Topic: Help! Introducing new cat (or, rather, old) (Read 6693 times)

alenax · « **Reply #46 on:** March 27, 2010, 14:10:28 PM »

Just wanted to say, hi mum!!! :D

irina77 · « **Reply #45 on:** March 27, 2010, 02:27:46 AM »

They are shut in in turns and no? I didn't notice that they shiff each other - yet. But will practice it more from now on.
A litlle bit of a set back tonight - Tabi was reluctant to go dowstairs and fllowed me upstairs as soon as I went there. Oh well, only to be expected, can't be normall straight away, takes time, I suppose.

And thank you, Shirley - your and others own experience is what I need. Boooks and websites are all very well, but what really happened to other people and cats is much more helpfull.

Shirley · « **Reply #44 on:** March 26, 2010, 14:49:41 PM »

I used to keep the door wedged open all the time (except when i was out and at bedtime) Do they sniff each other by the door? Which one is shut in? My newcomer was the one shut in, but allowed out when the oldie (Chuch) was outside. I think you should probably wedge the door for a few more days and see how they react to each other by the door. If there's no hissing or growling, then let them meet-be prepared to dive in if things get aggresive tho! I'm no expert by the way, this is just my own personal experience! Good luck!

irina77 · « **Reply #43 on:** March 26, 2010, 14:31:36 PM »

We brought Fred about a month ago and they had this horrible fight the first day. We kept them separate for a week and then another fight errupted by accident (Fred managed to open the bedroom door). Since then they didn't meet face-to-face, though I tried to wedge the door couple of times and, obviously, they can smell each other's when they are out. My plan is to wedg e the door nore often and then... what? Don't know yet.

What do you think?

Oh, thank you again so much for your help, advise and support!

Shirley · « **Reply #42 on:** March 26, 2010, 13:19:56 PM »

That's brilliant news, Irina!!!!

So pleased for you and Tabi!

Hope it won't be too long before they can meet again-how long have you kept them seperate this time??

suecav · « **Reply #41 on:** March 26, 2010, 13:06:47 PM »

FANTASTIC NEWS IRINA!!!

I'm so pleased for you. It's such a relief when you can actually see the change taking place isn't it?

Long may it continue

irina77 · « **Reply #40 on:** March 26, 2010, 12:45:50 PM »

Girls, it's working!!! A miracle!!!!
For two days now Tabi behaves like her old self! She doesn't hide in my bedroom all the time any more, she goes downstairs on her own and she runs around chasing bits of paper (ignoring all the toys as they do) and she is all over me again demanding love and attention - normally when I am sitting at the computer...
I am so happy! I was seriously worried that Fred's appearance had a permanent bad effect on her. But she recovered!

Thank you so, so much!
I will carry on with remedies, of course.
I wonder, if they had an effect on Fred, though, so that I can attempt to re-introduce them again...

suecav · « **Reply #39 on:** March 24, 2010, 09:33:39 AM »

Quote from: irina77 on March 24, 2010, 02:19:25 AM

Sue, my case is very similar to yours. Fred is a good cat, but he is having a go at Tabi because she is scared of him. And, like you, I think that if she could stand for herself, he would stop chasing her. And, like you, I want Tabi's life to be normal again, so that she would stop hiding in the bedroom and lived freely.
So, you think I should concentrate on Tabi more? I rub Fred with Vine hoping to reduce his aggressiveness and Tabi 0 with Mimulus to boost her confidence. Can you suggest better remedies, perhaps? And good luck with Paopo!

Hi Irina,
I would recommend Centaury and Larch as well as the Mimulus for Tabi. You can combine up to 5 remedies (I think...maybe 6) so I would put a drop of each in my hand and smooth the combination of remedies onto Tabi's head. I would keep going with the Vine for Fred too.
Another thing you could try is Zylkene. They are capsules that you break open and sprinkle on food. I think Tabi could benefit from a course of these as well. They are completely natural but I have seem some impressive results with these too. Cheaper online than at the vets.
Have you got your Feliway yet? Some cats respond to that very well. Mine didn't but I know a lot of cats that have.

Shirley · « **Reply #38 on:** March 24, 2010, 05:53:03 AM »

Crikey, don't you ever sleep, lol?? Charlie used to hide under the bed as well when i had the door wedged-but not all the time. They would both sniff each other through the gap and, eventually, it did the trick! For all you know, they may be doing the same-you don't stand by the door all day, do you?

I live in a bungalow, so it was easy for me to keep having a peek at what was going on!

irina77 · « **Reply #37 on:** March 24, 2010, 02:19:25 AM »

Sue, my case is very similar to yours. Fred is a good cat, but he is having a go at Tabi because she is scared of him. And, like you, I think that if she could stand for herself, he would stop chasing her. And, like you, I want Tabi's life to be normal again, so that she would stop hiding in the bedroom and lived freely.
So, you think I should concentrate on Tabi more? I rub Fred with Vine hoping to reduce his aggressiveness and Tabi 0 with Mimulus to boost her confidence. Can you suggest better remedies, perhaps? And good luck with Paopo!

Shirley, I tried the wedged door, Fred sits outside sniffing but Tabi hides under the bed... I will continue though.

Sixfurballs, thank you for your wonderful post. It is very interesting. I tried to put Fred (the new one) to the cat carrier and get Tabi (the first one in the house) to sniff around but as soon as she realised that he was there she ran away ahd hid... Fred hated being there and narly broke the carrier. Tabi tends to just lay around in the bedroom even when the door is open. Shall I carry her downstairs, do you think? She used to be ok with it, it breaks my heart to see these changes!

Fred is much braver and more outgoing, he likes to explore and already goes outside every day now. He loves it!

I had a dream last night that I brought another 4 cats home and nearly died in my sleep from horror that I would have to introduce them all to each other!

sixfurballs · « **Reply #36 on:** March 23, 2010, 16:39:23 PM »

I have 6 cats and they have come to me 1 or 2 at a time so had plenty of intros to do. I adopted an old girl at the weekend so starting intros myself.

I set the new cat up in a 'safe' room but I'll let the new cat explore the house whilst the others are out. If the new cat seems confident then I set up a dog crate with a litter tray, bed, food and water and for a little while each evening I'll put the new cat into it and let the other cats come in and see her in the crate. It gives them an opportunity to get used to each other without allowing them to actually get at each other. What tends to happen is that the residents will get braver and braver about getting closer to the crate until eventually they are right up beside it. When they seem disinterested in the crate and it's inhabitant then I'll leave the door open to the cage so they can meet in person. It's worked very successfully for me in the past and must stress always limit the time newbie is in the cage so not spending hours after hours in it.

When I say dog crate/cage I mean one of these:
http://www.justlovedogs.co.uk/jld/mib/d/24+economy+dog+cage+black+lightweight+dog+crate+with+2+doors/pid/7776653

I do use feliway as well.

suecav · « **Reply #35 on:** March 23, 2010, 09:26:45 AM »

Irina ~
Murph used to terrorise Paolo because he knew Paolo was scared of him. It was as if he just couldn't help himself from pouncing on him as Paolo tried to slink past with plenty of warning growls and hisses. Murphy is a typical naughty boisterous kitten (although no longer technically a kitten) and Paolo is/was an old man before his time.
The main difference I noticed was Paolo's increased confidence and willingness to stand up to Murphy and actually instigate the chase/play.
Once the cycle of Paolo's OTT defensiveness was broken the dynamic between the two changed dramatically.
I can actually leave them alone in the same space now if I nip out for something. I wouldn't even have considered that before.
They wash each other and play together (still ends in a scrap sometimes and fur does fly but it's more equal now).
My main aim in trying the remedies was to improve Paolo's quality of life which I feel I have achieved.
He's no longer living in fear of the next ambush by Murphy and is a far happier and less stresses boy...plus he's rediscovered his playful side.

Good luck with your two. Just take it nice and slowly with the reintroductions and if in doubt go back a step. Don't rush it.

Shirley · « **Reply #34 on:** March 23, 2010, 09:18:39 AM »

Have you tried 'the wedged open door' yet? If not, i suggest you do that, so they can see as well as smell each other!

I haven't used any of the remedies so you'll have to wait for Sue to come on for that. Have you noticed any difference in Tabi, i.e not being quite so nervous?

I'm off to borrow the carrier soon-hopefully to get Charlie to the vets tonight-should be fun, as i've only picked him up twice in his life!

It's good they use the tray tho-from what i've learned on here and CC, you can tell if they've got cystitis by how many times they wee-which needs immediate treatment in a male cat-but you can't know that when they do it outside! My Chuch has never uses a tray....................

irina77 · « **Reply #33 on:** March 23, 2010, 09:07:17 AM »

Thank you, ladies, for your support!

Could you tell me, what changes did you notice in the "bully" cat when using the remedies? I wonder when do I know that it is ok to try to introduce them again... Oh, dear! I am dreading it. Tabi is so nervous that I think she will run away and hide at one glimpse of him! Fred is very interested, though. He often sits on the landing near the closed bedroom door, where Tabi is. Is it a good sign or he is up to no good?

Shirley, Fred is using his litter tray as well! Silly cat! I said to him: "This is the whole point of you going outside - to do your business in the (someone else's) garden!" He looked at me and had a poo in the tray...

suecav · « **Reply #32 on:** March 22, 2010, 10:11:21 AM »

Hi Irina,

You should find the flower remedies start working almost straightaway.
I could see a difference within the first 2 days of using them.

Here's a link to the site I use to check which remedies would be most beneficial for which situation.

http://www.critterchat.net/bach.htm

Good luck and keep us updated please

Shirley · « **Reply #31 on:** March 22, 2010, 09:31:51 AM »

Sounds encouraging, Irina! Hopefully the remedies will soon kick in and you'll have two happy cats!

Glad Fred enjoyed his time outside! My Charlie did the same-no matter how long he was out, he'd still come in and use his tray!! (This is a cat who'd lived all his life outside!!)

Now he hardly uses it at all so i worry i won't know if there's anything wrong with him! He can't win!

I'm hoping to borrow a carrier tomorrow and get him registered with my vet-should be fun

irina77 · « **Reply #30 on:** March 21, 2010, 23:54:29 PM »

Hi, Shirley

I let Fred outside twice and he loved it! Still comes back to use his litter box, silly billy!

I plugged in the Feliway on in my bedroom where Tabi mainly resides and yesterday I received Mimulus and Vine at last, so started using it today. Too early to tell, I realise that. But I do so hope it will work!
I still let them out in turns and Tabi doesn't look so petrified any more when she goes downstairs. She doesn't come downstairs very often, but then she always liked to "live" in my bedroom, even before Fred appeared. Like you said, she feels safe there so I don't force her to come downstairs, just leave the bedroom door open and let her get on with it. I try to be patient and do things slowly, though I really want them just to get along - NOT FIGHT! - that's all I am asking for...

Thank you for asking, Shirley, I will keep you updated.

Shirley · « **Reply #29 on:** March 21, 2010, 08:23:08 AM »

How's it going, Irina?

suecav · « **Reply #28 on:** March 15, 2010, 14:00:13 PM »

Yes I absolutely do think it's possible

Tabi is hissing and growling out of fear...not aggression. Make sure she has plenty of safe areas where she can get away from Fred.
Your bedroom is fine if that is what she is using as her safe room.
Does it end in a fight every time they come into contact with each other?
If so I would keep them apart completely for a week or so and do the slow introductions with scent swapping all over again.
Start them on the bachs when it arrives and then take things very slowly.

irina77 · « **Reply #27 on:** March 15, 2010, 13:49:06 PM »

It is the shy Tabi who hissed and growled - only the first time, though, she didn't have a chance afterwards! First time Fred was walking around her and sniffing and then dashed onto her and they fought. Second time I didn't see the beginning of it, but they fought violently, with bits of fur and all. Now Tabi is so scared of him, I think, that she doesn't want to come downstairs really and spends her time mainly in my bedroom.
So, I hope with the help of these remedies to boost her confidence and make her a bit "braver" and to tame Fred the Bully. Do you think it's possible?

suecav · « **Reply #26 on:** March 15, 2010, 12:42:44 PM »

I stroke their heads and ears with the remedy in my palm 2 or 3 times a day.
I haven't used any remedy or Zylkene for a few days now and they are still getting on ok.
One of the most noticeable benefits is that Paolo no longer growls and hisses every time he senses Murphy's presence.
In fact he's more likely to go up to him and sniff him all over and then wash his ears

irina77 · « **Reply #25 on:** March 15, 2010, 12:29:01 PM »

Thank you, ladies, for your advise! I've ordered the whole lot - Feliway, mimulus and vine. Will report later how it goes!

Suecav, you said that you stroke your cats with the remedies on your palm - how often do you do it? Twice a day? Five times a day? More?

Fred ventured outside for the first time today, ran to the next dorr's garden and went back in. But I think he liked it. He will be the outdoor cat, I am sure.

Shirley · « **Reply #24 on:** March 14, 2010, 14:40:05 PM »

Sorry Irina-got it wrong about putting it in the water! oops!

suecav · « **Reply #23 on:** March 14, 2010, 13:50:37 PM »

Hello Irina

I don't get on here very much but Shirley pointed me in the direction of your thread.

I'm the one from CatChat who has been using the Bach's Flower Remedies and I have to say I think they are wonderful.
I don't put it in their water or food as they won't eat/drink anything with it on. I put a couple of drops in the palm of my hand and stroke their heads/ears with it.

I use Larch on Paolo to boost his confience and Vine on Murphy for his bullying/dominance. Mimulus, Centaury and Rock Rose would be beneficial for your girl as well I think.

I also started off using Zylkene as well. This is a completely natural stressbuster that I find really works. Feliway did nothing for my cats.

The whole dynamic between my boys has changed now. Paolo will stick up for himself more and actually instigate chase/play although it does still end in a bit of fur flying it's 100x better than it was.

If you'd like to read my thread on CC here is a link...

http://www.catchat.org/forum/discus/show.cgi?18/200215

Good luck hun. I know what a nightmare it can be...not helped by not having a fully supportive and understanding hubby

irina77 · « **Reply #22 on:** March 14, 2010, 12:39:25 PM »

Thanks, Shirley, I will definitely order the Feliway and will look the other one up. Ant then pray that it would help!

Tabi didn't go out before Fred appered, she is a very shy and nervous cat. She had been stray before the RSPCA took it, so we think that, may be, she had had some bad experience and that's why she doesn't want to go out at all. She look petrified, if anything. She is quite happy in the bedroom, it's just me - I feel that it is unfair that she can't wander around when she feels like it...
Fred is the opposite - he hates being locked upstairs. I think because he is too far away from his food bowl! He is eager to go outside, but we are waiting for 4 weeks as we only took him 23.02.
My family accused me of favouritism of Tabi and that I don't like Fred. I do! I just feel so sorry for the girl, because it is her who is being bullied! My husband really upset me today, he said that if I am so worried about the situation, I should take Fred back. It is not an option!!! I just want to solve this problem and his attitude doesn't help at all. He also said that it is not a life with the bedroom doors closed and constant fear that the cats could be out at the same time ...

Shirley · « **Reply #21 on:** March 14, 2010, 08:52:54 AM »

I've been exactly where you are now, never thinking my Chuch would accept Charlie, but he did! The Feliway is supposed to chill them out and it worked almost straightaway for Chuch-before,he'd only have to see a cat in the garden and he'd chase it off! Now he'd got one in his home! OK, he wasn't happy, but the aggression i expected wasn't there. He'd still growl and hiss at Charlie (through the wedged open door) but he was a different cat really! I don't think that without the Feliway that things would've gone so well. I haven't heard of one bad report on CC about it. Regarding the Bach's (she's on CC if you want to read her story-Paolo's been hit by a car AGAIN) Paolo was being bullied by her other cat after his accident so she tried Larch on Paolo to give him more confidence and ahe's amazed at the results! She also gives something to Murph (can't remember which one at the mo, will have to look at CC) and he's much better as well. She puts it in the water.

If Tabi seems happy in the bedroom, i wouldn't worry too much about her-had she used to go outside before Fred came on the scene? I'm no expert, just going on my own experience, but i would shut her in for a while and let him have a wander around the house and vice versa. I'm sure you'll get there in the end!

irina77 · « **Reply #20 on:** March 14, 2010, 07:54:53 AM »

Thank you, Shirley, so much for supporting me! I looked up both the Feliway diffuser and Bachs flower remedy and I am willing to give it a go! Well, I am desperate! Did you use the diffuser with your ats? How did it help? What did it do? Which one of them does your friend use? There are so many of them on the Bachs web site. Does she put it in the water?
So many questions...
Sorry!
Tabi doesn't want to go downstairs at all now, she just stays in the bedroom. Although she seems quite happe there, I feel enormously guilty. Freddy hates being locked in the othe bedroom and tryes to escape every time. I still will probably keepn him there for longer and try to "re-introduce" Tabi back to the rest of the house.
God help me!

Shirley · « **Reply #19 on:** March 13, 2010, 22:58:06 PM »

Hi Irina, you know i've been looking for this thread for a few days and couldn't find it-i thought you'd deleted it!

Sorry things aren't any better for you. Have you tried a Feliway diffuser? They're expensive but i think it worked wonders with my Chuch. Also, Bachs flower remedy. A friend on Cat Chat has been using it on her two and is really pleased with the results. Hope everything calms down soon for you!

irina77 · « **Reply #18 on:** March 13, 2010, 22:08:38 PM »

Hello, decided to update you on what's happening here... Not a lot, really, but today I put Freddy-the-Bully into the cat carrier (which he almost broke apart trying to get out!) and let Tabi out of the bedroom and fed her in the kitchen. She ate her food, wondered into the living room, suddenly spotted the Monster in the cage, immediately panicked and ran upstairs and hid under the bed!!!
So, that didn't work.
She is just so petrified of him that I don't think she can tolerate the idea of being in the same room as him.
Shall I keep trying?

Shirley · « **Reply #17 on:** March 09, 2010, 13:37:06 PM »

YES IT WILL AND SOONER THAN YOU THINK!!!! I never imagined it would be so good with mine cos Chuchy was a proper mommy's boy and would chase off any other cats in the garden. That was one of the 2 reasons i was against having Charlie (lack of cash being the other!) but, in the end, i didn't really have i choice. I was nagged by everyone on here, Catchat and the sanctuary manager

They have the odd swipe at each other (usually Chuch starting it) but nothing serious and yes, i look back now and wonder why i was so worried!

irina77 · « **Reply #16 on:** March 09, 2010, 12:36:13 PM »

Thank you, Dawn for your encouragement! It really helps to know that it's not only me who is going through this horrible process!
Will this time of lookiing back etc. you are talking about ever come?!
I just long for peace!

Leanne · « **Reply #15 on:** March 09, 2010, 11:23:03 AM »

Good luck with it all.

We were very lucky when we introduced Milo, he escaped out the bedroom door (Jess was sat outside and wouldn't move, he knew there was a cat in there) and we had some hissing and squaring up but all in all they were fine.

Dawn F · « **Reply #14 on:** March 09, 2010, 11:17:54 AM »

it is hard, I remember going through it myself but is worth the effort and one day you will look back and wonder why you were worried!

irina77 · « **Reply #13 on:** March 09, 2010, 11:16:13 AM »

Hi, Shirley, thank you for asking, it's very supportive when you know that someone is interested.
They are spending time shut upstairs in turns for now, and I let each one out for a while. Fred is very reluctant to be shut in the bedroom as he likes to be downstairs and beg for food at every opportunity (he doesn't understand the word "enough"!

)
It seems that each other's smells don't bother them that much any more, they don't sniff at the corners suspicously as they used to do. Fred sometimes sits right near the door where Tabi is and sniffs under it. He is the bully though! It is he who starts the fight. Tabi might hiss at him but she never makes a move.
So, I am preparing myself to do the "door ajar" trick - will let you know how it goes.

Shirley · « **Reply #12 on:** March 09, 2010, 07:56:10 AM »

How's it going Irina?

Shirley · « **Reply #11 on:** March 08, 2010, 07:40:20 AM »

OMG Irina, how awful for you (and Tabi!) I forgot to say my Chuch is 9/10 years old so i thnk i've been very lucky! Charlie, the newcomer, was the one shut in the spare bedroom,with litter tray, food etc, which i thought would be a nightmare after the life he was used to, but he was great from day 1-i expect that was due to knowing him from when he was a kitten! I'd go in every so often and fuss him-he wasn't interested in toys! After he's been here a week or so (?) i started wedging the bedroom door open with some cardboard so they could see each other but not get at each other! When Chuch went outside, i'd let Charlie have the run of the house (well, bungalow) so his smell was everywhere The day i decided to let them meet, i got my friend to come round to help (she'd got a feisty cat so was used to aggro, whereas Chuch was my first cat) She stood there armed with a brush and oven gloves, but Charlie hid under the bed and Chuch stayed in the hall! In the end, i had to do it alone the next day and i was terrified! It went really well tho-i think he'd been here about 4 weeks then (would have to check back on my 'diary' to be sure, tho')
I think you're gonna have to start from scratch, as if Fred has only just arrived, and shut him in a room, with her having the run of the house, then gradually, let them see each other through the wedged open door. I also had a Feliway diffuser which someone on CC very kindly sent me-that seemed to work wonders on calming Chuch.
Good luck again-i would hate to see them fighting, it must be so upsetting!

irina77 · « **Reply #10 on:** March 08, 2010, 04:13:31 AM »

Thank you, Shirley, for your kind words, but today a major drawback happened! Fred was shut in the bedroom and Taby was downstairs, but the bedroom door wasn't shut properly and DISASTER happened again!!! He gort out and there was a horrible FIGHT!!! With fur everywhere and all that ...

It was so horrible! My husband had to drag him sway virtually by his tail! I was sooo upset. He just can't leave her alone! But Taby recovered much quicker this time and the rest of the day she spent downstairs, she ate well and played and wasn't as shocked as before... Well, I was!

I just don't know what to do! I wasnt him to stop pestering her!!!
I am in despair!!!

Shirley · « **Reply #9 on:** March 07, 2010, 11:00:26 AM »

I had the same problem with my 2, Irina. My existing cat, Chuchy, was very laid back and a total mommy's boy so i was very worried about introducing an almost 7 year old into the home. The first few weeks weren't very pleasant with Chuch hating the newcomer (and me!) but, for nearly 3 months now (i've had Charlie-the newcomer and semi feral for 4 months) they sleep on the same bed and chase each other around. Chuch still has the odd swipe at Charlie, who is still pretty nervous, but loves being here with us! His story is on this site: 'GB's (or Charlie's) new home with me' if you fancy a (very long!) read! Don't know how to produce a link, sorry!

I had some great advice from here and Catchat which helped a lot! Good luck

irina77 · « **Reply #8 on:** March 07, 2010, 05:35:50 AM »

Yesterday put Fred (the new cat) into the bedroom where Taby normally resides. He sniffed at absolutely everything there and spent the rest of the time under the bed! We have guests over the weekend but on Monday, when it is all quiet I will try the "door ajar" technique.

irina77 · « **Reply #7 on:** March 05, 2010, 03:08:22 AM »

Helen, thank you for the leads - they are very helpful and I got some new ideas!

Author Topic: Help! Introducing new cat (or, rather, old) (Read 6693 times)