completely agree with everything Miroslav. There are more important issues for people than breaking nails, pulling or drinking etc.
And yes, there may always be somebody worse off than you, but like you say, that's belittling and dismissive. Or "give it time" or "think about the people who need you now" and all that... making you feel selfish as well as weird and insignificant.
I get called selfish a lot, by people who simply don't understand my stuff. and I'm apparently an "attention seeker" as well as manipulative. Whats worse, its the people who are paid to care who say those things. which really doesn't help when you feel bad already.
In 2006 at the end of my first year studying degree in childrens nursing, everything got on top of me. I'd seen kids dying, I'd watched people slow fade away, I'd seen the aftermath of death and seen the families torn by grief. I'd washed dead bodies and prepared them for mortuary. I'd handled kids who lots their mums or dads. Enough of it, it got too much and at the time I truly believed I wanted to die... life was too cruel and I didn't want to be part of it and didn't feel strong enough. And at the time there was no other way out, I thought. So I attemped suicide. That was the most selfish thing i could have done, even though in my mind it was selfless. What good was I going to be to anyone when I was so weak and pathetic? What burden would I become on those who loved me? People didn't deserve to have to put up with me... they truly were better off without me. Or so I thought.
Now I am further away from that state of mind than I ever imagined. I'm lucky that my attempt(s) didn't go as I'd planned. I'm lucky my family were supportive. But over the past few years when I've felt so bad it's the nurses on psychi wards who tell you you're selfish, you're just after attention, you're being manipulative. I'm sorry, are you trying to push me over the edge?? It may appear on the outisde i was being selfish, but I didn't sit there and think "oh what can I do today to think of myself? to manipulate people or to get some attention??" if I wanted attention I'd run around town naked and get some laughs, not try and cause serious damage to myself and risk death.
If this is the kind of world we are living in then what hope is there for others who find they face difficulties like we have? People have their own fixed perspective and that's it, theres no other way of thinking about things. What they think is right, and there is nothing that will change their views.
People don't look at others and see that their behaviour may be the result of previous traumatic events. All they see are other people being weird, strange and not "normal". If fella's don't wanna go out, get drunk and pull they aint normal. If women don't wanna go out, flirt, constantly talk about romance or follow celebs they aint normal. It seems for most, thinking outside of those norms is impossible.
But you know what, it's took me ages to get where I am and I'm now proud to admit that I am NOT normal if normal is determined by the above. I'm unique, I'm just me and I do, think and see whatever I do, I don't base things around any norms!
Philosophicalities over