How do you know when it is time ? PTS related

[caledonia]

Thanks everyone for your words of support. It really does mean a lot!

Been a bit of a teary day and been getting into my old photobucket account which is full of pics of the boys - hadn't even realised.

They were such handsome boys :-)

[souffle]

I am so sorry to hear of your losses.
Never doubt your decision because no decision made from love is ever wrong.
He gave you a sign and you helped you on his next path to the bridge when I'm sure Oscar was waiting to greet him.
Play well Edgar xx

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

So sorry to hear about Edgar 

RIP Edgar sweetie.  Have fun at the bridge.

[Yvonne]

So sorry to hear this RIP Edgar

[Tigerlily (Allison)]

Caledonia, in 2002 I lost my two boys within a very short space of time of each other so I know what you're going through 

[caledonia]

Thanks for all your kindness everyone.

It makes it easier. I think the shock of losing them both has finally hit, I didn't grieve properly for Oscar as I was so worried Edgar was also deterioating.

My boys are together now at least 

[Tiggy's Mum]

Just posted on his Rainbow Bridge thread. So sad but it sounds like it was his time 

RIP Edgar, safe and sound at the Bridge by now xx

The Greatest Gift

I always knew this time would come,
From the very instant our eyes first met.
How I loved you then! How I love you now!
I made a promise then, and I will keep that promise now...
You will not suffer from a pain that will not heal;
You will not know the loss of a life remembered, now gone.

It is for me alone to make this decision,
The price for the bright joy and pure laughter
You brought me during the time we shared.
I am the only one who can decide when it is time.
When my hope dies, and my fear rides high,
Just when I need you most, I must let you go.

It is for you alone to tell me when you are ready
For without your guidance, I will not know
When to lay my grief, my guilt, my anger
My sorrow and my selfish heart aside
And give you this last gift, this greatest gift.
Your eyes will speak to mine, and I will know.

The pain of this moment is excruciating.
Tears stream down my face in a river of sorrow.
And my heart drowns in a pool of grief.
For you have spoken and I have listened,
And unlike other decisions I have made
This one brings no relief...no comfort...no peace.

For if there´s one thing you´ve taught me,
If there´s only one thing I´ve learned...
Unconditional love has a condition after all,
I must be willing to let you go, when you speak to me
I must be willing to help you go, if you cannot go alone.
And I must accept my pain so you can be free of yours.

Go easily now, go quickly now,
Do not linger here, it is time for you to leave.
Go find your strength, go find your youth.
Go find the ones who've gone before you.
You are free to leave me now, free to let your spirit soar
Rest easy now, your pain will soon be gone.

I pray I will find comfort in my memories...
In the dark and lonely days ahead.
I cannot say I will not miss you, I cannot say I will not cry.
For only my tears can heal my broken heart.
But, I promise you this; as long as I live,
You will live, alive in my mind, forever in my heart.

So I give you this last gift, all I have left to give,
And this will be my greatest gift...sending you away.
It is the measure of my unconditional love...
For only the greatest love can say,
"Good-bye, go find the bridge, we'll meet again,
Loving you has been the greatest gift of all."

Forever and Always... Until Rainbow bridge....

[Dawn F]

  to you

[Tigerlily (Allison)]

Caledonia, you've had a really tough time with your kitties recently  I'm so sorry to hear that you have now lost Edgar.

RIP little man 

[bunglycat]

 

So sorry, I know exactly how you feel as in the same position myself right now.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

 

[caledonia]

Thanks everyone for your advice yesterday.

My baby boy was PTS today at lunchtime - I knew it was time when he just curled up on the Vet table and lay down.

Ill miss him so much 

[caledonia]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I will see what the Vet says tomorrow and ask her what she would do. He is using the litter tray to pee and drinking water but he hasnt touched food since this morning. he made a half hearted attempt to eat some at fiveish but really was just miming eating - he didnt take any in!

I will see tomorrow what happens. I knew in getting older cats this day would come but oh its never easy any time it happens. Fingers crossed he picks up a bit

Thanks again 

[jezebel]

It's never easy, no matter how many times we go through this.

And I realise this might not sound helpful but... you've known Edgar for a long time now and you will know when the time is right.

Sending lots of vibes to you and Edgar. 

[Tiggy's Mum]

So sorry to hear Edgar is so poorly, and about losing Oscar too   

It's such a personal thing that only you as Edgar's 'Mum' can decide but I agree with Dawn and the saying 'better a day too early than a minute too late'  In hindsight I probably left it slightly too long with Tiggy, I don't think she was suffering as such but her quality of life was not as it should have been and that was due to me loving her too much and not wanting to lose her 

I think asking your vet what they would do if he was their cat is a good idea  That said, I really hope things are more positive at the vets tomorrow and that you can have some more quality time together 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I am sorry and when it comes to this stage it is so hard 

I agree with the others but ulimately you have decide whether he has a quality of life and why is his stomach swelling.

If he is not using the litter tray and storing liquids this is very dangerous for him, especially if there is no reason.

Sending you lots of good wishes  and also to Edgar 

[caledonia]

The last time with Oscar I dealt with the husband Vet - who is a lovely old man who is way past retirement and said to me I was doing the right thing and was really lovely.

It is his wife who I am dealing with with Edgar and she is lovely - I guess I hadn't really thought to ask her that. When she mentioned it being a possibility on Monday I couldn't talk for crying.

I love all my cats the same ofcourse but Edgar is such a character, everyone who meets him loves him and even when he was getting the ultrasound he was sitting nosing about and making the nurses laugh. I guess sometimes you just wish they would pass away gently in their sleep but the vet explained that it rarely happens. T

Im just such an emotional wreck and I don't know what to do. I think you are right - I will ask the vet what she would do.

[Dawn F]

sorry to hear you are having a hard time, have you asked your vet what they would do if he was theirs?

its just my opinion but I think a little too soon is preferable to a little too late 

[caledonia]

 
Hello All,

It's been a while since I posted on here and I feel bad coming on with such a morbid subject but my poor man Edgar is not well and the vet has already explained it is up to me to decide when enough is enough - but when do you know?

It's not the first time I have had to deal with this issue but it doesn't make it any easier. My lovely Cat Bertie was in the emergency vets when he was PTS but they had explained he might not make it through the night and it was the kindest thing to do. So as hard as that was I accepted it was for the best.

However just 7 weeks ago my other old man Oscar was PTS and that was very very hard as it was an issue of quality of life. My vet felt his quality of life was so poor, he was blind and deaf and soiling everywhere and although he didn't appear to be in pain he was withdrawn and had no interaction with me or the other cats. I have felt guilty about this ever since - it was the hardest thin in the world. 

So now Edgar is not great, he hasn't been great for a while. I re-homed him (and his buddy Oscar) through the UKRCC when they were 11 back in February 2008. At the time Edgar had a benign nasal tumour which he has lived with fine for three years. However for the last six months it has came to life and had growth spurts and his nose scabbed up and the very tip of his nose actually fell off. This really freaked me out and I rushed him to the emergency vets but both my vet and the out of hours vets assured me he would be ok provided it remained infection free.

We did ok for two months but it has been infected for a couple of weeks, and anti-biotics are not moving it. His weight has dropped, bloods etc are showing no issues and all organs functioning fine. He has been moved from Metacam to Steroids to see if it would help but if anything I think its getting a little bigger

So I took him on Monday and they agreed the infection scab was getting better, certainly not worse but he now had a full bladder and seemed to be storing fluids. They gave him an ultrasound and found no issues and gave me diaratics (excuse the spelling - I know thats wrong). Well today his belly seems a little bit more swollen. He is passing urine fine though and faeces - all be it they are quite hard and dark.

However tonight he is not eating and just doesnt seem himself. The vet said to me Monday I need to think about how long I want to continue to treatment but in the same breathe said Oh he is not in pain and is such an interactive cat. So what do I do?

I have to take him tomorrow at lunch time if his swollen belly is no better and I know the issue of him being PTS will be brought up again and I genuinley don't know what to do. I would find it so much easier if they could day, yes he is in pain, yes he has a limited time and yes you need to PTS. However they aren't saying that and I do not know what to do!!! What if his nose gets better, what if these Dieretics work!

Oh I just feel like this is an impossibile situation and the fact it is on the back of Oscar makes it so much harder! He is still very interactive, he has came to sit at my feet just now as I type this. I am really unsure what to do!

So any thoughts or suggestions or knowledge about any of these issues would be gratefully accepted. I appreciated it is a hard task - maybe I just wanted to try and air my emotions a little bit too!