Topic: How long......? (Read 5237 times)

Topsy Turvey · « **Reply #32 on:** June 07, 2009, 10:53:14 AM »

Georgous cats. They look so happy with you. Well done for taking them on

Kirst · « **Reply #31 on:** June 07, 2009, 10:34:51 AM »

They are Beautiful - and Sugar is a dead ringer for my bridge babe Oscar!

Daisymac · « **Reply #30 on:** June 07, 2009, 09:59:42 AM »

What a lovely pair, they are really stunning, I am so glad you have found happiness with them and they are now in a lovely forever home

bonnielass · « **Reply #29 on:** June 07, 2009, 09:39:30 AM »

What a beautiful pair,im so glad you decided to give them a forever home, im sure they will reward you with lots of cuddles and kisses

Desley (booktigger) · « **Reply #28 on:** June 07, 2009, 09:33:19 AM »

They are lovely and good on you for adopting older cats.

maryas · « **Reply #27 on:** June 06, 2009, 14:53:46 PM »

OMG they are adorable

and wait until Gill sees the pics - she will think you've catnapped Franta.

Mary

Tiggy's Mum · « **Reply #26 on:** June 06, 2009, 14:29:49 PM »

Gorgeous cats

They look very happy in their new home, I'm glad you gave yourself the chance to love again too

Debsymiller (Rufus' mum) · « **Reply #25 on:** June 06, 2009, 12:55:13 PM »

I'm so happy that you decided to go ahead. They look so happy and are absolutely gorgeous.

CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls · « **Reply #24 on:** June 06, 2009, 12:41:56 PM »

Gorgeous kittys

I have an 11yo myself and he plays like a kitten, so expect some mischief from them

They look like they are setteling in really well

harlequin · « **Reply #23 on:** June 06, 2009, 11:38:18 AM »

Well Sugar and Spice have been with us a good few weeks now and have settled in beautifully. They act as though they own the place, bless 'em! Sugar has developed quite an attachment to Adam (my partner), whereas Spice finds me much more interesting. He follows me around the house even going so far as to sit on the closed toilet seat and watch me in the bath! Although they are housecats, they enjoy sitting on the lawn with me on a nice day, so at least they are getting a little taste of the outdoors even if it is only in short supervised periods. They're wonderful cats and so loving. They'll never replace my darling Luna, but they have taught me to love again and to appreciate feline company. They are both 11 years old so are getting on a bit, but they are every bit as affectionate and playful as a cat half their age. I want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who posted on this topic because, without your advice and support, we may well have passed up the opportunity to adopt Sugar and Spice because of the grief we felt over Luna's sudden death. I'm so glad we did adopt them and my only regret is that Luna never got the chance to meet them because she loved other cats so much and would have doted on these two (she used to bring home all the local strays, demand that they share her dinner, then play all day in the garden with them!). Here are some pictures of my pair:

This is Sugar sitting in the kitchen sink!

This is Spice having an amble round the garden on a sunny day.

"Follow me!" says Spice.

"Are you coming or not?"

And here they are together, chilling out on the staircase.

Dawn F · « **Reply #22 on:** May 06, 2009, 16:53:42 PM »

says more about the woman than the man I think

maryas · « **Reply #21 on:** May 06, 2009, 16:50:39 PM »

Aw, poor sugar and spice - as you can see from my signature below no man is taking the place of my cat

Can't wait to see the pics and I'm sure they will have a fab life with you.

Mary

Michelle (furbabystar) · « **Reply #20 on:** May 06, 2009, 15:54:13 PM »

Ignore people ....bleeding idiots !!

When I lost Star I got Marmite within 2mths.....

Go ahead and get the Birmans hunny....and take no notice of what anyone else says
xxxxxx

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #19 on:** May 06, 2009, 15:14:29 PM »

Thats so sad and she should have told the guy to take a hike rather than her cats!

I am pleased they are going to have a great home forever with you and cant wait to see them.....love their names too....hope you also get their pedigree cards cos I have mine and didnt think I would be interested but ended up looking at records on the web of the various lines LOL. Also pedigree names are so funny too and the names they are called at home are often so diefferent.

My two came to me as Wellington and Napoleon and admittedly Napoleon is one of Frantas pedigree names and guess they picked Wellington as a name for the other to go with it....they are litter brothers.

I was told that neither answered to their name so added Franta and Ducha (Dooka) to their names and although Ducha seemed to understand, Franta was declared deaf. Recently I tried calling him Napoleon again and to my suprise he will sometimes come when called Napoleon, not to Franta though

They are supposed to be very intelligent and I definately had doubts about that

However they are sneaky and intelligent and have ways of finding a way to get what they want, I can see Ducha plotting and planning LOL.

Dawn F · « **Reply #18 on:** May 06, 2009, 14:59:30 PM »

what a sad story - I'm glad they are coming to you though, I have no doubt they will be happy

harlequin · « **Reply #17 on:** May 06, 2009, 14:57:54 PM »

Well, a lovely lady from the Birman Cat Club Welfare & Rescue came to do the homecheck this afternoon. She looked around the house and asked lots of questions, and said she was really impressed and would be more than happy for Sugar and Spice to live with us

They are currently staying with a foster carer down south, so the lady from the Cat Club is going to have them transported up to Shropshire/Staffordshire for us to collect, which will hopefully be on Sunday. She also told me a little bit more about Sugar and Spice and how they came to be rescue cats.

They had been bought as a wedding present for a bride by her new husband, and were absolutely doted on for the ten years they were married. Then the couple got divorced and the cats went to live with the wife. The wife picked herself up, dusted herself down, and started dating again. She fell in love with a new man and, in time, he wanted to move in with her. Unfortunately, he attached a condition: the cats had to go. According to the woman, her boyfriend was insanely jealous of Sugar and Spice because they had been bought for her by her ex-husband and he "didn't want to be reminded of that". And, believe it or not, this woman actually handed over her beloved cats to the Rescue, so that her boyfriend would move in with her!

Instead of telling this bloke to take a hike, she does exactely what he says and poor Sugar and Spice, who had done nothing wrong, had to leave their home

It's so sad, and I'm so glad that they will be coming to live with us. I think their original owner still feels guilty, because she phones the rescue every week to check that Sugar and Spice are ok. I asked the lady from the Rescue to pass on a message for me, and tell her that Adam and I have promised to take care of Sugar and Spice for the rest of their lives. I hope it gives her some comfort to know that her pets are going to be well-cared for.

I shall post photos of Sugar and Spice when they arrive and have settled in a bit

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #16 on:** May 06, 2009, 00:11:42 AM »

You are among friends here and we all understand

harlequin · « **Reply #15 on:** May 05, 2009, 22:34:08 PM »

Thank you so much guys! I can't believe I have had such an overwhelmingly positive response. I know that I'm making the right decision, and of course shall let everyone know how the homecheck goes tomorrow! Thank you so much for all your shared experiences, advice, and support. It really means a lot to me to know that others understand the emotions I'm going through right now

Kucinta · « **Reply #14 on:** May 05, 2009, 19:04:01 PM »

Just to say that you've obviously thought this out carefully, and have so much love to give these two cats, and I think it's wonderful that you can give them a home together. You've made it clear they're not a replacement for Luna, but both they and you can give each other so much now, so why wait?

Try not to let the thoughtless comments of others get to you - and certainly don't let them influence you! This is not a whim on your part, you know that, so go ahead with your adoption plans.

As for negative comments, if you have the strength, tell the people concerned you have thought it out carefully, and that you find their ill thought comments extremely hurtful. If that's too much to cope with, then simply don't discuss the matter with them.

And please, please share pictures of your new family members when they arrive!

Sheli_80 · « **Reply #13 on:** May 05, 2009, 18:45:31 PM »

I totally understand the need to have another cat in he house and like others said there isn't a "right" time to get another. I remember saying to my OH in car as we drve back from having my old man PTS that I was so grateful that we had other cats in th house to go home to as I couldn't bear the thought of going home to an empty house. We got a pair of kittens 2 weeks later and the helped a lot, esp as they needed so much attention it kept me busy so I didn't miss my old boy so much.

By no means are they a replacement, it's been over 2 months I still miss my Henry. I still pick up things in the supermarket that I think he would like before remembering.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #12 on:** May 05, 2009, 17:42:57 PM »

I got Misa and Sasa 7 days after Kocka went to the Bridge but contacted CP the next day cos I was in agony without a cat. I could not stand the empty house and no fur to touch.

I actually met them only 3 days after and stroking cats at Cp helped me feel human again.

Its very much down to each individual and dont let any of these idiots get to you

I think birmans are are a great choice for indoor cats, especially as they are getting older. I have two birmans who were about 12 and 1/2 when the atrrived. They have never been bog on going poutside although they did before they came here and did when they first arrived.......well after they had settled in.

Both go out only occasionally now as they are coming up to 16 yrs old but its their choice.

Be prepared for birman mrowwing though LOL, they can be very chatty and they like lots of human attention and get quite cross when they feel they dont get enough

Cant wait to see the new birmans on Purrs

Desley (booktigger) · « **Reply #11 on:** May 05, 2009, 08:22:10 AM »

I am sorry you have had to deal with insenstive people, but please do ignore them - I had similar comments after losing my first cat, as I went to the rescue the day after, I live on my own and coudlnt bear the house being so quiet and empty. I see it as a fitting tribute to the love I gave them, that another needy puss will benefit from that and get the love and attention I have to give. I also find it helps immensely with the grieving process. LAst year, knowing I was going to lose Rosie, I actually started looking while she was still here, and Mabel came the week after I lost her.

maryas · « **Reply #10 on:** May 04, 2009, 21:50:19 PM »

Sod what your so called mates and colleagues are saying. You loved Luna and always will. Another cat will not take her place but it will help you get through a very sad time and give another cat a loving and caring home.

My Smudge went missing Sept 2007 and in December I fostered Bonnie becasue I didn't want to adopt another cat as it was like saying Smudge wasn't coming back. However after 4 days I adopted Bonnie because we loved each other so much and we needed each other. I still never stopped looking for Smudge and although it was a sad end when I found him dead in April 2008 I had Bonnie to help me through it.

Good luck and do what ever you feel you need to do.

Mary

Kay and Penny · « **Reply #9 on:** May 04, 2009, 21:24:45 PM »

when I lived alone with one cat, I found having a kitten after she died was probably a mistake, as I missed the companionship only an older cat can give

but in these circumstances I think having two older cats will be ideal, as they will have each other while you are getting used to having them

CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls · « **Reply #8 on:** May 04, 2009, 21:16:38 PM »

How rude

I decided when I thought I was going to loose Ollie, that I would get another black cat in his honer. I felt my house would be empty without a little black cat, so this was my reason why. But thankfully I still have my little black cat with me

You could always cat proof your garden if you feel they should get some fresh air. Im getting mine done soon

Sootyca · « **Reply #7 on:** May 04, 2009, 21:12:21 PM »

As others have said, there isn't a right or wrong answer to this. I have adopted again very quickly following the loss of a cat as I am lost without feline company. Don't worry about what other people say, do what is right for you and if taking these two in is what you want then forget the negative people.

Good luck for the homecheck.

Karen

bunglycat · « **Reply #6 on:** May 04, 2009, 21:10:39 PM »

I said i would never have another cat after Oscar died -i was so devastated , my then next door neighbour was concerned i was having a breakdown .
I stayed with my sister a couple of days then took off in my car for a week .I waited a few more weeks and every time i came home to a empty house i just didn''t know what to do with myself and then i got Sophie who had already had 2 homes and a foster home .
I still have her (almost 15 now) and 4 others ( and i was only going to have 2 , when i decided i was ready !! )

I think you yourself know and the people who have said these things to you are very insensitive and obviously don''t understand.

woodlandcats · « **Reply #5 on:** May 04, 2009, 21:08:00 PM »

I had 9 cats, when I lost my darling Ferris to the road. Someone suggested "taking" a new one and I got very angry. Ferris could not be replaced like an old sweater.
However, after just 3 weeks, I felt getting a kitten would soften the grief a little. And it did. Dorian came and my family felt complete again.
It's really very personal, some people say they will never get another dog when one dies, some people have another dog a week after the loss of their good friend.
Follow your heart

Rosella moggy · « **Reply #4 on:** May 04, 2009, 20:59:04 PM »

Everyone is different and it is nothing at all to do with anyone else other than you and your OH (and the homechecker of course) as to if/when you rehome other cats. I for one have tended to take another pud into our lives as soon as possible after a loss which helped as a distraction from the grief of the loss. I hope the homecheck goes well on Wednesday

Judecat (Paula) · « **Reply #3 on:** May 04, 2009, 20:46:02 PM »

My feeling is that these cats need a loving home, which you are prepared to give them. The negative people are just that. There is no time span, I waited quite a long time between Jude dying and getting Cassie, that was just when it felt right. Before I have got cats straight after a loss. If you feel that this is right for you then it is.

Debsymiller (Rufus' mum) · « **Reply #2 on:** May 04, 2009, 20:43:03 PM »

You poor thing. I can't believe how insensitive some people are and really urge you to ignore their comments. They ahve no idea what they are talking about and obviously no idea what the impact of thei horrid words are.
As long as you are ready, you are doing a wonderful thing in giving these cats a chance at a new life and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I have never waited long to invite another needy cat into my home and yes it can help the griving process but I see the adoption of new cats as a different thing to losing the previous residents as it is never replacing a cat, just giving another a chance. They are all so different.

Good luck with welcoming your new babies into you home, I am sure Luna would be very proud of you both xxx

harlequin · « **Reply #1 on:** May 04, 2009, 20:36:20 PM »

Hi guys. As some of you know, my beautiful baby girl, Luna, was hit by a car on 24th April, and her death has left my partner, Adam, and I devastated. After that, we said that if we ever have cats again, they will have to be house cats because we couldn't go through the agony of losing a beloved pet to the road again. Well, we've been offered the opportunity to adopt two beautiful Birmans. The lady from the Birman Cat Club Welfare & Rescue is coming to do a home-check on Wednesday and, should that be successful, we can take these lovely cats home in a couple of weeks. (They're 11 years old, are a brother and sister, and needed to be rehomed due to domestic circumstances). The lady said that they would be happy to be house cats (and have been most of their lives). I also spoke to a few breeders who confirmed that, in general, Birmans are happy as house cats, so I don't feel that I would be depriving this pair in any way.

However, after hearing this news, several people (i.e. friends and work colleagues) have remarked that I'm "wrong" to get another cat(s) so soon after losing Luna. One said, "You're just adopting these two cats on a whim", while another said, "I guess you're not that upset about Luna's death", and others said even worse things. These comments have really hurt me and now I don't know what to do. The prospect of adopting two elderly cats who need a nice quiet indoor life is so uplifting. I've been feeling so low since Luna died and I desperately miss feline companionship. This adoption has finally given Adam and I something to look forward to, and I know that these cats will be happy with us. I will miss Luna every day for as long as I live, and I think that what people are failing to understand is that I'm not replacing her, because she is irreplacable. Instead, I'm trying to make something positive out of her death by giving two needy cats the opportunity of a forever home, but at the same time preventing them from meeting the same terrible fate as she

Am I wrong? How long have other people waited before adopting another cat(s) after losing their pet? I read about a woman in May's Your Cat magazine who acquired two kittens a week after her cat died, and she said that it helped her enormously with her grief

What experiences have other Purrs users had? I'd be most grateful for any help or advice

Author Topic: How long......? (Read 5237 times)