my area that have died from RTA. In fact I don't know of any in the area for the last 20 years. It's generally a very safe area and even then I was incredibly protective over him. Some idiot not from the neighbourhood was hammering it down the road probably doing 50 in what should be a 20 zone (there's a junior school 100yds down the road), saw the cat, skidded 20 yards hit and killed him. He then shot off screeching and left my cat to die. The neighbours came out to see what the screeching was about only to find George lying there. My neighbour was so incredibly gutted to even come tell me.

Whilst I accept that these things happen it makes it very difficult to reconcile it happened to George.

Basically it feels like you've just turned your back and your little child gets killed. Yes, he was a little person that got killed quite unnecessarily. Loved ones killed in such tragedy is simply not something you can forget or are ever replaceable with thoughts of another.

No more cats for me, that's for sure but thanks for the sentiments all the same.

[/color]

I am truly sorry for the way you are feeling and for the death of George BUT I get the feeling now that you are not listening to a word we are saying to you - I have repeated myself and you do not seem to be taking anything in - I am giving you the benefit of the doubt as you may be genuinely upset and grieving but for you to tell us all not to say you will get over it and repeat everything else you have said I do not think you are being fair.  You came on to this forum for us to share with you and that is what we are doing.

Mary

[Stuart]

So So Sorry to hear about George, These furbabies that come into our lives leave
a massive hole when for whatever reason, they have to go, and there isn't nothing
I can say to take the pain away 

It's My Hamish's 1st Bridge anniversary today, and it is really hard as I am away from
Home surrounded by stranger's trying not to breakdown in tears..

George Hamish will keep you right at the Bridge..

[tigerbaby]

I'm so so sorry for your loss. This thread has made me shed a few tears as I know what you mean when you say George was like a mini human, and a good friend. So many people think of cats as 'just cats' but they are so much more than that, they are our special little friends and soul mates.
Like you I would never have called myself a 'cat person', and I never even planned to get a cat, but in walked this special little guy into my life, and into my heart... He was your best friend, of course he has left a huge empty void in your heart, but please don't beat yourself up about it, rest assured you gave him the best life you could. Accidents happens but George doesn't want you to be sad for him, he wants you to smile and remember the good times.

I hope you manage to feel better soon. Jameson (my cat) says he just recieved an e-mail from George, saying he's having a great time at the Bridge, chasing butterflies and rainbows with the other kitties and asks everybody not to be sad, but to cherish and celebrate the life you had together and all the good memories. 

[ekko star]

I appreciate all your sentiments but please don't keep telling me that I will get over it in time.

If you truly love something, you truly never forget a loved one. Truly loved ones actually hurt more as more time goes by.

He was an indoors cat and very rarely got let outside for more than few moments at a time and watched upon very, very carefully. I left the kitchen window open, he went out and got himself killed. That's it.

There are very few cats in my area that have died from RTA. In fact I don't know of any in the area for the last 20 years. It's generally a very safe area and even then I was incredibly protective over him. Some idiot not from the neighbourhood was hammering it down the road probably doing 50 in what should be a 20 zone (there's a junior school 100yds down the road), saw the cat, skidded 20 yards hit and killed him. He then shot off screeching and left my cat to die. The neighbours came out to see what the screeching was about only to find George lying there. My neighbour was so incredibly gutted to even come tell me.

Whilst I accept that these things happen it makes it very difficult to reconcile it happened to George.

Basically it feels like you've just turned your back and your little child gets killed. Yes, he was a little person that got killed quite unnecessarily. Loved ones killed in such tragedy is simply not something you can forget or are ever replaceable with thoughts of another.

No more cats for me, that's for sure but thanks for the sentiments all the same.

[ronandcats]

Rest in peace little one, we all loved you God bless from us all at lostcatsbrighton xxx

[barney]

Sorry to hear of your loss, I lost my cat Teejay last year through my own stupidity I actually drove over her as I left for work in the morning. Like you I never had much interest in cats before I had her, was just asked to look after her while her original owner went on holiday. It was agreed eventually that as Teejay spent  more  time with me than the owner I would look after her permanently. I had her roughly 4 or 5 years, eventually she kinda grew on me and I decided to buy this house for her so she could have a garden and trees and do what cats do. And then the fateful day came last year and boy did it hit me, probably  had the worst  Christmas ever last year and went through 2 months of tears  and upset,  but as others have said time is a great healer and it is. But not a day goes by when I do not not think of  her, I still  feel  guilty  about what I  did even though it was an accident and I  still talk to her ashes every day. Life is cruel and not fair at times and sometimes heart wrenchingly painful, most people on here have all been through what you  are now going through now and words  will not be enough. But you will get through it in your own time and pace. And when you are ready get yourself another cat to look after. The only other thing I'd say is  without wanting to sound offensive is cars, roads and cats do not mix so if you do get another  cat, cat  proof  your garden..... 

[Topsy Turvey]

  George.

[Rosella moggy]

I have lost cats after 18 and 20 years and also (after I had lost my heart to Aslan) after only 4 months. The pain was unbearable each time but you find a way though all the same.  I could never be without a cat.

So sorry to hear of your loss 

RIP gorgeous George 

[Kirst]

I have lost cats over 10 years old and less than a year old - its no easier when they are older.

Although Georges life mat have been cut tragically short it sounds as if he coul no have benn  ore love or better looked after. 

[ekko star]

In actual fact I'm not a pet person nor a cat guy at all. When my parents used to have a cat I never had much time for them to be honest.

However, you come across something or someone that changes everything. That one was George.

He brought so much life to this house it was unbelievable. Much joy back into a house which has been an empty shell after my parents died. They would have adored him. In actual fact he had become the sole centre of attraction in the household and all the neighbours loved him. Very much doted upon and loved beyond belief.

All of that lost in a split second by some idiot speeding beyond belief in a built up area, skidding 20 yds before he hit George.

What on earth can you say to that apart from accept it and hurt forever onwards ? Many of you it seems have lost their companions after a fair few years - you are so lucky you were given the time.

No more cats, I can't bear the pain beyond this. His life was robbed and he's killed my soul.

[Kirst]

Im so sorry to hear about George. Once you have been owned by a cat then they leave thier mark on you forvever and are irreplaceable - I could never have replaced Oscar but Jerry and Gizmo are so very very different and have helped me heal.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I am so sorry to hear about George and believe me , most of us know exactly how you feel . In time it does get a bit better, not a lot but the pain fades and so many of us have best friends on the Bridge. George will decide for you whether you have another cat and so often as others on here will tell you, some kind of message often happens 

RIP George, taken too young but left a pawprint in your humans heart forever.

[maryas]

No matter how old they are we are always inconsolable and no other cat will replace George, that is why I said that Bonnie has not replaced Smudge - I know how you feel and yes it is like loosing a child My Smudge slept on the pilllow next to me for 13 years and he was my son.

Mary

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

Ahhh ekko you are obviously a cat man and as such you may not have any choice in whether another kitty comes into your life.  Obviously you must grief for George and at the moment your pain is still raw but never say never.  Cat's instinctively know good people when they come across them and you never know when another little soul may look to you for the love and care you clearly have to offer.

[ekko star]

If he had lived for a few years it would have been far more consolable. His birthday was only last week. One years old and he's already gone.

My beautiful, beautiful George I can't believe that he's gone. I couldn't bear to see him just lying there, truly broke my heart. I feel like I've lost a child.

No more cats for me. Very little point as there'll never be another like him.