Peeved off at my mother

[maddercow]

It is all so heartbreaking but from my own experiences it is ALWAYS better to get a diagnosis however awful it  may be because most illnesse can be treated.

I told you about poor Holly the last time but Rosie was nearly 18 when we had to have her put to sleep and I will NEVER forgive myself for it. We KNEW her teeth were a bit iffy but did we do anything?  No, we just hoped it would get better but of course it didn't. She stopped eating & we took her to the vets and they said they couldn't do anything as she was too old/weak for such a massive dental op as was required and that was that.  She had antibiotics and was ok for a few months but then we had to have her put down and although I think she was also having kidney problems and of course she wasn't going to last forever, the thought that had we just acted earlier she maybe could have been up to an operation and we could have had her for longer is just SO dreadful.

Cats are very good at hiding their symptoms but as their owners we must be vigilant.  I was blase and Rosie paid for it.

Now my cats have very regular health check ups so I know I am doing my very best for them.

I really hope poor Korky is getting better but if that weight is still coming off kidnap him from the garden and whisk him down the vets!!!

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

I think all you can do is keep an eye on Korky for any further weight loss or other signs of illness.  If there is nothing else, it may just be a bit of weight loss due to being more active (is he going out more now?) and nothing sinister but if it continues then you know as well as any of us that a vet trip is needed but that persuading your mum is going to be the hard part.  I do understand her worries as I feel a bit like that myself with Jaffa.  although I want any problems to be diagnosed early, I do approach vet trips these days with trepidation because I'm scared of what the vet might find now that he's getting older.  There's a little part of me that wants to turn a blind eye.

[Stuart]

I know 5 is young for CRF, but my Mother already lost her previous cat " Geordie  " to it, and He was only 4
no the cost isn't the issue here, I just think the bottom line is that she is turning a blind eye to the obvious and
not acknowledging there may be a problem for fear of hearing bad news 

I have even spoken about this to my Dad, and even he said he didn't notice

I will check up on Korky the next time I am home and speak to my mum about it again

I just know for a fact that if she lost Korky it would break her heart ( as they do us all  )

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

5 is young for crf or thyroid problems but weight loss is worrying and something must be causing it.  I sort of agree with Angie that beyond saying your piece or suggesting you take him to the vets, there's not much you can do except play the waiting game and hope that if/as more symptoms appear your mum will do the right thing and take him to the vets.   Everyone is different as is every cat and whilst I do not tolerate letting a cat suffer because you dont want to take him to a vet, going to the vet in turn is very stressful for some cats.  Do you know if the vet had any suspicions as to what might be causing the weight loss?  Did he say anything to your mum other than to ask her to obtain a urine sample?  I assume your mum will take him if he becomes obviously ill and in pain?

[maddercow]

My mother is exactly the same, buries her head in the sand & hopes it goes away but it won't.  If a 5 year old cat has suddenly lost a lot of weight there is something seriously wrong and I would suspect CRF or similar.

One of my mum's elderly cats lost weight & mum was saying it was her age & that she had always been skinny & this went on for a few months until she started to wet herself at which point I took matters into my own hands and insisted I take her to the vet. She was diagnosed with significant CRF, prescribed Fortekor and was ok for another 10 months, then went badly downhill & had to be put to sleep. Ok so she was 17 but if we had acted sooner she could have lived longer and suffered less.

I know how your mum feels, she doesn't want bad news, nobody does, but whatever Korky has is probably treatable. If she doesn't want the expense of medication then maybe she should give him up to somebody who will be able to cover the costs.

Your mother is neglecting her cat's health, if she loves him she will want what is best for him. Give her an ultimatum that if she doesn't let you take the cat to the vets you'll report her for neglect, that should galvanise her into some action.  I know this sounds harsh but this poor cat is not well and needs attention & medication.

[Angiew]

You've said your bit. I think there is a limit to how much you can say to how another person cares for their cat, as long as there is no cruelty involved.
Your mum knows the cat and it is up to her to deal with it how she and her vet think best.

At the end of the day, it is her that is going to have to deal with the consequences. Some people go to the ends of the earth to look after their cats, some way beyond where I would call it a day and the last thing they need is to tell them that. The reverse is also the case, some people will not.

Neither sort will need someone saying "I told you so" when they are grieving and both sorts do it with the best of intentions.

It is a very tricky place to be and only you know you mother and how far you can go with her.

[Janeyk]

Hi Stuart, you're right to be worried and Korky definitely needs bloods checking.  I know not easy but I would get tough with your mum and say it's cruel to leave him if he could be poorly and if she loves him she has to think of him.

( I also know that Korky means the world to my Mum, but the thought of losing him terrifies her )
She has lost Cat's to CRF in the Past 

Yes, this could be the issue so you could also (gently) suggest that if she doesn't get to the bottom of Korky's problem then she may lose another puss.  The sooner he's checked out it can be treated and he may be feeling poorly too     Hopefully it will get her thinking  - keep persuading and best of luck 

[CatGirl]

Couldn't you take matters into your own hands and take him? It really sounds serious,the cat's needs come before relations feelings,and he sounds as if he needs blood tests.Good luck.x

[Rosella moggy]

That's so sad    and so very frustrating. 

Any idea how much he weighs now?  To lose a great deal of weight at age 5 points towards something serious.  I'm afraid I too would suspect perhaps mom refused blood test or perhaps didn't highlight the weight loss too strongly.  From your drawing (excellent BTW) he looks to be a large cat and I wonder how obvious it was to the vet that he is now "skinny".

I know urine can show loss of protein but I've been told by our vets blood tests are far more reliable for testing for kidney issues that urine samples.  Is money an issue as blood tests don't come cheap.  Is she going to keep Korky in so she can collect a sample and does she realise how important it is to bring sample to vet asap and fridge is immediately.  Useless bringing a sample much over an hour or so old. 

[Stuart]

oh, I'm so sorry to hear about Napoleon  I didn't know

As for poor Korky, I was blue in the face trying to tell her to get him checked out for over a month
She came round to my house the day she took him back from the vet trip, and kept saying He was a thorough
vet checking everything, then gave Her the crystal stuff to collect a urine sample ( Korky only goes to the toilet outside )
I know it would only have taken 10 minutes to get a blood sample ( But at the same time, I wonder if SHE said no to it ?? )
mainly because of what happened with us and Olivia 

I don't know what to do now, I can't argue the point across anymore, I have tried
I have even tried getting it through her head that if there is something wrong, it may be caught so early that it would be treatable
Korky is only 5

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Sadly you are right and he needs a blood test, could be thyroid, kidneys , almost anything.

Bloomin vets could express the bladder they dont need to send the patient away for a sample, they are just being lazy and clocking up fees.

I only know this cos of Napoleon RIP who I sadly lost this week and a thats how the sample was taken.

DEnial will not help your mother or her cat, only treatment will

[Stuart]

not really anything anyone can do, just needed to vent 

My mothers Cat Korky has lost an immense amount of weight in 3 months, going from a solid cat to skinny ( can feel his spine and such )
I emphasised that my mother should take him to the vet's for a blood test, but the feeling i got was that she is in denial, saying there
is nothing wrong with him, he is still the same as he was ( I also know that Korky means the world to my Mum, but the thought of losing him terrifies her )
She has lost Cat's to CRF in the Past 

She did take Korky to the vet, but no blood test was taken, instead the vet gave her a sachet of stuff to get a urine sample??

I phoned tonight, and again she keeps saying He is Fine, There is nothing wrong with Him, I'm not going back to the vet's   

I now feel I have done all I can do after nipping her head about 7 times to get her to take Him to the vet in the first place   

I just hope SHE is right, and Poor Korky is losing the weight normally

don't think I have a photo of him on Purrs, but here's a painting i did of him a while back

http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php?action=gallery;sa=view;pic=211