Allo me little Poop Master Generul
Oh noes - yoo got der 'splodin bum agin? I finks yoo is needin more of dat buttery toast, p'rhaps?
Dat kitten seesun back agin alreddy too an you has Shtrudel's new kitties ter fink of. Is gud Aunty T got lil babies, cos dey iz like der spring comin back. All dat noo life.
Mindin yoo, noo life can be very exhausteratin, so's yoo gotster keep both of dem eyes on yer meowmy, and go makin shoor wot she dunt do too much.
I iz eetin. Terday I etsum toona an' sum minced chickun. I dint eat der kit-e-kat stuff. Bleh! But I iz definutely nommin. Me Faberlush Lady Lexy gives me der side-aways glances and we goes dweamies tergevver, an haz nice fings ter eat. An we sleeps lots.
She be gud an soft fer snuzzlin up to when I sleeps.
I not gettin der hang of dis bee speek. I tries, but me secrut bee dunt say nuffink wot I unnerstan's.
Buzz off - I likes dat!
Yoo is gud lil man. Dat made me laff.
Wot happund to der waspie wot woz in Shooga Plum's house? Hope nobuddy et it. Dey is not gud ter eet. Better ter have buttery toast.
Dat George Formby man - aksed me meowmy an she sez wot he got a yookerlaylee. Sounds narsty ter me an e prob'ly haz ter see der vetman reg'lar. Prob'ly caught it from der lamp-post. Dunt yoo go leanin on no lamp-posts Pedders. Yoo sticks ter yer helipopter bed, yus?
Okay. I goez now. I finks me daddy is makin interesteratin' noises in der kitchun. I be back later. PPPPrrrffffppppt to yoo an ter Aunty T -
Oof!
Oof! (Dey woz big cuggles!) xxx
Unkel Paddy