My dear Col. Beau,
Re your recent 'waterfall' incident....were ya just trying to describe the 'Officers Mess' ?. If not, I'd go easy on the old post prandial drinky-poos if I were you, old chap. You don't wanna go confusing the bubbles in the ol' champers bottle with those in the washing up bowl ....not the same thing at all. A guy could easily lose his grip. And it looks like young Pickers has his eye on your crown already. Take my advice and nip any liberty taking from that young upstart in the bud right away .......dont lose a minute. You know how it is...ya give these youngsters a bit of straw and before ya can say 'Mines a double' they're making off with ya best winter blanky.
By the way, old chap have you ever thought about publishing your memoirs? Those diaries of yours should keep your toes warm and toasty when the time comes to retire. Give it some thought old chap.
Ah well, a small nightcap of cognac......and then off to bed.
Night night
Roz