My cats are CC top cats! How do I know if emails are genuine?

[Hippykitty]

Thanks Lesley. I think I'll do a cut and paste reply for general ones, and fill in particular details to save time.

I forgot to mention that one of my babes has gone to his new home. Alfie has gone to live with Rebekah. She's had him 'booked' for a month or so. It was heart-wrenching to part with him, even though he's gone to a close friend and I'll see him again and get regular updates. When she collected him, I went with her to see him settled. She kept him in the carrier for half and hour while her other cats inspected him. He was growling like a good un! Sticking up for himself. Then she put him in his settling room which is much nicer than my back room. He hid under a wardrobe. He's still there but is eating well and using the litter tray. I think he hides when she goes into the room.

I think he's lonely for the rest of the colony, hopefully he'll like R's cats when she lets them mingle. He's off to the vet for his vaccinations soon.

[LesleyW]

I reply to any e-mails I have received, but I then ask prospective owners for a  phone number so that I can speak to them personally, you get a better feel for people over the phone.  If they pass that, I then suggest they come and visit the cats.

You can tell alot from people on how they act with the cats and how they act in your home.  I have had some who turn up, the whole family, which is good because you want the whole family to meet their prospective kitty, but then the kids are left to run riot around YOUR house, obviously these families do not have a cat.  Also some only stay 10 minutes, not much time to choose a prospective family member, in my opinion, whereas others can be there for over an hour.  Because I deal mainly in kittens, I know they are going to be good owners when they come for regular visits and bring toys etc.  If they are willing to put in the effort before having the cat, then hopefully it will be the same when the cat goes to them.

Also home visits are essential, just to suss out the area the cat is going to etc.

I certainly do not deal with people via the internet only, you at least have to speak to them to get a gut instinct if nothing else.

As you mentioned previously HK, it is difficult to judge anyone from meeting them on a computer.

[Hippykitty]

Going off at a tangent here with a related query for experienced rescuers.
I've been getting a few emails enquiring about the cats - saying that they want one etc - which have company addresses on and website links. Maybe I'm overly suspicious but I wonder if these are some kind of spam. I'm treating them as genuine, but answering them as genuine is taking a lot of time when they seem suspect.

Have others had experience of this? Somehow they seem odd. One even gave some details of what the company did! Hotmail had automatically junked it; I noticed the email when I checked the junk bin.
How do you deal with them?

[Millys Mum]

My son never picks any of the cats up, and he has a big scar across his head from where Macey scratched him when he fell on her, she has not gone anywhere. But I supposed different things happen in different situations. 

Sadly theres not many people with that attitude 
I grew up being terrorised by our cat Taffy, he had episodes when he would attack us for no reason and i have the scars to remember him by  i dont know whether i should be disappointed that my mum didnt mind her children being abused by the cat 
Most people would stick a Taffy cat out of the family home. His mum was a BSH and his dad was very likely a feral cat as they have always lived around his birthplace.

[ccmacey]

My son never picks any of the cats up, and he has a big scar across his head from where Macey scratched him when he fell on her, she has not gone anywhere. But I supposed different things happen in different situations.

I think your looking for the type with the "perfect life", which is not always a good scenario. My life is hectic, 2 kids 5 cats and 2 rabs but they all get well looked after.

I just think dont make assumptions before you meet them in person, and yes you will have to try a few and it will be tiring and time consuming but in the end your doing it for the cats, seeing them in a happy forever home is the reward you get for yourself.

[CarolM (Wendolene)]

he mentioned barring certain rooms after I mentioned the furniture scratching

It must be so difficult to make judgements over the phone - you really need to see for yourself.  Korky is barred from the lounge (except when we are in there) but he has lots of other rooms to go at.  He's a scratcher par excellence - he's ruined the hall carpet and bottom stair (the first thing anyone sees when they come in the house) and when I took the loose cover off the chair in the hall that was supposed to protect it all the foam inards fell out  And before you ask he's had every type of scratching pole/mat imaginable but none can compare with the furniture.

Good luck with the homing.  I'm sure the perfect people will come along - eventually

[Hippykitty]

Dawn, that's exactly why I've specified no young children. Imagine the scenario, a 3yr old and one of my almost domesticated ferals. The child runs round excitedly,  attempting to play with and may be handle the cat. The cat would hide, the child would chase and try to get the cat from hiding place. Next scene: a child bleeding heavily from a bad scratch and the cat on its way back to me, or worse.

One of the slight reservations I had about the first guy I spoke to - the posh one - was that I imagined his family living in a pristine house with expensive furniture. So I asked him if he was prepared for the fact that cats scratch furniture and I laughingly told him that my sofa is ripped to shreds and has throws on to cover this up. He paused and asked if they could be trained not to do this, "not in my personal experience, though I have met people with cats and unscratched furniture".  I then asked if he was prepared for litter trays etc, and he described a utility area it could be in. Suspecting that he may be thinking of outdoor only cats with limited access to the house (he mentioned barring certain rooms after I mentioned the furniture scratching) I asked if the cats would be kept in at night. He seemed to think I meant short term and said he thought they had to be kept in for a few months anyway.....

So I had reservations, but felt he was prepared to learn.

I wish the women would phone instead, as they are probably the ones who want the cats and will be dealing with poop and vomit etc. By the way, all my ferals are litter trained, they did it instinctively. Speaking of which, I'll have to feed them and change them soon.

[Desley (booktigger)]

We dont have a policy of no kids, but it does depend on the cat - I have one here I wont home with young kids, as he hates being picked up, and he panics and he could hurt someone, and if a child was used to cats, it might take a while to understand he can't be picked up. I prefer to have them bring their children and see how they interact, and how the parent deals with them, as I think children should have pets, we need more animal lovers in the next generation.

[Dawn (DiddyDawn)]

Are cats never to live with kids?

I think cats and kids can be great but in the case of a semi feral, I would tend to go for older kids, rather than younger ones because most would need a nice quiet household to settle into initially.  Most of my ferals are great with us but very nervous where children or strangers are concerned.  If you get them young enough as in a few weeks, you would be hard pushed to tell some of them were once living wild.

[ccmacey]

I agree with both Kelly and Dawn.

Are cats never to live with kids?

I have 2 young kids and 5 cats, the cats are not compromised in any way, I just dont like when this is seen as a big no no. Obviously if you have demon child's it is.

Let your eyes judge not your ears, for the kittys sakes.

[Dawn (DiddyDawn)]

I'm more inclined to regard someone well-spoken as genuine.

I have met and know quite a few very well spoken people who are far from genuine, just because some of us have accents doesn't mean we are dishonest.  I take people as I find and if they don't sound right for my cats, well spoken or not, they don't get one.  I had one very well spoken woman phoned me about one of mine, she explained she had a 5 bedroomed house, conservatory, etc etc, she wanted a long haired kitten that she could spend her day brushing but she didn't want a black one as it would leave hair on her cream sofa         What more could a kitty want, living in a big house, with loads of money, well spoken new mummy........did she get a kitten off me?  No!!

[Dawn (DiddyDawn)]

As I've said before I don't judge on accents, rehoming is hard enough without adding this one to the list of no no's but I do feel I have to connect for the cats sake as much as anything.  That may sound harsh as I know we can't get on with everyone, but for me, I like to be able to keep in touch with people who have had cats off me in the past and I think if you don't click, then this would make keeping in touch more difficult    Also, if you feel comfortable with someone, and they do with you, they are more likely to get in touch if they have any problems no matter how small, and this can be dealt with there and then.  I always emphasise that any problems they have, no matter how far along in the future, I am there and if the cat needs to be returned for whatever reason, they can be.  The way I look at it, if you had a child that needed looking after, if you didn't get on with the person, you're not likely to leave the child in their care.  As far as tidy houses, that doesn't matter, mine gets like a bomb site at times but it doesn't stop me loving the cats.......if a house was too tidy, I would probably worry more because they're less likely to be happy about a new furbabe wrecking something.

[Kelly]

Ok, not posted in a very long time but this compelled me a little. My concern with how people sound over the phone - I come from Rossendale and have a broad Lancashire accent whic someone very kindly told me once makes me sound 'common and inbred' However, I am a teacher and my fella is in ICT so well educated. I have a 2 yr old and work all day. I live about 75yards from a main road (down bottom of a hill). Now from that I don't sound too tempting. Again, however, I have 3 amazing kitties, including my semi- feral babe Poppy and my 'special needs' little kitty Purrcy. All 3 are fab cats and lead happy lives. I foster for a rescue and have successfully rehomed a number of cats/kittens. Phonecalls are deceptive things and people are drawn for whatever reasons by certain accents - just because the second phonecall seemed too 'planned' does not mean it is not genuine - if my fella is making a call for me and is unsure of what to say I will bullet point everything he needs to remember for me - this could have been the case here - he could have been reading from a crib sheet - that doesn't necessarily make it BS. Obviously, by the sound of it ferals weren't the right type of cat - but a home check will determine. Again though the most untidiest house ever can be the one where the cats are the most loved - its not the most enviable task HK but for your kitty's sake you need to try and get to see as many as you can before saying no (unless its glaringly obvious!) As for not going on about cats that passed away - 1. It was a man - and you were expecting emotion from him to a stranger??????? 2. It hurts some people to remember - know it sounds daft but I know some people view their furbabes like human counterparts so is an ok comparison - if a stranger asked me about family members passing away I would not launch into a discussion about my sister as it would be too upsetting - some people are the same with their kitties who have passed on.

[Dawn (DiddyDawn)]

I think sometimes it helps if someone phones and they feel they can talk to you after they've recently lost their babe, if you think a lot of people aren't true cat people and who can they talk to at the end of the day?  I think a lot of peeps feel isolated when their babes go to the bridge and it's good to find people who understands, although I have to say I usually end up blubbering as well.  I remember a friend phoning me worrying about her cat because he was unwell, I ended up in tears cos he was ill, she was putting a brave face on and ended up consoling me      I'm not very good when people are upset but I have to say I do have a special soft spot for her special lad   

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I think if you are looking for a cat very soon after one going to the Bridge  and in my case was the only cat I had had, what else could I think and talk about.

I needed another cat so bad and ao quickly, mind you i had explainewd all this by email and I was lucky cos the lady who came to home check had recently lost her special friend too.

I think that the home visit would determine whether the too perfect were right and agree its so difficult not to be swayed how people talk.

I remember talking to a very posh person before Christmas and she said she had a friend who sounded just like me 

[Dawn (DiddyDawn)]

I'm one of those that do judge over the phone but I judge the attitude not the accents.  I can't very well judge an accent as I've got a mancunian one so not the best accent in the world    I always follow my first gut feelings, twice I let my head over rule and on both occasions I got the kitties back as my gut feeling was right first time round    I think it does come with practise but if I don't like the sound of someone over the phone, and I can't connect with them, then they won't get a kitty from me.  I think you do need to play it by ear and if you get on well on the phone, the next step is the home check and meeting these guys.  I'm sure you'll manage to find them great homes but if you feel unsure about someone, I'd suggest maybe they are not the right person.  To avoid upsetting anyone, I usually say that I have got someone interested but they are going to let me know so I can do a homecheck just in case the home falls through etc etc.........

Good luck with them, they all look absolutely   

[blackcat]

I'm with you there Desley on the 'don't mention the war' approach to speaking of a recently departed cat - I can be quite terse about it if there is any danger of me overflowing in public or to a stranger on the phone, it comes with practice HK, but think you are sensible to err on the side of caution ...

[Desley (booktigger)]

I was very nearly put off by someone's accent last year, but I would have turned down a wonderful home. Some people, especially people ringing a rescue for the first time, aren't sure of wording to use, and can be offputting, but sometimes you just have to ask a bit more.
With talking about cats they have lost, I dont generally go on about my bridge babes, if it is mentioned, I do generally just say it as a 'the cat I lost last month' (recent example) - the reason being last time I was talkign to someone and elaborated more than normal, I ended up in tears, so to avoid crying in front of people who haven't met/spoke to me before. So they could be doing it for a similar reason.

[Kittybabe (Ruth)]

I hope you would call me well-spoken, mind. 

Erm.. yes You are! Even Lexy told me the lady wot spoke posh was nice and didn't need to get the claw  

I have to agree that I have to curb myself in these cases. I do struggle with the way people speak but that is a purely personal issue and I acknowledge this in myself. If  I was vetting I would have to be thinkng outside the box so to speak, to ensure I wasn't disregarding someone purely by how they spoke.

[Angiew]

Oh dear!

Am I being tooooo fussy,  Angie? 

you can never be too fussy where a cat is concerned, though I do try and not be too judgemental until I've met them - though having said that I have passed a few on to another rescue after a 30sec phone call

[blackcat]

Yes, never get good grammar confused with an accent. People's accents tell you where they come from. It is their grammar that betrays their values sets...

[Christine (Blip)]

One thing you may be right about cc - I think accent affects how I view people. I'm more inclined to regard someone well-spoken as genuine. It's not a class issue, but one of attitude. I accept I'm probably wrong in this respect.

I would agree that I am suspicious of coarsely-spoken people, but I would urge caution at eliding this with accent.  You can be well-spoken with any sort of accent at all, I think.

This is not meant self-servingly, but when we were looking to adopt, no-one I spoke to at CP or the independent rescue took very long to say that they thought we would be suitable.  They must have been working on instinct, based on what would have been my obvious sincerity.  I hope you would call me well-spoken, mind. 

[Hippykitty]

Oh dear!

Am I being tooooo fussy,  Angie? 

[Angiew]

 

I think you and your cats are going to live long and happy lives together  

I've just had someone round to look at mine and gave him the third degree but I think he's passed - will be doing the HV tomorrow.

[blackcat]

some might call it class HK, but I personally view it as an indication of how seriously they take themselves. If they have bothered to learn to speak properly then they will probably be bothered to do other things properly - a gross generalisation I realise, but is does influence they way you perceive people ...

[Hippykitty]

You may be right cc, but I've just had 2 contrasting calls. One from a guy who openly admitted that they hadn't had cats before, but were bowing to pressure from their 18 year old daughter who was just off to uni. I asked lots of probing questions, including who would look after the cat while their daughter was away. They answered all my questions in a way which felt genuine. The guy on the phone was occasionally contradicted by his wife from another room - for example, when I commented "so you haven't had experience with cats before?" he said "no" but his wife piped up and said that they had looked after the neighbour's cats.  He wanted to know what the proceedure would be (see Angie below). I liked the fact that they wanted a family discussion before getting back to me. I also liked that they wanted two cats, I suggested the twins. Fingers crossed.

I then had a call from a couple who wanted a kitten. Everything was too perfect. They worked from home. He was an alarm engineer and did Elvis tributes (we travel....er.....work locally, at various clubs). BS radar started bleeping. I asked about their home, which of course they owned. I explained that I was asking because some landlords don't allow pets. They were very young and I thought, you may not have children now, but.....
So I asked if they had any experience with cats. The guy reeled off a list of typical cats names such as Tabitha, Milly....as though reading a shopping list. I was taking notes, so asked about the cats. Without emotion, he told me that Tabitha had been put to sleep from cancer. Most of us would have gone on about how wonderful Tabitha was and the things she did, but he stated it as though saying "I've just had a cup of tea".
I thought "I'm not letting you have my carefully nutured ferals!" and stressed the difficulty of feral cat ownership. The line went dead.
Okay, maybe I was heavy with them, but I smelled several rats.

Would be interested in what other peeps think.
One thing you may be right about cc - I think accent affects how I view people. I'm more inclined to regard someone well-spoken as genuine. It's not a class issue, but one of attitude. I accept I'm probably wrong in this respect.

[ccmacey]

I'm sorry but how are people supposed to say they are looking for a cat without saying them words precisely? I just feel some people are overlooked because they dint know how to present themselves.

HK at the end of the day your going to meet potential adopties and I think you will know from there, don't judge a book. 

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

ooooh fingers crossed your enquirers are genuine and you can get your special little babes into a forever home soon.  I'm a great believer in gut feeling ... a genuine person will be able to talk abut cats and you will know if they are right for your babies.

Good luck

[Hippykitty]

Thanks Angie, that is so helpful that I've copied it into notepad and will print it later today.

I had a really dodgy call from a 'bloke' about an hour ago. He wanted a longhaired cat 'for his mate'. I asked why longhaired, and was told: "cos me mate was very specific". I told him that I didn't have a longhair and asked him if he realised my cats are ex-feral.  (I didn't like the guy.) He said his goodbyes very quickly.

I'm now making notes of questions to ask, just in case I have more enquiries today. I'll try to get people chatting about previous cats, their home etc, so that I can get a good impression of the type of person they are.

I'm rather optimistically starting a folder with the cats' details and questions to ask prospective owners. I can also scribble notes when I'm talking on the phone.

[Angiew]

HK,

i do exactly th same as you - ask for more details by email.
I usually explain it helps to ensure they get the right cat for them so I ask for their address, if they work, if they've had cat before and who makes up the family. If the reply seems ok I would then usually invite them to come and visit the cats and give them my number to phone me to arrange a convenient time.
f they do that, I will assess them when they come, probably cover the details I already know about them to double check, see how they get on with cats in general (and v/v). I'm happy for them to be with me as long as they want so the kettles usually just boiled.
If at this point they are keen to go ahead, the home visit is arranged. If I am happy with them, I may take the cats at the same time (providing they are ready for them) or if I'm unsure I wll do the home visit alone and if I'm still not sure after that, make my excuses.
Always mention that you will want to do a follow up visit (whether you do so or not is up to how you feel) and ask them to keep in contact for at least a few weeks so that you know how they are settling down *this helps you with the seperation as well!).
I always point them at purrs as well and it is nice when someone becomes an active member and you get to hear about one of your charges on a regular basis.

[Desley (booktigger)]

Gut feeling and questions - I do prefer to ring after the initial e-mail, I find it easier to weigh them up from a call

[blackcat]

I'd be inclined to assume they were genuine but if I had a gut feeling would keep them talking. If you do that for a while, then if they are not genuine they will betray themselves with some comment or other. I would go back to them with a few more questions and suggest a home visit (which will require them to let you know where they live).

[Hippykitty]

My ex-ferals are now on both the Coventry cat site and Cat Chat! I've already had an email enquiring about them, but alarms rang when the emailer said they were looking for a cat, lived in a quiet cul de sac - all the things they might THINK I wanted to hear. But they gave no contact number, nor specifics like where they lived (area).

How do experienced rescue peeps know when an email is genuine? Is it just a gut feeling or do you treat all enquiries as though they were genuine? How do you know if it's spam etc?

I asked the above enquirer to send me more details, such as area and phone number. Was this the right thing to do?

This may seem basic stuff to some, but I've never done this before.