To my little fluffykins
Thank you so much for tonight's entertainment. It's been a while since you were last sick, so it was clever of you to realise that tonight would be the perfect night to re-introduce the act of vomiting into our lives. Choosing to vomit on top of the cables in the corner behind the rather heavy tv that I cannot move was a master stroke. And the timing was perfect. How did you know that half way through eating my chicken pie was the perfect moment? Although if I'm being picky, a couple of minutes earlier would have been better. I didn't mind at all that I threw away what hadnt been eaten and will probably never eat a sainsburys chicken pie in gravy again. The colour and texture was rather too similar to your last meal, if you get my drift. My waistline thanks you for that. The icing on the cake, so to speak, was that there was only a small piece of fur in your vomit. That means we are likely to have a repeat performance very soon. I so look forward to that. If the corner behind the tv is old hat now, may I suggest you choose under the bed next time? Or how about on top of the wardrobe? Or if those places are not to your liking, there's always on top of the duvet in the middle of the night. After all, I've not tried out the new washing machine with bedding yet. If you're feeling particularly generous, you could always have a word with Jaffa and arrange for you and him to vomit at the same time. You know how I like it when you co-ordinate your vomiting. Double the fun! I have the bottle of simple solution to hand and am ready and raring to go.
Happy vomiting!