Most cats hate being picked up. But there are always occasions when, for the cat's own safety you have to be able to do it. Try starting off with tiny lifts, just up and back but only a few inches. Esther was a bit uncomfortable with this when she first arrived, and still does not like it much, but lifts onto laps, then a bit higher, and a bit higher, slowly, calmly and with lots of support so her hind legs are not dangling... They are completely vulnerable when being lifted, so hate it happening until they get used to it.