I'm winding down

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I am pleased you are sorting this out and trying to get a bit of time for you and family. I reckon Sean is probably right but now you are practicing , you will know that you can keep the numbers down as you need too 

We had passing out parades 

[madkittyrescue]

Pleased to hear that you are getting things sorted hun and hope that you're doing ok and takign some time for yourself. 

Thinking of you lots.   

[Dawn (DiddyDawn)]

Sorry I've not been round for a while but I'm still as busy as ever only not taking any more on at the moment.  I've been sticking to my guns and only helping with trapping, spaying/neutering and refusing to get dragged into being roped in taking more.  I'm not sure whats happening once I get my numbers down, i haven't decided yet.  I've still got 40 odd in my care at the moment that need feeding etc until they are homed.  Still haven't sorted out the Brighton lot but hopefully sometime over the next couple of weeks when finances are a little better than they are at the moment.  I've managed to rehome a couple of parrots as well so I'm now down to 3 which will give me more time on that side of things as well.  I've had a chat with Sean and he fully understands my decision although he's not sure that I will be able to not do what I'm doing on a long term basis, but he's going to try and find some farm homes for me for the ferals.  Craig's now started at the Harrogate Army College and absolutely loves it, he's settled down really well and has informed me he's not missing his mummy       I speak to him most nights and will be seeing him soon when he has his passing in parade, and being honest I can't wait as he'll be home for a week    Thanks for everyone's support, and hopefully things will sort themselves out in the end   

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Only just catching up with the posts and definately you need some time for R and R and also to give the finances a break 

I am sure cos you are you , you will never be able to quite stop but a break is definately a good idea.

Rest and relax with your son before he joins the Army and also with the rest of your family, precious time 

[Ann Clarke (Tabby cat)]

Can only echo what everyone else has said Dawn, you do so much and you really need some time for yourself too. It's hard enough for us at the moment but at least there are a few of us so if things get bad we can share the burdens or even just have a good old moan to each other. I really don't know how any of you one person rescues manage to do so much and I have the utmost admiration for you all. Take a step back Dawn and recharge your batteries and hopefully your finances I know what our vet bills are like so I know how much of a struggle it must be for you to do as much as you do. I know you have lots of peeps to talk to on here but feel free to contact me too if you want to

[madkittyrescue]

some very well deserved chill out time hun.  Take the time you need to get yourself sorted, that's what is important.  We can all be stubborn I think and don't want to be defeated but there comes a time when you have to put yourself first, this is YOUR time.   I'm sure your know your friends will be here for you if you need us just give yourself the break you desperately need.

 

[Dawn (DiddyDawn)]

Thanks hun      I am a typical Taurus and as stubborn as sin so don't really know when to stop    Hubby is pretty good and he understands my need to help but even he is worried about me at the moment and thinks I will make myself ill.  I'm still not sleeping and I think once I get my numbers down a bit I'll be able to relax, when I go to bed at night my mind doesn't stop and I'm constantly thinking about what cats need to be sorted and trapped and where they can go, it doesn't do your health any good    I need a bit of my life back to catch up on all my jobs and just have some chill out time 

[madkittyrescue]

Dawn, for what it is worth hun I definately think you are making the right move.  I have been saying it for quite some time now that you really need time out for yourself and I for one am pleased to hear that you have made the decision to take things easy for a while to get yourself and your brood sorted.

Take the time you need to feel better in yourself and get some well earned rest.  Switch your phone off if you feel that is what you need and if you do take calls you can still offer advice but just tell people you're full.

Whilst you may not be able to help any cats while you rest that far outweighs you running yourself into a hole in the ground and not being able to help any cats ever again.  If and when you feel ready to come back into your rescue work then do so at YOUR pace huney.   there is only 1 of you and none of us can save them all single handedly.  You have done waaay more than your fair share of late at your own expense and cost of your health.

 

if you feel like a chat hun you know where to get hold of me... but I know from experience sometimes we just need a bit of time on our own first.  xx

[Dawn (DiddyDawn)]

Thanks for all the support, I feel so much better about my decision now       Part of the reason I need to cut down is pure financial, I don't charge a donation fee but with the cost of fuel and everything going up, I really need to cover some of my expenses especially my fuel cost when taking cats to their prospective homes.  I have wear and tear on my car and whether someone can afford a donation or not, I still have to pay for my diesal which on occasion has absolutely skint me but I have done it on the knowledge that I will be getting my fuel costs covered at the other end which in some cases doesn't happen    People have to remember, the more I am out of pocket, the less I can pay out for my cats, money has to come from somewhere and I have the same worries as everyone else when it comes to finances, more so really as I have to find minimum £80 a week to feed them all and that is just for the cats.  I also have my dogs and parrots and a family to feed.  I also have a family who very rarely see me which may be a good thing but I do miss spending time with my kids.  As a one man band, I don't have anyone to share the burden, I have made some really good friends who listen to me ranting about life in general and they have been a big help to me emotionally and you all know who you are        Once I get some of them going out which will be the Manchester cats and some to the farm, I think life will be so much easier but to keep it that way, my doors will be closed for a while apart from the ones I still need to sort.

[Ela]

We do have a suggested donation of £30 for a cat/kitten and of course the are all neutered/spayed if old enough, flead/wormed, micro-chipped and injected. Although we appreciate a good home is more important than a donation often we don't get a penny. Once someone gave us 37p for 2 cats. Also so many people say I will send you a donation at the end of the month. surprisingly the end of the month never comes. The annoying thing is most of the people can afford it, to be honest with you if we thought they could not provide for a cat.kitten we would not home

[LesleyW]

I agree entirely Dawn F.  However I do think that DD needs to be firmer with people regarding covering her expenses.  She is too kind and collecting/delivering cats over long distances actually costs her.  I don't know how some people can be so without a conscience when Dawn is such a kind and helpful person.  I am glad that she has made this decision to give her time and space to sort out her time with her family, her furry brood and herself.  Bless you DD you are one in a million but you have to stop letting people take advantage of you and at the very least ensure they cover your fuel costs entirely and if possible give you a donation towards food, vets bills etc.  Take care and I will ring you or you can ring me if you feel up to it. x 

This has really annoyed me for some time.  When I adopted Foofoo from DD we travelled up to Bradford to drop a cat off to another adopter (I paid for all fuel costs) and in addition I gave her £70 as a donation.  DD wouldn't tell me what the vet bill was for Foo but I bet it was more than that!!

I remember not that long ago DD travelling approx 1 hour away with 2 kittens only to be given £5 when she got there, that didn't even cover the fuel costs!!!

These kind of people who adopt from rescues should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves with this kind of behaviour.  DD works so hard and to be given such a pathetic donation, nothing at all or less than the agreed is a slap in the face.  Yes we are all tightening our belts at the moment but where does DD turn for financial support??

Rant over

Unfortunately, there are so many people who assume they are doing you a favour by adopting a cat from you, or at least that's how they come across to me, and although I do ask for a donation of £60 I find it really difficult and some people still take offense at being asked. .  They also think of you more as a business than a rescue some times, only the other day someone phoned me up and the conversation started "do you sell kittens?".  I politely pointed out that I re-home kittens and told her I did not have any available.   I end up trying to advise people of how much I have to pay out for the kitties in vaccinations etc, basically trying to justify myself to them - I am sure most of them still think I am making money out of a cat rescue - I would love to meet someone who does

They also seem to think, though how the two go together I am not sure, that they are getting the most healthy, well adjusted kitten in the world, when truth is they have normally come to me because they are sick, orphaned and have basically had the worst start in life - why do they think I am called "Eight Lives Left".  I never let kittens go until they are vaccinated and have been given a vet "all clear" but new homes and the upset of a move can often bring out little tummy upsets etc and they are always straight on the phone moaning that the kitten is "not right" and wanting compensation.

They even call you up six months after they have had the kitten to say it has been poorly and expsting me to give them some money towards vets bills.

I think alot of people think that us in rescue don't have to pay for vaccinations, medications, microchips, etc like everybody else - that we all have marvellous vets who do everything for free for us.  Ohh, wouldn't that be nice.

On the other side of the coin, the people who re-homed my very first kitten gave me extra money when they picked her up, always leave food at the vets for me and send me a little something in my Christmas card every year, which is always made up of a photo of "Miss Moneypenny" and that was over five years ago, so I know there are some wonderful people who take our little babies, I just wish there was more of them.

I know where Dawn is it is even harder to get people to part with their money and if she said "no" to everyone who could not pay a donation, she would probably have over 100 cats at the moment so it is a difficult thing to balance.

Sorry, that's my rant over as well, back to cleaning litter trays.

[candyshandy]

I agree entirely Dawn F.  However I do think that DD needs to be firmer with people regarding covering her expenses.  She is too kind and collecting/delivering cats over long distances actually costs her.  I don't know how some people can be so without a conscience when Dawn is such a kind and helpful person.  I am glad that she has made this decision to give her time and space to sort out her time with her family, her furry brood and herself.  Bless you DD you are one in a million but you have to stop letting people take advantage of you and at the very least ensure they cover your fuel costs entirely and if possible give you a donation towards food, vets bills etc.  Take care and I will ring you or you can ring me if you feel up to it. x 

This has really annoyed me for some time.  When I adopted Foofoo from DD we travelled up to Bradford to drop a cat off to another adopter (I paid for all fuel costs) and in addition I gave her £70 as a donation.  DD wouldn't tell me what the vet bill was for Foo but I bet it was more than that!!

I remember not that long ago DD travelling approx 1 hour away with 2 kittens only to be given £5 when she got there, that didn't even cover the fuel costs!!!

These kind of people who adopt from rescues should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves with this kind of behaviour.  DD works so hard and to be given such a pathetic donation, nothing at all or less than the agreed is a slap in the face.  Yes we are all tightening our belts at the moment but where does DD turn for financial support??

Rant over

[Ela]

I suppose Ela with a group you can (hopefully) mutually support each other

In our case a group is 2 well 2 who work 24/7, just a total nightmare. I just cannot imagine what it is like to be a one  man band and with absolutely no financial support.

People accept the answer of "no, we are full" from the likes of the RSPCA but not from us.  Why not?  Because they know they can put us on a guilt trip and almost force us to take their cat with the "stories of woe" which are normally far from the truth.

I know exactly what you mean, the excuses people give I sometimes cannot believe and when you advise them why that reason can be overcome they come up with another and when you tell them that too need not be a problem they find something else. Usually in the end they say well I will just dump it then. I just cannot tell you the number of calls I have received this week from people who have found a stray and coincidently they are all going on holiday this weekend.
We have been trying to get more spaces in catteries but the are all booked up and of course most of the cats we take in have not yet been injected. So we have to place those we already have in pens and injected in catteries and take the uninjected ones in.

Our local RSPCA is telling people they have an 8 month waiting list.

[LesleyW]

Dawn, I think you are doing exactly the right thing and have to do what you are doing.  You need time for yourself, your family and the many cats that you already have. We one man bands cannot save all the cats in the world and, many times, we feel more guilty about not being able to help than the people who actually phone us!! and definitely end up putting ourselves out to help than they ever do.

People accept the answer of "no, we are full" from the likes of the RSPCA but not from us.  Why not?  Because they know they can put us on a guilt trip and almost force us to take their cat with the "stories of woe" which are normally far from the truth.

My days at the moment are spent entirely feeding cats, cleaning up after cats, taking cats to the Vets, medicating cats, and that is just in the morning.  In the afternoon the whole thing has to be repeated and five minutes after finishing a couple of hours cleaning, you look around and wonder what you have done because it is a mess again.  I know you are going through the same thing and probably worse because you have far more furbabes in than me at the moment.

You need time for yourself - it is hard to see light at the end of the tunnel at the moment I know - we can't escape from the problem, we live with it; it is not in a rescue centre that we leave at the end of the day, it is here in our homes, under our noses 24 hours a day, (sometimes quite literally the way my lot use the litter trays ).

You take care of yourself and don't feel guilty if you can't help someone.  Look around you at all the ones you have saved - they owe their lives to you 

[Dawn F]

totally agree

[Maddiesmum]

I agree entirely Dawn F.  However I do think that DD needs to be firmer with people regarding covering her expenses.  She is too kind and collecting/delivering cats over long distances actually costs her.  I don't know how some people can be so without a conscience when Dawn is such a kind and helpful person.  I am glad that she has made this decision to give her time and space to sort out her time with her family, her furry brood and herself.  Bless you DD you are one in a million but you have to stop letting people take advantage of you and at the very least ensure they cover your fuel costs entirely and if possible give you a donation towards food, vets bills etc.  Take care and I will ring you or you can ring me if you feel up to it. x 

[Dawn F]

I suppose Ela with a group you can (hopefully) mutually support each other, Dawn has been trying to be too many people for too long and it is impacting on her family financially and physically as all the cats are living under her roof - personally I think she should turn the phone off for a couple of months to get herself back on her feet

[Ela]

It gets to  you in the end.

It does, but I personally just cannot not answer the phone as I know I would never forgive myself if a cat lost its life just because I did not answer. I know we cannot take any more in just now we even have some cats in a cattery and have booked more pens for next month, but I find that if I speak to people often what seems like a mountain to them I can turn into a molehill and the owner can see light at the end of the tunnel. We also never close our list of cats waiting to come in as again it at least gives people hope and they know they can ring anytime to discuss any problem and usually we can sort it out.

I appreciate however, that with a private rescue finances are an extra worry, then again those of us in a national rescue have to raise our own funds  (except a very small grant from our HQ) and can have up to 100 cats at any one time. I know some groups are finding it very difficult.

[Canterbury_cats (Sharon)]

Although we dont do as nearly as much as DiddyDawn we changed our message on the phone line last week and for once we all feel a titch better... Of course we still get the odd call via vets etc but a relief to finally just do what we can for the cats in our pens and on the existing list..

It gets to  you in the end.

[Dawn F]

you have to trust yourself on this one Dawn, you do need some time out

[lucy]

 

[Dawn (DiddyDawn)]

I actually switched my phone off this morning, couldn't face take any more calls to do with cats.  Hubby keeps saying I should just call it a day but I can't see me doing that, I just need time to get my head straight and to get my numbers down, hopefully then I will feel better about things and then I get stuck back into it but on a smaller scale.  I know I've taken on too much the last few months and it's not done me any good emotionally or physically, my son leaves home in 3 weeks and I've not really got my head round that yet so everything just seems to be getting to me at the moment.  I hate feeling vulnerable and that's how I feel at the moment but doing what I'm doing, I need to be able to deal with all the crap without it getting to me and I can't at the moment without bursting into tears so I'm taking the hint for once 

[Ela]

I do know how you must be feeling. Although there are a few more of us we too are having a terrible time. I receive the majority of the phone calls up to 30 some days and by late afternoon when I just hear the  ring I am almost in tears. So many cats needing to come in and the only calls for a cat/kitten seem to be from people who I would not home a dying flea or live on a main road and want a kitten to be indoor/outdoor.

Even our local RSPCA are now telling people they have an 8 month waiting list of for cats waiting to come in and of course they are very selective which cats they put on their list anyway. I know another shelter that has 300 on their waiting list.

[Tiggy's Mum]

Sending you a big  DD, you do so much for these babes, you do need to allow some time for yourself and your family 

My thoughts exactly 

[MrsR]

 

[Baggy]

You deserve a break, time to step back and take a deep breath...and to look after yourself 
You've given so much help and support, both in real life and here in the virtual world!

[Dawn (DiddyDawn)]

Thanks huns    I'm sure I'll be fine, I just need a break as I'm physically and mentally exhausted.  Just picked the kittens up from the vets, both gorgeous hissy spitty little monsters    Whilst on my way home I popped to the farmer who is one of Sean's clients and has had ferals off me in the past, he has agreed to take 5 more off me    He said the cats he has got have been brilliant and he's over the moon with them apart from one that keeps climbing in through his window    I've agreed to take her back as she sounds as if she may want an indoor/outdoor home and I'll be taking 6 back so he'll still have 5 plus a replacement 

[Pinkbear (Julie)]

I don't blame you one little bit, Dawn.  It knackers me just reading of the antics you get up to! 

[Angiew]

yep its bloody murdr here as well and am feeling the same.

Sadly the more we do, the more people expect us to do for them - nanny state stuff. People should be more responsible.

You take care, I don't know how you manage to do half the stuff you talk about and I bet theres more besides that you don't talk about.

go out, get drunk. It nevers makes me feel better but I'm usually so glad once the hangover has gone that it makes other things seem more manageable.

[clarenmax]

Sending you a big  DD, you do so much for these babes, you do need to allow some time for yourself and your family 

[Gail Bengal Slave]

  DD 

[LesleyW]

Hun, I know exactly how you feel and you should definitely not be feeling guilty, you have done MORE than your fair share recently, taking in so many, when the likes of me had already had to start saying no.

Re-homing seems to be really slow everywhere but the phone calls to take them in never seems to stop.  Although I'm officialy "closed" to any at the moment, will probably be taking in one 15 week old kitten in the next 24 hours because the woman is pregnant and moving to a 6th floor flat and does not think it fair on the kitten.  Why didn't she think of that a couple of months ago when she obviously got the poor thing.  Luckily, Mike is away for a couple of day so it will be a case of telling him it was left on the doorstep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will call you later for a chat, once OH has left for a couple of days.

[Dawn F]

I typed a big long post and lost it - anyway the gist was, you've done more than most and even if you never lifted another finger (which I doubt) you've done more than your share - I do think you need some time out, even from your posts you sound exhausted - you've got my number if you need a chat or if there is anything I can do

[Maddiesmum]

I don't blame you Dawn.  It's a shame you can't get help, especially with the rehoming.  If you don't, at least, take a break you will burn yourself out and you need time for yourself.  Big  

[Dawn F]

    

[Dawn (DiddyDawn)]

After a lot of consideration I am winding things down.  I have seriously had enough and I need to get my life back in order.  I doubt I'll be packing in as I love the cats with all my heart and there isn't enough people doing cat rescue but I really need to start saying no.  I am at my absolute limit, absolutely skint and getting phone call after phone call and there isn't enough of me to go round although I would love to save all the cats in the world, it's putting me on mega guilt trips when I can't help      I've had the vets lumber me with 2 kittens this morning, one with a bad eye and I've had a recycling company having found a kitten this morning, very young and they think mum was killed the other day on the road    I dread to think what happens to the ones that get turned away but I can only help so many and when it comes to the ferals, I seem to be the only one round here prepared to help but sadly I can't do it anymore.  I've got a few to sort, mums and kittens which I will do but any others, I will just have to pray someone somewhere will step in.  Rehoming is extremely slow and this is part of the problem, if homes were a available I would have room to help but instead I'm forking out money that I haven't got and going overdrawn in my bank constantly which in turn costs me more    I will still put pleas out and help where I can but I really don't want to be taking in anymore unless a miracle happens which I know is doubtful