It's time to say goodbye properly to these two cats who I adored and lost.
Ashlyn a lovely grey and white girl came to me via a coworker when I worked at a corner shop in the US, they had her and I'd mentioned wanting a cat I'd been wanting a pet and narrowed it down to a cat (we lived in a apartment at the time). After I took Ash home I discovered that she'd been a stray after over hearing my coworker. They had taken her in but didn't really provide for her and she wee'd everwhere.
Ashlyn was something of a she who must be obeyd and had attitude the size of Texas but I loved her even that time she bit me (she was protecting Little Girl cat who passed last February).
My husband at the time (I got married at 18 and it ended 5 years later horribly and violently), swore he was allergic to cats but I told him there was meds for that. He never showed signs of being allergic.
Mary came along with her brother Penguin (who's still with me today) I'd thought she was the shy one of the two and I was very wrong, I adopted them both from an adoption centre in Petsmart. Mary was so lovely, she'd lay on my black clothes every morning to get as much of her ginger fur on them as she could. She'd also lay in front of the door so I couldn't leave.
I found pictures of both tonight and the guilt ripped through me, I didn't stand up for these two when I should have.
My exhusband decided when we moved that I could only take 2 of my 4 cats, he swore Ashlyn and Mary both did not use the litter box and refused to bring them into the new house. And they were gone, I never found out what he did with them I can only hope someone took them in or they were taken to a non kill shelter. But I miss them every day and hate myself for not doing something sooner or having the nerve to.
I can make excuses but to be honest it was my own failing with these two lovely creatures, I wasn't able to stand up to my exhusband for another 3 years when he threatened my animals lives when I left him the first time (as a way to get me back). I then went back for 2 weeks and it was awful, I've never been so scared in my life. I managed to get out with my ferret and two cats and car full of clothes, I didn't even have any money or a mobile (he'd take it and cut our phone line off) I thank whoever for my grandfather showing up from a few thousand miles away and lending me that $40.
Of all the things I've lost over the years (two miscarriages included) it's the loss of these two cats that hurts the most, probably because I can't forgive myself for letting them down.
So I hope Ash and Mary found homes or at very least peace, because the home I gave them though well meant was not peaceful. From the day I left him for good I made it so that I will do anything for my pets or as I call them my children.
