Need some advice

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

Just seen this Sandra ... sorry to hear you haven't seen Wizzy ... fingers crossed this "cat lady"will be able to help if your boy is out and about. 

[bonnielass]

Well took the bull by the horns today (probably not the best day to choose ) and went to the street where there was a possible sighting of Wizzy, knocked on quite a few doors but either no reply or they hadnt seen him  one really nice lady took my details and said she and another lady up the road do feed a few stray cats but they hadnt taken much notice of colours so she will pass the word round and check when they next fed them, she also has relatives who live on various streets between my house and there and she will also pass word round to look for him, she said that she lost a cat 3 yrs ago so if she can help in any way she will, so its not all bad news and there are still a few doors to go

[dabs]

I'm with Helen on this I'm sure I'd be desperate to bring him home but it is your decision.  Just take it a step at a time

me too. i just know i wouldnt be able to leave one of mine.  i'd be frantic to get them home.  if it were your child there'd be no question would there?

Well that depends, have you met my son?!

Seriously if I thought that one of mine would be happier elsewhere and I knew that he/she was loved and cared for then I probably would just leave them there. Cats usually leave home for a reason.

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

I would want to know if it's him, but it's a good idea to get someone else to find out if there is someone else you would trust to know for sure.  It might be upsetting to actually see him.  Then, if it is him, you will have to think about what to do then. 

[JackSpratt]

Lottie, that's what I felt too. Thank you for wording it about 100% more sensitively than me. BL, hope you're OK today. Definitely find out if it is Wizzy, that's the first step.

[maryas]

You must go and find out - is there someone who could knock on their door for you?

Even if he doesn't want to com e home at least you will know he is safe and looked after and can leave him to be happy.

PLEASE FIND OUT ASAP AND STOP PUTTING YOURSELF THROUGH UNECESSARY PAIN.

Mary 

[moira]

Assuming it is him and that he is being well cared for, there is no right or wrong decision - only what you feel in your heart. Assuming the people who have taken him in are good people perhaps you need to talk it over with them. I think for me the most important thing would be knowing at last that he was safe and well. If I am absolutely honest, I think I personally would want him back.

[bonnielass]

Im so scared Mary i want to go but what if Triggers right and he left home and doesnt want to come back,that would really break my heart :'(i know i need to know but im sitting here crying because i miss him as much now as when i first lost him ,we had such a strong bond, i held him as he took his first breathe, i called him my little soldier because he had so much spirit but was also the most loving cuddlebum you could wish for, maybe im better off not knowing

[maryas]

First of all young lady I have to tell you off.........  NEVER apologise or say you are silly, they are all our babies.

My Smudge went missing 4th Sept. 2007 and I never gave up.  Unfortunately I went out to somewhere that someone had seen him and the next day 15th April 2008  he was dead on the side of the road.  At least I had some kind of closure and could bring him home - he's in my/his garden now in front of his fave heather.

Anyway, PLEASE go and see if it is Wizzy - there are too many ifs, buts and maybes to deal with - you need to know.

Good luck.

Mary   

[bonnielass]

Mary, i had Wizzy right from birth, hes 8 this year,i took his mum in when she was having kittens(my first cat ) i kept Snugs (mum ) and also his sister Scamps, Wizzy suffered with asthma so never went far  from the front gate (woods on the front ) as he knew that if anything scared him or he got stressed he would have an attack,sounds silly i know but he was my baby and always ran to me if  he was scared, the only reason i can think of for him not coming back if hes so close is that he was scared while out that morning, maybe a fox or stray dog (it was 5am in the morning)chased him and he couldnt get back to the safety of the   garden so just ran therefore getting lost as he didnt know the area away from home,plus with the asthma he didnt have a sense of smell so wouldnt be able to pick up scents.I have never given up looking for him and still follow up  any leads but this could possibly be the best one yet hence the dilema, if he is happy and settled it would break my heart to leave him there (if it is him ) and i dont know if i could live with the knowledge that he was only a short distance away from me but again if i brought him home would it be fair to him to uproot,i know only i can make this decision and its so hard                                                                                                                                

[blackcat]

Me, I would go and have a look and make sure it was Wizzy - no point worrying yourself sick if it is another cat. Then I would check out the sort of house it is - if it looks like one where they would care for their animals, I would knock on the door and chat to them about Wizzy and how you have searched for him. If it looks like a place where they don't look after cats then I would pick him up and take him home, just on dusk, in a cat carrier. But then I am kind of a direct-action person. Do, first of all, make sure it is Wizzy - it is possible to worry yourself sick over something and then discover it was not the problem you thought it was - I do hope it is Wizzy, and that you are reunited, or at least get visiting rights. But if he has settled in there and has made it his home, he may be happier staying there if they are good people.

[CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls]

This must be so hard to deal with!

I would go round and see if it was acutally him first, and see how he is being cared for etc Then I would suggest to the new owner that I would take him home and if it doesnt work out, to return him  back to them. I feel that would be the only way although it would break my heart.

Its going to be hard on both parties 

[Mollyrock]

Just my opinion but I think whilst it would absolutely break my heart and be the hardest decision I ever made if I went and saw him and it was definately him and he was well looked after and happy in his new home I would let him stay where he was.

You could uproot him and bring him home and find he doesn't get on with your other cats, doesn't settle back in etc and you end up with a v stressed and unhappy cat. It's one of those times when you might have to break your own heart for the cats best interests.

Whatever you decide to do I wish you well in what will be a horrendously hard decision to make if it is Wizzy

My opinion too. You're so good with words Lottie.
xx

[Lottie (Team Svartalfheim's)]

Just my opinion but I think whilst it would absolutely break my heart and be the hardest decision I ever made if I went and saw him and it was definately him and he was well looked after and happy in his new home I would let him stay where he was.

You could uproot him and bring him home and find he doesn't get on with your other cats, doesn't settle back in etc and you end up with a v stressed and unhappy cat. It's one of those times when you might have to break your own heart for the cats best interests.

Whatever you decide to do I wish you well in what will be a horrendously hard decision to make if it is Wizzy

[Kay and Penny]

been thinking more about this dilemma, and as this house is only half a mile away, if Wizzy has been free to come back all this time, and has not done so, I think I would accept that he has made his own choice

if on the other hand he has not been allowed out, and has been unable to make a choice, then I would probably feel justified in claiming him

[JackSpratt]

I'm with Helen on this I'm sure I'd be desperate to bring him home but it is your decision.  Just take it a step at a time

me too. i just know i wouldnt be able to leave one of mine.  i'd be frantic to get them home.  if it were your child there'd be no question would there?

Going to be controversial so don't all pelt me with cyber tomatoes.....he isn't a child. What happens if Wizzy's settled into life at this new place? (If it is him.) I kind of agree with Mark; even though it would be extremely painful emotionally for the person in question, it would probably be less stressful for the cat. Ultimately though, BL it's your decision - and it all depends on the home this cat is in.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

i would be there like a shot and mine are all chipped so definately mine 

[maryas]

OMG I was going to say 'get your ass down there and get him back' BUT.............lots of things to MAYBE consider:

How long did you have him nd how old is he? Has he lived with them longer?
Is he happy with them?
Will they promise to look after him?  You will see how well they have done so far.
I can't say for certain if he will remember you.

Why did you even consider not bringing him home?

I think you have to see him and then make the biggest decision of your life.

Good luck.

Mary 

[Bonkers Mad!!!]

I'm with Helen on this I'm sure I'd be desperate to bring him home but it is your decision.  Just take it a step at a time

me too. i just know i wouldnt be able to leave one of mine.  i'd be frantic to get them home.  if it were your child there'd be no question would there?

[Janeyk]

I'm with Helen on this I'm sure I'd be desperate to bring him home but it is your decision.  Just take it a step at a time

[Tiggy's Mum]

As hard as it is, if he is welled looked after, it is probably kinder to leave him where he is. If these people took him in as a stray and have been taking good care of him, surely that is the main thing? I doubt they would want to part. I think you may have to be a bit selfless here? 

Easy to say as after typing that, I imagined if it were one of mine and not sure if I would be able to follow my own advice. I difficult one 

Noble advice but I'm afraid if that were one of mine, regardless of how well looked after and loved they were, I could do nothing else but bring them home - even if I wanted to be selfless I simply couldn't leave them there 

I think you would have to be 100% certain it was him, do you have any close up photos that show any distinctive markings?

[Mark]

As hard as it is, if he is welled looked after, it is probably kinder to leave him where he is. If these people took him in as a stray and have been taking good care of him, surely that is the main thing? I doubt they would want to part. I think you may have to be a bit selfless here? 

Easy to say as after typing that, I imagined if it were one of mine and not sure if I would be able to follow my own advice. I difficult one 

[Kay and Penny]

I would say first thing is to see if he it is him - second thing, if it is, is he being looked after well, and is he loved?


anything else will folllow from this information

[bonnielass]

Its now almost 1 year since my beloved Wizzy disappeared (10th april 2008) i have recently been given some information that he has possibly been taken in by someone  who lives about 1/2mile away from where i am, now thats my problem and i would love to know what others would do. Do i go round to see if it is him and if it is do i bring him home or leave him there,if hes settled is it fair to uproot him and bring him back to a household with other cats hes never seen before,,will he still remember me and his mum /sister, im so scared i really dont know what to do for the best.if it is him i know i will want to bring him home, but will it be fair. I want to do whats best and if its him will the new owners let me take him back afterall hes not chipped as he never usually went out of the garden so how could i prove it s him, i have photo,s but all silver tabby s look pretty much the same so it would only be my word that he was mine, im so scared i wont to go but at the same time i dont please help me to decide