My cat is ignoring me!

[Mymblesdaughter]

KittyB, I love your cat names I always wanted to name my cats Tosca and Carmen. I didn't end up with two girl cats though. You never know maybe in the future.
 

[KittyB]

Your cat sounds a lot like my Tosca. I hardly ever to get a snuggle with my Tosca. Carmen is similiar but she'll get my attention when SHE wants it (or I get cat bum in my face). Rusalka on the other hand is a real snugglebug. Orpheus likes his cuddles but he tends to give them to Tosca more than me. I think all cats are different just like we humans are.

[thekittensmittens]

I think hes becoming a man now
I know Miyagi who is just under one cant be bothered with hugs or fuss now as he just wants to go out, i think its a bit like teenagers, they ignore then come back when they need feeding or feel sorry for themselves
I am hopefull it settles down when they get older and they go back to becoming sofa snuggle cats...till then i believe we are stuck with it

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

The others are so right and I dont have a cuddle cat any more now Napoleon is on the Bridge.

Misa loves strokes but seems to know he is too big to be a lap cat, Sasa well after nearly 7 yrs she has just let me stroke her 48 hrs ago.

 Lupin is only a cuddle cat when he wants something and Ducha, Naploeons brother cant get comfy on laps cos of his 3 legs but comes to lie on the sofa next to me but if he does not get immediate and prolonged attention then he leaves.............he is very very impatient..........sigh

Cats will be cats and I have to admit after Napoleon and his cuddles for 5 years, I really miss them.

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

Jules, am sorry that you're feeling such a sense of loss, and I understand why, but try not to worry.   

We have a 9 month old kitten.   Since he discovered he has his very own "key to the door" he loves to spend time outside exploring, and when he comes in, he spends a lot of time sleeping.   We get far fewer cuddles or playtime sessions than we did when he was very dependent on us for his playtime and stimulation, but that's natural.   It's what cats do, but when they're young, as Charlie is, he's beginning the second stage of his first year, and things are changing daily.  He wants to assert his independence, and he's learning all the time.  Like any teenager really, just as Mymblesdaughter says.    He's not really ignoring you - he's excited to see you, and he likes to share his muddy paws with you.  It's just there's so much other stuff going on too.   

Some cats aren't overtly affectionate, it's true.  Our beloved Paddy, who we lost in April last year, was never one to seek out your lap or to lie on the bed with you (unless he was cold  ) but I don't entertain any doubts about his capacity for love - we had 20 + years of learning just how much he loved us, and he was a right character.   Occasionally he would sit next to us, and we would be permitted to rest a hand on him, or gently stroke him, but he didn't allow liberties - not until he was in his last 5 years, with ailing health, when he needed more reassurance and attention.  Sometimes, if he was resting and he had a paw stretched out, if you touched the centre of his paw, he would grasp your finger and squeeze gently before letting go.  A loving handclasp.   

I know it's not the same as having a cat who is a real snugglebum, but give him time.  Right now, he's got a whole new world opened up, and in the evening, he's no doubt turning things over, assimilating all of his new territory and what goes on in it.  If you continue to pay him attention, give him a stroke, talk to him, he'll soak it all in, and you'll carry on being his bestest Mum in all der wurld.   

When "outside" stops being so important he'll know that you're there looking after him as always.    In other words, you'll be his devoted slave and he'll be your lil Charlie, only bigger and more growed up.   

Don't be disheartened.  Continue to initiate play sessions with Charlie, but don't push it if he isn't interested.   Maybe pause by him and give him a gentle stroke, see how he reacts.  keep it friendly, with a light touch if he gets

[jezebel]

Charlie's genuinely excited to see you in the mornings cos it's breakfast time (sorry!). 

One of mine is not particularly affectionate and spends most of her time in the bedroom. She will sit in the doorway of the living room, and even wander in sometimes but won''t stay for long. (That said, last weekend she jumped up on the sofa and sat between me and my OH for a whole hour, we were gobsmacked cos she's been with us for nearly a year and a half and it was the first time she'd done that  - probably the last too, knowing her!)

Cats are cats, don't take it personally. 

[Mymblesdaughter]

They can really be ungrateful  sometimes, can't they? My old cat used to ignore me all the time, she hardly ever wanted to be stroked. She totally trusted and loved us and would come running up the road when we got home from work. I would find her quite infuriating sometimes and get a bit upset with her.
I've got two new cats now that aren't a year old yet and they really love being cuddled and purr like crazy. I'm really loving it at the moment but I keep thinking this can't last forever and one of these days they are going to become teenagers and not want their Mummy kissing and cuddling them. They haven't been out yet and aren't going to go out till the spring.

Maybe he's going through his teenage stage and is asserting his independence and he'll like his mummy again when he gets a bit older.

[Bren22]

  But that's what cats do!!  I think it's why I like them so much, dogs are just too grateful for love, hugs and wet kisses but cats are independent and only bestow affection on their human slaves when it suits them.  Your cat is enjoying the freedom of outdoors and having cat adventures, so when it comes into the house all it wants to do is sleep comfortably in its own bed without being bothered by the human.  Except at meal times of course....

[Jules5645]

I have tried everything!! I can't move in my house for toys and he gets loads of treats.  The only way I can give him fuss in the evening is in desperation I will occasionally put his bed on my lap and he flops half out onto my chest and settles down for a nap.  He will then wake up about an hour later and its as though he realises his mistake and jumps straight off and back to the end of the sofa again!!

[Dawn F]

what about bribery? treats or play sessions?

[Jules5645]

Charlie is now six months old and has mostly been a very affectionate cat (when he isn't attacking me which he still does on occasion!)

He is allowed out now that I have the cat flap installed but only when I am in because he cannot figure it out unless I prop it open.  This is a real pain since I spent a fortune on a microchip one!!! 

The problem is that for the past month he has pretty much ignored me.  Occasionally during the day he will come in and jump all over me for ten mins with his muddy paws demanding attention then he is off again.  I can totally understand that there is an exciting new world out there for him to explore, but what I can't understand is the evenings.  When I settle down to watch tv for the night he either goes and sits in his bed in the kitchen and I don't see him at all, or he sits at the other end of the sofa with his back to me.

He clearly still cares about me because he is always there to greet me in the morning and when I get up and seems genuinely excited to see me.

I know it probably sounds pathetic but I feel an overwhelming loss in the evenings and just don't know what I am doing wrong or what has changed.  I have tried ignoring him completely unless he comes to me and I have tried bringing his bed into the lounge but nothing seems to work.

Can anybody help