Group dynamic/adding a new cat to the family?

[Bryony84]

So sorry it didn't work out with Loki, this is one of the things I'm concerned about, what if it doesn't work out?

[snarf]

really sorry to hear it didnt work out with loki 

[cazzer]

yes it was hard.    We'd arranged to take him back then cancelled only to have to take him back ultimately.    I was in tears when we took him back and OH wouldn't leave the car.     He was a total cuddlebug with us and I used to wake up on a morning with him asleep in my arms.     She is trying to find him a cat free home as she described him as too boisterous for her other cats when we got him.    We thought mine would be better as they were younger and pretty boisterous themselves.       Many of the spats seemed to follow on from play sessions.      Laser sessions were a nightmare as he had no interest in playing with the dot but it meant he just wanted to errrr hump any cat around whether male or female.      Yet they are all done!       It never happened at any other time!

[Tiggy's Mum]

Really sorry to hear that things didn't work out with Loki Cazzer  That must have been a very hard decision to make  Also goes to show the importance of choosing a reputable breeder when adopting pedigree cats, such as Loki's breeder, who is prepared to offer back up if things sadly don't work out. Do you know if they will be keeping him now or looking for a cat free home for him?

[cazzer]

Well this is my recent experience.   Loki arrived early October it seemed to go reasonably well with the other 7 at first but went down hill in the past three weeks with him bullying Kyrre and frightening all the rest at times.      Kyrre was then taking it out on all the others.      This was despite feliway.  It then seemed to calm down only to kick off again.      We couldn't leave them alone as the fighting was really bad.       We sadly made the decision that it wasn't going to get better so Loki went back on Saturday.    The peaceful atmosphere has quickly been restored.      I think if we were to bring other cats in it would be female kittens as we are a male dominated feline group!

[Rosella moggy]

Bertie arrived on Sunday to make eight.  Seemed a bad idea when he arrived  but it's Thursday now and all pretty good considering 

Feliway plugged in of course.  Would much recommend you get this on the go a week before any newbie arrives ..............

[snarf]

For my tuppence worth,
my initial 2 get on well,dont fight, will eat from the same bowl etc but luey really isnt keen on any contact from sparecat whenever shes tried to cuddle up. when Neko joined us they got on well straight away, theyre not cuddling up exactly but hes been sleeping next to and touching sparecat for a while, and even lucifer last week! it did take a while for lucifer to relax properly but Ultimately the relationship between luey and sparecat hasnt  suffered but sparecat now has a new friend

i was lucky as i was fostering neko and if they hadnt got on, neko would have been rehomed but i think as your 2 arent super close its unlikely to damage their relationship, might give them a common enemy tho!

[Bryony84]

I wouldn't be able to take her until towards the end of the Christmas week as we are away in Birmingham overnight on the 27th and that wouldn't be fair on the cats. She is safe and warm where she is at the moment, as long as she stays there and doesn't just get given away to someone on the tree site. My OH is home after that through to the 2nd (I'm back at work), after that we won't be going away until next June, when my brother will be house sitting while we are in Florida.

My reasons are wanting to help an unhappy cat find a good home, I'm not sure if they are the right ones though!

[Liz]

Bryony do you have a spare room that could be set up for her, do you have the time to do introductions during the festive season, are you doing it for the right reasons

If the answers are yes to the above then give it a go the cat will be safe and warm for the Chistmas period and you can "foster" until your Mum has the room or adopt if it all goes to plan

[Bryony84]

There's only one other cat I've seen in our neighbourhood and she runs away at the sight of anything, human or animal, so not really the best way to judge, but they got on ok with Casper when they were at my mums, even though he used to chase them!

We have too much stuff for a flat (garage is stuffed with car bits) so that's unlikely, although we don't have a cat flap where we are, so the cats can only go out when there's someone home to let them in and out, which is definitely a consideration.

I did ask her current owner about other cats and she said that she used to live with another 2 cats and got on fine with them, although that's obviously no guarantee. I had also thought about asking my Mum about her as she misses cuddles with my 2 (casper isn't a cuddle sort of cat) but she's currently looking after a friends cat for a month so wouldn't be able to even consider it for a while.

[Tiggy's Mum]

I have often had the same dilemna when considering a new brother/sister for the boys (usually from Paws Inn - way too tempting!) but have always held back as what the boys have together is 'perfect' and I don't want to spoil things, also I don't know what they are like with other cats as they have never met any. I guess if everyone thought like that though and never added to the furry family then there would be tens of thousands more cats in rescue up and down the country 

I think the things to consider are:

How do your girls seem with other cats in the neighbourhood? Are they cat friendly in general? As the reason for rehoming is her not adjusting to indoor life, are you likely to move into a flat in the future? Have they said how she is with other cats? Can you afford another cat?

One option could be to think of yourselves as fosterers and take her on but at the same time put her on the local rescue waiting lists. If it really didn't work out between them all then at least she can be rehomed via a rescue rather than via the tree site 

She's very pretty 

[Bryony84]

I don't expect them to get on seamlessly or cuddle up together, as the girls don't do that anyway and they are sisters and have been together since they were born. They refuse to be in the same place together (on the bed etc), if one gets on, the other will get off!

Its more a case of I don't want them to gang up on a new cat, damage each other etc or any of them to become depressed/unhappy. I guess I can only try but if it doesn't work out I'd be in trouble with the OH!

[Dawn F]

to be honest I think it is a suck it and see thing - Amber blended into our group seemlessly, Star introduced at the same time didn't - they don't hate each others guts but while the other three will cuddle up on the bed she will rather sleep in the conservatory - you never can tell how it will work but I suppose there are a large number of multi cat homes on here so it obviously works out sometimes!

[Bryony84]

Ok, so for those of you I haven't been chatting to on Facebook about this, a friend at work (who knows I'm cat crazy) told me about a friend of hers who is having to rehome her cat. The reason given is that they have moved to a flat and she isn't happy and isn't adjusting, but I don't know how long they have been there etc.

Anyway, she is now on the tree site of all places   I so want to say I'll take her as she is local and around the same age as the girls. I discussed it with my OH, but he thinks the dynamic of the 2 we have now is perfect and he doesn't want that to change and doesn't think we should get another cat.

Heres her pic on gumtree, she looks very worried, bless her!