my cats will not get along

[tillywilly]

the vicky halls book i ve got is Cat Confidential: The Book Your Cat Would Want You to Read, nothing on aggression though. 
I would like another one of her books can anyone recormmend one that has a bit on aggression. 
the book i have that does have a chapter on aggression is Twisted Whiskers: Solving Your Cat's Behavior Problems by pam Johnson.

Anyone have any ideas how I can manage my 2 on a rainy day, when they are both confined  to the house. I live in a small 2 bed house.

[koscha (Ruth M)]

 Sorry to hijack but quick question.......Which Vicky Hall book is the best for behaviour type issues? I've just looked at Amazon in desperation as RW's chased Keli under the futon AGAIN and found at least 7 different ones 

[tillywilly]

Thanks Leanne, i am just the same on tender hooks, on edge waiting for the next interaction, which can be okay.  And I too thought my cat is looking at me with such an unhappy face.  I am trying to be chilled.

The behavorist did cost alot of money, but at the time it was either try absolutly everything or rehome the kitten, well you can guess which we went for.  The behavorist at the time did some good, but he's grown and is going outside, what she said no longer aplies.  I have got a book recently "Twistered whisker" which has given me some advice.  I did get a vicky Halls book years ago but was not too impressed.  I hear she is doing a cat whisper programe on TV - I would love her to come and give me some help.  May be the next series.

thanks everyone

[Millys Mum]

I hope they didnt charge you too much, you would get more out of a vicky halls book for less than a tenner!

Hopefully with time she will except him

[Leanne]

I think sometimes the hissing etc can sound worse than it is, when Milo arrived he was only 12 weeks old and completely mad (he still is) and Jess (who is now 2) looked at us with a look that said "what on earth is that" for a few weeks there was lots of playing fighting and chasing, hardly any hissing. I was on edge the whole time, but after I settled down they soon settled down and now they really are the best of friends.

Be patient and try to chill a little bit (easier said than done I know) and see what happens

[tillywilly]

Thanks both for your help

The behavorist had no other suggestions.

My older cat we guess is around 5 years old, and yes I see from being the only child to having another sibling will put her nose out of joint.  I do make time to fuss the cat 1 to 1.  also the kitten is in a seperate room where his bed, litter and food is.

On blackcats recomendations I have/ Iam being more relaxed around them - when they are together, and this seems to be working, my cat is more relaxed too I am sure she picks up the anxious vibes off me.  After all the kitten is behaving like a kitten, which I had forgotten.

Talking to a friend yesturday, he has 3 cats and 2 of them do not get on, he said they are always looking for an excuse to have a swipe at each other.

[Hippykitty]

How long was your older cat alone? Sometimes they get very stuck in their ways and don't welcome newcomers, especially if they're used to being the only cat in the house.

Make sure you give your older cat lots of attention and don't over-fuss the kitten. Your older cat is used to being with you and suddenly has this usurper to deal with; she could be very jealous.

Can you keep the kitten separated for a while, perhaps in a spare bedroom? This way your older cat will get used to the idea that there is another cat in the house without having to meet it head-on.

Your older cat may not want to play in the way the kitten expects it to. Sometimes young cats can be a pain in the bum, especially where more mature cats are concerned, they don't want to play, they JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE TO SLEEP! (Imagine older cat shouting this at kitten!)

Put yourself in your more mature cat's position. Wouldn't you be a bit  'd off? 

[Millys Mum]

How old is your adult cat?
Cats socially mature around 3years of age so dont expect things to stop at 12months, sorry!

Did the behaviourist not have any other suggestions? 

[Bazsmum]

Hey BC would you tell Charlie boy it's time to settle down? 

He needs a playmate C....that will get rid of some of that excessive energy! 

[blackcat]

well, ok, he still has manic moments - is having one right now  For Tillywilly, here is a mini-video of him and Esther when he was smaller - you will have a long wait for Esther to appear .......

woops wrong video - better now, all fixed 

[Maddiesmum]

Hey BC would you tell Charlie boy it's time to settle down?  He's 16 months and on the go all day long!!

[tillywilly]

thanks again blackcat

Sounds like a similar situation, my cat had had a litter before I got her too.

I am feeling reasured, we just love this cats so much, we want to be a happy family.

[blackcat]

i ve never had a kitten before, when do they grow up?? what I mean is when will he start to chill out a bit

they never do!! on a more serious note though, by the time he is 12 months old he will start to slow down. He will still play games that look quite rough, but they will be fine together. I got Smidgen and Esther around the same time but from two different places. Esther was an adult female who had weaned her last litter of kittens, and Smidgen was 14 weeks old. He is now just over 12 months and has stopped flying around the walls but is still not averse to pouncing on Esther while she is sleeping. But she just gives him a swipe and he knows better than to pursue the matter ...

[tillywilly]

thanks so much, the kitten is neutered and vaccinated.  I know I need to relax.

i ve never had a kitten before, when do they grow up?? what I mean is when will he start to chill out a bit

[blackcat]

Hi and welcome to PUrrs. You have come to the right place for advice about cat behaviour, although we will occasionally give conflicting advice. My advice is to take what works for you and ignore the rest. Firstly, about the kitten. Is is neutered and vaccinated? if not, they it really should not be going outside as there is a risk of him getting other cats pregnant (and frankly there are too many stray kittens out there) or of being beaten up by the neighbourhood tom (and feral toms fight to kill at times). Secondly, the adult female is behaving the way any adult cat will behave with a kitten. She is simply disciplining it and telling it what is, and is not, acceptable behaviour. She is being a bit of a grumpy old aunt who has valuable china she doesn't want broken. The kitten is behaving like any growing thing, it is exploring its boundaries and trying things on. If you look at it this way, you will find that the behaviour you are describing is not all that bothersome. I would let the older cat get on with the job of telling the kitten off so that the kitten grows up to be a well-adjusted cat.

Do take her to the vet though, as the weight loss is always a worry and may not be related to the arrival of the kitten.

Good luck, and learn to relax and understand that you need to view things from the cats' perspective, not a human one ... it really is just a matter of time ... 

Unless

[tillywilly]

Please , please help me I am at my wits end......

In March we got a kitten (male) to be company to my adult cat, oh how wrong.  My cat (lady) - who we know no history of because she came from a charity, dislikes the kitten, she growles when she heares/sees him, and does like to prode him with her paw.  The kitten often likes to jump on my cat and again pokes her with his paw in a playful way.  They are not learning how to share the same space, because its so stressful to hear the growling from my cat, I isolate them away from each other just for a bit of peace.  My cat did settle down a bit, but now her appitite has dropped and I have just booked her in at the vets because I am so concered about her weight loss.  My husband adores the kitten.  We had a behavorist out to the house who advised distracting the kitten away from my cat because he just loves to play, but now he goes outside I can not supervise them all the time.

Is this a awaiting game, which is my husbands attitude, how long has it taken for others cats to finaly settle down and begin to tolerate each other. 

I am a very desperate person please help me.