This auction item is THE HOLE.
Yes, you did read that right, it's a hole. Not any old hole though, oh no - this is a Very Historic Hole! It's the hole that myself and my various feline housemates over the years have made into the carpet on the bottom stair at Cat Chat Towers - as illustrated by Yogi cat.
History of The Hole:
The Hole has been 15 years in the making, scratched with care and precision by (in order of appearance): (1) Me, Gemini Cat, (2) George Cat, (3) Colonel Beau Cat (Sir), (4) Pickford the Brave, (5) Tangle Cat, and (6) Yogi Cat.
Future of The Hole:
The Purrs auction is our ONLY HOPE for the future of The Hole! Unbelievably, after all the effort we put in making it, next week the folks are getting a new stair carpet! This means The Hole may be lost forever, if some kind person doesn't rescue it!
The Auction Lot:
The Hole comes complete with a decent sized section of old carpet surrounding it (bit obvious that, otherwise you wouldn't be able to tell which bit was the hole would you?). It also comes with a certificate of authenticity. And for good measure, there will also be a 'nice thing' included for the winning bidder. (Well, we figured whoever was mad enough to bid on a hole, deserves a Nice Thing too.)
PLEASE BID on THE HOLE or this piece of HISTORY will be LOST FOREVER…!
Starting bid 99p plus £1.00 postage.
(P.S. The folks have insisted that Yogi isn't included in the auction, although I feel they missed a trick there).