Author Topic: I miss Matilda  (Read 4228 times)

Online Desley (booktigger)

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Re: I miss Matilda
« Reply #10 on: December 25, 2007, 10:50:27 AM »
But, the joy of having them in our lives does outweigh the pain we go through. I was rather emotional last night, and told Molly she has to have years left in her, as I know her going will break my heart - but, she is 15, so I do have to be realistic.
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Offline berties mum

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Re: I miss Matilda
« Reply #9 on: December 24, 2007, 19:10:02 PM »
Me too Desley.  I know this might sound daft, but sometimes I think I would never have started having cats if I'd known losing one of them would feel this bad.  I already dread the day that something happens to Bertie, and he's only three ...

Online Desley (booktigger)

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Re: I miss Matilda
« Reply #8 on: December 24, 2007, 11:55:42 AM »
Your very welcome, I just wish we didn't know what it was like.
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Offline berties mum

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Re: I miss Matilda
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2007, 16:44:24 PM »
Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and support - I can't tell you how much it means to me.  Only one of my friends loves cats as much as I do, but luckily she's never lost a cat so I don't think she really understands.  It's just lovely to know I can always come here when I need support.  You're all wonderful  :hug: :hug: 

Offline lucy

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Re: I miss Matilda
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2007, 10:10:35 AM »
Of course you still miss her, but you did the best you could for her. Some cats are so determined to be out and about they are miserable if indoor only, others are fine with it. You did the best you could for her and thought of her happiness. I believe once the spirit is gone what happens to the body is irrelevant, graves and memorials are more to help those left behind than the one who has gone so Matilda won't worry a bit about how she is buried. Big  :hug:, hope you can remember the good times you shared with her rather than the end of your time together.

Online Desley (booktigger)

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Re: I miss Matilda
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2007, 19:13:13 PM »
Aww, I am sorry to hear you are having a bad time, but you didn't fail her - you made her happy by letting her out, and sometimes it is a hard price to pay, and despite her going so young, she knew love, and had an owner who put her feelings first, and not all cats are lucky to have that, but she was. Also, please dont feel guilty in what she was buried in, it really is irrelevant what we bury them in, they are no longer there, their soul is already up at hte bridge. RIP little one, and I hope you send a message down to your mum to show her you are safe and happy.
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Offline pappilon

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Re: I miss Matilda
« Reply #4 on: December 22, 2007, 08:56:58 AM »
Sending you a big :hug: Berties mum, so sad you lost Matilda when she was so young, but i am sure she knew how much you love her.

Ofcourse you miss her, its only naturall. :hug: :hug:

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: I miss Matilda
« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2007, 23:21:54 PM »
that broke my heart BM and I understand how you feel cos I have Kocka buried here and dont want to leave her behind.

You did everything you could for Tilly and sometimes fate plays a part and its not your fault.  :hug: :hug:

I think unseelie explained it so well but its my third Christmas without Kocka and  its not much easier than the first cos I miss her so much.

You know we are all hear for you and we understand just how you are feeling  :hug:

Offline unseeliechylde

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Re: I miss Matilda
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2007, 21:55:20 PM »
You didn't fail her - you were her meowmy, and you did everything you could for her. She will not mind what you buried her in, or that body has been left behind - she isn't there anymore. She went to the bridge when she died, and the best monument to her is that special place in your heart that is hers forever, and that she took with her the day she left. She knows how much you love her, and that is all that matters. You could not have known what would happen when you let her out, any more that she could. She is safe now, and she loves you still. Each and every day she sees how you have loved and cared for her brother, and that is the most wonderful thing you can do for her. She doesn't need to worry about him, because he has such a wonderful meowmy in you.
We all get thoughtful and melancholy at the turning of the year, but you need to know that she loves you as much as you do her, that she is watching over you and Bertie, and that there a beautiful tortie lady waiting for you both, ready to purr away your sadness, and lick your tears dry. You love for her is still there; she still believes in you, and trusts you to be a meowmy to her brother. She left when she did because it was her time to go, and so that you would both have someone waiting for you.
Try to remember that she trusts you to be there for Bertie - and that she would want you to both curl up and enjoy a winter cuddle on her behalf.
Lots of  :hug: :hug: :hug: to you both - time may make the pain easier to bear, but I know from experience that we never ever stop missing them.

Offline berties mum

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I miss Matilda
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2007, 21:21:41 PM »
For the last few weeks, I've been having a really bad time, thinking about Matilda a lot.  She was Bertie's sister - I had them from the same litter when they were six weeks old and they were my first cats since my childhood - and she was killed by a car in August 2005 when she was 11 months old.  On the day she died, she wanted to go outside to play but I wanted to keep her indoors because I was going shopping, and didn't want the cats outdoors while I was out of the house because I didn't have a cat flap.  I wouldn't open the door for her, but then she started being naughty and knocking books off shelves, so I decided to let her out for an hour just to keep her quiet - and 20 minutes later, I had a phone call from a lady who had found her body at the side of the road.  I don't know whether I'm thinking about this a lot because my parents' dog was put to sleep recently, but I'm suddenly feeling incredibly guilty for letting her outside when I could have stopped her dying by keeping her inside.  And I'm feeling bad about the fact that I let my dad bury her in the garden without putting her body in anything better than a bin liner - I was too upset to think of anything else, but now I wish I'd done more for her.  I've moved house since then so she's been left behind, although I brought her gravestone with me and put it in the flowerbed in my new garden so she could see the flowers.  But right now I feel so bad for letting her down and I wish I could know whether she forgives me.  I saw a beautiful tortoiseshell cat that looked just like Tilly, but with white feet, yesterday and it broke my heart because I never got to see her grow up.  Sorry for the whinge - no one else understands why I am so distraught still, even though she's been gone for more than two years.  I've got Bella and Minnie now and I wouldn't swap them for the world, but I would give anything to have my Tilly back too. She'd only be three years old if she was still here and it feels so wrong that she's gone.

 


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