Topic: New addition rather timid, how to approach him? (Read 9949 times)

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #49 on:** August 15, 2014, 06:47:29 AM »

What a good little lad. Bet you were feeling rightly proud!

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #48 on:** August 14, 2014, 19:17:53 PM »

So my timid kitten met the vet today...who commented on how friendly he was! And not bothered at all with the vaccinations he got.

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #47 on:** August 11, 2014, 15:25:15 PM »

Quote from: Sue P (Paddysmum) on August 10, 2014, 18:37:36 PM

Well done, Harvey. (Having kids over would make me poo and pee in inappropriate places, so hey! )

Me too sue!

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #46 on:** August 10, 2014, 18:37:36 PM »

Well done, Harvey. (Having kids over would make me poo and pee in inappropriate places, so hey!

)

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #45 on:** August 10, 2014, 17:55:32 PM »

My timid kitten today has given me permission to pet him, so so happy! He's had a stressful day today with guests over (kids) and reacted by toileting not in the box but aside from that he has come so far in less than a week.

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #44 on:** August 09, 2014, 22:02:47 PM »

Sounds as if things are going really well!

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #43 on:** August 09, 2014, 21:51:34 PM »

Wow - that is huuuuuge progress!!!

Well done.

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #42 on:** August 09, 2014, 20:42:23 PM »

Harveys crying has calmed alot since yesterday morning and we were able to get our bed back last night! Hes having fun jumping up onto the bed whilst im there so hes getting used to us.

I tried feeding them together, about 2 meters apart. Harvey ate, Bane nibbled, growled and walked away leaving his food.

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #41 on:** August 09, 2014, 07:19:51 AM »

That sounds good.

Opposite sides of the room is fine for the time being. It might be now that he knows there's another cat - he's smelled him - he's seen him

he might be feeling much more optimistic about this new place that he finds himself. Bane will be less thrilled I would imagine, but will at least be able to digest that the size of this new interloper is not much to worry about.

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #40 on:** August 08, 2014, 21:45:54 PM »

So far there is less meowing today, nit sure if coinciding that Harvey has now seen bane. They can be in the same room together but opposite. Sides. If Harvey starts wandering then bane will start growling but we haven't seen much more action than that.
We have a feliway setup in the bedroom now too.

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #39 on:** August 08, 2014, 10:10:07 AM »

I've only witnessed bane at the kitten side before when we introduced him (the other cat no longer with us). We will see how it goes and report back with more information on his behaviour. I think we will be getting a feliway diffuser for our bedroom at least so we can sleep in our bed hopefully! We've even been sleeping in the living room.

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #38 on:** August 08, 2014, 10:01:27 AM »

He probably will - he'll be cheesed off at the thought of some little weed muscling in on his patch.

He's been top cat up to now.

What sort of personality does Bane have ordinarily? That will help to deterrmine what is "normal" for him. Some cats dont get hissy or growl. Other cats do, but when faced, just turn tail and exit a room. Some cats just stay away from any kind of meeting or confrontation, and that can be the hardest reaction to resolve.

The best thing to try if the growling persists, or the turning tail and scarpering, or if fisticuffs seem to be the order of the day, is to engineer matters, such as with scent swapping and site swapping (where Bane gets to spend some time in Harvey's room, and vice-versa, without the other one being around in that room too) and then feeding at the same time on either side of a closed door, gradually leaving a gap in the door between the two. Alternatively engaging them in mutual play together.

That one took a bit of time in our house. Tinks wouldnt play. He was a "steer clear of the whole situation" kind of a guy. You could see he wanted to play, but at first he wouldn't. He'd scarper. Eventually though, he couldnt resist. We ended up at one stage with two wand toys on the go. OH wolld play with one of them, and me with the other, and have them together in the same room. (and our living room is tiny, so all ornaments and the like had to be put away for the duration!)

We were fortunate though, inasmuch as Moray was an incredibly sensible kitten, and could sense when to make a move, and what kind of move to make. He played the long game - he was a patient kitten. (Knew he had to be if he was "gonna be allowed to stay"

) [And there was a stage very early in when we thought he wasn't going to stay - my OH was being particularly devastated at Tinks' disappearing act and was all for giving up, but I managed to kick that one into the long grass, and persuaded him to try a different approach with the help of our Purrs family on here

]

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #37 on:** August 08, 2014, 09:48:03 AM »

What is normal behaviour when the cats do meet? At about a 4 metre distance bane watches and growls.

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #36 on:** August 08, 2014, 09:41:37 AM »

That does sound to me like he's crying to see if his littermates or Mum appear. Bless his paws. Think the cuddly toy idea is nice if he takes to one, and trying to spend as much time with him when you hear him calling as you can. You could follow him round, talk to him, and ask him to show you what he's searching for - I know it sounds daft, but hearing you respond to his cries will be reassuring, and he'll know that you're taking notice of him. He won't over milk it - cats dont really go in for that. They're pretty direct with their requests - it's just us who sometimes have difficulty interpreting them. But with that little guy, I reckon it'll be fun trying to find out. and it's all part of the bonding process.

We had one lovely little chap who - when his hooman "Daddy" went out into the garden, and he was too young to follow - stood at the glass and went "squeeeeweeeeweeeeweee" in an astonishingly strident tone, because he wanted him to come back for him. It formed part of his nickname, and he became known as MacBeenz MacSquee purely because of his vocal style. Moray does a similar thing, and we often call him McMoray MacSquee in an affectionate nod to his predecessor.

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #35 on:** August 08, 2014, 09:29:06 AM »

He is most vocal when he's having a wander around the rooms, we are usually pottering about doing G what we normally do or watching TV and playing with him in the evening.
Bane so far has been outside when Harvey is wandering about. The meowing he has heard so far he hasn't done anything about. He just lies and watches, albeit from a distance

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #34 on:** August 08, 2014, 06:59:42 AM »

For us, it's easy to forget what it feels like to be that kitten. We're excited at having a new member of the household, and want everything to be our idea of perfect. For the kitten, they've been taken away from everything familiar, and placed in a wholly unfamiliar situation. he doesnt have the luxury of snuggling with his littermates for companionship, or looking to his Mum for guidance on all the new stuff. Because Harvey is quite reticent by nature, he's actually being incredibly courageous and adventurous by his standards.

He's definitely too young to be "calling" in a sexual sense. Some cats are vocal and others aren't. It's worth remembering though that cats seldom vocalise with each other - they usually save it for their human companions. So if he's talking, you can listen.

Where is he when he is most vocal? Where are you or other family members? What else does he do when he cries? Does Bane hear him, and if so what is Bane's reaction?

Feliway or Pet Remedy wont do any harm if you want to try it. I think it was helpful when we introduced our two, but please dont rush things if Bane isn't ready - kittens are very receptive to play and companionship. Your older cat may not be so keen to have his world rearranged, so you have to give him space to adjust too.

Liz · « **Reply #33 on:** August 08, 2014, 06:42:30 AM »

If he has a bed area a large teddy or stuffed toy in it makes them feel less lonely it is a big change to go from being a dibling to a singleton for any little one

I wouldn't worry he isn't calling he is just being vocal because he is on his own and it takes a bit of time getting used to - I had the same problem with young Master Sergai who is now a year old as he was a single found kitten at my local cattery and came home with me after picking up my dogs from their after a holiday, he is now a Mummy's boy and best friends with my 2 youngest rescue Bengal kittens Quaver and Minstrel who are 9 months old - they were born here when Mum came on foster

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #32 on:** August 07, 2014, 23:08:13 PM »

Not even for mother or siblings? We will wait it out, just no idea as previous cats we've had have settled in great and were much older

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #31 on:** August 07, 2014, 22:49:51 PM »

He wont be calling cos he is far too young.

You have to be prepared for everything to happen very slowly, a few days is not slowly

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #30 on:** August 07, 2014, 22:28:23 PM »

My friend has commented Harvey cry sounds like a calling cry, 3.5 days he's been here and it's still almost constant. Are we expecting things too soon for it to calm? How long might it take before he stops calling?

mad_lilli · « **Reply #29 on:** August 07, 2014, 20:25:22 PM »

He'll decide on one and it'll be his fave. We like catnip or valerian spray here to attract mogs and establish ownership!!!

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #28 on:** August 07, 2014, 19:21:49 PM »

I have given him a few toys from Tuesday evening. A toy cat, a teddy and a ghostie fluffy thing

mad_lilli · « **Reply #27 on:** August 07, 2014, 19:18:30 PM »

Has Harvey got a cuddly toy??? My sis does volunteer stuff for CP back home in Belfast, and the kittens seem to love their cuddlies for company/reassurance. My "4 year old kitten" loves hers and my 15 yr old Laydee Lilli will lie on anything that I have worn...........

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #26 on:** August 07, 2014, 11:55:11 AM »

Just purrrrrrfect

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #25 on:** August 07, 2014, 11:48:03 AM »

Kitten is called Harvey

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #24 on:** August 07, 2014, 11:37:05 AM »

Lovely pics, has he got a name yet?

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #23 on:** August 07, 2014, 10:28:12 AM »

Great, thankyou

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #22 on:** August 07, 2014, 10:24:51 AM »

I would say carry on as you are for now. The more he gets used to you, and gets close to you, the more likely he is to seek you out for company. Before long, you may be able to pick him up and handle him without him feeling uncomfortable or trying to get away. It's all about confidence building at this stage.

It's a good sign that it's just growling, and no fisticuffs between them, and as they get used to each other, that should settle down.

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #21 on:** August 07, 2014, 10:20:03 AM »

Do we just carry on as we are or will something like feliway help?
The two cats an be in the same Room and bane will growl at Harvey if he comes near which I kniw would be expected just now.

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #20 on:** August 07, 2014, 09:58:42 AM »

That sounds very much like he's missing his littermates and feeling a bit lonely. Sometimes the company of other cats is what they crave/miss, but obviously that's something which still needs to be carefully supervised at this stage. It's great though that he's allowing you to get close to him, and that's real progress.

Loving the piccies of him. He's a dear little scrap, isn't he?

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #19 on:** August 07, 2014, 09:52:50 AM »

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #18 on:** August 07, 2014, 09:48:03 AM »

Slowly he is coming round to us, he will eat by my side and happily play with us. When he has run of the rooms at night when the other cat is out he will jump up on the sofa next to us. He still cries alot though. We are trying our best to spend as much time as possible with him whilst keeping resident cat and kids seperate. He cries even when wandering around the rooms though. Is there anything we can do to help or will he just grow out of it?

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #17 on:** August 06, 2014, 15:27:57 PM »

Awww, poor little chap!

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #16 on:** August 05, 2014, 22:31:51 PM »

Poor lil boy

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #15 on:** August 05, 2014, 22:29:06 PM »

Some great links there thankyou. We have had a little play today and he is having a venture around the hallway. I think he is missing his siblings, he sits by my mirrored wardrobe alot and looks like he is staring at another cat.

Sam (Fussy_Furball) · « **Reply #14 on:** August 05, 2014, 20:58:49 PM »

These links may be of help / interest

http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,4789.0.html

http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,21647.0.html

http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,4793.0.html

http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,4798.0.html

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #13 on:** August 05, 2014, 12:15:30 PM »

Sue is so right slowly slowly is the message, ummm very very slowly

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #12 on:** August 05, 2014, 09:42:49 AM »

That's the way - softly, softly.

Arcanegirl · « **Reply #11 on:** August 05, 2014, 09:26:11 AM »

His breakfast he has just eaten next To me and slowly moved the bowl next to me so I guess that's progress

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #10 on:** August 05, 2014, 08:32:59 AM »

Could be difficult to crack if you can't confine him to a smaller space.

Early days yet though. I would still say give him time.

Work with him as often as you can, whether it's trying to coax him out to play or by just spending quiet time with him.

Ideally though, he needs to be handled if you can - not necessarily by picking him up - that could just scare him, but certainly by getting close enough to pet him with an extended finger and the rest of your fist closed, or by using a toy to pet him with, instead of your hand. He needs to get used to human contact, but without rushing him. You could try withholding one of his meals until he gets close enough to take treats from alongside you, then putting his food down nearby.

I dont think it's a great idea to be petting cats whilst they're eating their meal though - after all, it's not something I would like either!

Author Topic: New addition rather timid, how to approach him? (Read 9949 times)