Sleep through the night? Bedroom out of bounds?

[Mymblesdaughter]

My cats only wake me in the night they don't bother with my husband. He doesn't feed them and he ignores them during the night. So they really are only interested in me. Maybe get you boyfriend to ignore her and call her over to you. I find it very annoying sometimes but I wouldn't want to stop them as it's the only time I get to cuddle my boy cat.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

 MATILDA IS BEAUTIFUL AND I HAVE A CALICO TORTIE TOO 

I WILL NOT DISMISS SUES ADVICE BUT AFRAID AM MORE HARSH, SORRY.

MATILDA IN MY OPINION DESERVES EXACTLY WHAT SHE HAD BEFORE, SHE IS A CAT AND DOESNT UNDRSTAND WHY YOU HAVE SHUT HER OUT OR ANYONE NEW IN YOUR LIFE,,,,,,,,,,IN FACT SHE DOESNT CARE COS SHE CONSIDERS SHE HAS PRIDE OF PLACE ON YOUR BED WITH YOU AND IN YOUR HEART AND IS LIKEY TO BE VERY UPSET AND WORRIED.

JUST ONE OTHER THING, SORRY AGAIN BUT STRESS COULD BRING ON HER ILLNESS SO PLEASE BE GENTLE WITH HER FEELINGS.

[Judecat (Paula)]

My norty tortie washes me awake , if hands and arms don't work then she starts on eyelids, not pleasant, she doesn't brush her teeth before bed , but I think it's rather sweet and it shows how much she loves me.

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

     Oh you are gonna fit right in so well here - loads of photos?  That's what we LOVE!! 

And Matilda is B E A U T I F U L !!   Boy oh boy, isn't she just?!! 

[sairzey (Sarah)]

Hi Sue

Thank you for your thoughts, all of which I agree with. I don't blame Matilda for this type of behaviour at all and I love her to bits and just want her to be happy (like any pet-parent, I'm sure).

In answer to your question... do I have any pics of Matilda... I have 100s! I've attached one in my introduction, but had trouble with others as they're all too big. I'll try to attach another one here.

But my instagram feed is FULL of photos of Matilda! 

Thanks,
Sarah

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

Hi Sairzey.  Welcome to you and to Matilda   

Matilda sounds wonderful.  How lovely that you've a new man in your lives, and that he gets on well with Matilda too.

You could try keeping the door shut, but I doubt it will work long term, and she may simply end up damaging the door or the flooring  if she scratches. 

Also, looking at this from Matilda's point of view - she was there first, as you rightly point out, and has had access to her Mom, because she wanted your attention, and you've got that wonderful bond between you.

From her point of view, this is not a wicked or mischievous thing.  She's doing it because she wants affection, and for cats it's easier to get our attention at night, because we're lying down, we're less threatening, and we're unlikely to be shooting off somewhere.     

To keep her shut out, in many respects reinforces to her that you're shutting off a source of love and affection "just because" someone new has turned up in your life. 

And I know first hand how it can be to be woken at night when all you want to sleep.      In fact I reckon we all do.

Personally, I welcome it.  For me, it means my cats (who are indoor/outdoor) are alive and well (have lost too many in recent years) and that they're choosing to hang out with us to express the fact they love me and my OH.  Sometimes they want that reassurance that we're still there, and we still love them (two of ours were semi-feral).  That's okay.   I can live with that.  Each day is precious.   

But I know how precious sleep is too.     I get up each day at 5 a.m. for work, so I appreciate not everyone will welcome the interruption or find it quite so flattering as I do. 

My best advice would be for both you, and your OH, to ignore Matilda's night time approaches.  Don't acknowledge them in any way, except maybe to gently dislodge a paw from whatever orifice she's managed to smack you in, but without in any other way acknowledging it.   

Don't speak to her, don't sit up and make a fuss.  Maybe draw the duvet up a bit further round your head.  Encourage your OH to do the same.  When she realizes she's not going to get a reaction, she should give up.

Fingers crossed. 

Do you have any piccies of Matilda?   

[sairzey (Sarah)]

Hi there! I'm new here, so please bear with me as this may be a long post. But I would like some help on getting kitties to sleep through the night - or at least allow me to!

Matilda is a FIV+ rescue that I've had for 3 years now. I have a fairly small 2nd floor flat and she can't go outside. Since I've adopted Matilda, she has always had full-run of the whole flat and used to sleep mostly on my bed next to me. She has always tended to wake me up at various times of the night, with the odd paw in my face, meowing - I think for attention. I have just got used to this, or at least it doesn't bother me as much as it used to.

However, a few months ago I got myself a new boyfriend after over a decade of being mostly single. Steve spends a lot of time at my flat and is very good with Matilda, but has been grumbling about her waking us up several times a night. Now, I know - Matilda was here first, but I have to take Steve's needs into account, especially because he has the type of job where he needs to be well-rested.

So, we've recently tried shutting the bedroom door when we go to bed. Matilda has been meowing for ages and scratching at the door. Sometimes it's as soon as we close the door, then it's about 3am, then at about 6am! She yeowls so pitifully - it's heartbreaking. Anyway, it's only been about 5 days now and she has been meowing less, but I wonder if anyone has any advice?

I play with her every evening, without fail, with a teaser type toy and she loves it! I've recently bought Jackson Galaxy's 'Night Owl' remedy - from Purrs in our Hearts, of course and am trying that. And of course, I'm trying to give her lots of extra love and cuddles, especially in the morning when I get up for work and let her into the bedroom. She also has a cat bed and blanket in the living room, both of which she uses often.

HELP! Do I keep persisting with the door closed and hope she'll get used to it and stop meowing?